3. Friendship Club's Errand Boy!

Kiku went home feeling tired and dirty. He then searched something on the internet. He read books about prostitutes. He was lost and he felt like a nasty person; Alfred F. Jones...had hugged him. And instead of the American boy taking responsibility, Kiku was the one to be the errand boy.

(Of course, not all Asian are this way. Rest assured.)

"Not everyone chose this way of living," Kiku read the words on the screen. "It disgusts many, but sometimes you have to chin up and accept it. You're tainted. You'll have to live with it."

And the Japanese boy found resolution to keep on living. Despite not a virgin anymore.

(Eheh)

~.X.~

"Aiya, Kiku, more tea aru!"

"Kiku, rub my back, da?"

"Hola, Kiku! We're going to play monopoly, take care of the bank, ay?"

"Keeks! Buy me coke!"

"Okay, we're going home aru. Sweep the floor clean, okay?"

"Kiku, take my books to the next class, da?"

"Kiku, mi amigo, can you buy churros for me?"

"Dude, let me copy your homework!"

"Fine," "Yes, "Alright," "Okay," were Kiku's answers. He tried to live by the words; "I once complained about not having shoes, until I met someone without feet." He tried to be grateful—it could be worse, of course—and did his role as an errand boy.

He didn't even want to know what the hell is Friendship Club about, why does it exist in the first place and why—

"Ciao! Friendship club!" Feliciano Vargas slammed the door open and strode in. "I need some help~ Are you doing anything?"

"Hola, Feli~" Antonio stood up straight away, eagerly approaching the Italian boy. "Sure, we're not doing anything. What do you need?"

"Keeks, where's my glasses? I can't read the comic without 'em," Alfred said, distracting Kiku from listening to Feliciano. Kiku frowned at the American, noticing the glasses on his head.

He was about to say that, but then Yao and Ivan shook their head to him.

"Aiyaa, you stupid American, aru. You said you forgot to bring it this morning, aru!" Yao lied, elbowing Alfred, while Ivan took Alfred's glasses from his head.

Alfred fell silent for a while, trying to process. Kiku wanted to cry, since the boy would probably just make him get the glasses back home. Then, Ivan returned with a different pair. Or maybe the same one, but slightly different.

"But I brought a pair with the same lenses, da," Ivan offered the glasses, and Yao had to turn away to hide his laughter. "Would you like to borrow it?"

"Braginsky, sometimes you're really thoughtful, dude," Alfred grinned, taking the offer gratefully and put the pair on. "Thanks!"

Ivan just smiled and turned away, before banging the walls with his water pipe. It's just his way to...err...express mirth, I guess.

"Alfred," Antonio called. "I think you should hear about this, amigo,"

"What is it?" Alfred strode to the door and listened to Feliciano. "What can this amazing hero do today?"

"Ve, you know, Heracles and Sadik are going to use the gym for practice, but their schedules clashed," Feliciano clasped his hands. "So, being the wise man, I made the situation better by suggesting for a death match, ve!"

Alfred nodded, looking impressed. "That's cool, dude! So why are you here, then? I don't see the problem."

"I don't know, Ludwig yelled at me to call and drag someone from this club to stop them, ve!"

"You want us to stop—"

"Sadik and Heracles, ay. By the way, that's an amazing mustache, mi amigo. When did that happen?" Antonio nodded and smiled to Alfred, who smiled back, feeling the fake mustache, before dragging Kiku by the collar and pushed the Japanese boy to Feliciano.

"Okay, Feli, you can drag Kiku and tell him whatever you want 'im to do!" Alfred announced, and then grinned to Kiku. "Do your best, Keeks! I'll catch up later if I'm in the mood!" and closed the door.

"Wait, what?" Kiku shivered. "Wh-What is it? Did I...heard a death match?"

"Come on, ve~! Let's go! By the way, Jones! That's some awesome mustache you've grown, ve!"

~.X.~

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Yeah! Take your top off!"

(That one came from Elizabeta Herdevary)

There were a lot of reason not to get between Heracles and Sadik. Kiku saw them for the first time, and he preferred going home. First, both of them were big. As in muscles—what, are you thinking of something else, you pervs? Second, they were brash. And they've got horrible temper.

If Kiku, who weighed one third of Sadik's left arm, tried to stop the two from a death-match, then there would be only one death; Rest in Peace Kiku Honda. He's known as a pathetic wallflower and the Friendship Club's errand boy. So Kiku was all shivering when Feliciano brought him to the Germany Ludwig.

"Luddie~ I brought him!"

Ludwig twitched and stared at Kiku in disbelief. He then glared at Feliciano, knowing that Kiku would be useless.

"Get back there and just drag Ivan Braginsky here!" Ludwig yelled at Feliciano, before looking at Kiku apologetically. "This might be offensive, but..."

"It's alright, I know,"

"Yeah, but you're useless in this situation..."

"Thank you, I'm grateful for your consideration—"

"You want me to drag Braginsky!?" Feliciano wept and clung to Kiku. "No! No! I'm going to die if you force me to do that! Kiku, do something!"

Kiku was more frantic about the fact that Feliciano was hugging him and crying to his shirt.

"No—Don't hug me! NO! I'M ALFRED'S PROSTITUTE, YOU CAN'T HUG ME!"

The entire gym fell silent. Even Sadik and Heracles stopped beating each other for the sake of hearing Kiku's cry. Ludwig pulled Feliciano away from Kiku, who was crying about how he's even more tainted and was taking out a knife. Arthur who was in the middle of stopping the fight, noticed it and gaped.

"He's Alfred's WHAT!?"

"HE'S GOING TO COMMIT SEPPUKU!?"

"AWESOME—"

"GILBERT, GET AWAY, STOP TAKING BLOODY PICTURES! HONDA, HOLD IT—STUPEFY!"

And then the Student Council President threw his wand, stumbling on Ludwig brother's foot. His magic froze Heracles across the room, but it wasn't Arthur's magic that shocked the entire school, no. It wasn't Alfred's curse on how his bag of popcorn fell right when he entered the gym, no. It wasn't because Gilbert Beilschmidt who awesomely kneed his smartphone into pieces, no.

Because Arthur's face landed on Kiku's crotch, everyone fell silent and Elizabeta was screaming like a Belieber.

"KYAAA! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!"

Arthur shivered and looked up to see Kiku was petrified.

He's still holding that knife.

"Duuude!" Alfred doubled over. He got up, wiping his tears of mirth and approached the two petrified boys. "That's awesome! Keeks, how do you feel having a guy nearly sucking your di—"

"I didn't." Arthur deadpanned, still in disbelief with his omnifoolishness.

(Yes, it's a word now)

Kiku woke up from his mental blood cry. "What—YOU FACE-CROTCH ME, KIRKLAND-SAN, HOW CAN YOU DENY THAT!?"

"I DID NOT FACE YOUR BLOODY CROTCH, HONDA!" Arthur denied and quickly got up.

"Arthur is a rapist!" Alfred announced, and everyone shrieked.

"Yikes! President is a perv!"

"And he's gay!"

Kiku was tearing up again, looking at Arthur who was bewildered about everyone's scream. And then, the president caught his convicting stare.

"I didn't! It was an accident!" Arthur yelled.

Kiku sniffed. "Y-You have to take responsibility!"

Arthur's jaw fell. Alfred doubled over. Ludwig yelled at everyone else to pipe the hell down. Feliciano was crying. Heracles still frozen. Elizabeta taking pictures. The gym was crowded as hell. The pressure. The shame, the—

"NO!"

Arthur punched Kiku in the face.

And that's how the president joined the Friendship Club.

Sadik hummed, scratching his chin.

"What were we doing again, in the first place?"

Ludwig crossed his arms, sighing.

"W-Well, at least Honda really did stop that foolish death match..."

I can't accept requests, because I'm bad at having expectations...BUT, you may give me prompts! A movie, aliens, history, anything! I'll see to it if it inspires me~ Just type whatever random thing you want to put in the story!

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