Joker reached the bank in record time. He ran down the fire exit, stopping at the second floor and leaping off. He got up from his crouch, knees creaking audibly. He dusted off his jacket and stepped up to the back door. He inched it open, peeking in to see if there were cops. When he figured the coast was clear, he snuck in. He noticed, absentmindedly that there was a discarded clown mask on the floor, maybe Lars-no, Lenny, no, that wasn't right either-, the Joker thought and shrugged. Joker could hear the echoing of someone in the vault, so that's where he headed. He poked his head slightly around the big metal door and saw it was Commissioner Gordon, talking on his cell phone.
"I know you're done, Batman, but please. Think about coming back out. I can't finish this myself. There's still too many criminals and mobsters…" he paused, voice lowering slightly, "And GCPD is still too corrupt, especially with the mess about Harvey Dent." Gordon paused to take a breath, listening to the reply.
Even from several feet away, Joker could hear his voice. It made his blood run hot. Then he caught the one sentence that froze him, like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head.
"Gordon, I can't. I'm done. The city will stop at nothing to catch me, your people included."
"No, Batman. My people know the truth. You have nothing to fear from me or mine… please. I need your help, even for a little longer. Please."
"Gordon…"
Joker grinned and crept forward while Jim's back was turned. He caught Gordon with an arm around his neck and a knife pressed to his throat. Gordon stifled a yell, knowing who had him by the purple gloves. He knew that Joker had no stipulations about killing him. Gordon didn't resist as the Joker pried the phone out of his hand.
"Can't you see when a man is desperate, Bats?" Joker said into the phone, giggling.
"Joker! What have you done with Gordon?!" He growled.
"He's here, with me. Now-"
Batman cut him off, "Alive?"
"You wound me, cupcake! Of course he's alive… for now."
"Let him go." Batman demanded.
"Mayyyybe I will, maybe I won't. Depends if you'll play a game with me, Batsy dar-ling." Joker grinned as the breathing on the phone hitched, "or are you re-tired like the Commissioner said?"
"I-" The voice started but the Joker cut him off.
"Let's get serious, Batsy baby. I miss our games. This last year has been SO boring! I left you all sorts of prizes and you. Never. Showed. Do you KNOW what that does to a man's ego?" Joker pouted.
"I was sick of playing your games." Batman growled, "Let the Commissioner go. I'm done playing your games, Joker."
"Hmm, tempting, Bats. But, no. Either you show or the Commissioner dies while I'm on the phone with you right now." Joker's face started changing, growing more feral, "Make your choice, Batman. Tick-tock."
There was a sound that make the Joker's spine stiffen with disbelief. He held the phone out from his ear to Jim, "He HUNG up on ME?! Well, Commissioner, I guess this is just not your lucky night!" He spun the the terrified man around so they were facing each other.
Jim Gordon lost what little breath he had left. The Joker looked livid. His green eyes were wild, his normally manically grinning mouth was in a tight line, saliva foaming. Gordon thought he looked like a rabid dog.
"Let him go, Joker." A voice growled behind the men.
Gordon looked over the Joker's shoulder and his eyes widened comically behind his glasses. The Joker's fingers turned to ice in Gordon's jacket lapels. They slipped from his jacket and the Joker turned slowly. His face showed his confusion as he saw one of his own lackeys standing at the vault entrance.
But, wait . . . something about this goon was different, Joker thought as he looked him over. Angry clown mask, black sweater, black pants and shoes . . . His eyes widened as he figured it out.
"Bats?" He whispered.
"Let Gordon go, now." He spit out angrily.
The Joker's eyes roved the unsuited body of the Bat. He was lean and muscled and . . . perfect, Joker thought as a sliver of pleasure slid down his spine.
"Well, well, well." He drawled, trying to save face, "Look what we have here. Gotta admit, darling, I feel a little overdressed." He grinned, "But really, where have you been?"
"Joker, I'm not playing! Let him go!" Batman was losing his temper, Joker could tell and he relished in it.
"Well, Bats. How about a game?" He paused, rolling the idea around in his head, "If I let good old Commissioner Gordon go, you stay and answer my questions."
The Bat was quiet for a couple seconds, too long, in the Joker's opinion.
To sweeten the pot, he threw in, "I won't even put up a fight when you arrest me, Bats. Oh, and do try to be quicker. You know how twitchy," Joker's hand flicked the knife towards Gordon's throat, "I get when I'm bored."
Batman growled, "Fine. Let him go and I'll answer."
Joker grinned and flung Gordon towards the knight. Bats and Gordon stood and talked for a few seconds before Gordon slipped around the him and out of the vault, presumably to call more backup.
"Soo, Bats." Joker drawled, walking closer to him, "Where ya been?"
"Ask a different question."
"But, Batsy!" The Joker whined.
Batman just stared at him stoically silent, as always.
"Ugh! Fine." The Joker tapped the knife on his lip, thinking, "Why no suit?"
Again, the his archenemy was silent. The Joker was fuming.
"Y'know, Bats, I'm a man of my word! I gave your precious Commissioner up without even a scratch because you said you'd answer!" Joker snarled, arms flying chaotically around him, "And you're not keeping up with your end of the bargain!"
"Ask questions I can answer." Batman murmured so quietly the Joker had to strain his ears to hear.
Joker stilled, head cocked to the side, "Have you really been gone this whole time?"
"No." Bats growled.
"Have you been in your suit at all this year?"
"No."
Aha. Now he was getting somewhere, the Joker thought.
"Have you been . . . working?"
"Yes."
Joker paused in his questioning, knife scraping his lip in thought again. Bats had been out, but not in costume. What did that mean? Aha!
"Are you . . . undercover?" He asked slyly.
The Bat didn't answer, just as the Joker predicted.
"When will you be back?" He asked, eyeing the man in front of him.
"Soon. And you'll pay for all the havoc you've caused in the past year, Joker. I've been keeping tabs. You'll be in Arkham for a long time."
Joker grinned at him, "Aw, Batsy! I knew you cared!"
Faster than the Bat could track, Joker was up close and personal, knife held lightly under the clown mask. He felt Batman stiffen. He had underestimated the Joker again! Bruce growled.
"Oh, hush, Batsy baby. I think we both know I won't kill you." Joker breathed.
His free hand reached up and grabbed the edge of the clown mask. Batman's hand gripped Joker's wrist and held tight.
"Leave the mask, or I'll break your wrist." Bats growled.
"I'm not going to take it off, silly Bat. Let go."
Batman hesitated.
"I'm not going to unmask or kill you, Batsy, so let go!" Joker hissed.
Batman reluctantly let his wrist go. Joker slowly moved the mask up, inch by inch. He could tell the other man was itching to make good on his threat to break his wrist, but Joker just grinned wider. Once the mask was at Batman's nose, Joker stopped.
"Now there's the Bat I know!" He cackled. Then he leaned in and kissed Batman.
It was like time froze. Joker wasn't aware of his surroundings anymore, all he could concentrate on was the feeling of the Bat's lips against his own. The man himself seemed frozen in shock. Joker could see his eyes were wide, as he closed his own. He moaned softly at the contact and it seemed to bring the Bat back to reality.
Batman jerked away and punched the Joker in the stomach in one smooth motion. Joker laughed maniacally, even as his breath rushed out of him. He grabbed Joker's wrists and pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket, locking them around the Joker, as he tried to catch his breath. Joker remained placid, as he had promised. Batman pushed the Joker in front of him as they walked toward the exit of the bank.
Just before Bruce pushed him into Gordon's waiting hands, he managed to say, "See you soon, Batsy." When he turned to catch a last glimpse of his Bat, his eyes met with air. He looked on the floor and saw the angry clown mask the man had worn.