Part 3

"You didn't come in last night." I heard Jean's voice. I was standing just outside Scott's office, the door was slightly ajar, I thought maybe for me, he liked people to knock when they came to see him. I had convinced myself that it was pretentiousness on his part, but maybe it was just the need to be alone. I had been about to rap softly when she spoke. I stopped, withdrew my hand, and stood stock still for a moment, trying to decide what to do. I should have walked away, but I didn't, I was so going to hell. I stepped back from the door and flattened myself against the wall, the wainscoting digging into the small of my back. I needed to know what he was going to say to her.

"No, I ended up working late. I just slept here in the office." He sounded sincere. I had no idea how he could lie to a telepath, but I supposed they must have set some boundaries early on, that she wouldn't just drop into his thoughts unbidden. I had no such bargain with her, and probably should have thought a lot harder about keeping my distance.

"What were you working on?"

"I was thinking about redoing the office."

"That sounds like a good idea, maybe something less formal, maybe more rustic?"

Even I could figure out where that suggestion had come from: Logan's bedroom, with its pine bed and barn board. It was a ridiculous notion for Scott's space. His response belied the truth of his feelings.

"Well, I'll have a look when I go into town today. I have a list of stores made up to see." I knew he had absolutely no intention of purchasing anything of the sort. But I was impressed with how smooth the lies had come, and how very believable they had been. Doubt scored another point. I had to walk away. I headed down to the kitchen to get a coffee, feeling sick to my stomach, and unable to eavesdrop any longer. Of course Logan had to be there, searching for the same thing as me.

It had been one thing to look at him and know that I wasn't the only woman he was sleeping with; that choice had been made with my eyes opened. But to look at him now, and know it was Jean, well, it didn't help the sick feeling in my stomach any. Not that I had any right to stand 'holier than thou' in front of him. Sleeping with Scott had put me in the same moral basket, but part of me was trying to find justification in the fact that his marriage had been broken before I got to him. Only I knew that God didn't likely deal in semantics. Of course God and I hadn't been on good terms in awhile anyways. Any being that could somehow find justification for ending the life of Charles Xavier wasn't good or benevolent in my books. As I said, I was going to hell anyways; if the devil would even have me, I supposed.

I nodded at Logan as I poured sugar into my coffee. "You make the pot?"

"Yup."

I reached for the cream to cut the espresso-like consistency I knew was to come. Cream made it more palatable. I joined him at a table by one of the full windows that looked out over the grounds, more out of habit than anything else. By now people seemed to expect to see us together: two brooding X-Men, more absorbed in self-pity than anything else. Though I supposed that it wasn't fair to lump my grief in with Logan's nature. He'd always been a bit unapproachable, it had taken ages for him to warm up to me I recalled. It took time to earn his trust, though once you had it, it was a powerful force. It had been loyalty to Xavier that had kept him with the X-Men all these years, and now possibly, only the hope of Jean that kept him. I didn't suppose I fit in there anywhere, except for a distracting tumble, but I was having a very negative day pissing on myself for everything, and I was hardly in the position to judge anyone's motives. Apparently I had Logan pegged wrong.

"I went to find you last night Rogue, couldn't find you anywhere."

"Sorry Loan, I had some things to sort out, did I forget about us getting together?"

"No, I just got to thinkin' bout you, and thought maybe you'd like to get out for awhile."

"Sorry."

"No worries darlin' I just ended up taking my bike out for a run."

"Sounds like it would have been fun."

"We could try tonight, weather looks reasonable."

"Yeah, I'll try to find you later if I don't get bogged down with too much crap."

I took the time to really look at Logan as his eyes fell to his coffee. What did I really expect from him now? What had I expected before? His eyes came up to catch me examining him. All I could see was him holding Jean at that moment, and kissing her, and wanting her, I shook my head to clear the images; what right did I have? He smiled at me, enjoying, no doubt, my thoughtful gaze on him. He was probably thinking something very different than I was thinking, but even that sent a shudder across my chest. Damn the animal.

"What's going on in your head Rogue?"

"I'm just trying to sort out what I need to do now Logan." My smile was feeble at best. "I finally had it out with Scott last night."

"Didn't go so well?"

"It wasn't what I had expected." Ok, that was the truth, and then it got dodgy.

"You didn't hurt him did you?"

I laughed, I knew he wasn't serious, but he had heard me rant about Scott's attitude enough in the last few months: and he had heard me threaten to take him down a notch; or something like that, depending on my state of inebriation at the time.

"I think we've come to an understanding."

"How so?"

My mind raced over all the hateful things he had said to me the night before, before the other thing had happened. We had exchanged some pretty heated curses at each other. And then, after, he had asked me not to sleep with Logan any more. What a muddle.

"Well, I don't think he'll be calling me a whore to my face any longer." At least I hoped he wouldn't. Logan nearly dropped his coffee mug at that revelation.

"He called you a what?!" Logan was baring his teeth with that question; I was actually surprised that he seemed to be coming to my defense. It was a good thing we were alone.

"It doesn't matter Logan, don't worry about it." I should have just kept my mouth shut, but it seemed I was bound and determined to test out the depth of all my relationships through conflict right then.

"Where the hell does he get off calling you that?"

I looked right at him, with one eyebrow cocked up as if to say, 'hey, remember the obvious?'.

"You and me?"

I nodded.

"What business is it of his?"

"It doesn't matter Logan." I repeated.

"You want me to talk to him?"

"No." Most certainly not my dear man, what a way to step up a bloodbath that no one would soon recover from. "We have an understanding now."

It took a few minutes for Logan's shoulders to relax and for him to come down from his anticipatory posture. I tried to change the subject.

"So what about you Logan, have you decided about going yet?"

"Pretty much, a few more things to wrap up around here and then I think I'll head out." I wondered what or who those few things could be, but I really did try not to speculate. Really I did.

"Maybe you should come with me? Be my second in command; we've always worked well together you an' me Rogue." Now it was my turn to nearly drop my coffee mug.

"Pardon?"

"I'll have my own team to lead, but I could sure use a second that I could trust from day one."

I was speechless, but my mind was going a million miles a minute. Why would he ask me? If he were in some kind of relationship with Jean, why wouldn't he ask her? He'd been pining for Jean for as long as I had known him. Now it would seem that he had her, why would he think of leaving her behind for me? Or maybe he intended to bring us both along. I wondered how she felt about me, if Scott knew Logan and I were sleeping together, surely Jean did. I was so confused. Logan took my silence for thought.

"Think about it will you?" I nodded, god my life was getting interesting all of a sudden. And to make it even more interesting, at the moment I was staring at Logan like a squirrel caught in the headlamps of a car, Scott came into the room. Logan's low growl and shifting eyes told me who it was before I turned my head. I put a hand out to cover his claws, a subtle way of ensuring that he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Down boy." I whispered to him as I stood to go and meet Scott. He had stopped his advance into the room at the sight of Logan and I. The look on his face wasn't really angry though, he didn't even make eye contact with Logan, but chose to fix a benign face on me. I smiled at him.

"Am I interrupting something Rogue?" His voice was all business.

"Nope, are you ready to go?" I asked that part more quietly, but Logan probably heard me anyways.

"If you still want to."

"Of course." Then I had to screw up my face as Logan called out over the length of the room.

"So I'll see you tonight? And think about what I said."

I could have slammed my own fist into my forehead; I know exactly why he did it, to rattle Scott, to make him believe that we were planning on having sex tonight. Even if he didn't understand the real effect the words would have on Scott, it was male testosterone petty.

"Good bye Logan." I called back over my shoulder, not shifting my gaze from Scott. And I walked out of the room, Scott right behind me.