Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki and Hitoshi Okuda, and are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Three Cigars, Chap. 3

Once again there was the sound of an explosion in the lab, followed by a small cloud of smoke. Moments later, a sheepish-looking Washu came into the main lab area with soot patches on her clothes and face. Ayeka looked around in amazement, for this time Mihoshi was safely playing checkers with Sasami.

"Umm . . . I think we may have a little problem with the cigars." Washu tapped her index fingers together.

"A problem?" Tenchi said anxiously. "But I thought your transmuter could duplicate almost any substance."

"Actually, biological things like plant leaves are remarkably complex." returned Washu. "Fortunately I am the universe's greatest scientific genius. The trouble is the tobacco leaves have to be aged as well. Green tobacco would be spotted immediately. I was trying to speed up the molecular motion to age the tobacco, and, well, it didn't work."

"How about that?" Ryoko smirked. "Our super-genius beaten by a handful of leaves."

"Well, if this planet were rational, they wouldn't stick those leaves into their mouths and burn them!" Washu retorted. A vein throbbed in Tenchi's forehead, but he decided not to say anything.

"Miss Ryoko," Ayeka spoke up, "it would be more useful for you to think of another plan instead of gloating."

"Oh, but I already have, princess." Ryoko looked even more self-satisfied. There's a major department store in Okayama with a tobacco and liquor section. They've probably even got imported American cigars."

"There's a major problem with that, but a non-scientist wouldn't be expected to see it." Washu was clearly getting a little of her own back. "Those cigars will be from the altered timeline. As the original timeline is restored, they'll cease to exist."

"Oh." Ryoko's mood was dampened. "Well, how long before that happens?"

"It depends on how quickly the order is rushed to General McClellan." Washu rubbed her chin in thought. "I'd say a little less than an hour."

"That should be enough." Kiyone said. "By that time, everybody should be too excited about having Lee's plans to care about a few cigars. I know if I got a map to the hiding place of a major wanted criminal," she gave another look at Ryoko, " I wouldn't care if it were wrapped around a bottle of sake."

"Depends." Ryoko said thoughtfully. "What brand of saké are we talking about?"

"I believe Miss Kiyone has a point," Ayeka chimed in. "As the orders go up the chain of command, the higher-ranking officers will assume someone in the lower ranks purloined the cigars. But it won't be considered important by then."

"You'd know about blaming the lower ranks, eh, princess?" Ryoko commented.

"Hmm." Washu thought it over, clearly not liking what she came up with. "I guess it's the only way. It won't make Sasami's job any harder, because the timeline won't change until the envelope is found."

"But how are we going to buy them?" Tenchi pointed out. "We don't have any Imperial currency."

"Who said anything about buying them?" Ryoko's smirk was wider than ever.

"Ryoko -- !" protested Tenchi and Kiyone together.

"It's for an emergency situation," Ryoko pointed out, "and we aren't going to keep them -- there won't be any record of them eventually."

"I suppose that's true." Tenchi admitted reluctantly.

"Okay, then. I'll need a look-out." Ryoko said. "Who'd like to come with me?"

"I need to help get Sasami ready." Ayeka declined. Privately, she was not anxious to put herself in any situation where Ryoko could give her orders.

"One time as an associate of criminals was plenty, thank you." Kiyone was also reluctant.

"Oh -- pick me!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "This will be a great chance to study the techniques of a notorious thief."

"Ahhh -- all right." Ryoko accepted Mihoshi's offer less than graciously. "But -- I don't care if the building falls on top of me -- you are not to give me first aid."

--------

"Stop, thieves!" yelled the leader of the three tough-looking men.

"Sorry, you're not my type!" Ryoko shouted back. Grabbing Mihoshi's arm, she scrambled up the stairs. "Didn't you see them come in??" she demanded.

"You distinctly said you didn't want to hear a peep from me unless I saw police, or store guards!" The blonde shot back.

Ryoko's free hand was on the opposite side from Mihoshi, so she settled for smacking herself in the forehead. "Well, how was I supposed to know the Yakuza would consider this place their turf?" She cursed inwardly. She'd pocketed four cigars (it never hurt to have a spare), but the thugs were blocking their exit route. Using her powers would raise far too many questions. Unless -- she took advantage of the darkness of the store after hours.

Ryoko reached the top of the stairs and dashed to the right, with Mihoshi in tow. She deliberately tugged the blonde a little wide around her next turn, and was rewarded with a stumble over a rack of overcoats. Using her strength, Ryoko prevented Mihoshi from falling all the way, and kept them going towards the Housewares section. The three pursuers weren't as lucky, and oaths rang out as the men fell over each other.

"Keep them distracted for a moment!" Ryoko whispered in Mihoshi's ear, and phased through the floor.

Mihoshi scrambled in the direction she had been going for a few more seconds, but in the near-darkness she inevitably took a wrong turn. She found herself cornered in a display of kitchen appliances. She turned to face the three pursuers. "Uh, fellows, you know you're not really supposed to be here either, right?"

"Where is the other woman?" demanded the leader, ignoring her remark.

By this time Ryoko had re-appeared a short distance behind the thugs. The cyan-haired woman gave a silent nod to Mihoshi. "Look behind you," the blonde said.

"Do you take us for fools?" roared the leader, and threw a punch at Mihoshi.

But the GP detective was not an easy target. Part of it was combat training, and part was the sheer unpredictability of her movements. The first blow missed, then the second. The third struck the side of a cabinet that Mihoshi had dodged behind. Enraged, the Yakuza seized a mixer from the shelf of appliances and hurled it. Mihoshi barely managed to duck, but the electrical cord caught on a rack next to her, swinging the mixer in a circle. With a heavy thud, it connected with the man's head, and down he went.

Mihoshi looked hastily around for the other two thugs. But they had gone down even before their leader, and behind their slumped forms stood Ryoko, twirling a heavy iron skillet. "Wow, Ayeka was right!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "You are dangerous with a frying pan!"

With a great deal of mental effort, Ryoko unclenched her fingers from the skillet and set it down gently on a counter. Tenchi wouldn't like it, she kept repeating to herself.

--------

"I'm getting really nervous about this." Sasami ventured. She looked unhappily at a strand of her hair, which had been dyed chestnut brown.

"Think of yourself as an actress in the make-up chair," soothed Ayeka. "After all, you're going to play a very important role. And here is your costume." The older princess held up a dark blue girl's dress, along with a red cloak and hood.

"Are you sure that's what they wore in 1862?" Sasami asked.

"Close enough." Washu grinned. "Trust me, they'll think it's cute."

"I have to admit I'm worried too," said Tenchi. "Shouldn't an adult be doing this?"

"No, Sasami is the best choice." Washu replied. "It's going to be a war zone, but the Union and Confederate soldiers should be chivalrous enough to let an eight-year old girl pass. A single woman at that place and time would attract much more attention." She turned to the rest of the group. "And I don't think Sasami is less mature than any of you girls."

Ryoko's eyes narrowed, and Ayeka folded her arms. Mihoshi giggled.

Washu faced Sasami again. "Ready for your instant southern accent?"

"I guess so." Sasami didn't sound at all confident, but that had never stopped Washu before. The red-head pressed the appropriate control. The wired head-band Sasami was wearing lit up for a few moments.

"There, now," Washu said, "that didn't hurt a bit, did it?"

"Well, no," Sasami said hesitantly, "but suddenly I'm hungry for . . . what are 'grits', anyway?"

--------

"All right." Washu checked off the lines on her holographic display. "You both remember the map of the area, and the drop-off and rendezvous points?"

"We remember." Ryoko said grimly from her chair. "At least this time, we won't have to worry about radar."

"Sasami, you've double-checked the basket and the envelope?" Washu asked.

"Yes, Washu, it's all there." Sasami was now dressed in the Victorian-era outfit. She looked equally uncomfortable in her chair, even though Ryo-Ohki was riding on her shoulder.

"Good. Stand by for time displacement!" Washu slid the controls to the highest point, and the two chairs began to travel faster and faster in their circular track. Tenchi and the rest watched anxiously as the energies from Washu's invention began to crackle.

"I'd forgotten . . . how much I . . . hate this part!" Ryoko managed to get out.

"Mmmyyaa!!" agreed Ryo-Ohki. And then the two girls and the cabbit blurred and vanished.

--------

Things started going wrong with the boom of the cannon. For a heart-stopping moment Sasami thought it was shooting towards her. She gave a sigh of relief when the sound of the shell dwindled in another direction. Still, it meant that the Confederate camp was still very much inhabited and active. She had to get away -- if she were caught with Lee's orders, the Northern troops would never find them. And, she might even be shot as a spy.

Keeping behind trees as much as she could, Sasami hurried away from the sound of the cannon. Several more blasts came from behind her, and then thankfully stopped. Sasami spotted a grassy slope with several trees on it. Perhaps she could get a peek at the Confederate camp from behind one of the trees.

Although it was still morning, it was already a warm late-summer day. Now Sasami was glad for the cloak and hood, which kept the sun from her head. As she went up the slope, she heard the whinny of horses from the direction of the camp. Perhaps the Southerners were getting ready to move, and the shots had been their way of unloading the cannons before entraining them. She fervently hoped so, since then she might have time to run to the abandoned camp and plant the vital envelope.

But the next thing she heard told her she was out of time. Over the far side of the hill came a song, sung by several men in chorus.

"We are coming, we are coming, our Union to restore,
We are coming, Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more!"

Northern troops! Sasami's stomach seemed to turn a somersault. They also would consider her a spy if they found the order on her. Even worse, they might believe it was simply a hoax, and not deliver it to General McClellan. Sasami made a quick decision. Taking the envelope out of her basket, she placed it in the grass, so that it would look as if it had been dropped by a passing rider. Then she scurried away, looking for a path that would lead her towards the approaching men.

A thankfully short distance on the other side of the hill, she found one. She stepped onto it, took a moment to try to get her beating heart to slow down, and then started a moderate-paced walk as though it were an ordinary day for her. In just over a minute, a group of four men wearing blue uniforms came into sight around a bend.

"Good morning to you-all." Sasami called out in a friendly voice.

"Good morning, little lady." The man in front replied. Sasami saw that he had three stripes on either shoulder of his uniform. "I'm Sergeant John Bloss, 27th Indiana. And what might your name be?"

"How do you do, Sergeant," Sasami was now close enough so that she came to a stop to continue the conversation. She remembered to curtsy instead of bow. "I'm Sandy Beecher."

"Beecher. . . " One of the other men spoke up. "Any kin to Harriet Beecher Stowe?"

"Who's that?" asked a third man, sparing Sasami the need to ask herself.

"Why, the lady who wrote 'Uncle Tom's Cabin', o' course." the second man replied.

"No sir, I'm not." Sasami answered the sergeant's question. "But my family's good Union people."

"I'm real glad to hear that." the sergeant nodded. "But what are you doing here by yourself?"

"I'm bringing vittles to my grandma near New Market, sir." Sasami mentally thanked Washu for her cover story, and lifted the cloth to show the contents of the basket.

"That looks mighty good." the second man commented. Sasami looked up anxiously, afraid the soldiers would take her food. A moment later she realized that it wouldn't matter, since there was no grandmother who needed them. But she needed to act as though there were.

"No need to be afraid, Miss Beecher." the sergeant said kindly. "We're no thieves, and we have our own rations."

"Speaking o' which, Sergeant," the second man spoke again, "we've had nothing since before sun-up."

Sasami saw her chance. "If you-all need to rest a spell, there's a field with some shade trees just over yonder." She pointed in the direction to where she had deposited the vital envelope.

"Careful, Sergeant," the fourth man spoke for the first time, "she could be sending us into a trap."

"Oh, no, sir." Sasami protested truthfully. "I heard cannon from the Southerners, but it was at least a mile further on. And the slope faces towards them, so you'll be able to see them if they come this way."

"Cannon fire, you say?" The sergeant's face took on a look like a hunting dog scenting game. "That confirms the Rebs are camped in or near Frederick. We'll have a look. Much obliged for your assistance, Miss Beecher. You take care on the way to your grandma, all right?"

"I surely will, Sergeant." Sasami waved as the four soldiers resumed their march.

--------

About half an hour later, Sasami was in deep woods, looking anxiously for Ryoko. She had walked past dozens of other Union troops on her way to the secluded area. Clearly the Northern army was on the move, and the wisest thing was to get out of the area quickly.

"Miss me, kid?" came the ex-space-pirate's voice, and Ryoko floated down from the leafy branches of a tree.

"Yes, I did!" Sasami dashed over and actually hugged Ryoko.

"Did you drop off the envelope?" Ryoko hugged back. She didn't want to show it, but she had been worried for the little princess.

"Yes, but not in the main Southern camp." Sasami answered. "I'm pretty sure the Northerners will find it, though, because there's lots of them marching this way. Let's get out of here!"

To Sasami's great relief, their return to Japan went smoothly. Ryoko returned them to Ryo-Ohki, waiting in orbit above Maryland. With no need to hide from radar, they were back over Japan in a few minutes. Ryoko maneuvered into the exact coordinates Washu had specified, and in moments they could sense the time-shifting as Washu returned them to the time they had left. Now Ryo-Ohki had to fly stealthily again, but under Ryoko's experienced piloting, they re-entered the atmosphere and were back to the valley of the Masaki Shrine in a matter of minutes.

Not long after that, the family was re-united in the living room of the restored house. Washu had checked Tenchi carefully for any time instability, and Kiyone had confirmed that Washu's crystal was gone from the cave.

"Is everything back the way it was?" Sasami asked, hardly daring to believe the danger was over.

"A very good question." Washu replied. "We've changed history, no doubt about it, and everything in this local area matches with the original time-line. But it's hard to be sure the time-line has been restored completely." Washu snapped her fingers. "Wait! I know a great way to check. And after all, we should all get to go on one field trip."

--------

The National Mall had seen its share of unusual visitors, so the group of seven apparently Japanese tourists did not attract extraordinary attention. There were a few envious glances at the only male in the group, and a few more stares at the variety of hair colors and styles. But only one person actually approached the group and inquired where they got their hair done, and Ayeka deflected the question with the name of an exclusive salon in Japan she'd had her eye on. No one thought to wonder why a party of young Japanese would walk directly to one particular structure, ignoring all the others, with anxious looks on every face.

The expressions changed as Tenchi's band climbed the stone steps to the entrance. All seven gazed in relief and satisfaction at the immense seated statue.

"You did it, kid!" Washu reached around Sasami's shoulders and hugged the little princess. Her eyes went to the inscription carved above the statue, and she read it aloud.

"IN THIS TEMPLE

AS IN THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE

FOR WHOM HE SAVED THE UNION

THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN

IS ENSHRINED FOREVER"

T h e E n d

Author's afterward: As my readers will have guessed, the background for this story is historically accurate. A copy of Lee's Special Orders No. 191, the "Lost Order", was in fact found in an envelope with three cigars by four men of the 27th Indiana, led by First Sergeant John M. Bloss, in an open field. The document was verified by Captain Samuel E. Pittman, a former teller at the Michigan State Bank . What would have happened if the orders hadn't been lost and found is something we can never be certain about, but historians generally agree that late summer 1862 was the South's "high-water mark" of the Civil War, and the British government was seriously considering recognizing the Confederacy.

Strangely, although the names of all of the men involved in finding it and rushing it to General McClellan are on record, the man who lost the order in the first place has never been confirmed. None of the couriers carrying the orders to Lee's sub-commanders ever admitted to losing their copy. Also unknown is what happened to the three cigars.