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A/N: I was hoping for more reviews before I posted this, but oh well. Enjoy!
CH. 3-Remorse
Edward's POV
A nurse started asking me questions. I figured that I might as well answer truthfully—to an extent. She started by asking me what had happened. I told her that Bella had OD'd on sleeping pills, and I found her underwater in the bathtub. "Relation to the patient?" What did Bella consider me to be?
"Unknown," I answered uncertainly after a long pause. It sounded like a question, not an answer. She gave me a puzzled look and asked me my name. I replied and her eyes grew wide. They showed no emotion other than shock. Her thoughts on the other hand… So this is him, huh? This is that S.O.B. who just up and left her. She has hardly spoken since he left. I can see the pain in her eyes whenever I bump into her. I can see it in Charlie's eyes, too, only there's helplessness, too, because, try as he might, he can't do anything for her. But I wonder what has made Bella go to such extremes so as to attempt suicide? If he did something to her, I swear I'll…
I interrupted her rampaging thoughts before she did something she would regret. Meanwhile, my world—what little there was left—came tumbling down around me. I had driven Bella to this. It was my entire fault. I had caused her so much pain… "Ma'am, will she be okay?" My voice broke twice.
It's not likely. She's just so weak. She's been through a lot, and her body is shutting down. She might not even make it through the night. And it's not like she was actually healthy before this—skin and bones the last time I saw her. She's given up. "We can't really be sure. She's lapsed into a coma, and we don't know if she'll be able to pull out of it or not. The drugs she ingested really took a toll on her system. We pumped her stomach, but there's only so much we can do. We'll just have to wait and see. It's all in Bella's hands now."
I choked back a sob. She couldn't give up now! She had to fight for her life! For without her, I was nothing. "Can I see her?" I could hear the strain in my voice.
"I don't see why not." Hell no! What gives you the right to see her after all you've put her through? I can't believe I'm doing this.
Why, oh why, did I ever leave? It didn't help her at all! The only thing I succeeded in doing was nearly killing us both. I will make it up to Bella if it's the last thing I do. And it very well may be if she dies. I won't go on without her in this world.
I wonder if my family has found out that I've come back? They have Alice on their side, so I'm sure they have. But I don't regret coming back, not at all. I got to see, to hold, Bella once again.
The nurse had led me down a hallway. She was almost all the way to the end of the corridor when she abruptly turned and opened a door. When I peeked around the door jam, the sight that met my eyes was heartbreaking. Bella had IV's and all kinds of other tubes snaking around her bed. A heart monitor beeped, showing her feeble pulse, and another machine was breathing for her. A machine was controlling nearly each and every one of her bodily functions. All in all, my angel was in a horrid state.
Dazed, I stumbled to the side of her bed and sank into a chair. I faintly heard the door click shut and her receding thoughts as the nurse walked back down the hallway. At least he has the decency to show some remorse. I gazed at Bella's face, longing for her deep brown eyes to open. I reached out for her hand and held it between both of mine. I felt the electricity flow between us and heard the heart monitor splutter. Even after so long apart, she still reacted to my touch. That was a good sign, I suppose. I smiled ruefully. Why did I ever leave? How could I have been so stupid? We could've been happy and together right now, and Bella wouldn't be lying half-dead in a hospital bed. I bowed my head over our clasped hands and broke down. "I'm so sorry, Bella, so, so, very sorry! Please forgive me for the horrible mistake I've made!" I continued to heave dry sobs. I managed to look up at her face with agonized eyes. How I wished that she was awake.
Suddenly, a memory forced its way forth. I remembered Bella's letter to me—assuming she meant me by "my immortal"—in the bathroom at her house. I had to know what it said. I stood up and watched her face for any sign to show that she was awake. Nothing. I bent over her weak body and brushed the hair away from her face. "I'm here, Bella. Please wake up. You have to try, for me. I love you," I whispered against the skin of her forehead. I kissed her lightly and then turned towards the door. I paused before leaving and looked back at her unconscious form. My heart throbbed. How did I ever think that we could survive without eachother? I choked back another sob and stole from the room.
When I reached her house, Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway. I assumed that he was either on his way to or was at the hospital. I guess I left at a good time.
I let myself in and dashed up the stairs into the bathroom. The note was there, and the song's melancholy melody still drifted throughout the house. I picked up the note and tore the envelope open. As soon as I began to read what Bella had written and realized what this really was, I had to lean against the wall for support. When I read the verse that she had rewritten, I had to run. I jumped out her window and ran into the forest but was quickly overcome by grief and sank into a heap on the forest floor. I let the excruciating pain take over my body. I stayed there for I don't know how long—days, weeks, months, repeating the same thing over and over in my head.
This confirmed it; it was my fault, all my fault. If I would've come back sooner—if I hadn't left in the first place—I could be holding Bella in my arms right now. But I didn't, and it was because of me and the pain I caused her that she had been driven to such extremes. Could I have been any stupider? Yes, my mind finally answered. She could've been gone before you got to her. It wasn't until I looked up that I realized my subconscious hadn't answered; it was Jasper's thoughts.
A/N: I couldn't help it! I had to end it there! Please R&R. I'd really appreciate it! Even just a little smiley face or something will do. I just want to know if anyone likes this story or not and whether or not I should continue posting new chapters. The more reviews I get, the more inclined I'll be to update. Thanks for reading!