Disclaimer: If seaQuest and its characters were mine, the only aliens would've been Vulcans, Klingons and Romulans. Hyperion would be Earth, Stardate 2255, where Lucas Wolenczack is recruited (forcefully) by Captain Bridger to enlist in Starfleet and challenges him to finish in four years, to which he cockily replies that he'll finish the Academy in three. If not that, then they still end up in Earth, Stardate 2255, where Lucas meets Kirk and all hell breaks loose—but not really, because Captains Bridger and Pike would be there to make them clean up their messes.

I will remember you in your greatest moments, JB. This one's for you and for all of us fans—past, present and future—that you've left behind.

Regrets and Second Chances
Chapter Three: Three Wishes (i.e. wherein things go very, very bad)

Lucas had been nervous for a while, wondering what his Captain would say, but when he heard Nathan's words, that same blinding smile made his way across his face and never left. Laughing even as he cried tears of joy, Lucas nevertheless managed to say, "It's really good to see you, Captain."

To which Nathan tearfully, but happily replied with, "It's good to have you home, kiddo."

"Captain, are you sure you're okay?" Lucas, in his sixteen year old self, asked worriedly, "You've been real quiet, you're scaring even me."

Nathan would've liked to say something. But what could he say after hearing something like that? Whoever, or whatever, gave him this second chance had definitely screwed him over and he wanted to give it back—except, not really, because no matter how short this second chance was, this was still Lucas.

He still felt cheated though.

"Captain?"

One week. He had one measly week. Less than, even, subtracting the three days it took for Lucas to get here. How can four days make up for a lifetime?

"Three wishes, huh?"

Lucas looked up at him sharply then, eyeing him worriedly from the opposite couch, "Yeah, Cap. Hard to believe, right? I mean, at first I thought he was screwing with me. Sure, we've met aliens and stuff, but having power to grant three wishes, and any kind of wish at that, without payment, without selling my soul or signing any contracts? All because I freed him from a box? It doesn't even sound like a fairytale, right? So," he shrugged as he turned away, unable to look at Nathan, "I just told him what I wanted."

Angry and frustrated and deeply, thoroughly disappointed, not at Lucas but at himself, but unable to channel it properly, Nathan stood up and yelled, "So you just wished whatever made your fancy?! What the hell were you thinking, Lucas! Or were you even thinking at all?!"

Glaring at Nathan, Lucas angrily replied, "I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry!" But his shoulders immediately sagged, and his eyes became mournful once again, head bowed at the weight of his three, seemingly harmless, wishes—at least, they had been, before the first two began to come true.

Nathan's own anger was replaced by grief as he watched Lucas fall apart in front of him.

"I just… It just seemed the right thing at the time," Lucas whispered, in a tone that Nathan knew meant that Lucas was deeply ashamed of himself. Lucas looked up at him after a while, the saddest smile playing on his lips, "It should've been a happy moment. There were strange readings on the sea floor so I ordered for a few WSKRS to investigate it. Captain Hudson wasn't happy, I should tell you, but I managed to persuade him to check it out. A threat wasn't imminent at the time and we were all so bored out of our minds… He agreed eventually and well, that's where we found the box," Lucas said, and then his eyes lit up nearly the same as when he excitedly used to explain his new pet projects, "It was exactly four feet all around, which is strange, right? I mean, I know we've got machines to make boxes that precise but this one, this one was ancient. I couldn't even get a good read on it when I carbon dated the thing. There was just no reference. It could've existed even before the dinosaurs, even before the first creature rose from the seas. It was amazing, Captain," then the smile completely vanished, "I was so happy, so elated at we found, at what I could discover in the future, when I realized that it wasn't my life anymore. That I wasn't the same person I was. That seaQuest itself wasn't the seaQuest I used to call home. And that everyone I cared about wasn't there with me anymore.

"I thought being on seaQuest was enough. It's why I enlisted in the first place," Lucas softly admitted, "But it wasn't. seaQuest itself wasn't home. It was in every one of you, sir."

A fact Nathan held on to when he gave up his captaincy of the seaQuest. Instead of displaying his disappointment over Lucas' decision to enlist, Nathan could've asked him why he did it. Perhaps they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Perhaps Lucas would've continued to have that mischievous spirit burning inside of him. Perhaps Nathan wouldn't be losing Lucas like this.

"That's why my first wish was, 'I wish I was sixteen again'. It was the beginning of the greatest and happiest moments of my life, short though it was and scary as hell at times, but I wanted to have that back."

Nathan sat back down this time, knowing that he wouldn't like what Lucas was about to explain next.

"And then I followed it up with, 'I wish I wasn't on seaQuest anymore', and finished with, 'I wish I didn't exist in this universe'," Lucas's faraway look told Nathan that he deeply regretted what he'd done but couldn't do anything about it anymore. This was the look that meant that Lucas had given up. Nathan remembers this one well, because Lucas had only worn it once—it was the look Lucas gave him when they parted ways: Lucas, back on seaQuest; Nathan, away from the one person left in his life that never failed to give him much, much joy.

Chucking mirthlessly, Lucas shook his head as he said, "You're right. I wasn't thinking. I mean, wishing to not exist? That's stupid, right? And it doesn't even sound cool at all. But to tell you the truth, I think I haven't been right in the head long before that. Everyone else had the courage to start living new lives and I… I was just, there. Stuck in a place that used to be home, haunted almost every day by memories of what used to be. I felt alone and forgotten and it made me so angry at everyone that I just closed off."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Lucas bit his lip as he continued, "And then I started feeling nothing. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I mean, I was good. Everybody kept telling me that. Even Hudson thought I'd be able to own my own boat in a couple of months—the youngest captain ever, he said. But," he said, sighing resignedly, "None of that really mattered, if none of you were there."

"Lucas," Nathan gently interjected, "Why didn't you tell anyone? If you told someone, anyone at all, you know we all would have dropped everything just to be with you, right?"

But Lucas just shrugged, "It didn't feel that way at the time."

And if Lucas' eyes were to be believed, then Nathan was sure the boy still felt that way.

"The wishes… I never thought he could actually make them happen," Lucas whispered, eyes pleading for Nathan to believe him.

And Nathan wanted to, he really, truly did, but, "Back then, you still wanted them to come true, didn't you?"

Lucas could only nod. "I'm a coward, and an idiot, and a selfish bastard for choosing the easy way out," said Lucas, his eyes filled with so much despair when he looked at Nathan, "And I know it doesn't make a difference now but, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Nathan had failed many, many times in his life. But this, this was proving to be his greatest failure of all. He was going to lose Lucas in four days because some being thought it was nice to repay Lucas for his freedom for three wishes. But his failure wasn't in Lucas' poor choice of wishes. It was the fact that Lucas had even entertained the idea of taking his life away, because 'nothing mattered anymore'.

Nathan could only sigh in resignation. What greater failure could there possibly be?

tbc

meh. this didn't turn out the way i wanted it to, but it still had to be done.

guest, i promise to write it till the bitter end. thank you so much for the kind words! they really made my day. i truly hope this one didn't disappoint!

and Carma3, i hope this hasn't disappointed you either!