Wander had expected there to be a bit more excitement.
That wasn't to say things WEREN'T exciting. Since arriving on the large skull ship of his favorite skeleton- and after he and his zbornak companion were oh so kindly escorted to their room- the living furball had made haste and explored every inch of the suite. Wander found joy in looking through the dressers, peeking under the black cover and sheets of the bed, and reading every title of every book on the bookshelf.
Leaving the nomad, once he finished, with nothing else to do.
Meanwhile, Sylvia had been using this time to relax on the bed-stretching out as much as she could. Oh, oh yeah. It had been a real long time since she had laid on a mattress last. She might not have trusted Hater much, and pretty much just considered the suite a more elaborately decorated prison cell...But hey, she was going to take the perks from that no good zapflaggin' overlord using them for his own purposes.
"Sometimes I wonder why you bother giving that jerk the time of day, Wander." Sylvia began, lazily. "I know, I know, you're all about giving the benefit of the doubt, and yeah, I know you believe everyone has some good in them, but come on, buddy. This is Lord Hater we're talkin' about, here. Guy's got about as much good in him as... well, Lord Hater!"
When she was met with silence, rather than the enthusiastic speech she was expecting, she opened one eye, then the other. She looked around the room. The empty room. The door was ajar, and she was alone. Sylvia sighed.
"Guess I should go find him." She snuggled into the mattress beneath her. "In a minute."
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the ship, a certain scoundrel had finally found an outlet for his pent-up anger.
The little pixelated Wander on the screen screamed as the pixelated Hater zapped him with lightning, and Hater jutted a bony fist into the air, grinning for real now.
"YES! Take THAT, Waaaandeeer. You like that, BUDDY? HA! HERE'S ANOTHER!"
When the little nomad on the screen finally toppled over in a heap, and the words "DEAD" flashed across the screen in deep red letters, much of his frustration left his body with the maniacal cackle that erupted from him.
"Yes, GOOD! First time I think I've ever got him...One more round, and I'll finally BEAT this stupid game!"
Hater, after grinning widely as he watched the replay on his finishing move, twitched his fingers as he waited for the countdown to begin. The moment the counter reached zero, the skeleton began button mashing like crazy. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B. The overlord continued to press down on the B-button, as he charged up his ultimate attack- preparing himself to vaporize his pixelated enemy once and for all. He chanted excitedly as he watched the meter fill itself.
"Yes, yes, YES!"
"Well WHAT do we have here!"
The sound that escaped the overlord was somewhere between a gasp and a scream. He stared in horror at the little cretin who was suddenly, inexplicably, sitting beside him.
He continued to stare, as Wander swiped up the player 2 controller and examined it.
"Aw Hater, don't tell me you're in here playin' all by your lonesome! Here, I'd be happy to play with you."
"NO! Give me that!" Hater dove, but he was too late. The little Wander darted across the screen, and wrapped its arms around the charging skeleton in a big, warm, disgusting hug, disrupting his attack and knocking his health down to below half.
He did manage to swipe the controller away, as he glared down at Wander. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"
Hater took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Relax. He had to relax. He just had to be nice a little bit longer, and he'd finally be rid of Wander and Sylvia for good. It was worth it. It was. Worth it.
Wander, meanwhile, looked up apologetically at his host.
"Gee, Hater, I'm sorry if I was intrudin' on your alone time. I was just busy exploring your ship- I didn't know it was possible, but this place is even MORE amazin' than the LAST time!- when I suddenly started wonderin' why I hadn't seen any of ya'll since we got here. An' then THAT made me wonder if you were possibly lonely and needing your good ol' buddy Wander t'fill the void!"
The nomad looked back at the screen, where he frowned.
"And BOY, must you be especially lonesome an' needin' a friend if yer in yer room, playin' a two player vidya-game all by yourself! Oh, poooor Hater! And one with us in it too? If ya needed a hug THAT badly, I one hundred percent guarantee that the real thing is MUCH better!" Wander stretched out his arms invitingly. "Cooome on, Hater, reel it in!"
Hater recoiled from the offered hug as if it were deadly poison, and lept off of the bed. He could not take another hug. He looked down at the unwanted guest, wearing an expression he hoped looked friendlier than he was feeling.
"I don't need a hug. What I NEED, is a little alone time, to cool down, and play video games, which was TOTALLY a one-player game until YOU showed up, by the way-"
From behind him, the television began beeping, signalling that time was running out on the game. Hater spun around, his face wore an expression of panic. "No, no, no! I'm so CLOSE!" he began button mashing for all he was worth.
Wander smiled knowingly.
"Alone time, goootcha. I understand, pal. That's okay, I'll come back later then. I think, fer now, I'mma gonna explore the rest of this neat place!"
The nomad strolled his way towards the door, the sounds of Hater's game blaring from the speakers as the skeleton continued to play on. He turned around at the last second, cheerfulness exploding from him as he called out to his host- making him jump.
"LATER HATER!"
With a slam of the door, Hater was left alone once more. The overlord stared at the screen in disbelief, as the monitor taunted his bruised ego with two simple words- game over.
Hater then found himself with a very broken television, as he forcefully threw his controller at the screen.
A wide buffet of various foods from the ship's food court lay spread out on the long table before Hater, who sat slumped in his chair at the far end. Peepers had ordered one of everything from there, in hopes something would pique his boss' interest.
"Come on sir, you should really try and eat SOMEthing... doesn't any of this look good?" Peepers questioned from beside him.
Hater was too frazzled, too annoyed, too backed up with rage to scold the guy for giving him an order.
"I'm not hungry, Peepers." he mumbled, instead.
His third in command looked up at him, in what could have been taken as a sympathetic expression. It was hard to tell with a guy without a face, honestly.
"Is it because of Wander and Sylvia being on the ship? Running free, and you can't really do anything about i-eep."
The glare Hater shot at him was enough to shut him up.
Peepers sighed in defeat. "Well, I'll leave you to it." He reached up and slid the plate of fresh ribs closer to his boss, before leaving. Maybe he'd decide to nibble if he was left alone.
Hater continued his pouting...even after his third in command let him be. In all honesty, he was almost feeling...ill from his bottling of emotions- his own hate, for the first time, feeling toxic. The skeleton was used to instantly shooting his negative feelings outward, leaving HIM feeling better and whomever he yelled at feeling WORSE. So, in his opinion, his current quest was beginning to feel like more trouble than it was worth. Heck, he had a huge stack of honey barbecued ribs right in front of his face- his absolute favorite- and he didn't even have the appetite for them!
The overlord felt his stomach - or what would otherwise pass on his anatomy as a stomach- growl.
Okay, so maybe he had the appetite after all. Hater found a small smile working its way onto his face, as the skeleton stretched his clawed gloves towards the plate. He picked up the slabs of meat, ready to bite into it...when he stopped himself. Sudden paranoia struck him, as Hater searched the room for any signs of an orange furred pest.
The skeletal overlord looked to the left.
No Wander.
A quick glance to the right….still no Wander.
Hater sighed, finally relaxing his tensed body in one big exhale. He brought the ribs up to his mouth once more, fully intending on devouring every last bite.
"Whatcha got there, Hater?"
The ribs clattered back down onto his plate as he craned around, and up, to see Wander perched on the top of his dining chair, smiling down at him with that infuriatingly friendly grin.
"But how- but when- you were-"
"Well that sure is a long, fancy name for a food! How do you pronounce it again, bow-buhwen-yewer? Am I close?"
"Nice spread! Hater, you really shouldn't have."
Hater spun back around in his chair in time to see Sylvia standing on the table, downing platefuls of food at a time.
"HEY! That is MY food!" Hater bellowed, although it came out as more of a whine than intended.
"Oh, I'm sorry...Was that YOURS?" The zbornak lightly slapped the side of her face in faux-astonishment. She then shrugged it off with a smile, before picking up another plate of food- this one filled with a pile of burgers. She grabbed one off the top before stuffing it in her mouth. "Eh, these things happen. You understand, don't you PAL?"
Hater could practically feel steam coming out from the sides of his head, as his hands sparked from rage. The skeleton raised his arms, ready to fry the alien steed in front of him for the terrible insult...When he was surprised by the sudden large grinning face just inches from his own. Startled, he flinched back as his powers immediately dispersed with a small crackle and pop.
"Pssst, Hater, " Wander whispered to him, cupping the side of his mouth so only the overlord could hear him, "Did yer alone time help ya out any? You know...with yer 'playing with yerself', if-ya-know-what-I-mean? I know I sometimes need t'be left alone t'take care of things, myself. "
The expression on Hater's face was as unreadable as his feelings on this situation were mixed. He found himself pressed as far into the back of the chair as far as he could go, his instincts telling him that having his most hated, most dangerous enemy so close to his face was not a winning strategy.
He also found himself mildly surprised that Wander had just admitted to actually enjoying being alone from time to time. Well, he could cross "solitary confinement" off the list of possible torture methods.
"No it didn't help!" Hater snapped at last. "You ruined it! I was almost there and you RUINED it!"
Wander was quiet for a moment, the skeleton honestly surprised by this development. The orange ball of walking fur shyly looked away, as he cleared his thought. When he did find his voice once more, it was far too husky for Hater's liking.
"Oh, HATER. If you needed help beating it THAT badly...I would have been MORE than happy t'help you out."
Hater's eye twitched and he frowned deeply. That, right there. That was one of the many reasons why this fuzzy doorstop infuriated him so much. The way he said simple things in a tone or with an inflection that insinuated he knew something you didn't. Like Wander was a part of some galaxy-wide joke that everyone but Hater knew about and they were all laughing at HIM.
Hater's fists clenched, his teeth began to grind, his anger had reached its boiling point, here it comes, no holding it back now. He shot up out of his chair, nearly knocking Wander off the back of it, and pumped his fists in the air.
"I! DO NOT! NEED! YOUR! HELP!" he roared. Suddenly his eyes shot open, and he lowered his arms. "Uh... I mean, I still need you to get the weapon of ultimate power and stuff, but I don't, I don't need help with- UHG, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?!"
And with that, the hulking overlord stomped away from the table and out of the room, mumbling to himself, still hungry but far too angry to stay.
Sylvia had barely been paying attention to the conversation between the two, as she had made her way through not one, two or three courses...but twelve. She raised a brow as she watched the big baby leave. The zbornak then turned her attention to her companion, giving a look that practically asked: 'what's his problem?'
Wander just shook his head, a small smile on his face as he whispered one last time.
"Needed s'more private time, I guess."
Bubbles. Everything was better with bubbles. Sure, it was really hard to be an intimidating bringer of destruction when you were surrounded up to your ribcage in bright pink bubbles… But hey, Hater wasn't trying to impress anybody.
The skeleton sunk a little deeper into the bathtub of his private master bathroom, as the warm water seeped its way through his crevices and did its thing. Tension began to disappear, as all Hater focused on was how good the heat felt against his creaky bones. He leaned back, deeper and deeper; and soon all his body was submerged under the water- leaving just his eyes and horns poking out of the sea of foam.
Hater absent mindedly popped a bubble in front of his face, feeling a sense of satisfaction from its demise.
Hater immediately regretted the murder of the innocent bubble. Confusion fogged his brain as a much bigger bubble began slowly rising out of the water less than a foot away. Presumably to get revenge for its fallen ally.
This bubble was orange and fuzzy and holy mother of grob that wasn't a bubble. Two large, bright eyes surfaced, followed by a wide, toothy grin. Hater wanted to scream, but found terror had paralyzed his vocal cords, and tightened around his ribcage, forbidding him to do more than stare in slack-jawed, fear stricken awe.
The scream finally managed to claw its way out of his tightened throat, as Wander's arm rose out of the water beside him, he was clutching something, Hater cringed.
This was it. This was how it ended. Brutally beaten to death, naked, in his bathtub, by his most hated enemy, with a...
A loofah?
"Need help with yer back, Hater?" Wander innocently asked, completely blinded as his wet fur truly made him resemble a dirty mop. "I don' know 'bout YOU, but I know *I* can't always reach that far. Arms practically noodles, n' things like that are STILL impossible for me!"
Hater didn't even have a reply as he stared. Time ticked by, as the situation became more and more awkward with every passing second. And still, the skeletal overlord could only stare...and stare some more. Finally, Hater found his voice, as he calmly began to talk in almost a sing-song tone of voice.
"Waaaander, " he began, " queeestion."
"Yyyeees, buddy?"
"What. Are you. DOING IN MY TUB?!"
The drenched nomad shook the loofah, splashing some drops off its end while doing so.
"Isn' it OB-vious? I'm here t'help you relax and feel all meeellow."
Clawed hands shot out and grabbed Wander, yanking him in until he was inches from Hater's smouldering glare. He shook the sopping creature as he yelled into his face. "I-TOLD-YOU-I-DON'T-NEED-ANY-HELP!"
Commander Peepers had never been known for having convenient timing, but he'd never before regretted that unfortunate trait as much as he did at that moment in time. He stood in the doorway to the bathroom, utterly repulsed by what he was seeing. His boss, naked, with a sopping wet Wander inches from his face, were they about to kiss or what, oh ew, so ew, he did not get paid enough for this.
He not only averted his eye, but held both hands up to shield his peripheral vision, as well, as he cleared his throat.
"Uh... Lord Hater, sir, we're approaching Aurona. Just thought you'd like to know, so, whenever you're... done here. I'll just. Sorry."
It was the quickest exit he had ever made; he was already scurrying back down the hall.
"Sheesh, I didn't realize 'being nice' to the guy involved... whatever that was." he muttered to himself.
Back in the crowded bathtub, Hater was just beginning to realize how...compromising the whole affair was. Immediately releasing Wander, he used one hand to cover up his chest, as he pointed a bony finger towards the exit his third in command had just ran out of.
"Out, " Hater cried. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"
"Sheesh, sooomebody should have had a nap instead. But, okey dokey! I wanna go see what this 'Aurona' looks like anyway." With a big splash, the nomad climbed out of the tub- bringing a large portion of the water with him. He made sploshing and squeaking noises with every step- the skeleton realizing that Wander had been wearing his shoes the whole time. Once at the opened entrance, the nomad turned back around and waved.
"See ya when you get out- later Hater!"
Leaving Hater completely alone. Officially these were his last remaining moments of the closest thing to "peace" he had since starting his trip, before he was forced to do the same song and dance all over again.
He honestly didn't know who's sweet demise he was wanting more now: Wander's?
Or his own?