Author's Notes: If you actually noticed the pen name change, keep calm and read. It's still me.

The First Date Resurgence

III. The Girlfriend Recovery

The night's dinner at hand, Penny opened the door to Apartment 4A. Mashing the buttons to the sounds and special effects of Halo were Sheldon, Raj, Howard… and Bernadette.

"It's Halo Night?" She asked, confused, setting the boxes of sushi on the coffee table.

"Of course not," Sheldon snapped. "It's Anything Can Happen Thursday, a fact you should be aware of if you had familiarized yourself with this apartment's timetables."

"And you're playing Halo?"

"It's Anything Can Happen Thursday, so we can play Halo even if it's not Halo Night." Bernadette chirruped, flicking her thumb on the controller. A thunderous explosion reverberated from the TV and Raj screamed voicelessly.

"You're getting really good at this," Howard gushed.

"Where's Leonard and Ammm…" Penny dragged her words when Raj, Howard, and Bernadette all flailed desperately, putting fingers over pursed lips and clapping hands over mouths. "…my…"

"Amy has been invited by the senior Dr. Hofstadter to a fund-raiser ball. And Leonard tagged along, even though as a physicist, he has no business being in an event being held for those involved in neuroscience." Sheldon smashed at the buttons.

Amidst a series of shots and explosions, Raj threw up his hands in frustration, teeth bared.

"He's doing an even better job of beating them than you are," Howard sniggered to Bernadette, who nudged him reproachfully.

Penny opened a box and picked a California roll, popping it in her mouth and chewing mechanically. She swallowed, a clump of rice nearly sticking in her throat. "Wow… Beverly really likes Amy, huh?"

"Of course she does," Sheldon hissed. "Why wouldn't she? Amy is extremely intelligent, aesthetically appealing, and she's the most interesting—no, fascinating, person I have ever known…" then he muttered under his breath, "and also far too charming for her own good…"

Fingers never leaving the controls, Bernadette glanced alternately at Sheldon and Penny. "Do you both think Beverly is serious about wanting Amy as a daughter-in-law?"

"I don't know," Penny sighed. "I—I thought Beverly and I really made a connection before, you know? But I guess now that Amy's here, Beverly prefers her…"

"You guess?" Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Were you even listening to what I said? Given all her outstanding qualities, it's only logical for Dr. Hofstadter to prefer Amy."

"Hey," she frowned. "Just because you prefer Amy, doesn't mean Beverly has to. Leonard did choose me…"

He snorted derisively. "Please don't compare us intellectuals to somebody like Leonard."

There was another deafening explosion; Bernadette cheered, Howard kissed her, and Raj clapped his hand against his forehead. Penny observed the TV and deadpanned: "The forecast didn't say anything about raining Sheldon today."

"This is ridiculous!" Sheldon threw down the controller. "It's ridiculous to be playing this while Amy is… Amy is… this is ridiculous!" He stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door.

Penny looked pointedly at Raj and Howard. "Come on, aren't one of you guys getting him?"

Raj whispered to Howard, who nodded. "Yes… since Leonard's not here, the happy responsibility falls to you, Penny."

"… Might as well get it over with." She stood up and marched out after Sheldon.

She found him slumped on the very last step at the first floor landing, eyes downcast and shoulders drooping. She sat down beside him and asked: "Penny for your thoughts?"

For the second time, he snorted derisively. "It's highly unlikely that 'Penny' would be able to comprehend much less appreciate the thoughts produced by my advanced mind."

"Look, just tell me what's your take on this Lamy thing," she cried exasperatedly. "It's obviously bothering you…"

"Bothering me? This lame-o 'Lamy thing' you speak of is an illogical anomaly. If I were to be bothered with every illogical instance in this imperfect world, why, I'd be at my wit's end!"

"You mean you weren't already?" She smirked, a bit relieved that he still had it in him to glare at her. "And what do you mean by Lamy being illogical?"

"Penny, even the senior Dr. Hofstadter admits that Amy is much too good for her son; Leonard isn't intelligent enough, or interesting enough, or physically attractive enough, and based on his relationships so far, isn't boyfriend material either."

"Hey!" She pouted. "I like Leonard—for me, he's definitely good enough."

"My point exactly."

She rolled her eyes.

"And if he really is as great as you say, then why are you just sitting here, instead of staking your claim as your primitive instincts tell you to?"

Penny opened her mouth, stuttered, stopped. Finally, she shrugged. "Well, they're at that fancy scientists event, I don't think I should get in the way. Beverly adores her, and they had that first date which wasn't totally terrible like all their other dates at that time… kinda makes me a liiiiiiiittle part of me wonder, if… maybe they're meant to be."

Sheldon froze, then narrowed his eyes at her. "Exactly the kind of New Age hokum to be expected from somebody who believes in astrology and psychics." He rose to his feet. "You can give up like that, it's understandable, since you're only giving up the tedious homunculus that is Leonard. But I won't—for me, it's Amy who's at stake here." He squared his shoulders and his mouth hardened into a grim line.

Her eyes widened, dreading the worst. "What are you planning to do?" When he rushed back up the stairs, she followed, determined not let him out of her sight. "You better not pull some death ray crap on my Leonard!"

Amy sidestepped out of the way, successfully avoiding Leonard treading on her toes, which along with the rest of her feet, were already suffering in the brand new strappy stiletto sandals she never had the chance to use before. She knew that not everyone could be as universally skilled as her boyfriend, but even with her leading him, Leonard really wasn't shaping up into much of a dancer.

"I'm sorry..." he said, for the nth time, when they collided into each other as he turned the wrong way.

"Didn't Penny already tell you to stop saying sorry for every little thing?"

"I'm sorr—I, I'm just getting the hang of not saying it so much around Penny, I need some time to get out of the habit," he explained wryly. "Maybe we should just sit down."

She shook her head. "Didn't you hear your mother? She's counting on us to bring the fun to this event, we have to entice everyone else into the dance floor."

"I'm surprised you even agreed to this," he asked, twirling her awkwardly. "I mean, Sheldon's already jealous that I was your first date and my mother is trying to matchmake us..."

"I understand that for the good of science, even respected scientists must socialize with the financially wealthy, tiresome as they may be, to secure funding." She tilted her head, puzzled. "And why should he be jealous? Considering my opinion of you, that is."

The music changed to a slow piece; Leonard kept one of his hands holding to hers and switched the other to her waist. "... Which is?"

"I have revised my opinion of you being completely tedious, though you're still far from being as fun as Sheldon. I find it regrettable that your awkwardness belies your passable intelligence, and you just don't do anything for me."

He cringed. "Gee... thanks, for at least thinking me less tedious now..."

"Besides..."

"Besides?"

"You're my bestie's homunculus. And I'm in a relationship with a guy like Sheldon, why would I even consider any other men?"

"And... he's the best?"

She nodded. "He sure is."

"Seriously, what did Sheldon ever do to land a girl like you?"

She swatted his arm sternly. "Please Leonard, I know I look especially ravishing in this cocktail dress and torturously fabulous sandals, but we're both dating each other's best friends."

"I only meant that you have such sincere feelings for him..." He cocked his head and stared from her crystal barrettes to her beaded neckline. "Though, you do look amazing today."

"Thank you, but my eyes are up here." She snapped her fingers at his face.

"I wasn't look—I didn't mean—sorr... er," he coughed.

"Having fun?" Beverly asked, in a voice that clearly wouldn't tolerate otherwise. She was dancing with a wizened little gentleman who reeked of money and had the blissful expression of one whose mind was on vacation.

"We're good..." Leonard mumbled, inching away from his mother.

"Your uptight attitude has always been your weakness. If you require the psychological crutch that is alcohol, take advantage of the open bar. There's a lot riding on tonight." She tilted her head in Amy's direction.

"Mother," he whined. "This isn't... whatever you want it to be."

"Definitely not," Amy seconded. "I'm here strictly to assist your center in the acquisition of funds."

"A few bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon should help alter the current situation," Beverly Hofstadter said.

"Let's move as far away as possible," he whispered to her.

She nodded. Lucky for them, a waltz played next, and she led them whirling across the dance floor, until they were right in front of...

"Penny." Amy blinked at her bestie, who was blinking back, gaping. Beside her, Leonard was stammering.

"Hey, you guys... Nice tux." Penny smiled at Leonard. He grinned widely. "And you look smoking Amy! I knew you'd get some use out of that dress." Penny looked her up and down.

"Thanks... uh, Penny, what are you doing here?"

"Oh that!" She looked round with hawk eyes. "I was following Sheldon, he kind-of-sort-of snapped, and I was scared for Leonard..."

"Why?" Leonard managed to choke out.

"Because he's got this big-ass sword and..." she eyed Leonard's and Amy's still entangled arms. "You might not want to do that."

Amy pushed Leonard away. "Oh this, this is nothing—I mean really, I'd much rather have your hands on me than his." Penny wrinkled her nose.

"You're not getting anyone else's hands on you, Amy Farrah Fowler!"

The declaration was punctuated with the clang of metal. They all turned to find Sheldon standing next to a marble pillar at the corner of the dance floor, replica of Longclaw at hand. He banged the sword against the pillar again, then glided across the ballroom, grabbing Amy by the wrist and pulling her against his chest.

"Sheldon, what—"

"You may have had that fated first date and the stars might have schemed to reunite you again, but as excitable anime heroes would say, screw fate—I make my own destiny!" He yelled. "I already told you, she's not for you—because she's mine!"

"Hoo..." she gasped, then clapped her hands over her mouth. The music had stopped and the scandalized guests gawked at them. "Oh no..."

"Bravo!" Beverly's little partner crowed and applauded excitedly. The other guests hesitated before following suit.

"Oh yes," Beverly clapped. "Wonderful entertainment. Part of tonight's program of course."

Sheldon leveled the sword point between Leonard's eyes; both Leonard and Penny gulped. "If you wish to take my lady, you will have to defeat me."

The shorter man shook his head vigorously and put up his hands in surrender. "Oh no, I give up, there's no way I can ever do that."

"Yay, the Princess is saved!" Penny squealed, clapping nervously. When Sheldon lowered the blade, she heaved a sigh of relief.

Sheldon focused on Amy, capturing her with his earnest, blue-eyed gaze. "Let's go," he said, absently tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, too breathless to speak, and allowed him to lead her away. Remembering about their friends, she looked back at Penny and Leonard.

Beverly was saying to them: "Well, that's a waste of a ball ticket, she hadn't even gone to the buffet yet. Why don't you join us instead, my dear?"

"Me?" Penny fidgeted, tugging at her jeans and fluttery blouse. "But I'm not dressed for the occasion..."

"With that face and body, nobody's going to be looking at how you're dressed."

She beamed, meeting Leonard's equally bright gaze.

Amy lost sight of them when Sheldon whisked her out of the double doors.

Author's Notes (again): Thank you, reviewers and lurkers and all readers alike, for reading this, for your encouragement, and your patience for this not too timely update. Please look forward to Part IV!