Chapter Three

My dearest, Cameron, I wish to commit self-mutilation. Please… send me a sign if you approve. I'll be waiting for your reply two days from midnight at the usual place.

Roxanne's freaky speech sent chills down my spine. Adrian seemed to have stopped his hands from trying his murder. Four days? Receiving a sign from the dead? The usual place? My head hurt from trying to make sense of the bullshit coming out of Roxanne.

"How is she going to communicate with the dead?" Adrian said grimly.

I shrugged. "Maybe Cameron isn't really dead."

"Then why does she grieve for him?"

Good point. But hell, Adrian Ivashkov proved me wrong.

Then suddenly, I woke up. The damn sunlight freaking woke me up from this really good chance to see Roxanne's intentions. If Roxanne murdered someone, it'll be the sun's fault. Yeah… not likely. Still, I did missed a pretty good chance to find out more about her. And yet, I still found out that she was attracted to Adrian because of his resemblance to Cameron; this fact kind of strangely made me happy. Maybe she'd been lying about her family being friends with the queen to cover up for her aggressive behavior towards Adrian. Maybe she hugged Adrian tightly because she missed Cameron. I mean wouldn't you want to hug your guy (or at least one who looks like him) when he was taken by death from you? I sat up and peered over at Christian's bed.

Holy Shit. This was definitely uncalled for. Wouldn't you hate to wake up first thing in the morning to find your roommate making out with his girlfriend with enough passion to make you puke in disgust? I wondered how it was the sunlight and not the kissing sounds or the psychic bond sightings that woke me up. I fell back into my bed of blankets and covered my head with my pillow and quilt. Damn, now the psychic bond starts taking effect? This was really disturbing. I turned around and tried to push the vision out of my head. I could feel Christian's hot breath on my neck. Get out, Rose, I thought. Fingers slid threw my hair and pulled my head closer. Rose, you have your own body. The fingers slid down my blouse. I am Rosemarie Hathaway. More fingers started to slowly unbutton my blouse. I am Rosemarie Hathaway. I am Rosemarie Hathaway. I am Rosemarie Hathaway!! The blouse came off and fingers searched for my bra clasp. Jesus fucking Christ!! I felt the soft thump as the bra landed on me. I was at my limits.

"Do you guys freaking mind?!" I shouted under my blanket and pillow. Neither Lissa nor Christian seemed to have heard me. Christian's shirt also landed on top of me. Now I was beyond my limits. "Goddamn it!!" I screamed as I sat up. This time, Lissa and Christian broke apart in surprise. I was too pissed off to look away.

"Sorry, we didn't want to disturb your sleeping," Lissa said, blushing crimson with embarrassment as she retrieved her clothes.

I tapped my head impatiently. "Psychic bond, remember?"

"Lissa, let's go." Christian didn't really notice my annoyance towards him. He probably only wanted to continue.

Lissa quickly buttoned her blouse and followed him out the door with a look of apology as she looked behind her at me. I closed my eyes and got out of bed. I needed to see Adrian right away.

I couldn't concentrate on any of my classes today, distracted by last night's dream. Three things confused me: how did Adrian and I get into Roxanne's dream, can Roxanne talk with the dead, and where's the usual place? Another question also distracted my mind: did Roxanne kill that Strigoi at Spokane with spirit or some other unknown method? My thoughts swam around my head as I began my guardian lessons. After class, I finally found Adrian, who was studying from an atlas and an encyclopedia. I walked over to him.

Adrian looked up from his books. "Hey, little dhampir."

"What are you doing?"

"Studying."

"I've never heard or seen anything more unbelievable."

Adrian pretended to be hurt. "Hey, play nice."

"Anyway, why are you studying?"

Adrian tilted the atlas towards me so that I could see the map.

I raised my eyebrow. "Europe?"

"Yeah. The place from last night looked like it was somewhere in Europe."

So my guess about the place's relative location was right.

"Which countries seem the most likely?" Let's see just how similar our thoughts are.

Adrian thought about it for a few seconds, glancing back and forth from the atlas to the encyclopedia. "Countries that are close to the ocean."

"Adrian, most of Europe borders the ocean." I'm still the smart one here.

"I know, but I can't quite pinpoint the exact countries."

I thought for a moment on whether I should tell him about my own guesses. Hell, why not? "I'm pretty sure the place was somewhere in Scandinavia."

"What makes you say so?"

"Well, it looked like a place in Scandinavia I studied before."

"I knew there was more to Rose than what meets the eye. Or in your case, what meets the fists," Adrian chuckled.

I ignored him. I was too deep in thought to care about his wiseass cracks. "What are going to do about Roxanne's 'meeting' with Cameron?"

Adrian looked troubled, but then the light bulb clicked. "Rose, do you like Scandinavia?"

I was both startled and confused by his question. I sighed and finally said, "Well, it's certainly better than here."

"Sounds like a plan. Pack some clothes- we don't have much time this time for a tailor to make your dress- and meet you in my room tonight at ten."

I gaped at him thinking just how many light years he was from the sane line. But then again, he's Adrian Ivashkov and he could probably fly us over to Europe in his private plane or something and get me out of school without giving me any penalties. A trip to Scandinavia with Adrian… oh hell yeah….

When I finished my guardian classes, I hurried back to Christian's to pack up some clothes. Lissa spotted me packing up and her powerful emotions poured into me. I felt really guilty. How could I leave Lissa and Christian, my assigned person? I mentally debated on whether to Lissa or not. Might as well tell her.

"Lissa, I'm leaving," I said straightforwardly. The sooner I get this over with, the better. Still I hate to hurt Lissa. And in this case, maybe even Christian, as well.

"I can see that. What's going on, Rose?" Lissa looked so concern that the guilt was almost painful.

I explained everything to Lissa and winced when I saw her bewildered expression.

"You're going to Scandinavia with Adrian to spy on Roxanne?"

"I'm not going to really spy on her!" I protested.

"Then what are you guys doing?" Lissa folded her arms across her chest.

"We are just there to make sure the Roxanne's not going to destroy the world."

"Are you sure about this, Rose? Why not let the guardians handle this?"

"Because the stupid guardians will never believe a single freaking word I say."

"Try asking Dimitri," Lissa said.

"He's one of those guardians," I countered, making sure Lissa understood what I meant.

"Fine. But I don't know anything about this." Lissa's snappy words surprised me.

I whispered, "Thank you, Lissa- for letting me go. We'll keep in touch."

Lissa's expression softened. "Promise me you'll come back in at one piece."

"I promise." I gave Lissa a hug and went back to packing.

At ten o'clock sharp, I knocked quickly on Adrian's door. He answered immediately and pulled me inside.

"Wow, you're right on time."

I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me for being the type to not usually be on time."

"No… I thought you'd hesitate because of Vasilisa…. Seeing how you guys are practically sisters." Adrian handed me a glass of some creamy-looking stuff.

"Uh… sketchy much?"

"It's just white hot chocolate. Actually, its not just white hot chocolate," Adrian said as he poured himself a glass. "It comes from the finest organic coca beans handpicked from Madagascar. Then, I added some white chocolate from Scandinavia- you know, since we're going there." A sheepish grin stretched across his face. Adrian looked really tired for some reason.

I thought he'd be excited and stuff since he finally got his time with me. Instead, there were dark circles around his eyes- ones I didn't notice this morning- and his hair was slightly matted. Then, I noticed that there was no alcohol or clove cigarette scent.

"Is spirit taking its toll on you?" I really hoped Adrian was going to be okay enough not to faint on the trip because he looks like the living dead.

Adrian gave me sleepy look and slowly nodded his head. "I wanted to smell favorable to you before the trip."

"Damn it, that's flattering, but you're so…dead you look worse than a Strigoi." My jokes just might lift Adrian's tiredness.

It worked. Kind of. Adrian's melodious and yet, tired laugh rang through the room.

"We should be going. The pilot's waiting."

"Where's the airport?"

"About four miles from here- it's a small, private airport."

Private…of course. No surprise there.

We stayed in Adrian's house for a few more minutes after we finished our drinks and left silently into the dark. Tonight was the night of the new moon so I had a pretty hard time keeping up with Adrian even though he held my hand as we flitted through the dense forest. A chauffeur who was waiting at a small airplane took our suitcases and opened the door to the place. I climbed in quickly and sat down on one of the squashy leather seats.

"How long's the flight going to take?"

"About thirty minutes."

"What airport are we stopping at?"

Adrian smiled slyly. "Don't think I'm letting you off so easily"

I gave him my man-eating smile and said, "Whatever do you mean, Adrian?"

Adrian turned to me and said softly, "That's not playing fair, Rose. I'm doing this for you so please don't run away and try on your own."

Damn. He figured it out. I was planning to make my great escape right after I get off the plane. "I won't try on my own. I'll do it on my own."

Adrian chuckled, "Rose, my dear, you're so incredibly ambitious." He scooted over a seat and sat next to me. "But sometimes, let's tone it down a bit." I stared into those marvelous emerald eyes of him, so deep and tender. Drowning into an ocean had never felt so… wonderful…enticing…and passionate?

"Adrian, what the hell!" I can't believe his stupid compulsion got me again.

"Sorry," Adrian mused, not really sounding sorry at all. He was trying to stifle back a laugh.

As Adrian said, we arrived at another small airport with a larger plane waiting for us in thirty minutes. It was about eleven-thirty and I was getting pretty tired. Just like on the previous plane, Adrian and I were the only passengers on board this luxurious plane besides the many attendants. The flight attendant on this place prepared cocktails and various French desserts; I was too tired to try them out. Adrian, on the other hand, was sipping on a mint mojito and eating an éclair. I could use a peach daiquiri myself with some crepes, but yeah, I was too tired. Instead, I tried to drone out the soft humming of the plane to catch some sleep. This flight was scheduled to take about eleven hours to an airport in Copenhagen, Denmark. I suppose Denmark was in the Scandinavian range. Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, a warm blanket and a pillow were given to me and I fell asleep for the next three hours. This time, my sleep was without Adrian's usual interruption. I was floating in a dream world- Roxanne's dream world to be more precise. It was the same place, but this time I wasn't materialized- I was like a ghost. Crazy, right? Once again, Roxanne was mourning, but this time, she was praying, too. I could barely make out her words: Please bring back my love. Cameron didn't deserve to die. I did. It's my fault. Take my spirit instead and bring him back to this world! Then I woke up. Adrian was gently stroking my face. I tried to ignore his hand.

"Good afternoon, sleeping beauty."

It was afternoon alright. The sunlight streamed through the window of the plane; I could see Denmark below us. This time the airplane landed at the Copenhagen international airport- a large one compared to the private ones we previously went to. A stretch limo was waiting outside the airport. I balked.

"The luxury's nice, but is this really necessary?"

"I thought of getting a Mercedes for us, but the back seat isn't large enough." Adrian smiled mischievously.

"Whatever do you mean?" I could only just imagine.

"Just in case you wanted to get rough we could-"

"The freaking question was rhetorical." I flashed a glare at him. Adrian smiled contently back at me. Screw you, Adrian.

When we got to our hotel, the Copenhagen Hilton Hotel, a guy took our suitcases away. Another guy dropped a pair of keys into Adrian's hands. I held out my hand, too. The guy looked at me funny. I lightly cleared my throat. Adrian looked at me and burst into laughter. I stared at him, too shocked to speak.

"You ordered one room? For the two of us?"

"Yep."

"Are you crazy?!"

"Yep."

Son of a bitch. I stomped all the way to our room and grabbed the phone of the wall. I called room service. A few minutes later, a girl came in and handed me a roll of duct tape. I ripped off a huge chunk of duct tape and stuck it across the room.

"This is my portion of the goddamn room," I growled. "That's yours." My finger shook as I pointed to the other side of the room.

Adrian swiftly tore the tape of the floor. "I hate to object against the sexy way you pout, but we're here for another reason besides spending time together."

I opened my mouth to protest, but stopped. Adrian got me there. He had a point. Sighing, I set my suitcase on a chair and collapsed on the bed. I'll unpack later. Right now, I'll need some more dreamless sleep. Sometime after I fell asleep, Adrian visited my dream again. This time it was at his grandmother's summery garden. Good. No Roxanne this time. I sigh happily. The Dragomir cross hung in its usual place on my wrist and I was wearing a white frilly sundress- definitely Adrian's pick.

"Adrian, what could possibly so important that you have to tell me through a dream than just wake me up in person?"

Adrian grinned. "I didn't want to disturb you, my sleeping beauty."

"Well, disturb me anyways because I need to wake up and I don't know how to, as backwards as that sounds."

"Wait, since we're here, why not appreciate the sun?"

"I'm a dhampir, remember? I can go out into the sun regardless of my half-vampire blood."

Adrian shrugged. "It's just nice when I also get to be out in the sun with you."

I looked at him dubiously. "This is going to sound funny, but why are you so in love with me?"

"You're a very charming person." Love didn't seem to strike Adrian as a serious thing.

"So I've been told," I noted.

"You're… different. Interesting. And of course, beautiful."

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that I'm shadow-kissed?"

Adrian looked thoughtful. "Perhaps. It certainly contributes to my interest in you, but that's not the point."

"What is the point?"

Adrian leaned in. I backed up against the willow tree.

"The point is that I love you. Isn't that enough?" Adrian's tone was startling soft.

"I guess." My lips moved subconsciously.

Then, Adrian's body began to slowly fade with the garden. The colorfulness of the vibrant red rose garden began to dim. Adrian extended out his hand for me.

"Hold on to my hand, Rose. It'll be alright."

I believed him and reached for Adrian but couldn't touch him. Our fingers grazed, but made no solid contact. Then, Adrian's body completely faded away, leaving me in a dark world for nothingness. I frantically screamed for him and almost started to cry from fear. The fear that drove me insane. The fear that drove me past insanity. The fear that I thought didn't exist in reality. The fear of Adrian leaving me. I sank to my knees in the darkness, covering my head with my arms. I started to shake uncontrollably and unconsciously. Suddenly, Roxanne stood towering over me, her eyes colder than glacial ice and her fists so rigid her knuckles were white. Confusion came upon me. Why was Roxanne in Adrian and my dream? Hell, why was she so freaking mad looking?

"Die, Rose. Just die," said Roxanne, her voice was a deadly whisper.

I cringed from her words; strangely, her words felt like daggers through my body. Her eyes grew sorrowful and distant as she held one last look at me and disappeared, leaving me again in the darkness.

"Sorry about that." A voice called in the distance. "That was not my intension to scare you like that," the voice continued.

"What are you talking about? Let me sleep." My voice was quiet, barely a whisper and raspy thick with sleep.

"I don't know what happened back there. I…I… it's as if I lost control of my own dream."

The nightmare was over. Something had occurred to me as I thought this over. I knew that because Adrian was a spirit user, I was attracted to him like the way I was attracted naturally to Lissa. But something confused me: was it more than that? Did I love Adrian? The answer wasn't a flat out no… but wasn't exactly a yes. I shook my head and fell back on my pillow. What the hell was wrong with my head? I opened my eyes. Adrian was sitting on the other bed.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to freak you out."

A hand touched my forehead. I flinched away and my eyes flew open in surprise. "Adrian, what the hell was that?"

He looked hurt by my sudden act of rejection; I touched his hand with mine to ease him up a bit.

"That was…I'm not sure. I mean I'm sure that was our dream, but I don't know how Roxanne got there."

My intuition flared. "Can you tell if she's a spirit user?"

"No," Adrian said in a flat voice, probably harboring thoughts about the dream.

"I think we should confront her."

Adrian looked at me like I was crazy. That was the first solid expression I seen him do for a while. "Wouldn't it be nice if all three of us had a nice little discussion about people's dreams in a nicely coincidental location of Copenhagen?"

"Obviously, Roxanne would suspect us of some sort of treachery against her."

"Exactly."

"So what are we going to do now? We'll never find her!" I groaned as I estimated the size of Scandinavia.

"My little dhampir, have you forgotten a little something important?" Adrian sounded sincere, not like he was mocking me and questioning my intelligence.

"Uh," I said as I racked my brains for something to say. "How about the fact that by this time back at the Academy, Kirova would've already assigned a new student in my place as Christian's guardian, since I'd be considered 'kicked out' by now."

Adrian chuckled tiredly. "That's probably true, but I was thinking more like the many connections of the Ivashkov family."

Of course. I guess in times like this having a rich guy by your side is quite useful.

"I knew that. I was just trying to up the depressing vibe that's coming from you."

Adrian stared at me. "Depressing vibe? Care to explain, my dear?"

"Well… for one thing, you're not as uh…flirty as usual."

Strained laughter came from Adrian. "That's true."

"Second, you haven't had a smoke for a long time and you don't reek of alcohol."

"Funny, Rose Hathaway is rather observant."

I threw a duvet at his head. He chuckled, but again, with labor.

"Third, you look literally like shit right now." Adrian really did- for once.

"Yeah, I know." Now even his voice was kind of dead.

I called room service again and asked for a bottle of champagne. I have to help him recover somehow. The smell of champagne seemed more appealing and pleasant than clove cigarettes, not that champagne smelled good. It was after the same lady, who came up with an expensive-looking bottle of French champagne, that I realized that this lady was probably assigned to tend to the Ivashkov; she wore designer-looking clothes with a pendant engraved with the Ivashkov family's symbol. After she left, I poured Adrian a large glass of champagne.

"Here. Drink," I ordered.

Adrian looked confused. "Feeling alright, Rose?"

"I'm fine. Drink," I repeated firmly.

Sighing, Adrian downed the thing in one gulp and set the crystal goblet down. To my dismay, he still looked like shit.

"Adrian, spill. What's going on?"

"Anemia?" Questioning yourself is not a good sign.

"When was the last time you fed?"

"About a few days ago." His words were slurred, and for once not from alcohol.

"Adrian, I was clearly mistaken when I said you were beyond insane." Not good. I could hear the sound of his teeth grinding together, fighting for control over hunger. The only question is: is the lady willing to come up on more time for service?

"Adrian, you're meal's coming up in a sec," I said as I reached for the phone again. Just as I finished making the call, Adrian tugged at my shirt.

"Adrian, you're dead on your feet. Go to sleep. Alone." I made sure he understood 'alone' as he was still tugging me.

"Wait… Rose." Uh-huh. He seriously sounded sick. Stupid lady, where was she? And then, he was on me. I felt the force of a pureblood vampire pinning me down as sharp fangs pierced the skin on my neck.

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