Author's Note: Just a fun follow-up to 'Steady'. Hope you like it.

"No."

Even though he was tired, Sideswipe couldn't help but snort a little in amusement and shake his helm. Really, he knew Prowl wasn't trying to come across as a petulant youngling. Granted, he and the other mech had only met a couple of months earlier, but Sideswipe was getting a good feel for the Enforcer. Even at his best, Prowl only had so much tolerance for shenanigans and general chaos. And right now, he was tired, cranky, and really quite through with every other sentient creature to be found on the whole fragging planet.

Prowl wanted nothing more than to hole up in the barracks and shut out the rest of the known universe, including those that he fondly (most of the time) referred to as 'lunatics'. Sideswipe couldn't blame him, not after the past couple of days they had endured. They had seen a lot in Westead. They had learned a lot about humans, good and bad. Prowl had a lot to process and until he accomplished that, he was going to be the Pit to coexist with. He simply did not want to be bothered with what he perceived as needless foolishness.

But Ratchet was in full-on Chief-Medical-Officer mode and a filament's-breadth away from pulling rank. Now, granted, if ever there was a Cybertronian sparked that could go pede-to-pede with the Hatchet, it was probably Prowl. But even the formidable Enforcer was no match for the legendary medic when Ratchet had deemed his behavior a detriment to his proper function.

There was a buzz in Sideswipe's audio as Ratchet commed him privately. The medic's voice snarled over the link, his patience obviously thin. "Get over here and hold this slagger's sorry aft down!"

"Heh, no." Sideswipe chuckled to himself when the line was ruthlessly shut down with a filthy curse. Not only would Sideswipe's intervention cut the fun short, but he was truthfully only about 65% sure he could force Prowl to comply, and that was only if he could maintain the element of surprise. They had taken to sparring and teaming up against each other in training drills, and while Sideswipe was a talented and dangerous frontliner, Prowl was no slouch himself, physically. Add to that the mech's capacity to be just downright sneaky, and you had a lethal combination. And Sideswipe was certain that he had only seen a handful of tactics out of Prowl's little bag of tricks.

With a grin, he looked to Hound. The older mech was standing nearby, watching Ratchet and Prowl go back and forth with a knowing look on his plates. Hound had been dealing with Prowl long enough to know that charging him head-on was really a waste of time. But really, that was the only strategy Ratchet subscribed to.

Outwardly, the medic showed no signs that the communication with Sideswipe had even occurred. Ratchet stood ramrod straight, the Texas mid-day sun gleaming off of his brightly colored enamel. His arms were crossed as he glared at the black and white mech, trying to intimidate him. "Any delay could cause permanent damage to joints and servos."

Sideswipe was aware that he was not the only one to look to Prowl for a response. At his pedes Will, Sarah, Epps and most of the rest of the base staff turned their heads as one to look at the second participant in this little verbal tennis match. Most of the soldiers had been in the town to help with rescue efforts. Some looked annoyed by the bickering Cybertronians. A few were amused. But all of them were most definitely exhausted. There was a gentle, resigned sigh from Will before the human's weight registered against Sideswipe's pede plates. The colonel looked up at him and gave a shake of his head as Prowl and Ratchet continued.

"Surely a few days shouldn't make a difference." Prowl's face remained neutral, but Sideswipe noted those damned doorwings were giving the mech away. They were hedging up slightly, along with his irritation. "I can wait."

"The Pit you can!" Ratchet shot back. "I don't have the equipment or resources to replace your limbs if they lock up on you."

Prowl narrowed his optics at Ratchet. "You're exaggerating to make your point, Medic."

Sideswipe felt himself tense a little as everyone looked back at Ratchet in time to see his armor flare out with anger. The problem was, Prowl was right and all present knew it. "Are you questioning my ethics?"

"Not at all." Prowl replied evenly. "I truly believe you have my best interest at spark and if my life were in peril from life-threatening damage I would be relieved to have you as my physician. However, I am convinced that in this particular instance, you are more interested in asserting your opinion than offering sound medical advice."

Scrap, that was a low blow. And also not entirely accurate on Prowl's part, though Sideswipe could see how Ratchet's behavior could be perceived as just being domineering. But the medic was truly concerned, and his temper was getting the best of him. From the CMO's standpoint, Prowl was being a temperamental glitch just for the hell of it.

Ratchet was moving toward the red-line when he spoke again and more than willing to resort to dirty tricks as well. "You're setting a poor example for Bluestreak. What if he were to see you putting up such a fuss over something so trivial?"

The cold smirk that graced Prowl's faceplates boded nothing but ill. "But he isn't here, is he? He's studying in the main hangar."

The perceived snippery was the last straw. Ratchet pulled back, snorting with rage as his plates shifted. "Look, you little-"

Ratchet had taken a step forward towards the current source of his agitation, clearly intent on knocking some sense into him. Prowl didn't move, but dropped his weight onto the leg behind him, readying himself to stand his ground. Sideswipe had just tensed his own body to move and put himself between the two when a voice boomed over the compound.

"Enough!"

Optimus stepped from the office hangar. The tall mech held a bearing of authority, letting those around him know that he was not inclined to be trifled with. But as he moved past Sideswipe, Hound, and the humans, his left optic reset itself, blinking in a Cybertronian version of a wink.

The Prime turned his attention to the Irresistible Force and the Immovable Object incarnates. Both Ratchet and Prowl had ceased the quarrel, but still stood tense as their Prime approached, each throwing surreptitious dirty looks at the other.

Optimus gently approached Prowl. "I realize that this is a new and uncomfortable situation for you, but I must ask you to comply."

Prowl had a great deal of respect for Prime, there was no doubt of that. But he wasn't going down without a fight . . . or at least an eloquently worded argument. "Sir, I do not believe that there is any medical reason-"

Optimus held up a hand to forestall any further rebuttal. "I agree that Ratchet's argument might be a touch . . . overzealous."

Ratchet growled slightly and Sideswipe forced the chuckle back down to his vocalizer. It caused feedback to cycle through the components, which he tried to cover up with a cough through his vents. Ratchet glared at him anyway.

Optimus continued. "But we do need to be certain that this unit is ready to deploy at a moment's notice. That includes averting potential issues with simple solutions."

"Optimus, I am fully-functional."

"Yes." The Prime waved a servo in the direction of the humans, "but they aren't."

The confused look on Prowl's face made Sideswipe snicker. "Sir?"

"Some humans, and in our case, these humans in particular," Optimus smiled when Will quirked a dubious eyebrow at him, "are always willing to put others before themselves. And not only for the good of this unit. You have helped them through a difficult situation. And while they were probably fond of you before the mission in Westead, they are potentially doubly so now. They are your friends, and would prefer to endure discomfort themselves than allow something as trivial as this to cause you physical irritation."

From Prowl's reaction, Sideswipe had wondered if the thought ever occurred to him that he might actually have friends here. Pit, he wondered if Prowl had every had any one he considered a friend anywhere. It was rare for Prowl to look shocked, but his optics flared a little as his mouth components slackened. "They needn't inconvenience themselves for me."

"But they will." Optimus replied. "And I am afraid that until they are sure you are in no harm, however inconsequential it may seem to you, they will not see to their own needs."

Prowl looked at the small group assembled. Tiredly leaning on Sideswipe's pede, Will replied. "We just want to make sure you're okay, Prowl."

"They are exhausted. And, unfortunately stubborn." That earned Optimus a snort from Epps. "I would prefer that they rest and recover, but that will not happen until the four of you are seen to. I do not want to cause you unease, but I ask that you acquiesce to Ratchet's advice."

Prowl wasn't stupid and was well aware that he was, in part, getting played. Optimus was their Prime for a reason. He knew all of the right buttons to push and was a diplomat in every sense of the word. He had the ability to assess another and speak to them in a way that they best understood

There was a quick way to Prowl's spark, and that was to remind him of his duty to others. The black and white mech sighed, the corners of his mouth twitching with what might have been just a small smile. "For the good of the unit?"

"For the good of the unit." Optimus replied. And with that, the larger mech turned and headed back towards his quarters.

Sideswipe waited for Will to move away to gather materials before heading over to stand next to Prowl. The mech still looked distinctly unhappy, but less mulish. "I haven't required aid in cleaning myself since I was a youngling."

"It's not that bad." Sideswipe tried to assure him. "Early on, getting hosed down after a mission was the only option."

"How long until the wash racks are functional again?" Prowl watched with a little apprehension as the humans approached with a couple of hoses, buckets, and sponges.

"The storm did a number on the whole system. Jolt and the Wreckers are looking at the water recycling set-up now." Sideswipe assured him. "Ratchet will head over after bath time."

Prowl sighed. "This is ridiculous."

Will looked up at Sideswipe, Prowl, Hound, and Ratchet as he walked over with a garden hose in his hand, water spraying out from the loose connections on the nozzle. "All right. Who's up first?"

Sensing the unease still radiating from Prowl, Sideswipe decided to be nice and cut him a break. "Me."

They had done this so many times over the years, there was an unspoken procedure to it. Sideswipe stepped forward and slid down into his sleek alt mode. "All right, Human. Do your worst."

Will chuckled tiredly, but made sure the sprayer was set to a gentle shower setting before turning it on Sideswipe. He knew he couldn't quite control the shudder that ran through his frame as the cold water hit his plating and the sensors in his frame underneath reacted. It only took a few minutes for everything to recalibrate. After a minute or two, all he could really feel was the muck and the mud being washed away. Content, he relaxed on his axles, letting the human he trusted with his very spark take care of him.

As Will continued to soak him down, Sarah stepped forward with a couple members of the base staff to start with the bucket and sponge. She tackled the front quarter panel first, "'Sides, I think you brought back half of the town with you."

"Yeah, no kidding." Sideswipe was aware that Epps' team had started on Ratchet while Hound watched nearby. The larger mech required a few more hands to get him clean in a timely manner. There was a sharp bark from the medic about the slagging cold water and the pressure. Epps came right back with an order for the mech to 'Shut his hole' and let the team work. Sideswipe snickered as the inevitable argument escalated between the sergeant and the medic.

Once Will was satisfied that Sideswipe's alt-mode was spotless, the humans stepped back so that Sideswipe could transform. As gently as his bulk would allow, the mech sat back down on the tarmac, allowing the organics to swarm back in on him. A couple of the techs moved in on his pedes, using tools or their hands to pull hunks of debris from the rotors and transformation cogs

Will had climbed up on his leg struts and was moving down from his hip, using the hose to flush the joints. "Where's the worst of it, Sides?"

"Anterior patellar struts."

The human found a foothold on one of his plates and slid down to the offending joint. Without hesitation, he reached in to the moving parts, using the water to clean out the mud and grit that had been causing Sideswipe's joints to grind. Sideswipe sat perfectly still as the humans worked, careful not to pinch limbs in his systems.

It didn't take long to flush out the worst of the grime. Sarah and the techs would pick out the rest of what was in his joints and Will would probably hose him down again. With a look that plainly said 'Wish me luck', Will swung down from Sideswipe's frame and approached the stiffly-standing Praxian that stood nearby.

"What do you think, Prowl?" Will called to the other mech. "Can we get started?"

Sideswipe couldn't help himself. "Be gentle with him, Boss. It is his first time."

From where she sat on Sideswipe's leg strut, Sarah hunched over and bent her head, trying not to laugh. The men around her were much less subtle, snorting and laughing as they continued to buff the plating.

Will pinned Sideswipe with a dirty, and slightly amused, look. Prowl looked mystified. While he had a working understanding of human biology, he lacked a general grasp of the nuances of sexual reproductive humor.

But as usual, Prowl chose not to comment, deciding that ignoring Sideswipe would be the best course of action. He addressed Will instead. "I guess it would be best to get this over with."

Sarah had just recovered from her fit of giggles when she burst out anew. "That's what she said!"

Sideswipe sputtered and leaned forward, putting a protective servo around Sarah to keep her from sliding down the slick metal plating. She leaned back against his digits, weak from laughter at her own joke as the men around Sideswipe cracked up laughing again. Epps and his team had overheard the exchange and Sideswipe watched as Epps's upper body caved in on itself as he leaned against Ratchet's frame, trying to control his amusement. Even the medic, tetchy as he was, snorted once before giving a few deep twitters of mirth.

Will looked over at his still-cackling spouse. "Really, hon? Really?"

"I'm sorry." Still grinning, Sarah looked anything but apologetic as she stood to look over Sideswipe's hand. "Sorry."

Will snorted, giving her a mock-stern glare. "No you're not."

Sarah looked up at Prowl. "I am sorry. I'll stop now."

Prowl quirked an optic ridge at her. "I don't really understand the conversation, but your apology is accepted."

Sideswipe looked down at the woman as she went back to work. Try as they might, whenever they caught the other's look they would start snickering again. Sarah cracked him up. She always had.

Undoubtedly, the basis for her and Will's strong union was the bond of friendship that they shared, something that resonated with the alien since friendship and brotherhood were keystones of Cybertronian culture. Sideswipe had observed what Epps termed 'Public Displays of Affection' between the pair, but noted that the relationship went beyond biological urges to procreate.

Sarah was smart, strong, understanding, and loyal to her family unit, both blood relation, those humans that were not technically related but considered family, and the Cybertronians that she had seamlessly adopted into her life. She also had a wicked sense of humor when she wanted it.

With an effort, Prowl and Will silently agreed to ignore their continued outburst of chuckles as Prowl grudgingly transformed. The process was slower than usual, undoubtedly because the mech was nervous and tense. With an inward sigh, Sideswipe commed him privately. "Take it easy."

"I'm fine." Came the clipped response. "I've handled more extraordinarily tense situa- PRIMUS, SLAGGIT!"

Sideswipe reflected that it was the first time he had ever heard Prowl swear. When the water hit his plating, the mech nearly jumped out of his alt, the transformation sequence halting as he regained control of himself and ordered the reflex to cease.

"Take it easy," Will's voice raised in volume, but the tone held only a hint of warning and was more of a gentle reassurance than anything else. The reaction wasn't unexpected and Will's body language suggested that he was unfazed. He stood easy, unmoving as he waited for Prowl to acclimate "Come on, Big Guy. I know it's a shock, but you'll adjust."

Prowl's frame shuddered, but he complied. The plating slid back into place, but Sideswipe could hear the clatter of the plating as the mech shook. He commed him again. "You're going to offline yourself."

"I don't need your input." Prowl snarked back.

Before Sideswipe could respond, Will spoke up again. The human kept his voice low, undoubtedly so that Sarah couldn't hear him. "I've been meaning to thank you, by the way."

The conversation of the techs still working on him buzzed around Sideswipe, but he reset his audios to zero in on the conversation between the Enforcer and the colonel.

Prowl took the hint and kept his vocalizer low as he responded. "For?"

Will let the water run off of Prowl's roof. "You put yourself on the line out there to save my butt. I wouldn't be standing here if you hadn't jumped in there."

For a moment, there was only the sound of the water drumming gently on Prowl's plating. The shaking had stopped, the seams smoothing as the mech finally relaxed. Sideswipe registered that his sensors were still on their highest setting, but Sideswipe got the impression it was more from curiosity than apprehension. Will had begun whistling, nodding to a few of the techs to come assist him as he worked.

Sarah made herself at home, sitting on Sideswipe's foot, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Sideswipe glanced over to where Hound was now getting cleaned, keeping up a running chat with several of the techs about the events of the past few days. The old mech was carefully reshuffling his plating to allow the humans to reach the last of the debris.

Prowl had transformed and was seated back on the ground. The humans swung up onto his frame to continue the maintenance. The bot spoke to them, encouraging them to be careful as they scrambled about and reached into his components with trusting bare hands.

There was a light knock on his plates and he looked back at Sarah. He caught the impish grin on her face as she turned and called to Will. "You missed a spot."

For a few seconds, it seemed as though Will hadn't heard her. But then, as quick as a snake, Will turned loosing the hose on his mate. She squealed and laughed, sliding off of Sideswipe's leg and running behind him, using him for cover.

Will's grin was feral as he growled, "Out of the way, Sides. I just want the woman."

Before Sideswipe could respond, Sarah darted from behind him and ran at Epps. Will aimed the sprayer at her again, catching her in the legs and causing her to swear and laugh. It didn't deter her from her mission though. Epps chuckled and relinquished the hose immediately. Sarah whipped around on Will, her smile just as evil as her husband's had been. "Prepare to be annihilated, Lennox."

"Oh, big talk from- argh!" Sarah shut him up quick with a blast to his face. Sideswipe watched the pair chase each other, darting behind other humans and the 'bots. The organized cleaning crew was quickly devolving into an all-out water battle as Will and Sarah managed to incite the others to riot. Soapy sponges began flying through the air as war-cries rang out across the base.

His internal com sounded as Prowl pinged him. The bot's tone was trying to edge toward annoyed, but it was failing. "I thought they were tired."

"They are." Sideswipe answered, smiling as Will grabbed his wife around the middle and swung her around. The woman laughed. "But they never seem to be too tired to have a good time."

Prowl didn't reply and Sideswipe looked up. The bot was still seated on the ground, watching the humans run around him in their revelry. His faceplates held the typical indifferent expression it usually did as he observed the small alien species yell and frolic about him.

It may have been Sideswipe's imagination, but he would bet money he saw the barest hint of a smile.