Chapter 3: Meet the Mario

The walk from the site beneath the pipe was lengthy and a tad awkward, but the ground was flat, so that was a nice change of pace. Adrian followed alongside Parakarry, who was silent for the most part but would ask the occasional question. What's your name? Where are you from? Is your hair natural? What is all in that backpack? Each response was careful and to the point, trying to avoid further curiosity.

"Adrian." "Out of town." "Yes." "Personal stuff."

Matters weren't made easier by the fact that Adrian himself was full of wonder and a thousand inquiries, which he told himself he couldn't ask because of how obvious it would be that he both knows too much and nothing at all about how this world functions. If he got the chance though, he would ask them to Mario personally.

'Gosh… Getting to meet Mario in person…' He scoffed inwardly at this thought. 'Man, this is like a fever dream. Meeting the hero of this world's universe, and he used to be just a plumber. I wonder if-'

"We're here!"

Adrian snapped to attention, eyes roving his surroundings quickly. They were standing in a still fairly wooded area, but it opened up to a cobbled path leading through a broad eggshell colored gate. With dirty glasses, he couldn't read the sign over the archway at this distance, but something was familiar about the architecture. He started toward the path, only to have Parakarry tap his shoulder.

"Oh, no, we're not going through town! You want the direct route, don't you?"

Turning 170 degrees to his left, Adrian spotted what the parakoopa had implied was his real destination. He hadn't seen the pipe embedded face up in the dirt as it blended in well with the adjacent shrubbery. Great, another warp pipe. As if his first experience with one wasn't traumatizing in any way.

"Uh… Please tell me the other end of this thing is at least on the ground?" He shuddered, a little pale, but cautiously stepped forward. It would be less stressful to go through town, he figured, but he chided himself for trying to disregard how important it was to not waste time (and not attract more attention than necessary).

"Of course it is! Don't worry, the farthest you'd fall from this one is maybe half a meter at most! Just keep your feet beneath you and you'll be fine." Parakarry gave him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. "Anyways, it was nice to meet you, Adrian! Stay safe and give Mario my best. Farewell!"

Adrian was still shaking as he bid the mail-parakoopa goodbye, assuming he was off to find his lost parcels or get to a post office. Now alone, he stared down the lightless chute of green and inhaled deeply. With a few false starts, he eventually psyched himself up enough to climb over the rim of the pipe and slowly ease his legs down until he couldn't even see his feet in the inky black depths, then finally decided 'Screw it,' and threw himself in the pit, biting back a scream.

The ride this time around was much quicker, and Adrian had heeded Parakarry's advice about keeping his feet under him, but somehow he found himself launching feet first out the other end, a couple feet into the air and then plonking down on his rear onto more grassy earth. His eyes were closed the whole time out of reflex. When he did crack them open, a wave of recognition and nostalgia washed over him, as well as excitement.

There stood the Mario house, complete with the brown letters that spelled it out on a sign affixed over the front entrance, the yellow diagonally clad walls, green front door, red terracotta plated roof and simple wood porch. There was a small stack of thin, straight jade pipes in the side yard, a fence around the property, and a cute little house-shaped mailbox- white with a blue roof- by the front walkway. Adrian had to admit, as much as he adored this design, he was confused why the simple cottage from the Paper Mario franchise would be the one that Mario really lived in, but he didn't have time to ponder.

Dusted off and gladly unhurt, he treaded lightly up the stairs onto the deck, gazing wide-eyed at that old lime-rind shaded door. There was a rather new looking buzzer plate bolted into the doorframe, what must have been installed recently. Adrian reached one twitching finger to the button and pressed it quickly before he lost his nerve. Resounding from inside the house, the bell rang out an upbeat eight tone melody that, if he recalled correctly, was the short jingle from Mario 64 that played when you collected a power star... Wait, that tune also played when you got a power moon in Odyssey, how had he never noticed that until now? No time.

Stalk-still, ears keened to hear movement coming closer. The muffled sound of heavy boots on hardwood steadily increased in volume. Adrian was trying not to tremble, peering up a little higher than his line of sight, expecting to see someone of greater stature on the opposite side of the threshold- 'Oh yeah, Luigi also lives here, right? Did I really forget about him?' Lost in thought for the umpteenth time, he barely noticed the door swing inwards until the top of a red hat entered his vision.

A beat of silence passed with Adrian looking down into two ocean blue eyes, unable to breathe, and Mario blinking back at him, an overly expressive face conveying surprise and interest. It seemed like he was going to ask something but immediately rescinded the idea.

"Damn, you're as tall as me" was the first (unintelligent) thing that found its way out of Adrian's stupid and incredibly dry mouth, followed by "That's a surprise."

At the root of things, he wasn't wrong; Mario appeared to be his height, give or take an inch that could factor from the thickness of his boots' soles or where his hat ended and his head began. The ex-plumber also had stockier arms and legs and his midsection was rounder, but the only real pudge on him was just in his cheeks- or perhaps his nose. There was a temptation to grab that schnoz and give it a honk like a bicycle horn. Adrian had to shake his head to rid himself of that compulsion.

"Wha… What did-a you just say?" Mario was very clearly taken aback by the choice of words put out by this stranger on his doorstep. A human stranger at that, of which there were few in this world and he was sure he knew them all.

Adrian immediately fumbled and blundered to salvage his foolish first impression. "Oh, no, I wasn't calling you short, I just- I didn't think you'd be as tall as me- er, I mean, that I would be as tall as you! I'm sorry…" He pulled a bang of his hair down over his face, just wishing he could disappear. The opportunity of a lifetime and THAT was his introduction.

"Nononono," Mario took one step, shaking his head and swiping his hands through the air, one over the other, "You said… 'Damn'."

'Aw, crap, I did, didn't I?' Adrian covered his mouth with both hands and reeled back to the point of almost falling from the top step of the porch.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- I don't wanna offend you, I…" He stared hard down at his own dusty boots, pulling his backpack tight against him like a protective shell, trying to muster up a method of starting over. Before he could though, he heard a warm, cheerful laugh. He stole a glance up to see Mario chuckling and leaning on the doorframe.

"Oh-ho… You're not-a from here, hm? Eh, some other planet, maybe?" He straightened up and adjusted his cap imperceptibly. "For a second, I thought you were from Earth, but the pipe there is long gone, so 'damn' probably means-a something else to you."

Just the mention of Earth and a pipe put new wind in Adrian's sails and he hopped up from his hunched form, kind of even invading Mario's personal space bubble unintentionally.

"I am from Earth! That's why I came to you! I fell out of a pipe in the sky, and I figured you could help-" A white gloved palm gently pressed him back by the forehead as Mario spouted a stream of 'whoa's to calm his jets.

Pulling his glove away, the plumber's face was stern and his hands balled into fists on his hips were added assurance that he was in 'no-nonsense' mode.

"You don't-a just claim to be from Earth to Mario. Just who do you think-a you are?"

Feeling small (despite literally being no smaller than the man reprimanding him), Adrian no longer felt sure that coming to the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom would be to his benefit… Unless…

Adrian puffed out his chest and carried himself in the manner he'd seen this very character before him stand prior to usually assuming a fighting pose, even mimicking his fiery gaze. The intended effect wasn't to make Mario back down, as it never would, but Adrian was instilled with a confidence that came from channeling his fighting spirit.

"My name is Adrian. I am from Earth, and I have proof."