3

Karkat. Karkat. Karkat.

Oh, yes. That's so nice. Familiar. Much tougher than Jadeth. Eugh. Where'd that even come from, anyway?

Yes, Karkat. Karkat is your name, and that's basically the only thing you're sure about.

Even better: if you could remember your name out of the blue like that, then who's to say the rest of your memory won't restore itself the same way? A test of patience is surely all this will turn out to be.

Let's see if you can make it that far.

John spent awhile keeping you company, congratulating you on your name and apologizing for all the bullshit in your environment, starting with the faint smell of vomit in the air. He shook his head and said he knew he should have scrubbed harder, obviously referencing another incident. You didn't feel like correcting him.

Then Jane came back, asked him to leave the room, and left you alone to celebrate.

Party of one.

You poked at the sludge, eating about half of it before you felt like you were going to vomit again. Then, you let yourself doze off.

You deserved it.

Now, you don't really know how much time has passed, and you're still alone in your little prison. You're actually pretty okay with that. It's a pleasant change of pace from fear and anxiety. So much energy, from everyone. Even Aradia made your skin feel prickly with static.

So, the peace is to be celebrated.

Hours of peace.

Although.

Your stomach aches too much to properly grumble. It makes disgusting whining noises, which don't really go well with the roar of water.

You look over to the sludge.

You could eat that, but you can still feel the gritty texture on your tongue. If you get desperate enough- oh, who are you kidding? You'd rather eat your own arm than eat anymore of that shit. How much worse did it get with cooling?

"Karkat," you murmur. That's all you can really do. Your name is your only key, the only bridge to the rest of yourself.

That victory still feels good. You hope it lasts.

A quiet knock on the door grasps your attention. You're pleased when you don't jump with fear. Nice job, Karkat.

Ha, that name is so great.

"Hello?"

Great. There goes your 'not-jumping' record. "Uh, yeah. I'm up."

The door opens and Aradia pokes her head in again. You straighten your shoulders at the sight of her. Show no weakness.

She smiles. "How are you, Karkat?"

"Great." Whoops, that sounded a little dry. Oh, well.

She steps in and closes the door behind her. "I'm glad to hear it. I see you didn't finish the sludge."

Is she going get pissy about you wasting food? "I mean-"

She shakes her head, raising a hand. "Don't worry about it. I really don't blame you. You'll have something better to eat, soon. We're heading to port tomorrow."

You furrow your brows. "You have plenty of supplies down below."

Wait, what?

She pauses (for good reason, since your memory is sporadic and unreliable) before nodding slowly. "Yes, we do. But those supplies are for our crew. We're glad to feed you reserves, but Jade-... You're not part of our crew."

You get it, you guess. Doesn't mean you aren't a little miffed. "I understand."

She sighs. "Thank you. We're dropping you off at Grennly. It's a human/troll settlement. We have some connections there that can help you. At the least, they can give you some shelter, and at the most, they can give you a place to start over."

"Sounds amazing," you mutter. Why are you so bitter?

"They are. You'll like it there. It's safe," she promises. You grunt and she looks like she's sorry to be smiling. "Hey, how about you get out of here? Almost everyone's asleep, most importantly Jade. We can go up and you can get some much-needed air."

"That." You let out a long breath and muster up a kinder expression. "That doesn't sound bad."

She grins and clasps her hands together. "Great! Do you need help standing up?"

"No," you reply instinctively. You regret it as soon as your feet touch the cold hardwood. If you aren't already shaky, you're definitely gonna be shivering.

"Oh, right. Of course you need shoes. Hold on, I'll borrow some." And she's back out.

You pull your feet back up, just so you aren't touching the floor. It's the only cold thing, unless the bottoms of your feet are just that sensitive. But that wouldn't make sense.

The door opens again and Aradia presents some bright blue boots to you. Which are probably ten sizes too big.

"I borrowed these from Nepeta. They for them. Horns like a meowbeast's ears." She tosses them the the floor right in front of you. "Just shove them on, and let's go."

You do just that. The boots are so huge, you don't even need to use your hands. And where exactly are the fucking laces? Nowhere, that's where.

Alright, they're on, you're getting up, and would you look at that? She has to hold a hand out to you so you don't fall back down on the stupid cot.

Just keep thinking about your name. That'll distract from your sorry state of being.

She holds a finger to her lips before cracking the door open and leading you through.

You're hit with cleaner air. It's much less stuffy out here, and now you realize that the smell of your barf was something you'd gotten used to. Wonderful.

There isn't much noise beyond breathing and snoring, coming from the crew. You notice that not all of the beds are filled, but Aradia's composure assures you that whoever is still up and about isn't going to harp on her for escorting you up.

She stops and grabs at a handle up on the roof. She tugs on it and steps back, letting the stairs lower themselves. You look around at the sleeping crew, because it sounds pretty loud, but they seem used to sleeping through it.

Once it's lowered, she starts to climb up. You scramble to follow her, glad to find that you're barely struggling to climb up the steps.

When you get onto the deck, a gust of cool air threatens to blow you away. Fortunately, you carry more weight than Jane's fretting suggested.

This air has one first place in the fresh contest, even if you can feel your skin prickling. You don't think you'll be able to stay up here long before becoming a quaking mess.

Looking around, you see that this ship is in pretty bad shape. You can see where recent repairs have been made, but the wood is splintered, crooked and discolored. A glance towards the front of the ship shows you that there once had been a figurehead, but the actual head had been blown off.

Poor bastards must have been hit by pirates. They obviously got away, scathed but whole.

You hear the stairs fold up behind you, and you turn to see Aradia lifting it back up into the floorboards on her own.

She makes it look easy, so you have to make a mental note to never ever try to do that. You will fail, and you will embarrass yourself.

"It's been pretty nice out since you got on board. Almost a whole week without rough waters," Aradia muses as she rejoins you. "Come on, I'll introduce you to our pilot."

You swallow and return to your role as woolbeast. "Your captain?"

Aradia laughs. "No, she can't steer the ship. She's human, silly."

"News to me, thanks." A human captain? "How did she end up captain?"

Aradia shakes her head, waving a hand of dismissal. "That's a whole, complicated matter. All you need to know is that she is the captain, and has been the captain since long before she earned the title."

"Okay, okay." Weird.

Aradia skips up the steps to the helm above the captain's cabin. A wiry troll with four horns is strapping on some devices. They glance up and you flinch back, because their eyes are pretty freaky. It occurs to you that they have to be a psionic, and that's a reasonable explanation for their appearance. Still pretty freaky.

You guess you've never seen a psionic before. Huh.

"Oh, it's you." Don't laugh at their lisp. "I thought CJ would keep you locked up in that closet 'till we docked at PSP."

You look to Aradia, who's looking at you, and you guess you're on your own. Thanks, traitor. "I guess not. Funny how doors with no locks work."

They snort. "I'm Sollux. Use anything with me, I don't give a shit."

"Karkat. Him."

"I know about you, but you wouldn't remember that." They turn to Aradia. "We're about twenty more hours from PSP, but I desperately need to recharge."

"That's alright. You've been in for a long time. Want to plug me in?"

Sollux grimaces. "But you go so slow."

Aradia makes a face at him. "That's still going."

"I might get sea-sick, though. You know what happens, then."

She scoffs and strides forward, pulling Sollux up and unzipping his harness. She's standing very close to him. You want to look away, you guess. It'd only be polite.

"Just strap me in, already."

"Yes, ma'am." Sollux grins before he mirrors her action and pulls on a lace at her front, causing her corset to loosen up.

Alright, now you better go. Maybe jump ship, or climb up the mast and stay there until you reach land. Yeah, you're embarrassed, so what? This shit's embarrassing to witness as a third-wheel.

You back up a little, only to feel your heel land on nothing. Your pusher stops as you tip back, your arms reaching out to grab at fucking air, which is so helpful.

You collide with your shoulders first, hitting another stair with your head. Your momentum slides you down, letting the corners of the steps hit your head, shoulders and tailbone repeatedly. What fun.

It doesn't last long, and when you still, your head and shoulders are on the deck while the lower half of your miserably uncoordinated body is still going up the stairs.

You hear Sollux snickering and Aradia smothering her smile as she calls down to you. "Are you alright, Karkat?"

You lift a hand, raising a thumb to the sky. "Fine. Just star-gazing. I'm great."

"You didn't happen to forget everything again, did you?"

Your brows furrow. "No?"

"Good! Sollux, go help him. I'll take care of myself. No, that's an order."

A long, weary sigh. Yeah, you can relate.

You hear stubborn feet clack down the stairs before every nerve you have comes alive with static. Your view blurs, and suddenly you're on your feet again, stumbling into a railing. "The fuck?"

"I picked you up," Sollux explains. "You're welcome."

You nod and straighten yourself up, rubbing the back of your head (don't you dare cause any more memory loss, bump) and wondering if your hair looks the way it feels.

Obviously a perfect time for your stomach to whine.

Sollux squints and you close your eyes tightly, willing your existence to cease.

"Man, tough luck. Unfortunately for you, I'm anti-charity." You open your eyes and he's not as physically hostile as his words. "Come on, AA's going to need some privacy."

"Uh, why?"

Sollux rolls his shoulders, grunting with discomfort. "In order to steer the ship, you need a troll with psychic energy in the helm. Some trolls have more than others, it's all case by case. AA's energy is mostly passive, and it'll take a lot more focus for - why am I spending time explaining this to you? You'll probably just forget it all in a few hours, anyway."

You make sure to look offended, because you're suddenly scared that he's right. "Whatever. I didn't really care, anyway."

"Sure."

They let out a long sigh. "Go up to the lookout tower with me. You'll go stir crazy if I send you back down already."

You look to see how high it is and yelp when you feel an arm wrap around you. The static comes back, making the hair on your head raise.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" You cling to Sollux as you watch the deck gain distance from your feet. Which, you promptly wrap around their body.

He grunts, pushing at your legs. "Relax, man. If you keep struggling, I'll drop you. On purpose."

You go absolutely still, because you absolutely believe him when he says that. He's made it painfully clear that he has no regard for your life. You hate them so much.

Your pan starts to feel a little light as you continue watching the stable deck distance itself from you. You screw your eyes shut and turn your head into Sollux, your chest aching with fear.

Wait, no. Air. Air. Fuck, air.

"Shit," Sollux breathes incredulously, his grip slackening. You shriek and dig your claws into him, making him grunt in pain. "We landed, idiot."

The static gets painful, briefly. Only long enough to make you let go and send you back, landing on wood and stumbling until your lower back collides with the railing around the platform. You have a death grip on the railing, you're breathing heavily, and you are beyond grateful that Sollux isn't even looking at you. Even if that is kinda really fucking inconsiderate.

"You aren't cold?"

Okay, that came way out of left field. So much for inconsiderate.

"No," you reply gruffly as the freezes your arms. Nevermind, he did that on purpose. Mentioned the cold so that you'd suffer again. God, what an asshole.

"K," he mutters. He kneels down and takes a seat on the floor, resting his head on a pole of rail.

The wind blows and no one says another word.

Great. What now? You're stranded with a sadistic bulgechafe on a tower with even less surface area to stand on, thanks to him sitting down.

You refuse to shield yourself from the cold.

You wait a bit, staring at him and expecting more conversation, but he's just looking ahead past the bow of the ship. Or, you think that's where he's looking. You can't exactly tell.

Two minutes now. Nothing. You let out a breath and turn away from him, inconspicuously crossing your arms.

Woah.

You slowly uncross your arms, stepping to get a better view. The ocean looks rough, coarse, and the quiet, constant noise has a sudden cause. Dark, terrifying blue, and white where the moon spits on the water. You swallow, trying to rationalize your reaction, but you think you long figured that you didn't really remember what the ocean looked like, just what it was.

How many other things are just memories of memories?

"Have a seat. I have a coat in my deck."

Ah, he speaks.

You take a steadying breath to tear yourself away from the water, then to maneuver yourself to be able to sit beside him. A coat appears in his hands as he passes it to you. You don't say anything as you shrug into it. Kinda small, but you're not complaining. Aloud.

"We found you on a tiny boat in the middle of the water, laying in a pool of your own vomit." You turn to him, eyes wide. You didn't take them for talkative, but this is something you'd like to hear so you aren't going to say a thing. "We wouldn't have found you if EB wasn't slacking when we were working on trying to keep our ship afloat. He doesn't usually, not when it counts. You owe him."

"EB?"

"John."

Really? That kid? He tried to poison you with suspicious sludge, you don't owe him shit. But like. Did he actually do something noble? Or did he just notice your boat floating all alone? You don't want to know. You don't want to feel like you owe anyone anything.

"Did you salvage anything from the boat? Anything that tells me who I am?"

"Nothing we knew anything about."

You wait for him to keep going, yet again, and he doesn't. You just stare at your hands, head heavy. Full of nothing.

But they saved something, right?

You clear your throat and turn to him, mouth open to ask, but his eyes are closed and dark. "Sollux?"

Nothing. Exactly what he's keen on offering you.

So much for 'not thleeping any time thoon.'

The breeze picks up briefly and you shiver, tucking your hands into your arms. This coat is your feeble lifeline to not turning into a creamsicle. Lucky that Sollux had this in his. His deck.

You straighten up and try to look for yours, reaching for the cards with your mind as actively as you can.

You find them, just in front of your gaze, and they're locked in some kind of- a safe?

You squint at it, kind of perplexed. What the hell would drive you to pick up a safe modus?

Well, you don't remember the combination. This is the millionth mystery that's definitely going to have to wait. You'll have all of the time in the world at Pike Sea's Port.

You sigh loudly and lean back, closing your eyes. This sucks.

You open them again, staring at the stars and watching them run. Your eyes feel heavy, but they're burning too much to keep them closed. You don't want to stay up any more.

Thinking is not your thing.

Karkat.

AN: I'll probably post a (more) edited version of this soon, but nothing major will change. ijustkindofamexcited. ;] all commentary is welcome!