DMS, You keep telling yourself that. I have permanently dubbed you my minion. Tell the cookie thief to get off his lazy rear and read this and not have you tell him. Still waiting on that fluffy fic you angst writer you.

(cough cough) I should probably get back to doing my normal spiel before the chapter, but I would probably wind up repeating myself. X3 Not that it matters, but hey, who reads this part anyways? Other than my minion, which every chapter she reviews has to say she isn't. I love giving her a hard time. Oh yea, I am rambling. Ha ha!

I haven't gotten any guesses on what form of mental torment the old fox would be experience in this one, but I must say, this one will be the more, interesting of the three.

My stance is still there if there is another pre-existing story out there that I will do what is proper. Just send me a direct link. ^_~

This will be my longest chapter yet.

NOTE: If you are not that far into the Shippuden manga series of Naruto, then there is a bit of a spoiler here. Please don't kill me.

Phase Three Commence!

"Kyuubi is talking"

"Normal talking"

Thinking to one's self

"Could this be the Shinigami? Maybe it is…"

Phase Three

"'This is gold. Pure gold. I wonder if the blond gaki would like a copy of this…" He sits there eating his bowl of popcorn in front of his TV. On his screen is the Kyuubi with a rather dejected expression with tears streaming down his muzzle while executing some rather complicated movements. "Ouch, didn't know the old fox cold bend like that…" He turns and looks at a group of people who were now in the room, "Glad the five of you decided to come. Here, have some popcorn." He then hands them all their own bowls of popcorn.

A blond man looks suspiciously at the lord of death and then at the bowl of popcorn, "Not to sound rude or anything, but what exactly is going on? The last time I met you, well, you were rather annoyed with me."

"You woke me up from my nap."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Don't look at me like that. Check out the TV. You will all get a kick out of it."

A lanky silver haired man blinked, and blinked again. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, that is the Kyuubi."

An older gentleman just stared and then said, "Is that a pink leotard with a gold tutu?"

"That would be correct, Sarutobi."

A red haired woman listened to the music and asked, "Is he dancing to 'The Nutcracker?'"

The Shinigami smirks and replies, "Correct again."

The final man with long white hair was on the ground. Laughing. In between his fits of laughter he gasps out, "The gaki… sure has a… wild imagination."

"That he does. He is also very creative." He then turns to the blond haired man and says, "Did you know he managed to tweak the seal that you created to grab my attention, without actually summoning me, Minato?"

"HE DID WHAT?"

"Don't worry about it. He didn't actually summon me. That means, he didn't have to pay the price. I went because I was curious as to why one such as he would even want my attention. Turns out, he wanted to humiliate the old fox, but didn't have the power to hold the fox to anything. He figured since I powered the seal, that I might be interested, not to mention the amusement I could potentially get from seeing the prick being taken down a few notches. He guessed correct on that. Mostly because I am bored."

They all looked at him and then at the TV and start to laugh.

"It looks like he inherited your sense of humor Kushina."

"Blame it all on me huh? I bet he is as stubborn as you are when it comes to jutsu's."

"He is. He was always saying 'Teach me, teach me.' He wouldn't leave me alone until I gave him something to do."

"Is that why it took so long to come out with your last book Jiraiya-sama?"

"You and ero-sensei better not have corrupted my son, Kakashi-baka."

Jiraiya, Sarutobi and Kakashi all looked at her and deadpanned at the same time, "Your son is a pervert basher, Kushina."

"What do you mean?" asked Minato.

Sarutobi shuddered, "He created a jutsu that is capable of knocking out any strait perverted man."

Kushina looked at him, "Really? What is it?"

"You five can talk about that later. I called you here to watch an old fox's ultimate humiliation."

Kushina sighed and sat down on the couch and said, "Fair enough. Wonder what else he will do to the fox…"

---

Ibiki looks at Naruto in horror and awe.

"Well, are you just going to stand there looking at me like that, or are you going to tell me what you think?"

He continues to look at him with a new found respect mixed with the excitement of a kid told he could raid a candy store for free. "That has to be the most ingenious form of mental torture I have ever heard. What made you think of using that?"

"Have you ever been caught between them when that is going on?"

"No, can't say that I have. Not that I would want to." He shudders and looks at Naruto and smiles like a loon, "So, this is what you had planned to do to the Kyuubi?"

"Yeah. Oh, before you go, do not use this on any other prisoner until you have finished with the teme. As soon as you're done, come back and tell me how it goes. I have a feeling on how it will, but I would rather have concrete knowledge of what this will do."

"Fair enough." Ibiki squints at Naruto and asks, "I've been meaning to ask you, how do you get through paper-work so fast?"

"Go Ibiki."

Ibiki then leaves pouting.

Maybe I should look into getting one of those number deals and attach it to a flash tag for the next time someone asks me that. That way, when I say, take a number on my secret… Heh heh heh, maybe a mild shock tag would be better. Don't want to actually kill anyone…

---

One Day Later…

"Come in Ibiki."

Ibiki enters the office and stairs. "…" He then sighs and continues, "I take it there is no getting you to stop your own form of torment on the masses is there?"

"Nope. I have also found a new one. I'll tell you about that one later. First things first, how did it go?"

Ibiki grins like the cat that got the canary, "Beautifuly. Within 30 seconds he started telling us what he knew of the snake sannins hideouts, bases, labs and experiments. He also told where the remaining pockets of the akatsuki where hidden. Not to mention that he admitted his sexuality, his favorite food, and anything else that came to mind. Oh, and the fact that he likes to use strawberry bubblegum scented shampoo."

"30 seconds huh?"

"30 seconds. Right now he is curled up in the fetal position and mumbling something about cute fluffy bunnies with bazookas." (AN: I have no intention of explaining this to the masses. This is an inside joke between myself, and those who know me.)

"I suggest that this be used as a last resort."

"But…"

"No buts, Ibiki. If this can make the bastard say cute, then, well, you know, I don't even want to contemplate it."

"But…"

"As a matter of fact, you will have to get my authorization to use this Ibiki."

"But that's not fair!"

"I didn't say that you could never use it again, you just have to ask me first."

Ibiki looks at his feet like a little kid who was just told that he couldn't play with his favorite toy anymore and pouts.

"… Ibiki, please don't pout any more. It's disturbing."

"I just have to ask you first?"

"Yes."

"…"

"…"

"One more thing."

Naruto raises an eyebrow in question.

"How long does Kyuubi have to go through that?"

"A week."

"…"

"Phase three starts in one more day."

"I wish I could watch."

"Go back to work Ibiki."

He grins and says, "Yes sir!"

---

One Day Later…

"Make it stop, please, just make it stop! It hurts, it hurts so damn much!"

Kyuubi is crying. Ha! Never thought I would see the day. Time to add salt to the already open wound. Naruto continues to watch the old fox dance away. As soon as the he was forced to jump high into the air by the slippers, Naruto snapped his fingers making everything go back to the way it was before the bet started. This caused the Kyuubi to crash into the ground rather painfully.

"That hurt…" He then looks up and notices that everything had gone back to the way they were supposed to be. No more music, no more slippers, no more props, leotards and tutus. Most importantly, he had returned to how he looked before his make-over. He then turns and looks past the bars and sees a rather smug looking Naruto standing there laughing. He twitches. "I. Hate. You."

Naruto manages to calm down and replies, "Tell me something that I don't already know. So, did you have fun?"

Kyuubi just looks at him like he grew a second head, "Oh hell no."

"I am glad to hear." He looks up and smiles, "Ready for round three?"

"…"

"What, ningen got your tongue?"

"Can't I give in?"

"No. I am not done yet. You may claim to have given in, but how do I know that I have broke your will yet? You're a friggen demon. If I accept your resignation in the bet, before breaking you, you still win. I am not as stupid as I make myself out to be ass hole."

"…" The fox looks up and smirks, "I suppose you have gotten smarter over the years. However, you still won't win. As humiliating and degrading the last two weeks were, they have not broken me." He looks back down at Naruto, "You have not won yet."

"No, but I still have a week left, and a hand full of aces."

A dark aurora suddenly appeared in the seal and then materialized into what could only be one being, "Are you going to do to him what you did to the sole surviving Uchiha?"

"…" O.o (ha ha, Kyuubi is screwed)

Naruto smirks and replies, "Of course."

"Mind if I take that idea for the deepest pits of my domain?"

Kyuubi starts to sweat and scoots to the back of his cage, "Are you sure I can't back out of this?"

"You sealed your bet in blood Kyuubi. I am leaving now. Remember Fox I a watching. You try to get out of this last week early, and the mortal here wins by default. Oh and before I forget, I am making a recording of this. In return for snitching your idea of torment, you will get a copy of what occurred in here."

"Sweet." Naruto looks back at the Shinigami and asks, "You've already tested it haven't you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I tried it on a few of my more, evil residents. They lasted about ten seconds. Your Uchiha pet (AN: Bad joke intended) lasted longer."

Naruto laughs and turns to the Kyuubi, "I hope you're ready for round three bunny-chan."

"As amusing as it is to stay here and make the fox sweat, I am going back to my TV to finish recording what occurs in here. I will return to confirm the bet when this week is up. As well as give you a copy of my recording of this. I must thank you by the way. This whole bet of yours has been quite entertaining. Good bye for now."

Naruto rubs his hands together in anticipation and smiles at the old bijuu. He closes his eyes in concentration and pulling on his own memories to make sure that he gets everything right. All the way down to the smallest detail.

Kyuubi notices that the air starts to shimmer in his cage. The next thing he knows is that there is a sunset over the ocean in his cage and that he is standing on a cliff. He also notices to large shadowed figures in his cage with him. He then looks down at Naruto, "This is supposed to scare me how?"

Naruto opens his eyes to look back at him, "Who said I was done yet?" He then closes his eyes again and goes back to concentrating.

The next thing that the bijuu noticed was that he was wearing a full body green spandex suit with orange legwarmers. His eye twitches and he looks back at the human in front of him, "What is this?"

"Oh, you don't like it? But I thought it would help you out with getting to know your two new room-mates."

"And who would that be?" Kyuubi asked with a sinking fealing.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

The two shadowed figures revealed themselves to be Lee and Gai. Unfortunately for the old fox, the two eccentric taijutsu masters were not wearing their normal attire. They were wearing green speedos. He then proceeded to have a full body twitch and his tails bushed out. "Oh Fucking HELL NOOOOO!!!!!!"

"Oh yes Kyuubi. You get to experience the joys of YOUTH! Buh bye now!"

Kyuubi just stood there in shock at the spot that Naruto just disappeared from. He then looked at the youthful beasts of Konoha. The next thing he knew he was glomped on both sides by happily crying grown men screaming about youth and how it is an honor that he decided to join them in spreading the flames of youth. (AN: Gag, I hate typing youthful crap.)

"KILL ME NOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!"

"BUT THAT WOULD BE SO UNYOUTHFUL!"

---

Six Days Later…

I hate rain. Especially winter rain. At least I finally got today's paper work done. Ah, someone comes to visit little o' me. "Come in Gaara."

The door opens, "Fun isn't it."

"That it is. That it is my friend. To what do I owe this visit?"

"Bored. I also heard that you have a bet going on. With the Kyuubi at that. So what insanity have you been up to now?"

"Oh a little of this and that. If you really want to know I have been informed that I will be getting a copy of everything that the old fox has been going through."

"Really? How is that being pulled off since I know for a fact that the fox is in the seal and you can't get a recording device in there."

"Oh, apparently due the fact that I have given the shinigami some very interesting entertainment, he offered to give me a copy of his personal recording of it."

"…"

"What?"

"You've talked with the shinigami and are still alive?"

"Would I be here if I wasn't?"

"With you, we can never tell."

"…" Naruto sighs and looks at the ceiling, "I am very much alive Gaara."

"If you say so. So what was the bet about?"

"That if I could break his will that he would stop screwing with my control."

"Huh. And how do you plan on keeping the Kyuubi to his end?"

"That's where the shinigami comes in."

"Do I want to know how you got his attention?"

"It has to do with a summoning seal and a bunch of stuff that would take too long to explain."

"Uh huh. So when do you get the recording?"

"When everything is said and done. Why, you want to see it?"

"I think just about everyone would want to see it."

"If you don't mind sticking around for another day or so, you'll get your chance."

Gaara looks out the window of Naruto's office, "I think I will. I don't care for traveling in the rain anyways."

Naruto smirks and says, "Fair enough my friend, fair enough."

---

Meh, not sure I like how this chapter turned out. Oh well. Life stinks like that. Wasn't too sure how I wanted to approach this chapter anyways. I think the ending sucks. But no one asked me. So yeah.

I also noticed that I have spelled a particular name wrong in previous chapters. I am too lazy to go back and fix it. So sue me for nonexistent pennies. Hah!

One more chapter to go.

Review or flame away. Just something more than a line would be nice.

Psycoticat out.