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The Rift- Ch. 3

Some of those terrible things Ranger said- they may be true.

Steph's POV

Lester and Woody both looked at me in confusion and panic. None of the guys ever seem to know what to do when I cry; and it seemed like I had been doing that a lot lately. Just ask poor Bobby. " Steph, sit down. What the hell are you talking about?", Woody handed me another tissue as the tears started flowing like a fire hydrant. " What terrible things did Ranger say that are true?" For a moment, it was all I could do to stop crying, let alone talk. Woody and Lester just looked at me helplessly while I got myself under control. This was going to be unbearable. But the guys HAD to know. They had all been so sweet to me. They had to know why I couldn't be around Ranger- or around THEM anymore. This was going to be really awkward. I really didn't want to go through this over and over again with all the guys- best to just get it over with once.

" Look, I know I owe you guys an explanation. I have been very weepy since yesterday. " Lester sat next to me and stroked my cheek, following the tracks of my tears. " Steph, you don't OWE us anything." Lester said. "We all love you and we are just concerned about you. You and Ranger fight and then suddenly you don't want us around. And you tell us he wouldn't want us here. Based on past experience, that seems unlikely. Ranger won't talk to anyone, either We are confused, but we only want you to tell us if you are comfortable with that." I looked at Lester through my tears in amazement. I couldn't help but chuckle. I think that was the most words I had heard from a Merry Man in , well, forever.

I sniffed, wanting to avoid ever talking about it to anyone, but I knew the guys weren't going to leave me alone until they understood what was going on. I sighed. I didn't have the desire or the energy to go through this over and over again, every time I saw one of the guys. I had to do it all at once. " I will tell you what is going on, but I only want to do it once. Call Bobby and Tank and they can hear it at the same time." Woody pulled out his cell and started calling. Lester tried to get me to tell him now, but I refused. He went to pick up all the mess off the floor until the other guys came.

Half an hour later, my living room was filled with five guys in black- Woody., Lester, Hal, Bobby, and Tank. They were so huge they took up all the space in the room and seemingly most of the air. I felt like I might suffocate in my small living room surrounded by huge men. My apartment looked like a miniature dollhouse when filled with so many guys. Bobby and Hal were very solicitous and brought me water and more tissues. Then, they all sat- in silence. And more silence. Damn those Merry Men and their tolerance for silence. Finally, I had no choice but to tell them what had happened just to end the abnormal silence.

Bobby's POV

Tank and I had been on monitor duty when Lester had called about wanting to break down Steph's door. I was worried at her state of mind if she had holed herself up in her apartment. When Woody called and said she wanted to talk to us, we dumped Vince with monitor duty. Not like Ranger would notice us gone , anyway. Since the fight with Steph, Ranger was never in the control room. He was either in his office or the shooting range.

Now, Woody, Lester, Hal, Tank, and I are all seated in Steph's apartment, surrounding her like a wall. She looked like hell, with puffy red eyes and a red splotchy face. For awhile we just sat there in silence, waiting for her to talk when she was ready. She would start to talk, then stop again to sniffle. I was sitting next to her, so I reached over and rubbed her shoulders gently, trying to give her comfort and encourage her to talk. Not that we guys didn't prefer silence, we really needed to know what the hell was going on here.

Finally, she got herself together enough to talk. " Well, if you remember , the other night Ranger and I had a huge fight," she began. Like I could forget the crazy car chase and holding her while she soaked my shirt with tears. I'd probably never forget that. "Well, " she continued," Ranger had made another of his sexual innuendos at me, like he always does, kissing my neck and putting his hands down my pants. I pulled away and told him that I didn't want him to do that because I wasn't sure what I felt for Joe. Joe and I have been "off again" but I am not sure what I want with him." She stopped to sniffle again. " Anyway, Ranger got angry. Not yelling angry, but that quiet angry that he does." I took her hand and held it gently, to give her moral support. "Ranger said that he was getting impatient and that I was going to need to decide what I want. He said I have to stop having it both ways with him. I won't be physical with Ranger because of Joe, but its Ranger, not Joe that I call when I am in trouble. He lets me use his cars and his apartment, he gave me a cushy job that I mess up a lot on, and always drops everything when I need help, yet I reject his advances in favor of Joe.

I looked around the room and saw the anger and confusion on the faces of all the guys. They were NOT happy with Ranger about now. Yet, Ranger was actually telling the truth. Steph had been back and forth a lot. She did always call Ranger when she was in trouble, and Ranger always helped her. She never called Morelli to help her. Morelli never helped her, he just yelled at her. yet she constantly rejected ranger's advances becasue of Morelli.

I squeezed Steph's hand gently to get her to continue. She sniffed again." Anyway, he told me that I need to stop playing both ways and decide what I want. He says I am using him- his cars, his men, when I am in trouble or when I need protection, but then I don't want anything to do with him at other times. He gave me a job at his company and I refuse to follow the rules, like carrying my gun, and then I want to be rescued when I get into trouble. He said that I had been having it both ways with him for awhile and he was getting impatient with that. He said maybe I should call Joe next time I am in trouble and see how that works." I got angry and told him he was wrong and told him I didn't want to work at Rangeman anymore. That was when I stormed out of there. I couldn't let him see me cry. I was just hurt and angry."

She stopped and I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead. " Of course you were sweetie, Ranger was an ass to hurt your feelings that way." All of us guys looked at each other. We hated that Steph was hurt because we loved her, and we definitely still wanted her to work at Rangeman. But we couldn't really say anything because some of what Ranger said was actually true. I wasn't about to point that out, though, and judging by the embarrassed looks on the guys faces, they weren't either.

Steph looked at me and continued, " Bobby, I locked myself up to think and I realized that he is an ass for making me cry, but some of what he said is true. I Have been using what he can give me when I want it, but then going to Joe instead of him." She stopped talking and dissolved into tears. " Ranger has been unselfish with me and I have been selfish and immature with him", she said. At least , that's what I THINK she said. It was hard to tell, since her voice was muffled, her face was pressed into my shoulder and her tears once again soaked my shirt. " I got angry and told him I didn't want him or his stuff, or the job with his company anymore, then. And that's when I came out of his office and, well, you know the rest." She had managed to get the words out and now was sobbing again on my shirt. Woody, Lester , and I exchanged glances. This was bad. Steph was never this emotional and weepy. I wasn't sure what the hell we could do.

Two hours later

Tank's POV

Yesterday, after Steph stormed out, Ranger said to get her gun and her ID from her desk- that she wouldn't be working at Rangeman anymore. That was all he had said about the matter. A day later and he hadn't said anything to anyone, other than to bark orders and chew out guys who didn't follow orders fast enough for him. He had spent the time since then either locked in his office or on the firing range. That's where he was now. I should leave him alone. But Steph was in pain. And from the look in Ranger's eye- he was in pain. Except he'd never admit it. To Ranger pain was weakness, and letting yourself love someone was weakness.

I heard the even, measured shots from Ranger's gun as I entered the firing range. He stopped shooting and sat down to clean the gun. I sat across form him and watched him clean the gun. Actually, he wasn't really cleaning it- he was just stroking it, almost fondling it, as one would a lover. Ranger found holding his gun comforting, he knew guns- he understood them- they never let you down. A soldier's gun was his best friend in wartime, so it made sense that Ranger would find comfort in his guns. But it was also kind of pathetic.

I sat next to him , waiting while he loaded, then unloaded, then stroked, then reloaded, then unloaded the gun. Finally, he looked up and I was taken aback by the tortured look in his eyes." How is Stephanie?" he asked. So he knew where Bobby and I had gone. Ok, what the hell do I say? " She's hurting," I said. Ranger held the gun for a minute, went and fired a few shots at the target, then sat down again and resumed loading and unloading it again. "Did she tell you what I said to her? Did she tell you why she won't be working at Rangeman anymore?" He put down the gun and ran his hands through his hair. " I bet you all thought that I fired her, didn't you?" His voice was overflowing with more emotion than I had ever heard from him before. " I know you all love her. Whenever something happens between us, you all think its always my fault. Did she tell you SHE quit Rangeman? I asked her to stay and she quit. She doesn't want me or my company or my men. " I didn't know what to say to that. "Ranger, she said you were angry about the Morelli thing and accused her of using you." He picked up a different, shining clean gun and started cleaning it to work off some of his anger. " She stays with Morelli, yet its me she calls when she needs a car or is in trouble. Its me, not Morelli, who protects her when she is being stalked. I am the one who accepts her for who she is and all he does is try to change her. She takes from me when she needs something, but then she doesn't want to be with me- she runs to Joe and not to me." I could tell how angry and confused Ranger seemed to be.

" But didn't you tell her your life doesn't lend itself to relationships?." I asked, trying to understand his position. He looked at me and sighed. " It doesn't. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. Hell, why else would I give her car after car, lose money protecting her, drop everything when she needs help, kill for her, let her stay at my place and sleep in my bed even though I am not allowed to have sex with her? I do it because I love her. And she takes the signs of my love and then runs to Morelli."

I was surprised at Ranger's openness. That was pretty much the most he had ever said to me at one time about, well, about anything. I knew he loved Steph. I am glad he finally realized it. Too bad Steph didn't. What a colossal fuck up this situation was. I sighed. This is why I hate actually having feelings. Right now, it was probably killing Ranger that he couldn't just turn off his love for Steph. His pain was eating him alive. These two were both really confused about their own feelings and the other's feelings. I grimaced. Now I am turning into Dr. Fucking Phil. This is what women will do to you. I left the range and went upstairs to talk to the guys about this seriously fucked up situation.