Chapter 3
Mark, Amanda, and Jill were sitting at the table eating the spaghetti Amanda prepared last minute. They had always felt awkward around each other, but tonight it seemed more intense. Jill only stared at Amanda, like at any second she expected Amanda to start strangling her.
"So, Jill, how's work?" Mark asked at an attempt to ease Amanda of the awkwardness.
"It's good." Jill knew Amanda didn't like details of her work and she respected that enough not to talk about it. That's one of the few things Amanda liked about Jill. Then they heard John cry. Jill and Amanda stood up and the same time.
"I'll get him, Amanda." Jill said softly. Amanda reluctantly sat down. Mark put his hand over Amanda's on the table once Jill left.
"You okay?" He asked. She nodded. John stopped crying.
"Why is she so…I don't know! Why do I hate her? She's never done anything to me!" Amanda wondered. Though she could answer that question for herself. She didn't hate Jill. She hated herself for what she did to Jill.
"I don't know." Mark replied. He removed his hand from Amanda's as Jill came back in.
"He's asleep now." She said. Amanda smiled a little to her.
"Thanks, Jill." She said. They ate the rest of their dinner in awkward silence.
Why does she come over here? Amanda wondered. She likes us as much as we like her. It's always awkward when she's here, and she doesn't say anything. Is she that desperate for friends?
After supper, Jill helped Amanda clear the table while Mark went to feed John. Amanda was putting a plate in the dishwasher when she heard a crash behind her. She spun around to see a glass plate had broken on the floor. Jill stared at it wide eyed, then looked at Amanda apologetically.
"I'm so, so, sorry." She said as she bent down to pick it up. Amanda put a hand on Jill's shoulder and Jill looked up at her.
"Don't worry about it." Amanda said. "I'll clean it up. Go finish clearing the table." She felt like a mother when saying that to Jill. She wasn't mad. Just confused at how Jill had dropped it.
"You're going to cut yourself." Jill said as she went to pick up the glass again.
"Jill, it's fine. I'm used to being cut." Amanda said. Jill sighed and went to clear off the table. Amanda glanced at her wrist as she picked up the glass. For the most part Amanda had stopped cutting all together. But occasionally she'd slip, just a small cut on her forearm. Not enough to draw too much blood. Just enough to draw a little.
After everything was cleaned up and the table was cleared and everything was put away, Jill grabbed her coat.
"I guess I'd better go." Jill said.
"You don't have to," Mark said in his attempt to be nice. "You can stay if you want."
"No. really. I have to go. Thanks for supper, Amanda. Bye Mark." She said. Suddenly, without really thinking it through first, Amanda hugged Jill. She held Jill tightly, surprising her momentarily. But then she hugged back. She probably figured that Amanda was going through some emotional problem, but Amanda didn't really care. She wanted to tell Jill how sorry she was about Gideon. She wanted to explain how it was her idea, not Cecil's. She wanted to beg for Jill's forgiveness. But instead she gave her a sorrowful look as she pulled away. Jill smiled to her and left.
"Uh, 'Manda? Are you okay?" Mark asked. Amanda only nodded, then walked away.