CHAPTER TWO
For Clara, the cable car ride up the rest of the maintain was awkward. It was like high school all over again. Two friends were talking amicably and she was the outsider. It wasn't a game that she wanted to play.
The ride couldn't be over fast enough. She left the cable car and tried the door, only to find it locked. No… Why? She wanted to get out. She needed to get out. "It's locked," she mumbled to the other two, who groaned in disbelief and tried to door themselves.
It was very, very much locked. She hated this.
Clara sat by the door and buried her face in her knees. This was already turning out to be a disaster. Why hadn't she listened to Dr. Hill?
"Hey! Hey! Is anyone there?" Sam shouted, banging on the window of the door.
Clara shivered as the cold began to permeate through her coat.
"Clara, supper!"
She padded over to the kitchen where the exquisite scent of her mother's cooking wafted through the air. Roast turkey! She had always hoped for a day like this. Thanksgiving Day was always neglected because no one ever had time to celebrate it. Mother would be at work. Father would be at work. Clara would be left to her own device and the number to the pizza place.
This year, however, father was out on some sort of trip, so mother took the day off and splurged a little on a better meal. Her mother had always been a wonderful cook.
She moved a chair to the counter and climbed on to it to reach the china cabinet. There were always a set that she wanted to use. With permission, she took them down and set the table. Mother placed down each dish. Clara stared, salivating with anticipation.
"Mum, this looks brilliant. Papa doesn't know what he's missing!" she exclaimed.
As she happily scooped up a generous portion of mash and cut up some of the turkey, she didn't notice the downward turn of her mother's lips.
"Clara? Clara!"
She jolted back to reality and looked at Sam's worried expression. "Sorry… I must've zoned out a little."
The blonde smiled. "Come on. Jess was waiting outside. She saved us from turning into human popsicles!"
They walked out of the small, cold room.
Were all of Josh's friends blonde?
"Who are you? I thought it was just going to be our group coming. The lodge isn't up for rentals, you know." Clara immediately felt like a trespasser, but mainly, she felt contempt for this woman. Jess looked like a typical mean girl. This was what Clara had been afraid of. Sam and Chris seemed harmless enough, but Jess was something else entirely.
"Hey!" Sam didn't look happy. "Clara's coming with us to the lodge. Josh wanted her to come."
Jess scoffed. "I thought this was a day for us to mourn them. She doesn't even know what we've all been through last year!"
"Jess, come on," Chris tried to calm her down. "This is a day for everyone. If Josh wants her to come alone, we should all respect his decision. He's the one who's been through the most."
Clara shuffled nervously from feet to feet. "It's alright. I'll just… start heading to the lodge. Don't mind me."
Without waiting for a reply, she hurried off. Disastrous. Absolutely disastrous. All she wanted to do now was lock herself in her room and wait for the weekend to be over. She wanted to cry and scream and just be alone forever.
"Wait, Clara!"
Reluctantly, she stopped her brisk pace and slowed to a halt.
"Clara, Jess didn't mean it," Sam tried to explain Jess' poor reception. "She's usually pretty nice, but… Sometimes she just doesn't have a working verbal filter and I think she's been feeling really guilty about what happened last year."
"Yeah. I don't know about you, but I'm freezing," Christ suggested. "Let's go find the others."
Sam grinned. "You mean go see Ashley, don't you?"
Clara trailed behind them until the lodge came into view. The dark hair stood out like a beacon of light against the white. She felt herself begin to pick up speed.
"Josh!"
He stood up from his position on the stairs and waved at them. "Clara, I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it." He looked genuinely happy to see her. "I know that Dr. Hill is probably a slave driver."
"Just a bit." She was glad that there was finally a familiar face. "It's good to see you."
"You, too."
"Alright, love birds," Christ called to them. "There are two other very clueless people here."
Clara turned and saw that their group now consisted of five people. There was a long-haired brunette female who was gazing curiosity at her. The other was a black hair male with darker skin. He looked upset about something and Clara could only hope that it wasn't because of her.
"Guys, everyone, this is Clara. She works for the shrink. She's great, so I don't want to see anyone bullying her, okay?" Josh wrapped an arm around Clara's shoulders. "Now, go introduce yourselves to her while I take care of this little problem we have here."
"I'm Ashley," the brunette spoke first. She was standing quite closely to Chris. At first glance, Clara thought there was a sort of unrequited romance happening, but the way they were looking at each other told otherwise.
"Matt." The other stranger didn't say anything more. He looked to be distracted by something. His eyes wandered into the distance, waiting for someone she didn't know.
"Christ, my man!" Josh gave his friend a manly hug. "Want to help me with something?" He went to the door and tugged at it.
"Iced over?"
"Yeah."
Chris bent down to look through the hole before tugging the knob a few times. "Maybe we can go 'round back?"
Clara watched as the two left, wanting nothing more than to follow them. When she took her first step, however, Ashley pulled her to the side. "Is something the matter?" the redhead asked, confusion and a slightly tinge of annoyance clearly in her voice.
Ashley looked nervously at her. "You work with Josh's shrink, right?" Her hazel eyes flitted around her, watching to see if anyone was listening in.
Clara nodded. Where was this going? Did she want some kind of juicy gossip? Surely Ashley didn't think she'd tell her.
"Do you think we can talk in private later?" Ashley bit her lips. "I really need someone to talk to about what happened and I can't tell them." She gestured to her friends. "It'd be so weird. I need an outside view and you've worked with his doctor."
Clara gave it a thought. She didn't like being reminded that she was an outsider, but she really wanted to hear what Ashley had to say. It could give her an insight on the situation this weekend and with Josh. The newspaper never went into too much detail. They were more interested with digging up the past and talking about the father, Bob Washington. "Sure. Whenever you'd like, but I'm really only the receptionist. I'm not qualified for any serious work."
"That's okay. I just really, really need to talk to someone about it." Ashley pleaded with her eyes.
Clara reassured her that it was alright and to see her later.
They waited for another five minutes before Chris' face popped up from behind the door. Sam demanded that he'd hurry up. There was a creak, a crack, and a bang. The door swung open.
Everyone filed in, excited to get out of the cold.
Inside, the lodge was architecturally beautiful. Large wooden pillars supported the two storey building. There was a staircase that led even further down. It was enormous, much bigger than it looked from the outside. Clara continued to look around. There was a thick layer of dust over all the furniture coverings. It was dark and cold, only a step up from outside.
"Someone close the door!"
Once it was shut, the lodge seemed more inhabitable, but the wood was still a poor insulator against the cold. The wind could be heard wheezing through the old window.
"Guys, make yourself at home!" Josh appeared behind them. "Don't be strangers. You know the place! Well, most of you. Clara, you can stay close to me. I'll show you how everything is done here." He waggled his eyebrows at her.
She blushed, but was glad that he was considerate enough to not through her into the unknown with at least a map.
"Come on, Clara. I'll show you to your room."
This Josh seemed to be very different from the other that she had come to know at the office. Here, he was outgoing and open. There was no evidence of his episodes. She was glad that he seemed to be improving, but if this was all a ruse, Clara was afraid. Did he have something planned for her?
"Here it is!" He opened the door with gusto and bowed his head. Why was it so hard to guard herself against his charm?
She laughed before walking in.
The room was almost overly spacious for her. Just the bed was nearly the size of her entire bedroom. There was even an en-suite. "It's wonderful, Josh." She ran a hand on the smooth mahogany dresser. "A bit dusty, but it's the most beautiful bedroom I've ever been in."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "And how many bedrooms have you been in. Are there things you haven't told me, Miss Clara?"
"Loads of things I haven't told you, Mr. Josh," she teased. "You'll just have to figure them out."
"Looking forward to that." He took her hand and guided her to the vanity table. "Here."
Inside the drawer was a small box, wrapped with a navy blue ribbon. It was crudely tied, but the sentiment was there.
"And what is this, Josh?"
"Open it and see." With a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, he began to back up out of the room. "Oh, and if you need anything, my room is just beside yours to the right. And I mean anything – including helping you use what's inside that box."
She flushed at the idea that he may be flirting with her and what exactly was in that box? She pulled the ribbon away and stored it in her pocket before tearing away at the wrapping paper. She stared in shock at the contents.
"JOSH WASHINGTON‼!"
Everyone downstairs turned at the shout.
"What did you do?" Sam inquired. From what she gathered, Clara was a quiet, soft-spoken person. What did Josh do to make her scream like that?
He gave them a toothy grin. "She just looked at the present I left in her room."
"Oh, not that," Chris groaned. Josh wd told him, but he didn't think it was for real.
"You got it, Cochise!"
When Clara walked down, she had the box of condoms in her hand. "What is this?" she hissed at him.
He quietly hushed her with a smug look on his face. "What does it look like?"
"Josh – "
He hushed her, again, leaving her irritated and flustered. It was only then that she noticed two more had joined them – an Asian woman and a brunette man. There seemed to be an argument between those two, Matt, and Jess.
"That's Mike and Emily," Ashley whispered to her from the other side. "They used to be together, but Mike is with Jess now and Emily's with Matt."
"No one wants in on your territory, honey," Emily snarled at Jess who had been cuddling with Mike.
"Excuse me? Did you say something?" Jess was on her feet in an instant.
"Did you not hear me?" Emily sneered. "Is your sluttiness too loud?"
Clara's eyes were wide as she stared at them. That, despite the malicious intention behind it, was simply an amazing retort. From beside her, she could see Josh's shaking shoulders and silent laughter. It was difficult to stifle her own giggles that was waiting to burst out, instead, she whispered to Ashley. "Are they always like this?"
Ashley shook her head. She didn't know whether to be amused or troubled by the spat. "They used to be best friends before what happened last year." She spoke quiet enough to be out of Josh's hearing range. "Emily and Mike broke up and then Jess came in. I think Emily is still hung up on him."
"Hey! Hey!" Josh finally jumped in to defuse the argument before it turned into a physical fight. "Here, the keys that I promised you two. Just follow the trail to the guest cabin and you guys can have your sexy time."
Mike sent him a relieved look. "Thanks, man." He guided his enraged girlfriend to the back door.
Emily hugged. "That cow…" Her dark eyes looked towards her friends before settling on a new face. "And who are you?"
"Be nice, Em," Josh warned her. "This is Clara."
Emily rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
The tension was still suffocating until both Emily and Matt left to retrieve a forgotten bag at the cable car. The rest shared a half grimace, half amused look. This was going to be an interesting weekend.
Clara never knew that the dynamic between friends could be so dysfunctional. It nearly made her question why she ever wanted something like this before. Shaking her head, she turned to Josh. "What exactly did you give me a box of condoms, Mr. Washington?"
He made a face at the name. "Just a joke? Unless… You don't want it to be. I mean, we'll all be staying here for two days – nothing to do… My room's beside yours…"
She hit him with the box.
"Ow!"
"You'd have to do better than that."
"Can't blame a guy for trying."
Everyone began to settle into the lodge. A fire was burning in the small fireplace. It already looked more lively. The remaining five were gathered around, discussing what to do. They came up with a few ideas. Most of them were silly and Josh even suggested making snow angels naked until Sam hit him.
Out of the blue, Josh suddenly suggested that they could do a séance. Why he thought it was a good idea, Clara didn't know. She thought it was a terrible, terrible idea. This trip was meant for them to find closure. Trying to contact the dead was anything but. She didn't want him to lapse back.
"Josh… Josh!" She tugged him over to a private corner, away from the others. There were a few cat calls and wolf whistles, but she ignored them.
"If you wanted to make out, we could've gone somewhere a little more private."
When had Josh become such a bloody flirt? With a deep breath she shook away the flutter of her heart and told him what was on her mind. "I don't' think we should be doing this. Of all things… I thought you wanted to get better and this isn't the way to do it."
The lightness in his eyes disappeared. "I thought you were here as my friend, not my therapist."
"That's not fair." She was annoyed by the low blow. "I can be a friend and still worry about your mental state."
"I don't need you for that," he replied through gritted teeth.
"I care about you. I came here for you, but if you won't do what you can to help yourself, then maybe I shouldn't be here. I'll just get my bag and leave." Tears stung her eyes, but she ignored them. She turned on her heels and ran upstairs.
By the time she was in her room, her entire body was shaking. This was all a bleeding mess. She couldn't stay here. Josh wasn't who she thought he was.
It suddenly felt as if she was suffocating in here. She needed air. Without even thinking about the cold, she flung the creaky window open. The cold air shocked her out of her panicked state.
She was going to be fine. She was going to be fine.
Opening her bag, she frantically searched for her bottle of pills. Just this once. She hadn't taken any in a few years, just a few should be fine. It would make her fine.
"Hey! Porn stars! You're gonna need these." Josh's voice suddenly flowed into the room.
Porn stars?" Jess sounded incredulous.
"I'd pay to see it." Clara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had Josh always been so disgusting? Did he flirt with every girl?
"Uh, gross," Jess retorted.
As she was about to close the window, she heard Jess, once more. "I think Josh was flirting with me." Her heart clenched.
"What you want to invite him with us?" Mike joked.
"Uh, really…?" The hopeful tone in that blonde's voice was enough to send Clara back into her frenzied state. She was done. She was so done with Josh. She was done with Jess. She was done with everyone.
She through his gift against the wall, slipped her bag on her back and reached the door, but she couldn't bring herself to open it. Her hands were trembling furiously. Her eyes were blurred with tears. She couldn't face them. She didn't want to face anyone, right now.
"Clara, I need you to talk to me."
She had been sitting there for half an hour. That was fine. She didn't have anything better to do. It was just a little boring. At least the chair was comfy.
"Why did you do it?"
He knew why. Everyone knew why. They just didn't want to admit it. No one knew how to help her. If they did, she wouldn't have had to suffer through it for so many years.
She fiddled with the sleeves of her shirt. The same questions over and over again. It was infuriating. She just wanted to be left alone, in silence.
"How have you been sleeping?"
"Fine," she mumbled. "Better if I could go to bed, right now. Maybe I'd never wake up and you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore."
"You know that is not what I want." Dr. Hill glanced up from his notes. "How often have you been taking your medication?"
She didn't reply.
"The sleeping pills?"
"I can't sleep without them," she confessed. "I need them. I need them. I keep seeing their faces when I'm awake. I see them when I sleep, too. They don't rest and they don't let me rest. Only the pills can make them go away."
Dr. Hill closed the folder. "That's good for today."
"Clara?" A soft, remorseful voice snapped her out of her reverie. "I'm sorry."
When she opened her eyes, the person staring back at her was the man she had met several months ago at the office. "Josh?"
"I'm sorry," he apologised, again. "Don't go."
She swallowed hard. "Why am I here, Josh?"
"Because I need you," he whispered. "I'm different when I'm with you. A good kind of different."
"Then don't push me away." She was an idiot. Why couldn't she deny him anything?
He stroked her hand. "Okay."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I know I said I wasn't going to deliberately look for quotes from the game, but that "sluttiness" quote is amazing. In regards to other places, I try to grab what I recall from my memories: What they say, what happened in terms of finer details, because I did end up making a very rough outline of the game's plot and what time everything happened in because it's not all linear.
I've also incorporated some of Clara's past to give her character a little more depth. There will be more of that as the story progresses.
The last chapter, I didn't get as many feedback as I hoped. I really love hearing from you and it helps me with my writing, especially when there are some constructive criticism or maybe what you think of the story and characters so far. I hope I haven't made any too out of character, it's always something I battle with.
I'd love to thank PorcelainPuppetLady and VoldemortsBFF for your reviews. I've read them a couple of times to keep me writing. VoldemortsBFF, I assure you things will start to escalate soon. I'd predict in the next two or three chapters.
Thank you also to all of you who have favourited and/or followed this story. It brings me joy to get those email alerts and I'll admit that I do check every few hours, 'cause I'm a bit obsessed. Teehee.
Echo