Part the Third: The Mother-Wound

"Vampires couldn't have children. If it were possible, Rosalie would have found a way by now.Of course, Rosalie could not conceive a child, because she was frozen in the state in which she passed from human to inhuman. Totally unchanging. And human women's bodies had to change to bear children. The constant change of a monthly cycle for one thing, and then the bigger changes needed to accommodate a growing child. Rosalie's body couldn't change. But mine could. Mine did. I touched the bump on my stomach that had not been there yesterday." – "Unexpected", Breaking Dawn, pg. 84

July 2008
Skarsvåg Village, Nordkapp
Finnmark County, Norway

When Emmett had lovingly revealed to her that her birthday present was to be found in Europe this year, Rosalie had almost become light-headed with the possibilities that a European holiday could offer.

She imagined climbing to the peak of the Chablais Alps, standing four thousand feet in the air and watching the sunset over Lake Geneva, then making love on the mountainside under the light of the constellations. She imagined being mesmerized by the ethereal beauty of the opera, soaking in the stunning architecture of the recently built Oslo Opera House. She imagined a midnight picnic at Stonehenge, sitting within the circle of ancient stones as they drank from a hunted stag and shared bloodstained kisses. She imagined swimming far beneath the surface of the Mediterranean Sea and finding the seafloor, where they would dance to music only they could hear and explore the interesting deep-sea creatures that dwelled below. She imagined somehow ending up in the quaint, whitewashed home in Santorini and taking a brief pause from the world, pouring love and worship into each other in their private, peaceful home on the Aegean Sea.

Rosalie imagined a whirlwind of activity for the month that they were to be in Europe and she was not disappointed.

The thirty days leading up to her birthday, on July first, were more vivid and exciting than she could have ever imagined, and not for the first time, Rosalie was thankful that an impulsive, somewhat selfish urge had brought her this incredible being as her forever husband, her eternal mate. No matter how long they lived, no matter how many lives they lived through their choice to participate in the human masquerade, Emmett was dedicated to discovering a new way of looking at the world, each day – and, Rosalie knew his love for the new and unexplored would lead her on a treasure hunt that would be more dazzling than the year before.

They were in Paris when Emmett had kissed her sweetly, softly and murmured against her mouth that their next stop was their final stop and where her gift would be found. Their arrival in Norway was surprising but not unwelcome. Emmett continued to sweep her off her feet night after night, her anticipation building as he continued to play coy and deny her guesses as to what her gift would end up being. Finally, once they had checked out of the suite in Oslo and spent a couple of hours shipping the spoils of her birthday shopping spree back to the United States, Emmett had announced they were ready to depart for her gift.

Rosalie had learned that her imagination rarely measured up to the reality that Emmett delivered, especially on sacred occasions such as her birthday. Any number of wild and incredible ideas ran through her mind as they sprinted up the western coast of Norway, their destination taking them up north, but Emmett wanting to take a route that could only be traveled by their kind. It was a beautiful memory to be imprinted on her immortal mind, running alongside the steely beauty of the Norwegian Sea and seeming to be chasing the midnight sun with her hand intertwined in Emmett's and love overflowing from her heart.

A few moments after midnight on July first, her ninety-third birthday, Emmett declared that they had arrived at their destination: "Welcome to Skarsvåg, Norway – population less than two hundred."

Rosalie pursed her full, wintry lips and tried not to look as underwhelmed as she felt. The village was nothing more than a cluster of homes and a handful of businesses on the coastline between two steep mountains. There were scant signs of life, maybe a human or two here or there, and a handful of chimneys expressing thin, wispy smoke into the crisp midnight summer. Rosalie supposed there was a certain charm about it – quaint, remote, and the very definition of a simple, steady life. But, the rustic charm of a rural Norwegian village did little to help her understand what about this could be her birthday present and she looked to Emmett with a confused smile.

"We're in Skarsvåg, because…?"

"We're here because this is where your birthday present is to be found, angel." Emmett replied simply. He reached for hands and pulled her gently towards him, until she was wrapped in his strong, unyielding embrace. Rosalie melted into his hug as he offered gentle, impossibly tender kisses and declared, "Rosalie Lillian Hale, I love you more than anything. You are my entire life and I'd do anything for you – anything to keep you safe, anything to provide for you, anything to make you happy. You know this, right?"

Rosalie didn't hesitate as she instantly affirmed, "I don't doubt it for a second."

Emmett smiled at the fierceness in her voice.

"I know you already know this, but with what I'm about to tell you, I reckon there's no harm in repeating it." Emmett was worship embodied in an immortal body, as he continued, ferociously, "I owe you my entire existence, Rosie. Carlisle may be our Creator, he might be the one who's directly responsible for me bein' a vampire and all – but, you are the one who I owe my life to. It was you, you were the one that saved me from an agonizing death. You are the one that I give thanks and praise to, every darned day, because without you, I wouldn't have this limitless existence. I wouldn't have any life at all, and if by the grace of G – and if by the grace of some higher power, I did survive that bear maulin' me, I still don't reckon I'd have a life worth livin', because you wouldn't have been in it."

"Oh, Emmett…"

Venom blurred her vision as tears welled in her eyes. He had indeed told her this more times than she could possibly keep count of, but Rosalie would never tire of his affirmation of love and gratitude for the endless, depthless love they shared. His wintry lips kissed the trails of moisture that her venom-tears left behind, and she smiled at the feather-soft sensation of his mouth against her marble-smooth, porcelain skin.

"The life that we have together is perfect, angel – more perfect than my wildest dreams. But, there are two things that I would sacrifice our life together for, in the blink of an eye. You know what those two things are, right?"

Rosalie sniffed, more venomous tears coming from her sunflower-gold eyes. "To be human again…and…to be a father."

Emmett nodded with a touch of sadness. His smile was slightly tremulous, but he continued on: "I know there isn't anything that can be done about bein' human again. I reckon that as much as I hate what we are, I've come to accept it and I'm good with what this life is. But, I've never stopped wanting to be a father. I've never stopped wanting to have babes of my own – and I've never stopped wanting a family with you, Rose."

"Three sons and two daughters, who would give us fifteen grandchildren, and twenty-two great-grandchildren," Rosalie whispered, a raw pain in each word, the aching sting of eternal incompletion in her voice as she sniffled again, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"Julian would have been our eldest boy, intelligent and responsible and thoughtful. Fabian would have been our middle boy, free-spirited and inventive and helpful. Dorian would have been our smallest boy, brave and proud and adventurous. Eleanor would be our older daughter – she'd be a leader, independent and enchanting. Adelaide would be our younger daughter – she'd be a teacher, brilliant and beloved. They'd all be loved and happy and we'd give them anything they wanted or needed. They'd all get married to wives and husbands who would love them and take care of them – and they'd all give us beautiful grandchildren, who'd give us even more beautiful great-grandchildren. We'd have a whole and happy family – and it'd all come from how much we loved each other and how happy we were to be married to one another."

His words were both a soothing balm to her heart and an aching wound across her soul. Rosalie leaned into his embrace and buried her face into his chest, a sob coming from her despite her efforts to hold herself together and remain calm.

They spoke of this dream often – the family they would have wanted, the life they would have wanted to lead if they were humans and were not accursed with the static immortality that being a vampire forced them to exist in.

The marriage that she had dreamed of having when she was a human, Emmett had given her dozens of times over, staying fiercely committed to the role of son-in-law in their human masquerade, the fiancé who would marry Rosalie and give her a stunning, glorious wedding, forever and ever. The home that she had dreamed that she and her husband would have, Emmett had given her more than one of – a mansion in Rochester, a penthouse in Manhattan, a farmhouse in Georgia, a bungalow in Bali, a stonewashed home in Santorini, their little hideaway on the Aegean Sea being her most beloved of all their homes.

All that had ever been missing were the children.

Julian. Fabian. Eleanor. Adelaide. Dorian.

Their sons and daughters, the beautiful and perfect and incomparable creations that were the highest expression of the love and adoration that she and Emmett had for one another, as husband and wife, as a family. There had been countless days and nights in which the pair of them had sat together and dreamed up what their perfect, most ideal family would look like. They'd debated and haggled passionately and happily about what names their sons deserved, what names their daughters would be given; Rosalie had been unrelenting on the names of her daughters, the image of the fierce and proud and lovely young ladies she would raise being too strong to accept any input from Emmett, while Emmett had been insistent that his sons have powerful names, after emperors and saints, great men who'd done and been great figures in history. Julian had been named after a Roman emperor, while Fabian had been given the name of Emmett's favorite saint, and Rosalie had won out on Dorian as a nod to her favorite author, Oscar Wilde. Eleanor had been named after a European queen who Rosalie had enjoyed studying about once as a History major, while Adelaide had been named after a saint as well, the wife of a Holy Roman Emperor.

The children they would never have, they would never be able to create as their own – they had all been so lovingly planned for and discussed, down to the slightest detail. They had given so much care and love and attention to focusing on each child, the dreams and the hopes and the aspiration they had for their happiness and success. They had spent so much time-sharing ideas and exchanging thoughts on the family they would build, the lives they would lead as husband and wife who were creating their ideal life together.

All of it had been accessible, all of it had been accomplished – except the presence of their children.

"I would do anything, Rosie, anything at all to be able to have our family, with you. Anything at all."

"I know you would," Rosalie said tenderly. Her tears continued to prickle against her skin, and Emmett kissed them away lovingly. "I know there is nothing you wouldn't do for us to have our family – but, I think like you, as much as I hate it, I've come to accept it."

Emmett looked at her intensely, his golden eyes glowing with a thousand emotions she couldn't begin to decipher. "Rosalie, what if you didn't have to accept that we'll never have our family? What if I told you that we can have our children – that we could have the family that we always wanted?"

Rosalie blinked, something about the intensity of his stare making her aware that this was more than just a sweet nothing, more than just a wild dream he'd pretend mightily that he could accomplish just because he loved her – much like his promises to give her the Moon and grab a couple of stars, while he was at it. "We already know that us having a family is impossible, Emmett. Or, at least us having a family the way we want to have one is impossible. I'm still not entirely on board with the idea of Creating children out of humans, like Carlisle and Esme have…"

"We don't have to Create children out of humans, Rose. We can have our own children, who look like you and I, who are our actual, blooded children, and we can have each and every one of them, whenever we're ready to do so." Emmett nodded his head towards the village below them, the narrow strip of civilization on the Arctic Sea that she'd never known existed before now. "I brought you here to Skarsvåg, because there is a family that I'd like to introduce you to. A family that will help us to have our own family, because they're going to teach us how to make dhampir children, so we can have each and every one of the children we dreamed of always having."

Rosalie stared.

She was sure she hadn't heard correctly. She couldn't have heard him correctly. There had been plenty of moments that she'd allowed herself to dwell on the dark and wild thought that she'd had long ago, shortly after the Volturi had left and she had overheard her coven parents and cousin talking about the Law and dhampir children. She'd come up with a million and one different fantasies of acting on the possibility of using a human woman to create dhampir children. But, she had never spoken of her dark fantasy aloud. She'd certainly never shared her secret obsession with her husband, knowing how he felt about needlessly killing humans and appalled at her own self for being so willing to murder again for her own ends.

Yet, Emmett was speaking of her darkest, wildest, most forbidden fixation, as plainly and assuredly as this was another adventure they'd created and were about to set off on.

Rosalie couldn't pass out, this accursed and immortal body giving her no mercy from any moment or sensation in this life. But, as she swayed, stumbling backwards out of Emmett's embrace and deliberately inhaling the salty, crisp ocean air, Rosalie felt as though she was close to fainting. Without a hint of her usual grace, Rosalie dropped to the ground and began breathing rhythmically.

Emmett snickered. "Alice finally got you to practice that meditative breathing thing, huh?"

Rosalie glared up at him, her golden eyes molten with panic and confusion and irritation. "This isn't the time for jokes or laughing, Emmett. You just – you're saying – you're trying to tell me – "

"Take your time, angel," Emmett said, tenderly. "I know what I just said was a bit – unsettling."

"Unsettling?" Rosalie was incredulous. "Unsettling would have been if you'd told me that we were to be living here from now on, because you wanted to explore fishing on the Artic Sea. Unsettling would have been you saying we weren't at our destination and you wanted to do something like go to the North Pole. Unsettling would even be you deciding to take me diving for sea lions for my birthday. I think that declaring that we're going to have dhampir children is a lot more than unsettling, Emmett Hale!"

"Are you not – is this something you wouldn't want to do?" Emmett asked, suddenly unsure of himself. He glanced at the village below, his eyes nervous and worried, and abruptly kneeled beside Rosalie, where she remained sitting gracelessly on the ground. "Rose, I'm sorry if this upset you. I thought – I don't know, I thought we were on the same page when it came to this, but maybe I was wrong."

"No, no!" Rosalie rushed to make him understand, willing her thoughts to come together clearly and focus on the moment as it was. A million thoughts were thundering through her head, wild and limitless possibilities crashing around in her mind, the implications of what her husband was saying finally coming through the haze of shock that had clouded her mind. "No, Beloved, you aren't wrong. I'm not sure about how I feel about it, but I've definitely thought about what you're speaking of, more than once. I know that it's rather impossible for me to have our children, this wretched body being what it is. But, I've been thinking about it for a while, and well…it might be impossible for me to have our children, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is impossible for us to have children together, even still."

An awful, familiar guilt began unfurling inside of Rosalie, as she finally admitted to another being what she'd been fantasizing and daydreaming about for well over a year. Emmett was looking at her, steadily and warmly, his golden eyes encouraging as he made it clear that he was listening, that he was craving her thoughts on what he was proposing. Rosalie closed her eyes and breathed in the balancing, soothing pattern that Alice taught her, and a few moments of patient silence passed as she gathered her thoughts and could finally express her feelings openly to her husband.

"Once, not too long after the pardon from Volterra, I overheard Daddy and Mother talking with Eleazar and they were talking about the Law being amended, as it regards immortal children." Rosalie remembered the crisp and clear morning that had sparked this concept to begin with, gratitude briefly arising as she realized exactly how opportune it had been for her to be perched on that particular tree at that particular moment. "They were discussing how Renesmee's birth was going to change our world, how it would be the catalyst for many of our kind deciding to see if they could try their hand at creating half-human beings. And, although I know they disapprove of Renesmee's birth and are strictly against any more of her kind being created – I couldn't help but think about what it would be like if you and I did what Edward and Bella did. If you and I created a dhampir child and would finally be able to have the child we've always wanted."

The smile that Emmett gave her could only be described as beatific, his bone-white teeth gleaming with venom in the glow of the midnight sun.

"Emmett, are you saying that you're – are you telling me that you'd be alright with what we'd have to do, in order to get this child?" Rosalie asked, both hopeful and disapproving, all at once. "You do realize what we'd have to do, don't you?"

Emmett gathered her trembling hands in his own wintry hands and brought their intertwined fingers to his mouth, offering gentle, loving kisses. When he spoke, his voice was steady and unapologetic. "I know what we have to do in order to have a dhampir baby, because I've already attempted to do it."

Rosalie gasped. "You already attempted to do it? Emmett!"

"I do apologize fer keeping you in the dark, angel, but this was something I had to do on my own." Emmett kissed their hands again, and Rosalie chose to take comfort in the gesture instead of rebuffing as she wanted to. "Rosie, I had to see if I had the stomach fer this. I needed to know if I was really capable of doing whatever was necessary to get us our family. I didn't want to bring this up to you and then, when we went to go ahead and act on it, we find out I'm yeller-bellied and can't go through with it. I wanted to be sure of this, for you."

Rosalie eyed him, curiously. "So, you attempted do create a dhampir baby, and…?"

"I failed at it, mostly because I had no clue what I was doing." Emmett admitted freely. He tried to hide it, Rosalie was sure, but she still caught the shiver that made his brawny body tremble. She wondered what his failure had cost and what he had gone through because of it. "Now that I know I have the stomach fer this, I have spent the past year researching and tracking down someone who knows how to create dhampir babies and knows how to do it properly – and that's why we are here, Rose. That's why I've brought you here. We're going to meet with a family who knows how to create dhampirs and will share with us their experience and their knowledge – and, once we have the proper guidance, we can have the family that we've always wanted, my Adored."

Rosalie looked out down upon the quaint little fishing village – Skarsvåg, Norway, population less than two hundred.

She had never heard of this place before Emmett had brought her here without warning. But, now, as she stared down at the cluster of houses on the coastline, quiet and slumbering under the glowing illumination of the midnight sun, this little fishing village suddenly meant more to her than she could express. There was no place on Earth she would rather be than here, in this unassuming Norwegian hamlet on the Arctic Sea.

"Emmett, if we do this, then we're risking a lot and we'll be crossing a line that we can't come back from."

"I'm aware of that, Rose. I'm ready to accept any consequence or risk any outcome, so long as the end result is us having our family."

"People will die because of what we're about to do."

"Possibly. Our sister didn't die because of Nessie, so this doesn't automatically have to become a death sentence for the lady we choose."

"Our parents, our brothers and sisters, they will never forgive us for this. We may very well lose our family because of this."

"I'm willing to sacrifice the family that created us, in exchange for the family that we will create. Our parents and our siblings are important to me, but they don't mean half of what Julian, Fabian, Eleanor, Adelaide, and Dorian meant to us. I love them dearly, but I love you and the children we will have more."

"Are we willing to risk everything for this, Emmett? Does the chance to have children really mean this much to us that we'll go this far and risk this much?"

Emmett untangled their hands and brought his own to her face, gently cupping her ethereally beautiful face his grasp and kissing her soundly.

"Yes, Rosalie, all of it is worth it. No matter how many times you ask, no matter how many ways you put it – the answer is yes, it's worth it and it will always be worth it, no matter what."

Rosalie was quiet for what felt like ages. Her amber-gold eyes stared without seeing into the horizon, her mind well away from this moment in time as she thought about what this meant, about what moving forward on this path would mean.

Emmett had put so much thought and care into this, her impossible birthday gift. He had sincerely spent a great deal of time searching and seeking out what was needed to bring him here to this remote outpost, so far from home and from their family. This very possibility had occurred to her well before he'd put his own plans into motion, but she hadn't had any of his bravery or initiative to act upon the deepest, most unspoken desires of their hearts. She hadn't had the courage to defy her worries and fears and doubts – she hadn't even had the courage to speak them aloud to her husband, leaving Emmett to go through all of this effort without the assurance of knowing he was supported and encouraged in this wild but possible idea.

They would be risking everything, if they went through with this.

They would be harming human women and putting them at risk for violent, frightening deaths.

They would be breaking the Law as it stood, regardless of the continued deliberation and the hopeful amendment that had yet to be issued from Volterra.

But –

Julian, their brilliant thinker. Fabian, their creative free thinker. Eleanor, their enchanting leader. Adelaide, their beloved teacher. Dorian, their brave adventurer.

What had been kept from them was worth more than what they would lose in this journey of attempting the impossible, and as Rosalie looked into her husband's eyes and saw his unyielding conviction, his utter devotion and loyalty to the family they were so close to finally having – she made her decision.

"Children are the best present that I could think of, my love." Rosalie said worshipfully, and the smile that she gave Emmett could have rivaled the arctic sun. "I'm willing to sacrifice everything for the family that we will have and I'm ready to receive my birthday present. Take me to meet the family that will teach us how to create our family, my Beloved."

All of her worries, all of her fears, all of her shame, all of her guilt – Rosalie left it behind on the arctic mountaintop that they descended from, heading towards the village of Skarsvåg.

If those who didn't want children and had been perfectly willing to throw the gift of childbearing to the side were still able to have what they didn't want, then she and her husband could most certainly have what they'd sacrifice each other and their souls to have.

Julian. Fabian. Eleanor. Adelaide. Dorian.

The names of her coming dhampir children pounded within her in the place of the heartbeat that she'd lost so long ago. She would finally be a mother – and in being a mother, all the wounds that she thought she would have to carry for eternity would be forever healed. She would be complete for all of time.

(Author's Note: Skarsvåg, Norway is a real village, but I've definitely never been there – all descriptions and knowledge come from doing my due diligence on Google. I decided to make this chapter a little fluff-heavy, because starting next chapter, it is going to get creepy. Remember, the subgenre is Horror for a very real reason and we're going to get knee-deep into all the dark and wild implications, unfortunate and otherwise.

There are seven or eight more chapters to go, so if there is a question or a curiosity about the story so far, just be patient and I promise you it will all be answered. There are layers to this tale and I'm going to be sure to get them all! I appreciate all of the reviews, follows, and praise so far – please, let me know what you think of this update!)