Chapter 3
"Ughhhhh" I groaned as I sat up. My back felt terrible and I had a huge kink in my neck. I had slept on the uncomfortable futon in the guest room. I moaned as I stretched my arms above my head. I left the light on my drawing table on all night. I turned it off before exiting the room. I slowly cracked open the door to our bedroom to see Spencer still asleep. Whenever I slept in the guest room Spencer somehow always made her way over to my side of the bed. I could see her leg laying on top of a pillow as she laid on her side. Her dark hair a tussled mess splayed across the pillow under her head. Her body shaped as if I was laying there. I could see her face was stained with dried tears. I was still upset with her but seeing her like this made my heart sink. I slowly closed the door and made my way downstairs. I started a pot of coffee for Spencer. I made myself a smoothie made with, strawberries, blueberries, and low fat yogurt.
Sundays were my workout days. I spent my day working out with my best friend Shana. We were both swimmers and loved working out. I looked at the microwave clock and realized she would be here any moment. I dashed up the stairs taking two at a time. I slowly opened the door trying not to disturb Spencer. I slipped on a tank top and shorts. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
"Paige" I heard Spencer say from the bed.
" Morning" I said not looking at her.
" Are you going to workout today?" she asked very quietly.
" It's Sunday"
" Right. Of course. Paige. I'm really sorry about last night"
" It's fine"
" It's not. I'm not going to make excuses for myself. I completely forgot and it is all my fault"
" Spencer it's OK. There is always next time" I said trying to laugh it off. I could see her head drop in defeat. I knew coming into this that Spencer wasn't the most affectionate person. She was thoughtful and independent but wasn't quite taught human affection in the Hastings household. I knew the only people she truly cared for were her 3 best friends. They had taught her human affection in many ways over years but she had never grasped the concept completely with anyone out of their group. I knew she was trying. I was raised the same way without much warmth or affection from my dad. Something we had in common. A lot of people didn't quite understand our relationship. Most people would describe our relationship as tense. We weren't very public with our affection like other couples. Hannah and Caleb were always all over each other. Now that Aria was out of high school her and Ezra were free to do whatever they wanted. I knew I loved her. I had for a while now.
A knock on the front door knocked me out of my thoughts.
" I'll see you later" she said hopefully.
" Yea. Later" I said rushing downstairs. Shana knocked again.
" Morning love" she said when I opened the door. She was wearing some really outrageously bright workout gear.
" Morning" I said grabbing my bag from behind the door and heading outside. She was already jogging down the sidewalk when I finished locking the door. I jogged lightly to catch up with her.
" Sooo are you sore?" she asked me. I raised my eyebrow at her.
" Ya know. From last night?" she inquired.
" Oh. Last night was a dud"
" What happened? Did you chicken out?" she asked.
" No. She forgot about our anniversary" I said under my breathe. She stopped abruptly on the sidewalk.
" Please don't make a big deal of this" I said running in place.
" Don't make this a big deal! You have been together for 7 months Paige. What the fuck? That is terrible. I ought to march right back in there and tell her to get her shit straight" she said loudly on the sidewalk.
" She is already beating herself up about it. You know how Spencer is. She cares. She is just weird about stuff like that" I said keeping my eyes on the ground.
" That is not excuse. Whatever" she said before continuing down the sidewalk.
" Are you OK?" she asked after we jogged onto the dirt trail.
" I guess. I mean it definitely hurts. I thought we were doing good but maybe not" I said focusing on the path in front of me.
" I can't believe she forgot. I'm sorry" she said apologetically.
" It's alright. Let's just run" I said picking up my pace. I wanted to forget last night. Forget how I decorated. Laying out rose pedals from the front door into our bedroom. Lighting a billion candles I had worried were going to catch the apartment on fire. Then preparing Spencer's favorite dish. Her favorite wine. Her favorite dress on me. Everything planned to a T. I guess I hadn't planned on her not really caring. My heart wrenched at that last thought. I knew she cared. She just had her own way of showing it.
" OK. OK. In my defense I thought he was a murderer. He was sleeping in the school and walking around in a black hoodie" Hannah said loudly over our laughs. It was our first time hanging out with our friends as a couple. It was a few weeks after New Years and so far everything had been great. Hannah was all for it. Caleb just kept telling me I was lucky because he thought I was going to have to downgrade after Emily. I mean how much higher could you go. Aria just seemed pleased that Spencer found someone after Toby. Ezra was thoroughly confused. We were all sitting at some fancy restaurant that of course Spencer picked out. After dinner we all had our fair share of wine.
" Yea she almost freaking blinded me" Caleb said glaring at Hannah.
" Well next time announce yourself Jerk" Hannah said jokingly. We all giggled at their bickering.
" I have to go to the bathroom" I said excusing myself from the table. I used the bathroom and came out of the stall to see Aria and Hannah standing by the sink.
" Look were going to tell you the same thing we told you when you started dating Emily. Paige if you hurt her..." Aria said harshly.
" Whoa. Guys. The last time I dated one of your best friends she kind of dumped me" I said putting my hands up in surrender.
" What Aria meant to say is we really care about you and we care about Spencer. We have been talking since New Years and we want you to know what your getting into. Spencer is not just some girl. She has been through a lot and is complicated"
" Yea. I've been here before. I already dated one of the twisted sisters" I said crossing my arms.
" As long as you know. We just don't want to lose either of you if this doesn't work out. You kind of disappeared after you and Em didn't work out" Hannah explained less defensively.
" I know but Spencer is the one who brought me back. I really care about her"
" And she cares about you. I think we all agree about that" Hannah said softly.
" We just want you to think hard about what your getting into. That's all" Aria said.
" You don't want me with her. Do you?" I said looking at Hannah. Hannah was the one who was really my friend. Even when me and Emily were dating she always stood up for me and took my side.
" I just don't want things to end badly. When we found about Toby you know how bad Spencer got. We lost her. We just don't want to lose either of you again" Hannah explained.
" I think this conversation is over" I said walking towards the door.
" I was expecting this from her but not from you" I said looking at Hannah one last time before exiting the bathroom. I could see Spencer making her way across the restaurant towards me.
" Hey. Is everything alright? You were in there forever" she said walking up to me with a big smile on her face.
" I'm not feeling very well. Can we go? I said looking at the ground. She looked past my shoulder to see Hannah and Aria come out the bathroom.
" What happened?" she asked frowning.
" Spencer. It's alright. Lets just.." she stepped past me before I could finish. I spun around to see the girls wide eyed.
" What did you do?" she said with a hiss.
" We didn't do anything. We were just talking" Aria said. Spencer pointed to the bathroom door. Both girls reluctantly went back into the bathroom. I stood leaning on the wall waiting for them to come out. They finally came out minutes later.
" Paige let's go" she said quickly walking past me. I followed behind her.
" Hey guys. Were going to call it a night. Thank you for the lovely company" I heard Spencer say to Caleb and Ezra. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair before dropping some money on the table.
" Spencer what just happened? I said before getting into the passenger seat.
" I know what they did. They gave you the talk when I specifically told them to not do that" she said plopping down in the driver's seat. I saw her grip the steering wheel tightly turning her knuckles white.
" They don't want us together. They think were not going to last and were going to hurt each other" I heard her say.
" They talked to you too?" I asked.
" Yes. Right after New Years. I told them not to say anything to you. I didn't want them to plant any seeds of doubt" she said looking at me with concern.
" Believe me. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not going anywhere" I smiled at her. She turned on the car and we made our way towards campus. She didn't look at me but I could see her eyes turn glossy.
" Spencer. It's alright. I'm not second guessing anything" I said laying my hand on her thigh. She didn't respond but instead continued to drive until we reached the student parking lot.
" Are you only with me because you and Emily didn't work out? She said abruptly.
" I..I Spence. You make it sound like I am only with you for that reason. I am with you because I happen to be single and you happen to amazing. It's not like I had a choice between you and Emily but chose her. You weren't ever a option until a few weeks ago"
" I guess your right"
" So what you said about the girls planting seeds of doubt you weren't talking about me were you?"
" A lot of this is confusing for me. It just came on so sudden but one thing I am not confused about is you. You are such a beautiful person and I care about you more than I ever could have imagined. " I smiled at her words. I got out the car and slowly walked to her side. I opened her door reaching out my hand to help her out. She took my hand and I immediately pulled her into me.
" I didn't get a chance to tell you how wonderful you look Hastings" I said spinning her around and wrapping my arms around her. I leaned back on the car as she laid flush with her back to my front. I kissed a small freckle on her shoulder. She was wearing a beautiful cream strapless dress that looked beautiful on her pale skin. " I mean even though you didn't really have to plan such a formal evening like I don't already know your friends."
" I know. I just wanted things to be perfect"
" I know beautiful. Your need and want for perfection always amazes me. But what amazes me most is how you always reach it. Your perfect" I said squeezing my arms around her a little tighter.
" Thank you but I am far from perfect. You know that" she said leaning her head away from me. I took the opportunity to place small kisses on her neck. I heard her sigh then giggle.
" Whatever you say"
" Come on Mccullers. I know you can go faster than that" I heard Coach yell when I lifted my head above water. It was Thursday night and things between Spence and I were still tense. She kept apologizing which I should have been happy about because she never apologizes for anything. Still just something in me wouldn't let it go. I told her numerous times that I forgave her but things hadn't returned to normal. Everything was very robotic between us. All week I would start her coffee then get dressed and head out the door. Our conversations were small and almost strained in the mornings. I spent most of the week with Shana working out or hanging around town. She took me to a gay cafe Tuesday before practice. We ended up having a blast with some of her new friends. The only thing I regretted was smoking hookah. I could feel my lungs burning halfway through practice and saw Shana laughing from the side of pool as I could barely heave myself over the edge.
" Mccullers! You sound like your smoking 2 packs a day. This better not be a problem come Spring" I heard coach echo through the gym.
" Paigey. You might want to stop smoking. It's bad for you" Shana said as she bent down over me. I slowly pulled myself off the ground.
" One day. One day of smoking did that" I said out of breath.
" It's probably because you've never smoked before. Your lungs aren't used to it. Not to mention you just aren't as fast as you used to be" she said in a mocking tone.
" Excuse me. I'm just a little off my game here. I haven't been sleeping well"
" Yea I guess I wouldn't be either if I was sleeping next to an ice queen" she said walking down the length of the pool. I slowly crept up behind her and shoved her into the open water.
" Your the biggest jerk Mccullers!" she said regaining her focus in the water. I stood smirking with my hands on my hip in a victorious glow.
" I told you about talking about her like that"
" You two need to stop horsing around. Don't make me demote you as co captains. Let's call it a day. You two can gather the equipment and lock it up" she said pointing at us. I helped Shana from the pool and we began to pull the lane guards in. As I cranked the machine I noticed A girl walk in that looked a lot like Emily.
" Are you seeing what I'm seeing" Shana said next to me. I stood up slowly and made my way around the pool. It had to be her. I mean how many perfect goddesses with dark raven hair and tanned skin could be wandering around Earth.
" Emily" I said once close enough.
" Paige!" she said loudly lunging forward into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her waist tightly as she lifted off the ground.
" Emily. I'm getting you wet" I said placing her on the ground. She looked as beautiful as always.
" What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting up at the cabin?"
" Well they got my dorm room ready a few days early so I figured I would make a little pit stop and drop some of my stuff off"
" Hey Emily" Shana said walking up to us.
" Shana! I totally forgot you go here" she said hugging her. She looked over at me questioningly. I just shrugged.
" I have to go but I am sure I will see you around. Paige I am going to miss our Sunday funday" she said poking my shoulder.
" I am sure you can go a few days without seeing my pretty face" I said smiling unattractively.
" Of course love. But don't stay away too long. I'll see you Monday" she said walking away.
" She hasn't changed one bit" Emily said once I turned my attention back to her.
" What do you mean?" I asked
" The flirting?" she said
" She wasn't flirting. That's just how she talks. Look let me go get changed and I'll be right out" I headed for the locker room.
" Oh and does Spencer know your here yet?" I asked before turning the corner.
" No I literally just got here. I really wanted to see the pool."
" Awesome. You can come back to the apartment with me. I'm sure she will love to see you Em" I hurried shuffled off to the changing room. It had been almost a year since I had seen Emily. She had dumped me and then went off California. I gave all her things to Hannah to mail to her. The only time we talked was when Spencer and I started dating. Spencer had called her the morning after New Years to ask her if she had any feelings for me.
" Happy New Years Em" Spencer, Hannah, and Aria yelled into the phone. It was noon the day after New Years when we finally decided to wake up and start cleaning Hannah's house. Spencer was worried the whole time that somehow the news of our kiss the night before would make its way all the way to California.
" Happy New Years Guys! I wish I was there with you" she said through the phone.
"Em I kind of called for another reason. I need to ask you something" Spencer said reluctantly.
" And that is our cue to leave" Aria said leaving Spencer and I in the kitchen. I sat in the chair while Spencer sat up on the counter.
" Is something wrong? Are you alright?" Emily said once she heard that statement.
" Everything is fine. I just needed to ask you something about Paige" Spencer replied. I felt awkward listening in on the conversation so I moved to leave the room but Spencer grabbed my arm giving me a "please stay" look. I sighed but leaned on the counter space next to her.
" Ok..."
" I was wondering how you would feel about hearing Paige was dating someone else?"
" I..Well I guess she can date whoever she wants. We're not together anymore Spence"
" I know but you never really talk about it. About the breakup or about her. I didn't know if maybe you still had feelings for her"
" No I don't. It just didn't work out. I didn't want to stretch something out that was just going to end badly"
" So it's nothing Paige did? You just ended things with her because the distance"
" Yes Spencer. That's it. There is nothing more to it" she said as if she was tired of talking.
" Ok. As you know Paige and I go to the same school. So we have been seeing a lot of each other"
" Spencer I do not care who Paige is dating. She will always be an important part of my life and I am happy for her"
" I am glad you said that. Paige and I are dating" Spencer said moving the phone away form her ear for the inevitable yelling that was about to come. We were both surprised to hear laughter.
" I'm sorry. What" she said between laughs
" Spencer that is not even funny"
" Emily. I'm being serious"
" You guys are so funny. Did Hannah put you up to this?" I could hear her continuing to laugh.
" Emily were serious" I interjected after almost a minute of her laughing. The laughing stopped.
" Paige?"
" Uhh. Yea"
" Wait your serious? You two? Spencer your not even gay!" Emily said more seriously.
" I know. I am bisexual"
" No seriously. Guys did Hannah put you up to this? I am so going to kill her" Emily said still not believing us.
" Emily. I really need you to listen to me. Paige and I are dating. It kind of just happened. We have been spending a lot of time together and we just got together. Literally last night but we won't continue this if it bothers you" I looked up at her. This is not what we had agreed on when we talked about it before we fell asleep last night. How could she say that? I was offended how she would just already offer our relationship up like that and we hadn't even been dating for one day. I walked out the kitchen onto the back porch to get some fresh air. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation. I was simply waiting for Spencer to come and tell me she couldn't be with me because she couldn't hurt Emily's feelings.
" Hey" she said walking out and sitting in the chair across from me. I didn't look at her but continued to fiddle my thumbs.
" Paige I know your upset because of what you heard. Emily doesn't care. She told me she really wants us to be happy and she would be happy if you called her later so you two could talk"
" Are you sure?" I said looking up at her.
" Yes. I'm positive. I asked her like 10 times" she said reassuringly.
" Well in that case" I said standing up.
" Will you go out with me Hastings?" I said looking at her. She stood up and stepped right in front of me.
" Part of me wants to be stubborn and say no but I know I won't be able to. So yes I would love to"
" That is why your name is Hastings" I said as I leaned in and placed a kiss on my new girlfriends lips.