A/N: Hello! Sorry for the lack of updates! I was seriously sick last weekend, so I couldn't even LOOK at a screen, or keep my eyes open. But now I'm back!...with more depressing stuff...dang it.

Here is chapter 3 of Shattered!

I OWN NOTHING!

Enjoy!

The trip down the stairs of this old house was pretty tricky. My right leg was throbbing painfully, and if I dared put even a little bit of weight on it, it would start to hurt like crazy. But lucky for me, I had three little brothers to lean on as they helped me down one step at a time. Raph was on my left, draping my arm over his shoulders and pressing his free hand against my back. Mikey was behind me, and he wouldn't let go of my hand even as I draped it around Raph's shoulder. Donnie was on my right, wrapping my other arm around his shoulders as well as we steadily walked to the bottom of the staircase. I never thought a simple trip down the stairs would be so hard.

I was finally about to ask where we were exactly, but then another familiar face caught my attention as we entered the living room.

It was April.

Her blue eyes were wide and overflowing with tears as she stared at me, and her hand trembled as she brought it up to cover her mouth. I hadn't seen April cry in a while, and it admittedly startled me, but instead I gave her a small, reassuring smile. "Hey, April," I said, my voice still pretty weak from lack of use. But that was all it took before April crossed the room and wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight hug.

As she buried her face into the crook of my neck, I could feel her tears flow as she sniffed. Releasing my arm from around Donnie's shoulder, I held her close, letting her have her moment.

"…thank god you're back, Leo," she murmured into my shoulder.

"…it's good to be back, April. Believe me," I replied honestly, tightening my hold around her even though it pulled at my bruises a bit, but I didn't care. I was just really, really happy to see her again after…

…actually, how long had it been since I've seen her? A few days or weeks possibly?

"Hey, Leo!" called another oh-so familiar voice from the kitchen as he came out to greet me, and as April and I reluctantly parted, my smile grew upon seeing the tall, gapped toothed human, Casey Jones himself. He approached me, and slapped a hand on my shoulder as he grinned down at me. It hurt a bit, and my left eye twitched as I let out a wince, but at least I managed to keep upright. "Great to see you again, buddy!" he cheered.

I smiled. "Good to see you too, Casey."

His expression twisted into confusion the sound of my voice, and I probably would've laughed, but I was in desperate need to sit down and take some weight off my throbbing leg. My brothers must have sensed my discomfort as they carefully moved me over to sit on the couch. I let out a breath of relief as I finally sat down, and I winced again as I felt my whole body start to ache. Damn, what did they do to me? Either it was my injuries, or it was that fact that I was stiff from not moving for so long…despite still not knowing how long I've been out for.

"I should inspect your vitals, Leo. Just to make sure that everything's okay," Donnie advised as he walked out of the living room and it the kitchen. I kinda missed that 'Doctor Donnie' voice he always used to use whenever we got hurt after patrol; it felt pretty good to hear it again, but I knew that the patronizing would come next.

Raph sat down in the arm chair on my left, and April stood between us, wiping away the tears from her eyes. Mikey quickly took a seat on my right, beaming up at me as he crossed his legs on the couch and rocked slightly. I couldn't help but chuckle as I reached out and rubbed his head affectionately, just like I used to do. "You don't have to keep staring at me like I'm gonna disappear, Mikey," I told him gently. "I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon, little brother."

Mikey frowned, his shoulders hunching as he looked down at his feet just as Donnie came back with the first-aid kit. "…well, yeah, I know that, but…we really missed you, Leo," he said, brightening up a little as he spread his arms out like he was about to hug me again. "We missed you like you wouldn't believe!"

"Mikey, please try not to hug him too much right now, okay?" Donnie cautioned, taking out his stethoscope and placing it over my chest, nodding to himself every once in a while. "Remember, leaving him in the water may have helped in healing him, but he's still in very poor condition. No roughing him up."

Pouting like a child, Mikey sat back into the couch, crossing his arms. "But he was in there for three months, dude! You'd think everything would have healed already –"

My eyes shot wide open. "Wait, what?!" I cried, gaining the attention of everyone as they all looked at me in alarm from my outburst.

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard…I was in that bathtub, and that dark, terrifying abyss, for that long? How could that be?

I shook my head as I let out a breath, remembering that Donnie was still checking my heart as I forced myself to calm down. "…so we've been here for three months?" I repeated, still unable to fully grasp this. "I've been out that long?"

Nodding sadly, April laid her hand softly on my shoulder. "You had us worried sick, Leo," she said, and then gestured Raph with her other hand. "Raph barely slept."

Raph rolled his eyes and waved her off. "Ah, it was nothing," he scoffed.

But he and I both knew that wasn't the case. And I couldn't restrain the burst of pride for my younger brother; he'd stayed by my side for all that time, losing sleep…and it was all for me. Still, there was a pang of regret in knowing that as well. I worried them all so much…

And then I realized as Donnie quickly took my wrist and bent it back and forth experimentally that I wasn't just knocked out. No, it was worse than that. For three whole months, I was in a coma.

What the Foot Bots, the Shredder and his henchmen did to me was bad enough to put me in a damn coma.

"So, like, why does he sound different?" Casey asked no one in particular, and I made a face. I knew that someone was going to ask about that sooner or later, though I thought Mikey would have said something already. Maybe his excitement made him overlook it, or he just didn't want to offend me.

Taking the stethoscope from off my chest, Donnie looked up at me with a twinge of sadness in his eyes. "He sustained damage to his throat," he answered as he put the stethoscope back in the first-aid box and rummaged through for something else, "…and pretty much everywhere else for that matter…"

As if on cue, I felt a surge of pain run through my left arm, and I let out a hiss and groan as I pitched forwards. From the corner of my eye, I saw Raph nearly get up from his seat as he watched me with a worried gaze. Damn it, first my leg, then my throat, and now my arm? What's next, my freaking eyes? I seriously hoped not. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I went blind now.

Donnie quickly took out a glowing vial of green liquid and a spoon from the first-aid box, taking of the cork as he poured the stuff into the spoon. Wait a second…was that mutagen? Where did he even get that stuff out here? And why would he want to give it to me?!

"Here, have some of my special patented mutagen medicine," he offered, holding the spoon out to me as he smiled reassuringly. "You'll be healed in no time."

I found myself, once again, totally baffled by my younger brother. He managed to make a medicine out of that? Well, I couldn't really argue with Donnie's logic at this point…well, not again, anyways. If he said it was safe, I was just going to have to believe him. So I allowed him to give me the medicine…

And as soon as I swallowed it, I immediately wanted to throw it right back up again.

"Ugh!" I gagged, cringing as I held my stomach and shuddered, "it tastes like sh–"

I stopped abruptly and glanced at Mikey. Nope, can't say that in front of him.

"…it tastes like it's supposed to come out of me, not go into me," I said instead, though it was still pretty crude. But it was true, that stuff did taste like…well, what we used to have before we discovered pizza.

Raph was suddenly beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into a half-hug. "First thing tomorrow, we're gonna start training again, you and me," he alleged, thumping me in the chest lightly with his fist, though it still nearly knocked the wind out of me. "I'll have you on your feet in no time, bro."

As he smiled at me, I smiled back. He knew how much I loved training back then, and I knew how much he wanted me to get better again. But with the way I was now, barely able to stand on my own, and with just about every single muscle in my body still aching with a vengeance, I just hoped I could still do it.

I had to. Somehow.

Later that night, after Donnie finished looking me over, he had me escorted first class to one of the spare bedrooms upstairs to rest (and by 'first class', he meant having Raph carry me on his shell like we had done when we were kids, walking all the way up the flight of stairs and only stumbling once or twice in the process). The room was a decent size with a bed and a chest of drawers, basically all the essentials you would need in a normal room. And damn, the bed was so comfortable, almost like sleeping on a cloud.

Though it made me miss my old room a little, but I didn't dare mention that out loud. In fact, there were a lot of things that I hadn't mentioned, like what had happened to April's dad. Or what happened to Master Splinter.

Those questions could wait until tomorrow. I knew they would want to hide it from me, but I wouldn't let them.

I had to know what had happened to my father.

Once Raph sent me down on the bed, I was already so worn out that I pretty much passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. Though I did feel the thick blanket be draped over my still form, and Raph's gentle hand pat me softly on the head before he left, whispering something along the lines of "sleep well, big brother," before the door closed, and I was left alone again.

But not for long, of course.

My sleep had been dreamless. I didn't know how late or how early it was, or how long I had been asleep for, when I was suddenly awoken again by the sound of the door slowly creaking open. My body tensed out of old instinct, and I didn't dare to open my eyes as the intruder shut the door behind them and walked towards me.

"…Leo? You awake?" he whispered.

With my eyes still closed, I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face. "No," I whispered back.

I heard Mikey giggle at that, and I finally cracked my eye open to find him perched at the foot of my bed, staring at me with wide, baby blue eyes that seemed to glow in the dark like a star. He didn't say anything else for several minutes, simply fidgeting idly, but I knew exactly what he was here for. He was still worried for me. He wanted to make sure that this was really happening, that I was really awake now and that I wasn't going anywhere again.

It was to be expected, though. After all, he was the last one to see me before I…

I let out a soft breath. I knew he was scared, and admittedly, so was I; after so long of being alone in that dark, cold abyss that I couldn't escape, I needed to be with my family, more so than ever before. Without them near, I felt as though I was slowly being drawn back into that darkness again, only once it had me, I would never come out again.

The thought of being alone again, leaving my family behind, terrified me to my very core. I just came back to them…I couldn't leave them, not again…

I had already passed out before Raph left me here, so my fear hadn't exactly made itself known. But Mikey made me realize just how afraid I was of the darkness surrounding me, trying to devour me whilst I slept unaware…

And Mikey must have known that, otherwise he wouldn't still be here. He and I shared a strange connection at times, where we would instantly know if one of us was afraid or upset by something. I'd always thought it was that odd baby brother and big brother connection that often occurred, but now I realized…it was something more than that.

Without a word, I shuffled to the side of the bed, making more room for my little brother as he willingly, and eagerly, crawled next to me and covered us both with the blanket before snuggling against me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight but careful hug. As he nuzzled his head underneath my chin, I wrapped my arms around him in turn, resting my cheek atop his head and closing my eyes.

"…I missed you, Leo…" I heard him mumble against me.

I tightened my hold around him. "…I know. I missed you too," I whispered to him. "…and Mikey? Thanks. I…I needed this."

Mikey let out a faint, tired laugh. "I knew that, dude. Why did you think I came in here? We all need this, big brother."

Letting out a yawn, I nodded drowsily. "I guess that's true," I said as sleep began to take me over once again. Though the darkness was still there, I wasn't as afraid as I had been. I had my brother with me now, keeping me safe and warm from the dark. I knew that with him by my side, I was protected. I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Michelangelo would make sure of that.

The next morning, I awoke to the sunlight gleaming through the window, the sound of birds chirping outside…and a three part chorus of snoring?

Confused, I finally cracked my eyes open, and looked down to find that Mikey was still there by my side. He hadn't moved an inch since last night. So then why did I feel another presence behind my shell?

I craned my neck to glance behind me, and I found the owner of the loudest snore. It was Raphael, hugging me from behind with his cheek pressed against my shell. I smiled and rolled my eyes. Of course he would come in here after Mikey did. After all, he had been the one to watch over me during those three months. He must have thought that even though he knew I was going to be fine (or at least I hoped I was going to be fine) he figured that his job wasn't done yet.

I didn't resent it, though. I was more than happy to have him, even if he was crushing me a little bit.

And I had a pretty good idea of who was pillowing their head on my foot at the end of the bed. Sure enough as I looked over Mikey, I could see Donnie with his arms crossed beneath his head on my feet. And I realized as I saw the way his body was angled across the bed that his feet were resting on top of Raph's shell, meaning the poor guy had to squeeze himself onto the already crowded bed. I found myself smiling a little wider. He was just as concerned for me as the others were…

My smile faded a little. He must still be blaming himself for what happened. I remembered his voice whilst I was in that abyss…

"I'm sorry, Leo. You were right. If we'd just left the city when you said, the Kraang would never have found the Lair and started the invasion…none of this would've happened."

I wanted to reach out to my brother, to pat him on the head or even hug him, just to show him that he had done nothing wrong…that it was my fault that I hadn't been there for them, and instead had gotten myself separated from them all, and ended up in a coma for three months because of my ego, my weakness…

But my arms were pretty much pinned to my sides with Raph and Mikey clinging onto me like a couple of panda bears.

And worse, I couldn't feel my feet anymore.

"Come on, Leo! You gotta build up those muscles! You've gotten super weak!" Raph called as he walked ahead of me, reaching the edge of the creak before I had even made it through the bushes.

I grunted in mild annoyance in response. "Don't…rub it in," I muttered crossly.

After I had managed to wake my brothers up and get them off of me before I lost all feeling in my legs completely, the guys groggily helped me down the stairs again, where we were all greeted brightly by April, who was up long before us preparing breakfast. Usually Mikey was the one who made breakfast, but this time April beat him to it, not that he or the rest of us really complained.

We happened to be served with crispy bacon with cereal and juice on the side. But as soon as I saw the food, I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it in for too long. In fact, just looking at it made me want to hurl again. But I had to, for their sakes, and for my own if I even hoped to get any better. And it was pretty good, I had to admit, but I really had to force it down. And it only made matters worse when Donnie had me take more of that medicine he made me, which still tasted like splodge.

Though it made me chuckle a bit when I saw the label he'd written on it; 'Leo's Elixir'. It was silly, but it had a nice ring to it.

After breakfast, the guys explained to me that we were in April's old farmhouse upstate, far away from the city. I didn't have to ask what happened, because it was pretty obvious.

The Kraang had taken over. We lost the fight. We lost our homes.

But what about our father? Was he okay? Was he waiting for us, hidden somewhere safe from the Kraang?

Before I could finally ask, Casey suddenly came into the living room, looking a little on the scruffy side. He looked as if he'd been in the barn all night, with bits of hay sticking out of his hair and his clothes, and his face was pretty dirty as well. His entire appearance had grabbed April's attention as she sent him a glare, telling us all that she was less than pleased with him walking into the house that dirty. However, I was drawn to what he was holding in his hands. It was a long, wooden crutch.

He shrugged at me as he offered me my little 'gift', and I took it from him. "Hey, it's not much, but I figured it's better than being carried by Raph all the time," he chuckled, and brought up his arm to shield his face from Raph's hand as he swiped at him. "And besides, Raph said that you and him were gonna start training. You'll have to be on your feet first, don't you think?"

After gazing down at the cane, I looked back up at Casey and smiled softly. "Thanks, Casey. I appreciate it, really," I said, and he smiled back at me.

In truth, the crutch did help a lot; I was able to stand upright on my own for the first time, though it still hurt to stand at all. Even so, as I followed Raph outside the house and into the woods, I found myself feeling more downcast than before.

I wasn't walking with Raph, I was hobbling after him, like a weak, crippled old man trying his best to keep up with his grandchild. And in truth, that's exactly what I felt like. I felt old, I felt tired, and I felt weak.

But I had to at least try to get better. I couldn't let them down again by not being strong enough. We had to get back to the city. We had to find Master Splinter…

As I continued after Raph, my foot slipped against the wet grass, and I let out a cry as I fell to the ground, landing on my backside. My right leg began to throb again, and I let out another hiss of pain as I clutched me knee. Looking up, I saw that Raph was staring down at me with a look that, at that moment, I really hated. But I knew I deserved it.

It was pity.

"…I don't think I'm…" I began lowly, looking down at the grass as I finally confessed, "…I don't think I'm ever gonna be the same again…"

And it was true. I was just kidding myself the whole time. If I couldn't even limp without falling over, then there was no way I was going to get better…

"Don't talk like that!" Raph barked at me as I finally tore my eyes up from the grass and looked up to witness the defiance in his expression. "That's not the Leo I know! Now come on! Let's cross this creek!" he encouraged.

He was trying his best to convince me, I knew that, but as I stood up again, grunting with effort and pain, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the waters below me, and I frowned deeply.

What I saw wasn't the same ninja turtle I thought I'd been over two years ago. That young turtle had dreamed of being a strong, proud leader like his cartoon idol Captain Ryan, and becoming a great ninja warrior that could fight side by side with his brothers. He'd dreamed of being just like his father, and to make him proud one day.

Now though, that turtle was gone. Now there was a strange, mask-less mutant staring back at me with a pair of dim, pain filled blue eyes, unable to even walk in a straight line anymore, let alone fight.

That was what I'd become. I was just too weak, too crippled…too broken to pick up my shattered pieces from off the ground and build myself back up again. That's all I was.

I was just a broken child with broken dreams.

I lurched forward as I put too much pressure on my leg again, groaning in pain. This was pathetic. Even if I wasn't going to be the same ninja I had been, I had to find a way to at least ease the physical pain, if not the mental pain. So I dug into my belt pocket and took out my Elixir, unscrewing the cork and taking a swig of it, still cringing at the taste as I sealed it again.

That was a big mistake, which I realized too late as my vision began to swim. I could just make out Raph's voice calling out to me, but his voice sounded lower than usual and distorted. As I brought up the vile of Elixir to my face, my eyes widened. It was only a few minutes since I'd taken my medicine, when Donnie had advised me to only take it every four hours.

I'd just overdosed with mutagen.

"Oh man," I slurred with dread, the bottle slipping from my numbed grip, landing on the grass completely forgotten as I reeled backwards. I could feel it rising from my gut, and I couldn't stop it. "…I-I'm gonna –"

I turned around and heaved up everything, my breakfast and the mutagen medicine as I fell to my knees. Panting, I lifted my hand and wiped the saliva from my mouth with the back of my hand. That was utterly vile.

Raph was by my side seconds later, putting an arm around my shoulders. "You okay, Leo?" he asked me worriedly, an anxious frown creasing his features as he looked down at me.

"…I think it's that medicine Donnie gave me," I admitted, hunching forward as I clutched my aching stomach. "I-I'm not feeling too good…"

I felt Raph tighten his hold around my shoulders as he helped me to stand up again, though I wavered unsteadily as he led me away from the creek. "Come on, let's get you back to the farmhouse," he said, "You need some rest."

Even though I hobbled along beside him, I couldn't help but scowl. I didn't need rest. I've had enough of that for the past three months already. What I needed was answers. And though I knew he wouldn't answer me right away, or try to dodge the question completely, I had to know now…

"…Raph, what happened to Master Splinter?" I asked.

He stopped so abruptly that I nearly tripped over my own feet.

I turned to him, and he was frozen where he stood, his eyes wide and staring straight ahead of us unseeingly, almost as if he were seeing a ghost. It sent a chill running down my spine, but I had to press on. I put my hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Raph? Raph!" I called out to him.

He gasped suddenly, blinking rapidly as if he'd just been slapped in the face, and he looked back up at me. My expression softened as I released his shoulder. "Raph, I need to know…what happened to dad?"

I hardly ever used the word 'dad' for Master Splinter. It was either Sensei or father for us, though Mikey would occasionally call him that either when he was worried about him…or if he wanted something from him. For me, it was the former. I was worried about our father. I had no idea if he was okay, and right now, Raph was the only one who would be able to tell me.

Raph bit his lip, averting his eyes from me as he looked down at the grass. I saw how his eyes started to water, and my heart began to sink with dread.

"…Master Splinter is…" he began, his voice wavering as he shut his eyes. "…he's…he's dead, Leo…"

It was as if Shredder had sliced through me again, but this time through my heart.

My eyes were wide, and already tears were dripping down my face, but I shook my head. "…n-no…t-that can't be…" I breathed, struggling to remain standing as my legs began to feel weak beneath me. That wasn't true. Splinter wasn't dead. He couldn't be. He was stronger than that; I knew he could take down any old Kraang Droid. He couldn't have lost –

"…we saw it all," Raph continued, looking up at me now with tears in his eyes, struggling to keep his voice from wavering any more. "…w-we couldn't get through the stupid bars, a-and Shredder…"

Shredder?

Oh no. Oh god, no.

My legs finally gave way as I fell to my knees, my tears pouring from my eyes as I stared down at the ground, my teeth ground together hard enough to shatter them as I fought to keep my sobs at bay. My fingers clenched into tight, shaking fists in the grass.

Shredder had found Splinter. That monster had found my father, and he'd killed him. All because I hadn't been able to stop him. Because I had to let go of my anger and lose control. Because I was a failure.

I shut my eyes and buried my hands into my grass stained palms.

Our father was dead…because of me.

I heard a thud in front of me, and I looked up to find that Raph was on his knees as well, sobbing into his hands as his shoulders shook. I stared at his hunched, vulnerable form for only a moment, before my eyes narrowed and I lunged forwards, wrapping my arms around my younger brother in a tight, unbreakable embrace as I held him close. Even as he wrapped his arms around me and cried against my shoulder, and my own tears cascaded down my cheeks, I didn't dare let him go.

Our Sensei, our father, was gone. Everything we knew and loved was gone. But we had each other. And though I was responsible for his loss, and I knew I wasn't half the person I'd been before now, I couldn't sit idly by anymore. Leader or not, I was their brother first before anything else.

I had to take up the mantel in Splinters' absence. I had to take care of my family now.

"…Raph," I finally managed to say, though my voice was shaking terribly as I held my brother tighter, "…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But…it'll be okay. I-I promise, everything will be okay…I swear…"

His sobs began to ease, and I felt him nod against my shoulder. He said nothing, but I knew he believed me. If there was anyone I could trust to have my back, to stand by my side no matter the cost, it was Raphael.

Even in our darkest moment, he was still trying to stand strong for me, for the rest of us, just like April and Casey had for the four of us…

Now I had to return the favour. I knew I would never be the same again, but I knew I had to be strong, for them.

Somehow…