Vulnus

Chapter 03: Once Upon A December

A/N: Thanks AllforLoganBTR & squoctobird for your AMAZING reviews. They really mean a lot to me! This chapter I would honestly deem as an important filler; it doesn't do much to the plot at this moment, but it sort of sets the stage for future events that are sort of important. I hope you like it and please give me any feedback to improving on my writing! This was written in June 2011.

Logan sighed as he walked out of the cafeteria. His day was going uneventfully; he had not talked to Vulnus for several periods now, and he was feeling clammy and warm. His head was dizzy, and his eyes were begging to be closed. His body trembled slightly, as Logan sped toward the bathrooms. He quickly located the room for men and locked himself in one of the dirty stalls.

He wanted to laugh sardonically as he looked at the dirty bathroom stalls. They were like him; lonely, ugly, and scarred. However, Logan was not afraid of scars. He viewed them as symbols of strength; his prizes from the war he had to face. He was in a worst position than Germany; he was not facing a two front war, but instead a five front war. He was fighting against his home, his school, his bullies, his health, and the strongest of them all, himself.

Mewling slightly to himself as Vulnus coaxed him, Logan closed his eyes and suddenly visions flooded his head. He saw Camille in her beautiful violet tank-top, in her perfect jeans waving at him. He saw his father hugging him and looking at him with pride. He saw his mother protecting him from a fever. He saw his grades being perfect. However, the last image caused him to suddenly jump out of this dreamland; he saw himself laughing along with Kendall Knight, James Diamond, and Carlos Garcia. Logan's eyes suddenly shot wide open, and only then he noticed that tears were racing with each other to speed down his pallid face.

Logan watched calmly as small blood drips hit the ground. He felt as if each blood drop was a deluge to his problems, and as they fell to the floor, he felt almost satisfied. The rush was back, and the endorphins were running rampant in his body. Logan cracked a smile through his miserable diamond exterior and quickly pulled his sleeve back to it's original stance. Silently, Logan crept out of the bathroom, and froze when he saw two kids from the hockey team walking into the bathroom. For some reason, Logan felt stuck to the spot; he wanted to see if they would notice the blood. A strange image of being rescued filled Logan's head, but he quickly shrugged it away. Logan did not need to be rescued when he had Vulnus with him.

"Oh man! Some chick had her period in here!" One of the dunderheads laughed obnoxiously as Logan felt his cheeks burn with shame. He had forgotten to wipe the blood drops on the floor, and while he did it intentionally as almost a cry of attention, he felt stupid and idiotic for believing anyone would help him. Warm tears began to threaten the exterior of his eyeballs and Logan quickly sped back to the cafeteria. He was thankful that his backpack was still in its original location at his table, and Logan sped back to his table to sit by himself. Camille must have been late to lunch, and Logan attempted to muster a smile as he waited. He felt even dumber as he continued to wait, and he felt as if everyone in the cafeteria was laughing at him. He knew it sounded silly because no one was even paying attention to him, but sometimes Vulnus invaded his head with thoughts he did not like. That was perhaps Vulnus's only vice. Logan was still in love with the beautiful red cherries that Vulnus secretly planted inside of him and would pick whenever Logan needed a savior.

"Logan?" A voice pulled Logan out of his thoughts. For a moment, Logan thought it was Camille and smiled brightly, until he saw a shimmering sequin shirt, with a miniskirt under it. Jo Taylor, the Prom Queen of Palm Woods Academy, was standing before him. Logan squinted his eyes and pursed his lips as he felt his stomach grumble. He was attempting his daily routine of starving himself. He usually never got past lunch before his resolve crumbled and he went on an eating binge. However, today he had been doing unusually good.

"First, Camille asked me to tell you that she had to work on some assessment thing," Jo spoke, as a piece of gum became visible in her speech. Logan simply nodded quietly, his cheeks burning with the thought that Camille may have been purposefully avoiding him.

"Secondly, this is for you." Jo smiled warmly, as Logan raised an eyebrow. He didn't think Jo would stoop to Kendall's level and pull a prank on him, so he looked at Jo expectantly as she handed him a decorated envelope.

"This is my annual Christmas party," Jo began as Logan's eyes widened. "And I would really like it if you came. You're probably the reason I did so well in Psychology!" She smiled, as she waved Logan a goodbye and walked over into the mist of people, as if she was some apparition.

Logan looked at the envelope, expecting it to suddenly turn into a dangerous snake and bite him. He wondered offhandedly if Camille had asked Jo to do this, but figured it wasn't so. Logan knew very well what happened at Jo Taylor's parties, and that was the only thing that kept Camille from achieving true popularity.

However, after sneaking behind his parents back and drinking with Mercedes, Logan enjoyed the burning taste of alcohol. He loved the inhibition that occurred, and the resistant to pain he began to develop whenever he was drunk.

He figured Jo was grateful for his help. He had been paired as her 'Psychology Study Buddy' from their teacher and thus had to exchange phone numbers and stuff with her. Logan was excited at first, but felt stupid after the first several texts went ignored. However, one night, as Logan was studying for one of his exams last year, he received a call from Jo Taylor. The Jo Taylor. He noticed it was three in the morning, and Logan guessed that she was presumably drunk. However, he was shocked when she was in tears and began confiding in Logan about how she had snuck out and unfortunately, she lost track of time and was now lost in what to do for her psychology project. Logan sighed, as he figured what she was going to ask him. He offered to do the project for her, and immediately she brightened. She thanked Logan several times before he hung up, wishing her a good night. Sighing, he had prepared himself for another all-nighter. The fifth one in a row...

Logan could hear Vulnus whispering to him. He almost felt as if a song was flooding his ears. It was from a movie he had watched before when he was younger; Anastasia. It was about an orphan who was actually the Princess of Russia or something. He loved that movie, and although he would deny ever watching it in fear of being stigmatized, he always wished something like that would happen; that he would turn out to be this noble prince or heroic man, and he would get everything he wanted in life.

Logan noticed still that no one was paying attention to him, and he pulled out his beaten up green composition book. He noticed the green of the book matched a certain king's eye hue. Sighing, he opened it up and found the nearest empty page to begin his entry.

Dear Journal,

I waited for about half of an hour for Roshini. I awaited her illuminating presence and I fondly desired to see her walk into the cafeteria. By one simple step of her radiance, she could brighten an entire room; her beauty could spark flames inside an entire an army; her grace was simply unheard of. She was truly the light of this world. She was the only one who could understand what I went through, if only I would let the light enter my dark cavern. If only.

However, the Queen somehow rode beside me and immediately began to talk to me. I was initially shocked as to why a Queen of her stature would talk to someone as lowly as I. However, I remained respectful and merely listened. She first fed me a line from Roshini, informing me that the Light was required elsewhere for its amazing presence.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. The Queen handed me an invitation to her Royal Christmas Ball. I was shocked beyond belief as I realized that for my noble deed last year of saving her from a horrible hex, I was rewarded by this invitation. I only hope that I could perfect myself in time for it and hopefully fit in for once.

I also recalled that my loyal steed, The White Horse, was often seen at these parties despite being an animal in the face of humans. However, I preferred animals more because of their compassion, understanding, and loyalty. I would ask my loyal steed if she would accompany me to this party, and hopefully, it would bolster my image. I must sound truly pathetic, wishing to be accepted and wishing to have my image risen.

I love Vulnus, I really do. Vulnus is in each of my heartbeats, along with Roshini. However, I cannot be with Vulnus forever. As much as I love Vulnus, if anyone finds out about our taboo relationship, everything will be down the drain. I vowed to never let anyone find out, but I'm a failure. I will surely mess up and allow someone to see the products of our relationship. Alas, all I want are guardians. I want a guardian whose power and strength can protect me from all invading attacks. I want a guardian whose hope and optimism can drive me beyond my zenith. I want a guardian whose beauty stuns all and elevates my own appearance and confidence. But I'm selfish; I don't deserve any of these guardians.

I have also successfully not ingested any sort of poisonous food that would only add to my woes. If only I can shape myself from this horrific blob of clay into a sculpture of a Greek God, I can rise above the challenge and ask Roshini to be the light of my life.

If only...