5.

Larabee's ranch, the next weekend

Chris was going to be late again, he'd been for most of the week, as their latest case was in its final stage. It meant that, at least for the most part of Friday evening, Vin and Ezra would be on their own. Not bad news actually, when alone they got along much better than when in Chris's presence. But today something was wrong with Ezra. Mighty wrong, if Vin could sense it right away. Of course, the fact that the older boy had actually asked when Chris planned to get home, and asked twice, was a big sign, and Vin didn't like it. He'd tried to get Ezra to talk, but Standish didn't even bother to change the subject, giving only monosyllabic answers, or plain ignoring Vin.

Around 7 p.m., Chris called, telling the boys to eat dinner without him since he most likely would be trapped in the city until midnight. Vin was disappointed, but Ezra's reaction was close to relief, and that worried Vin, but now there wouldn't be any chance to learn what was up. All in all, the Friday seemed to be doomed, but was suddenly rescued by a marathon showing of old Star Wars movies. Vin had accidentally discovered them while flipping through the channels, and, on silent agreement, dinner was moved to the couch in front of the TV. By the middle of "A New Hope" the boys were already trading flippant comments and sharing memories about their first meetings with the legendary epic.

Close to the end of the third movie, Ezra again grew quiet and thoughtful; but it was already past midnight, and Vin was half-sleeping himself, so maybe it was just tiredness. Vin was sure tomorrow would be better.

Saturday morning Vin got up with the sun and came down to the kitchen, to find Chris already sitting there, with a coffee mug in one hand and a sort of printed map in the other.

"Morning, Dad," Vin poured himself a glass of water.

Chris raised his head and smiled, though the smile didn't hide the weariness.

"Morning, Cowboy."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Have to pick Buck up and relieve Nate and Josiah at the stakeout." Chris finished his coffee with one big gulp, then crumpled the map and put it in his pocket. "We have to finish that damn case by next week, or everyone will go insane."

Vin nodded solemnly, and Chris stood up and came closer to him.

"You do know, son, that I'd rather stay here…"

"…than sit in the car staring at an empty warehouse?" Vin gave a small grin. "Yeah, Dad, I know. Be careful."

Chris, with a grin of his own, ruffled Vin's hair.

"I will. You boys behave yourselves here, okay?"

"Okay. Hmm… Dad," Vin began after a pause, but Chris was already at the door, speaking with Buck over his cell, so they just nodded to each other as Chris left. Damn, the weekend may be as awkward as yesterday; nevertheless, the horses still needed tending. He left a note for Ezra near the coffee pot, just in case Standish woke up before Vin returned (hardly possible but who knows), and then he took a water bottle from the fridge and went out to the barn.

Vin came back after a couple of hours and found the note, and the coffee pot, untouched; Ezra must still be sleeping. He began to make himself breakfast, but failed to locate his favorite mug; it had probably been left in the main room. Vin went there and saw the mug on the coffee table near the couch; he bent over and picked it up, and then was startled by a strange sound, like a strangled sob. He looked to his left and stopped dead in his tracks. Near the fireplace, with his back to the entrance and Vin, stood a fully dressed Ezra. He held a large picture of Sarah Larabee in his hands, and was apparently talking to it. Vin knew he should leave, but he was afraid Ez would hear him if he moved now; and some moments just shouldn't be interrupted, even if it meant eavesdropping.

"I know it's not his fault, Mrs. Sarah," Ezra said in a muffled voice. "He didn't take my place, he just succeeded where I failed, where I didn't try… I ran out on Chris back then, and I shouldn't have, I should have stayed. I shouldn't have waited to be invited back either, and I shouldn't have left it all to Buck…"

Vin finally realized what Ezra was talking about, Buck had told him enough about those dark years. Damn, did Ezra really blame himself for not staying by Chris's side, for not keeping him out of the bottle? 'Damn it, Ezra', Vin wanted to shout, 'You were ten years old! You lost half of your family yourself, did anyone understand that?' Did Chris even realize that, at least now?

"But he's okay now, Vin saw to it, you don't need to worry. And don't be upset with him, he tries to do the right thing, it's not his fault he doesn't want me. He never really did…"

Vin's sharp intake of breath must have alerted Ezra to his presence, for the forlorn boy turned his head and his tear-stained eyes widened as he caught sight of Vin.

"Ummm, Ez, I'm sorry, I, uh...I came to fetch the mug," Vin's remorse showed in his stumbling for words, "Sorry…"

Ezra interrupted him, "No offense taken, Vin. My apologies for the untimely display of emotion." He turned back around and put the picture frame in its place; the flatness of his tone scaring Vin even more.

The accidental eavesdropper put the mug down and quickly came close to the distressed teen. "That all ain't true, Ez, Chris loves ya."

"You are confusing me with yourself, Mr. Tanner."

"Ez, I ain't a thief. Never was, even on the streets."

Ezra finally turned around fully and faced the other teen. "I never thought you were. Vin, I'm not accusing you of anything. Besides, you can't steal from me something I have never possessed in the first place."

"That ain't true!" Vin knew he was repeating himself, but he couldn't help it. "He does love ya, and he needs ya!"

Ezra smiled sadly. "You have a very big heart, Vin, for someone with your life experience." He took a step to pass Vin, but Tanner stopped him, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. Holding his gaze, Vin said, quietly, but vehemently:

"Chris and other adults can do whatever they like, Ez, but I, with my life experience, know a good friend when I see one. You are a good friend, Ezra Standish, and a damn good big brother. I wouldn't dream for a better one. "

Vin watched as his words sank in; Ezra looked away for a moment, then returned his gaze and laid his own hand on Vin's shoulder.

"You are a good friend, too, Vin Tanner. And a good brother."

Vin allowed a small smile, "Does this mean you ain't doing anything stupid, like leaving Denver?"

Ezra grinned in response, "Yes, I guess it means I'm not doing anything stupid, like leaving Denver."

The boys dropped their hands but kept their eyes locked, and a second later grasped each other's forearms in a warrior's handshake, sealing their brotherhood.

The rest of the weekend was divided between chores, TV, horseback riding, and practicing shooting a bow. It was fun to exchange the roles of tutor and student for a while; Vin even shared some tales form his own first experience with a bow, from back on the reservation. He'd never discussed this time with anyone except Chris, but he felt he owed it to Ezra for eavesdropping earlier, and he didn't regret the conversation. When he wanted to be, Ezra was a damn good listener, and some things he understood even better than Chris.

Chris himself didn't make it home Saturday at all. He called several times in the evening, but Ezra was always leaving the room with the first ring of the phone; Vin decided not to push it yet, besides, he could really do little in that direction in Chris's absence. On Sunday, Nettie drove both boys to the bus stop; she seemed pleased with Vin's desire to accompany Ezra, and with Ezra's lack of argument. The latter pleased Vin even more than it had Nettie.

Coming home after seeing his brother off, Vin thought about how he had five days to set Chris straight. Of course, he'd promised Ezra not to mention the scene at the fireplace, but there were other ways to make Chris see what was going on. Because if Chris didn't do something by next weekend, it would be too late. It might be too late already…