A/N:- I'm sorry guys for not updating, but I've been on holiday and there was no internet connection. L But whilst I was away I wrote three chapters and I'm going to try and post them all today to make up for the absence of updates! ;) Enjoy!

Oh and thank you to JLG for suggesting the names!

And I keep forgetting to do this so…

Disclaimer: I Don't own Divergent or the plot or characters. Just the content that isn't speech, Mercedes and Sammy. (You'll understand when you read the chapter)

~Slightly Afraid

I wish you knew. Chapter 3

After dinner, Eric takes charge of the initiates, and I decide to head down to the training room to work on the punching bags. I find the sound of skin hitting the tough fabric relaxing and soothing; yet another reason my friends think me weird. When I reach the training room I take the key out of my pocket and unlock the door sliding swiftly and soundlessly into the room, locking the door again from the inside.

I quickly hang up one of the heavier bags and wrap up my knuckles in the gloves Zeke got me for my "Birthday". With me being from Abnegation, we didn't know my actual birthday, so Zeke, Shauna, Mercedes and I picked a date at random from a hat. (Well actually it was a glass that had previously held Zeke's pint, but still.) The date we picked was the 5th April. Weird really, it was completely coincidence, but there are 5 letters in my last name-Eaton- and my nickname is Four (4/5/-).

Once I have the black fingerless gloves on my hand I get to work, destroying the bag, taking out all my frustration from the day on the tough leather until my knuckles are bruised. I yank down the heavy punching bag and dump it in the supply cupboard and put up the lighter bags for the initiates training tomorrow. I also grab the boxes of guns and ammunition and start loading the weapons. When every gun is loaded and ready to fire, I carry them into the room next door to the training room. Mercedes and I decided to call it 'the room of noise' during our initiation, because the noise of the guns and knives deafened a transfer from Ertrude. He ended up quitting initiation and living factionless.

I look around the room and decide to just get everything ready for the first day of training. I walk to the store room where we keep the targets and the lightest punching bags along with the chalk, and grab as many targets and I can hold (which just so happens to be 6) and place them in a long line down one side of the room. I then run back to the store room, pick up 5 more targets and place 4 along with the others, but then place the fifth at the farthest end of the room. I grab a gun and walk to the farthest side of the room opposite the target I'd just placed. I raised my gun out in front of me, perfectly in line with my shoulders, but don't fire. I remember the first time I shot a gun two years ago during my own initiation, and how it made me feel free, alive

oOo

(Flashback)

I raised the black metal object in my hand for the first time in line with my shoulders and closed my left eye, lining up the barrel of the gun with the target. I pull the trigger, the recoil knocking me off balance, but the bullet hits the dead centre.

"Four? Is that really the first time you've held a gun?" Amar- my instructor- asks slightly taken aback by my accuracy. I nod and shoot again, as before the bullet hit dead centre. Everyone else had stopped shooting and was staring open mouthed at me. Who would've thought it? An Abnegation transfer, the Stiff, the best shot?

oOo

suddenly the door bursts open bringing me back into the present. I turn around to see who the intruder was. Zeke. He grabs a gun and stands next to me.

"highest score wins?" he asks grinning like a child. I return the smile and nod.

"on the count of three… 1… 2… 3!" we both fire ten times, drop the guns and sprint over towards the target. " DAMMIT FOUR! Not again! You hit the centre EVERY time! That's ten points per shot! You know what? I've decided I don't like you any more " he winks and punches me in the shoulder. I pinch him back and we end up wrestling until Shauna, Mercedes and Sammy (Shauna's older sister) burst in on us.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Shauna asks. Mercedes laughs and points to the pair of guns on the floor and the wooden target riddled with holes. "What do you think Shauna? Four won a shooting contest. Again" Sammy walks over to us and pulls Zeke of my chest. "Oh thank god for that! I thought Zeke was trying to make out with you or something!" we all start laughing and rolling around on the floor, holding our stomachs, but I cant help feeling gloomy. I don't feel complete. I start to wonder what my life would be like with Tris in it. I start to smile and the thought and Shauna smiles back, probably guessing what I'm thinking about. I mutter something about going to bed because I've got to be up early for initiation tomorrow, and Shauna makes an excuse and follows.

"Four! Come on! Who is it? Is it an Initiate?" she touches my arm and I blush and nod, speeding up. "I knew it! Who is it is it a transfer? Is it that Christina girl from Candor?" I shake my head. I know I should tell someone and Shauna is the one to tell, but how do I tell her that the girl I like is the Stiff from Abnegation?

"No it's not her. Its... someone else…" Shauna thinks for a moment.

"I seriously doubt it's that Molly girl. My dirty plate of Dauntless cake looks better than her. Hey that rhymes! Anyway, it's not Myra because she's dating that Edward guy, so that leaves the…" her eyes widen and her jaw drops. "The stiff…" she whispers it so quietly I have to really concentrate to hear her. Suddenly, her smile gets even bigger showing her perfectly straight teeth. She throws her arms around my neck and stays there for a minute. Shauna and Zeke are my best friends, and the only people I let touch me. She pulls back and looks knowingly into my eyes

"I'm happy for you four! Good look!" with that she saunters off down the hall looking for her apartment and I slip into mine.

I kick my shoes off, pull off my tee-shirt and pants, slip on the comfy sweat pants I sleep in, and climb into bed. As I fall asleep I think of Tris, and I dream of her sitting next to me in my secret spot in the Chasm, holding my hand and kissing my lips. There is nothing I've ever wanted more, than to have this scene in my future.