A/N: Thank you for all your lovely reviews. It's been awhile since I updated either Soon Enough, or this, but I've had a crazy month, with school and swimming. I turned 15, yay!

Ok, I will stop rambling and give you the update. Thank yous are at the end.

(For fans of the BN friendship, you're in for a little treat).

Chapter 3

The Funeral

I'm coming up only, to hold you under

I'm coming up only, to show you wrong

And to know you, is hard we wander

To know you all wrong – we won

Really to late to call so be waiting for

Morning to wake you, is hard begun

To know me as hard, be goin' mad

Is to know me all wrong, be mud

And every occasion ill be ready for the funeral

Every occasion once more its called the funeral

Every occasion of im ready for the funeral

And every occasion of one billion day funeral

- Band of Horses

She's lying in her hospital bed, absentmindedly doodling with sharpie on her cast, when Brooke and Haley walk through the door.

"Peyton." Haley's voice sounds relieved as she moves quickly across the room and sits down next to Peyton on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

She doesn't want to whine – she doesn't. She doesn't want to tell them that she feels like shit – that she's been whacked out on painkillers for the past five days. She looks at Haley, who seems so concerned, and for a minute Peyton considers dumping all her problems on her. But then her gaze leaves Haley's – it travels to the brunette standing in the doorway.

"Hi girlie," Peyton says and Brooke drops her gaze to the floor. Peyton inspects her best friend. Brooke looks exhausted – dark circles line the bottoms of her eyes. She's wearing no make-up and her hair is pulled back in a messy bun. One of Lucas' sweatshirts covers her torso, and even though in a way that makes Peyton feel lonely, it also comforts her. This means that Brooke and Lucas are okay.

Brooke cautiously steps over to the two other girls. Peyton shifts her weight and Brooke sits gingerly down on the opposite side of the blonde. There is a silence between the three girls, and then Haley stands.

Haley knows the connection between the two girls, and she knows that their friendship existed long before they knew Haley. So she decides to give them a moment, and leaves the room.

Brooke finally lets herself look at Peyton, and all of a sudden she's crying. Peyton's expression softens and she pulls Brooke into a hug. Brooke clings to Peyton's hospital gown and the bed wracks with the brunette's sobs.

Brooke feels stupid and childish to be the one needing consoling, but the constant nagging anxiety that's been keeping a firm grasp on her for the past week comes pouring out. When she finally pulls away, a single tear slips down her face as she whispers in a low voice: "I'm so glad you're okay."

Brooke stays with Peyton for only a few more minutes. The blonde's speech keeps trailing off due to her medication, and Brooke is anxious to get back to Lucas. She leaves Haley with Peyton, and makes her way out to her car, which is parked at the very end of the parking lot.

Though she doesn't realize it until now, a year ago today she was at this very same hospital. But 365 days ago, she had a very concerned Lucas following behind her, badgering her about what the doctor said. Back then, at that moment, she had felt more alone than she ever thought possible. And she hasn't felt that lonely again until today.

It's stupid, really. She has Nathan, Haley, Peyton, her entire cheer squad, all her friends from school. But she's missing the one person that can fill that aching hole inside of her, the part of her heart that was ripped away sometime around the time her parents left her alone.

Lucas isn't physically gone, and in a way, they're more "together" than they ever have been. But he doesn't look at her anymore, he looks through her. And she wants him to want her, not to just need her.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

Brooke hasn't used the front door in awhile – she's just been coming and going through Lucas' room. But when she pulls up to the house, his blinds are pulled down and she considers the possibility that he might be taking a nap. Not wanting to disturb him, she pushed open the main entrance of the house and steps into the cool foyer.

The murmur of the TV meets her as she unzips her jacket and hangs it on the coat rack. She here's an obnoxious laugh track, and steals a glance into the living room.

Lucas is sitting on the couch, zoned out in front of Friends. Normally Brooke would cuddle up next to him and watch too, but it's almost as if there's an invisible barrier now, preventing her from touching him, or being with him.

He hasn't held her since he spent the night at her apartment. He probably would if she let him, but Brooke hasn't been sleeping much lately. She tosses, and turns, gets out of bed, rolls over. It's gotten so bad that she's started just going out to the living room and trying to fall asleep, with no success.

Instead, Brooke retreats to the kitchen, takes out the mop, and begins to clean again. She doesn't really realize that she's making a lot of noise, and taking out her frustration on the linoleum, when the TV switches off, and Lucas appears in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Leave it," he says, his voice scratchy and unused.

"It's fine, Luke," she responds.

"No, it's not." He walks over to her and tries to take the mop out of her hand, but she keeps a firm grip.

"It's fine."

"Brooke! Just stop!" he yells, and she drops the mop, startled. "This isn't helping!" He gestures to the kitchen. "This isn't going to bring Keith back!"

"What do you want me to do, Lucas?" she asks, and almost feels bad about the way she spits out his name. Hot tears of anger roll down her face. "I don't know whether you need me, or whether you need me to leave you alone!"

He opens his mouth as if he's going to say something, but then shuts it. He tightens his jaw, and for the first time in a long time, he looks at her.

Lucas steps forward, grabs onto her arms, and lets his lips crash onto hers. Brooke doesn't respond to the kiss, just lets him pry her lips open with his. And it doesn't last long – maybe only a few seconds, before she pushes him away forcefully.

"No." She doesn't say anything else, but that short, sharp word, cuts the silence like a knife. And for the first time in a long time, she walks away. Wordlessly, she retreats to the hallway, grabs her coat, and leaves the house, closing the door firmly behind her.

When Brooke leaves, Lucas stands in the kitchen for a few seconds, before rushing to the window. Peering out of the curtains, he sees her walk determinedly across the lawn to her car. She pauses, fumbling to find her keys in her coat, but then slowly crouches to the sidewalk. For a minute, he thinks she's dropped something, until he sees her shoulders begin to shake.

Brooke is crying.

He wont let himself look anymore, so he steps away from the window, and slams a fist into the wall of the kitchen. "Fuck." He's angry because he doesn't feel like he's strong enough to handle this. He's angry because he doesn't know how to comfort his mother. He's angry because he couldn't save Keith. And he's angry because he made his pretty girl cry, and all he wants to do is hold her, and let himself love her, but somehow he can't.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

Brooke is sitting in her car, attempting to apply her mascara in the tiny rearview mirror. She realizes, as a tear falls onto the rough satin of her black dress, that she's more scared than sad. She's afraid to see Lucas, because she has not returned to his house since their fight – a week. Brooke's been sleeping at Haley and Nathan's for the past few nights, because she kept having anxiety attacks when she would wake suddenly in the middle of the night, overridden with guilt over her fight with Lucas, and also guilt over the fact that she hadn't gone to see Peyton again.

As she makes her way up the hill, she realizes that she's the first to arrive at the burial service. Though there are benches to sit on around the cemetery, for some reason she chooses to kneel on the dew-covered grass.

Being nearer to the earth sets a certain calm over her, and she isn't even aware of her words before they come spilling out.

"Hey Keith." She puts a hand on the ground, and feels ridiculously foolish for doing this. The casket isn't even here yet, and it's not like she believes in the afterlife or anything, but somehow this feels right. "I know you can't hear me or anything, but I just want to let you know how much I miss you. And how much everyone misses you – Haley and Nathan, and Peyton, and especially Luke and Karen." She runs her hand across the wet grass. "And I'm trying my hardest to take care of Lucas, but he aches for you so much, and I don't know what to do to help his pain." She pauses and another tear slips out of her eye. "But…but I just wanted to thank you, for saving him. I – god, I don't know what I'd do without him. And thank you, also, thank you for believing in me. You always believed in me, and I've never doubted that you loved who I was."

"Brooke." The strangled voice startles her, and she turns around, quickly standing.

It's Lucas, standing there in his suit and messy tie, and she swears she can see tears in his eyes. He extends his arm, and she lets him pull her towards him. But instead of kissing her, he lets his lips fall across her hair, wrapping his arms around her frame, and breathing in deeply.

And for a minute, everything feels okay.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

People begin to arrive, and once the casket is carried up the hill, the world slowly begins to fall away from Brooke, piece by piece. She drifts in and out of awareness, her mind wandering to distant memories of Keith. Like when Keith made pancakes for her and Lucas one Sunday morning when she "came over" for breakfast (although Keith wasn't exactly dumb enough to not realize that she had spent the night). It had been just the three of them and Karen, yet somehow Brooke had more fun than she'd had in a long time.

She closes her eyes when Lucas steps up to throw dirt over the coffin, and feels a wave of claustrophobia rolling over her, before it disappears and her consciousness returns.

Then it's all over, and people are talking quietly, descending the hill, making their way to their respective cars. But Brooke just stands there, looking at the large mound of dirt, slightly dazed. She's surprised when it's Nathan that walks over to her.

"You okay?"

She snaps out of her reverie and gives him a small smile. "Yeah, its just weird. I was trying to think of the last time I talked to him, and I can't remember."

Nathan nods. "I've been trying to remember for the past week and a half, and I can't either. I think it was the last basketball game we had, but I honestly don't know." He shrugs. "It's weird."

"Yeah…"

She's pleasantly surprised when Nathan pulls her into a hug, and wraps his arms around her. People looking in from the outside, who weren't aware of the history between Brooke and Nathan wouldn't think they were good friends. But truthfully, the veins connecting them run far before the beginning of high school, way back to when they were toddlers and their families would get together for dinner once a week. Nathan had been Brooke's first kiss, in eighth grade, during a game of truth or dare. They both had crushes on each other through middle school, and until freshman year, the two of them and Peyton were inseparable. But then he and Peyton began dating, and Nathan and Brooke's relationship sort-of fell apart.

It's easier to pretend that she doesn't miss him when they're not hanging out. But in moments like these, when he hugs her, and is so insanely protective over her (in an older brother kind-of way), she wants to take back the prior three years of high school when she shut him out.

Then the hug is over, and Nathan kisses her head, and disappears to go find Haley, and Brooke's attention refocuses on the other Scott. The broody blonde, who, she sees, is currently fumbling to open his car door.

Brooke descends the hill quickly, and sees Karen already sitting in the backseat, staring blankly out the window. Lucas' hand is shaking so much that he can't fit the key in the lock to the driver's side door, so Brooke gently takes the keys from his hand.

Lucas doesn't even object, just crosses to the passenger's side, and opens the car door. Brooke slides into the drivers seat and starts the car. With every turn of the car wheels, they are taken further away from the cemetery, and with every turn of the car wheels, Brooke can breathe a little better.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

Cas (imnotmark): This space is reserved for you when you actually review. Until then, it's staying blank. (I still love you).

Linkie: You come first because your review was PHENOMENAL. Thank you so so so so so so much. I love getting big fat long reviews. 3 they make my day. You nailed my exact emotions and what I wanted to portray with the last scene. YAY!

Jeytonbrucasnaley (Chey): CHEYBABE. My muse, my lovely one, my twinny poo writer girlie (shall I stop?) Thanks for the review babe. ANGST PATROL FOR LIFE.

FinallyPJ (Ali): Hunny, you know I love you and your loyalty to my fics. Thanks for the review, doll.

B. Davis: Cami! I love you. And I'm glad you liked the last scene, it was my favorite scene to write, possible ever. And we know Markie's a deusche bag.

Dolcegrazia (Leah): Love you babe. And I'm glad this pulled you in more.

lucas4brooke4ever (Vicky): I love you! Your so cute. Thanks for the review doll.

Broody-N-Cheery-4Ever (Brit): BRIT! I love you! Thank you for the review, and I'm so glad you liked the last scene.

Riley06: I agree. They totally should have focused more on Brooke on the show.

Clanaforeva: I wanted the story to be a little darker, so I'm glad you noticed that.

whiters Yay! For Blue Skies 3

brucas333: I think we all forgot about Peyton….lmao 3

jc4127: I decided to keep it all in Brooke's POV, and I'm glad you noticed. She is an integral character that should have been focused on more after Keith's death.

sweetestsin1223: Thank you so much! It's so nice to hear when people tell you that you've got the character's emotions in check. ;)

brucasbrathanbaleybrachel: I always remember that you review my fics cause of your ridiculously long amazing username. I love you for your loyalty! I'm glad you liked the last scene.

awhero: Another loyal reader! You read my other fics too, right? Thank you so much for the lovely review.

HalesnLukeBFF4ever: I'm glad that you're reading the fic, even though you aren't a hardcore BL fan. BH are cute, I love them too! I want some more BH later in the story, so you may be in for a treat.

Brucas True Love, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, MalibuBarbie253 , broodyprettygirl, wtlozy , Brucas2006, brucasforever77, catcat51092, brucas224, princetongirl, B.P.Davis: Thank you all! You reviewers are what make my day.

SORRY IF I FORGOT ANYONE.

Review because you love me. And I love you all too ( if you review ).