A/N: LOOKING FOR A BETA!
Today did not start off as a good day for Noah Puckerman.
First the thing in the morning his phone rings, his house phone is loud as fuck, but Puck covers his head with a pillow drowning out the noise and decides to let the voicemail pick it up. Whoever it is can call back later.
"Noah!" Shit, only one person calls him that, "It's your mother!" Puck hops out of bed like a lightning bolt, reaching clumsily around for his phone only for the friggen thing to be knocked to the ground, Puck tries to grab the damn thing only to fall down on the hard floor.
"Fucking Christ!" Puck groans in pain, rolls over on his stomach and clicks the phone on. "Yeah, ma." Puck says and reads the time on his digital clock, 11:30 in the morning, What the fuck, ma? You know I had a gig last night and tonight so I need my energy!
It's the same-o same-o, when is he going to get a real job, when is he going to get married. Well sorry mom, Puck thinks, but I do have a real job and it's called rocking out! And why get married when he can tap hot groupies at every show? Puck doesn't have a death wish so he doesn't say as much to his mother.
"Well, I have good news, Noah! I just found you a wonderful Jewish girl for you!"
A blind date?
That his mother hooked him up with?
Puck's morning just went from crappy to sucktastic.
"Ma!" Puck tries to protest but his mother uses her no nonsense voice "I've known her fathers for years. She's a very sweet, smart, Jewish, and you're going!"
"Sorry ma, I'm not going to be in town, I have a gig... in Toronto, that's in Canada."
"No you don't! You promised me you're free this weekend to come home."
The old guilt trip, his mom is a master at it.
"Okay, but I'm not going on no blind date."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes-"
Puck grabs a loss candy wrapper on the floor next to his trash can and starts wiggiling it into the phone," Ma... I think... it-it's breaking up.. call you back later!"
"Noah!"
He leaves the phone off the hook and his bed never felt better.
Just last night Puck's life was full of excitement and hot groupies flashing their goodies at him and his band. But today his day is full of a long ass boring car ride back home to Lima.
Going home was always a bittersweet expeirence for Puck, he missed his family and all that shit, but Lima is and will always be, a lame ass town
Throughout the twelve hours his mom is calling back to back to back. Apparently his little sister has a "boyfriend" now, well he will just have to fix that when he comes home.
It was Sam, the guitar player of his rock band Jericho, who had the bright idea to stop in the middle of the nowhere Arkansas and get some lunch when they pulled up to a little Mexican restaurant.
Puck could tell the place was seedy an there was a cockroach the size of his thumb crawling on the dusty worn floor. But Puck is hungry enough not to give a damn.
But after an hour later of being trapped in a little shit-wagon van going through the baron lands of Arizona with no rest stops in sight, packed like sardines with three other dudes who ate the same chimichangas as he did, from the same flea bag restaurant as he did and nothing but one small tiny window as the only means of ventilation. Puck wants nothing more than to be back in Lima again in his old room.
Thank God there was a rest stop as soon as they hit Kentucky and Matt, the bassist of the group knew a short cut through Kentucky so they were in Lima by night fall.
Puck was drained, literally dead tired as he treaded the his house to greeting his mom and waled to his old bedroom ready to pass out on his comfy familiar bed for a few hours or maybe a day when-.
"Ma! What the Hell happened to my room?!"
"Noah, you know how I feel about foul language in the house!" His mom said walking from the other room to scold him.
"Who the fuck is these gay lords and what are the fuck are their posters doing doing hanging up on my wall?! What the hell happened to my Led Zeppelin posters?!" Puck said tearing down the posters and searching for his old ones.
"Noah!" His mother remarked reaching down to pick up the poster and placing them where they were before, "It's some boy band 2 directions or something, your sister happens to be a very big fan."
"Great than put their posters up in her room!"
"This is her room."
"What?!" Puck shouted.
"Your sister wanted a bigger room and you were always on the road."
"Great mom." Puck said running his hand in frushration through his strip of dark brown hair, "That's just great. So my stuff is in Kaitlin's room." Puck said beginning to walk down the hallway.
"About that..." Mrs. Puckerman said following her son down the hallway. Puck opened the door to his sister's old room and turned back around to look disbelieving at his mother. "Don't look at me like that, you know how long I've been wanting somewhere to put my exersise equipment."
"Mom, where's all my stuff?!"
"I donated it to a good cause!"
"You kicked me out!"
"You never come home, Noah! Besides, you don't have any time to mope around, you have a date to get ready for!"
"Oh, Hell no! I've just played a gig last night, spent ate hours on the road, and ate bad . The only place I'm going tonight is on the couch."
"You are going Noah I already talked it over with her parents." His mother said in her "no nonsense" voice, "I'm sure you are not used to nice Jewish girls like Rachel Berry on the road with groupies throwing their underwears at you but you are going!" Mrs. Puckerman said pushing her eldest child into the bathroom.
"But ma! I'm tired!"
"Then take a cold shower to wake yourself up, I already bought and laid some clothes for your date!"
"Hey where is Kaitlin, that lil' munchkin can't you set her up with someone? Not me."
Mrs. Puckerman smiled "Your sister, may I inform you, is currently going on date with a very nice boy-"
"Where are they at, I'll kill him." Puck said reac hing for his shoes.
"Oh no, no no! You are not doing anything but hopping in that shower, mister! And your sister is going out with a very nice young gentleman, who is the Rabbi's son."
"I don't care who he is! He is dead when I see him!"
Finally Noah's mother managed to shove him into the bathroom and locked the door from the outside smiling triumphitaly and clasping her hands together. "Make sure to scrub behind the ears, Noah!"
Puck was practically shoved outside by his mother.
"I need the keys!" Puck shouted from the outside of the door pounding on it until his mother opened the door a crack and threw the keys at him.
"Be safe! That means no joyriding and no running into an ATM with my car again!"
"Really?! That was when I was 17! Way to hold a grudge, ma. And last time I checked it was my car!"
After making chunk change with his band for a year or two, his band was finally was becoming slowly successful and the first thing Puck bought with his first big gig money was his dream car. A brand new, sleek black Corvette, which wasn't the most practical decision considering he's always on the road with his band, which is why he left it with his mother. At first his mother complained about how much it must have cost, (which made no sense to Puck, its not like she paid for it) and how dangerous she hard sports cars were but Kaitlin informed him how much his mother has been secretly enjoying the car.
Puck slid into the leather of his car for the first time in a year and drummed his fingers against the wheel. He looked down and noticed a slip of paper folded into a little square sitting innocently enough on the passenger seat, the note addressed to him in his mother's handwriting. Puck sighed and leaned over to grab the lined paper and read the instructions to the house and threats if her dads, dads? WTF? Mentioned to her at the synagogue if he failed to show up. Puck groaned and hit his head on the wheel.
The drive to the Berry's house wasn't that far and Puck almost missed the little white house at the corner of the sleepy street.
"Oh shit," Puck said coming to a halt and sloppily parked on the other side of the road. Puck looking at the two story house sighing, the last time his mother tried to hook him up it was with Jacob Ben Israel's sister who shared his overbite, beady eyes but with a unibrow. Puck shivered thinking about it, Might as well get this over with now, he thought hopping out the car and walking up the lawn to ring on the doorbell.
"Please Lord, let her be hot, let her be hot." Puck silently prayed as he waited for someone to answer the door.
"Noah Puckerman, well I haven't seen you since you were this tall!" Mr. Berry said opening the door and patting him on the back. Puck nodded his head even though he didn't remember this dude at all.
"Rachel should be coming down any minute now. So what do you do?"
"I'm the guitar player for a band me and my bros put together, called Jericho, yeah we're kind of a big deal." Puck said after shaking the older man's hand making small as he waited for his "date" to come down.
Someone cleared their throat and Puck turned around to get his first look at his "date".
Well, least this one doesn't have a unibrow, was the first thought to enter Puck's mind.
But a knit sweater, knee length skirt and plain boring flats, did his mother set him up with a nun?! But, her face was pretty cute, Puck smiled and tilted his head up "Sup?", about to introduce himself when Rachel eyes went huge and she lifted up a finger at him.
What the fuck? Puck thought raising his eyebrows, what is she doing? He wondered as he lifted up his own finger at her and nodded his head, like he knew what the hell she meant.
Puck watched as his date turned and ran back up the stairs, above him he heard a door being slammed closed behind her and her quick footsteps as she rifled through her things and he could only think.
What the hell did mom just get me into?!
A/N: Please review,
pretty please?
Next chapter is their date!