Camera Shy

Full Summary: Sasori never thought he'd have to do this. He never thought he'd fall so hard. He never thought he'd end up loving a ten year old boy who doesn't remember who he is. With a lifetime of awful memories and experiences, Deidara simply shows up on Sasori's doorstep one eventful night. Will Sasori be able admit his feelings in time and unearth Deidara's mysterious past? Or will Deidara have so many dark corners in his life that it's impossible to save him?

Pairings: SasoDei, DeiSaso, slight ItaHidan and KakuDei

Warnings: Yaoi lemon, OOC, mild language, violence, rape, ect. ect...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters.

Other: Talking, thinking/dreams, writing

Around midnight, Sasori awoke to the same whimpering he had heard the night before. Sighing, he stood up from the floor and gently shook Deidara's shoulder.

"Deidara…?" He whispered, but the blonde's eye remained closed, his thin lips open in quiet cries. "Deidara, wake up and come down…" Deidara didn't wake, but moaned in his sleep, like he was in pain. "Deidara…" He tried to rouse him for another moment before groaning and doing something he'd never thought he'd do in his life.

He crawled into bed with Deidara and put his hand on the blonde's shaking back. Soon, he was breathing normally again.

Sasori felt odd in his bed with another person in it, with his hand on another person's back, with his heart beating a thousand miles an hour for another person. Deidara had relaxed so quickly with Sasori next to him, it astounded him. What had he done, to make Deidara so comfortable? As far as he knew, he hadn't been all that nice, just curious, and instinctively protective.

This is bad… he thought. I am getting too attached, but it's not going to be this way forever. Sooner or later, Deidara is going to go somewhere else, and we'll probably never see each other again...so why does that make me so upset!?

Sasori stirred a little before noon, glad he had slept so late. It killed time.

For a moment, he took his time getting used to being awake, looking out the window to see a bright sun looming overheard, and then he noticed something.

Deidara was enveloped in his arms, crushed against his chest like it was the last thing he'd ever do.

But he didn't pull away at first. He savored the warmth of the little form, the soft breathing sending chills up his spine. He didn't think about it, he just did it. He just lay there, breathing.

Finally, he composed himself and slithered away, managing to stand without waking Deidara. With one last wistful look at him, Sasori pulled the covers up to his chin and tiptoed out of the room.

Troubled, he leaned against the door and reluctantly called Konan. He knew Konan was probably tearing her hair out over all these calls from him, but he had to. He forced himself to rely on her for this. To accept advice.

She answered quickly, asking if anything was wrong.

"No, nothing's wrong," Sasori told her quietly.

"Then why are you calling? Deidara doesn't need to come in today." Sasori didn't know what to say then. He didn't need to call, he didn't know why he had. So he just blurted out the first thing he thought of, the only thing he was currently focused on the most.

"Is it wrong to like someone younger than you?" He sealed his mouth shut immediately after, hoping he had just said that in his mind instead of out loud.

"No." He was surprised at her answer. He expected flying giggles and teasing, making fun of him for possibly having a crush on Deidara.

"H-how do you know?" Sasori demanded. If Konan knew...Sasori needed to. Not being aware of his own feelings was even worse than been unaware of his surroundings.

"Age doesn't matter, Sasori. It's what the inside that counts." There was a silence.

"This doesn't sound like never-serious Konan," he said softly. In fact, it was exactly what Sasori needed to hear. If Konan was serious about this, then obviously, it was real, this was happening. Sasori liked Deidara. The first person in the world to ever get Sasori's attention, and he was ten years old. What did this mean, what should he do now? He didn't know if he could go on living with Deidara when he liked him in this way. He was expected to take care of Deidara as his child, not his...

"Well…this is an important matter," she replied simply, and Sasori clenched his hands together. It was important, more important than Sasori wanted it to be. How he felt about Deidara could change what happened to him. If they continued to be so friendly with each other, Deidara might remember his past quicker and he would become...normal. But if Sasori started being awkward with him, because of what he had discovered about himself, Deidara could distance himself from both Sasori and his own mind. He would block out his memories because of his confusion from Sasori ignoring him. Sasori played a drastic roll in Deidara's future, and he wasn't sure if he could handle that responsibility.

"How are coming along…money wise?" Sasori shook his head at Konan's next question, realizing he was trying to change the subject. Sasori anwered gratefully.

"I'm okay so far."

"If you need to borrow some, don't hesitate to ask me."

"I don't know if I could pay you back, though."

"Don't worry about it, you need it more than I do." Sasori was put a little at ease by Konan's kindness; that was just like her. She always thought he was much too young to be getting along by himself at just 14, but he had been just fine up until Deidara…he was too mature and somber for her liking. Why would a teenager in the dawn of life worry about paying back a woman who made more money in a week than he did in a year? He thought like an adult, and that was the problem! She supposed she was giving up Sasori's much needed adolescent years by dropping him with Deidara, but it seemed he liked having the little blonde around...to an extent.

"How's your job?" She resumed.

"I have an all day shift tomorrow and Saturday…I'm thinking about quitting."

"Why?"

"Where would I put Deidara all day?"

"Take him with you. Believe me, he'll be happy with just being around you."

"Next week, I only have Sunday off…I don't want him coming with me everyday. It would be troublesome."

"Well, you could ask for less hours." Sasori shrugged, even though he knew Konan couldn't see it. Quitting his job would mean no paycheck, but as Konan often reminded him, he didn't need to worry about money. But Sasori liked to take care of himself; he didn't just take handouts like he was hopeless. He wasn't hopeless, but if he didn't quit his job, Deidara...

"Don't fret about it now, it'll be fine," she reassured him, but Sasori didn't think it worked. He fretted about it anyway.

There was a silence for a moment, their rusty breathing the only sounds on either line.

"Well...please bring him tomorrow, around...one pm. I should be free then."

"Okay. See you." He hung up feeling a bit better about the day, but not about what would happen the next. He didn't share Konan's flexibility to take each day when it came. He needed a plan, a schedule.

He needed to know.

Grumbling to himself, Sasori dragged himself into the kitchen and made himself some tea. Konan told him he was too young for coffee, so he gradually came to like tea.

What did ten year olds like?

Growling begrudgingly to the wall, he filled his mind with images of Deidara as he made--tried--to make breakfast.

Deidara stumbled into the kitchen around noon, looking content.

"How did you sleep?" Sasori asked, motioning for him to sit down at the table. Seeing Deidara made his heart thump, for what, there were too many reasons.

"G-good, un." He stared at the breakfast Sasori had made him guiltily.

"You didn't have to do this, un…" He murmured.

"It's okay." Sasori smiled and leaned back in his chair, watching Deidara warily begin to eat. "Did I do a good job?"

"Yeah, un. Thanks…aren't you hungry, un?" Sasori shrugged; he didn't usually eat breakfast anyway, so making it was another thing he would have to eventually get used to. But now...he thought, perhaps, it wouldn't be so hard. He wasn't completely reassured, but he was a bit more at ease. Age doesn't matter, Konan had told him. That might be true, but did that apply to them, both too young to be thinking about such things anyway? Yes, Sasori was a teenager, but he didn't know the feeling of liking someone, of feeling affection for them, admiration, everything that came along with the fluttering of his heart.

"Come on, un. Eat something, I'll feel bad, un." He grinned, holding out a forkful of strawberry, the green tops neatly sliced off.

Without consciously thinking about it, Sasori took the bite Deidara held out for him. It was strangely…romantic, in a way, like something a married couple would do. Sasori pulled away again, feeling slightly self-conscious.

"Where do you want to go today?" Sasori asked casually.

"I don't care, un. Whatever you want to do, un."

"Finish your breakfast," he ordered, standing up and looking out the closed window; still sunny.

Sasori took Deidara to the park. He was excited enough, so Sasori thought this was a good choice. He seldom went there as a child, since he had never aquired an interest in carefree play. But Deidara was a kid, he reminded himself, and much different than the kind of kid Sasori had been.

It seemed natural for them to be together somehow, like they had known each other their whole lives. It was…pleasant.

The only word that could file past Sasori's mind was cute. Him and Deidara had conversations he'd never thought he'd have with such a young boy, and he also discovered a lot about the blonde. For now, he figured things could continue on the way they were.

But of course, pleasent times cannot last without some sort of bitter interference.

He was dreamily pushing Deidara on the swing, when Deidara told him something he wasn't expecting.

"Sasori, un?" Sasori took the two chains in his hands, stopping Deidara so he could gaze at him. Their mouths were just inches apart.

"Yeah?"

"You're a pretty nice guy, un."

"I'm...glad you approve, Deidara..." Sasori said cautiously, and Deidara smiled. He was so easy to please, as if he had completely forgotten his situation, his amnesia, his metal eye, everything. This one moment of contentment was enough to make Deidara happy and that, in turn, made Sasori happier than he had ever been before.

He looked hopefully into the blonde's bright blue gaze. His one eye was beautiful to make up for the other, dull, ugly one. A deep moonlit pool, in its depths swirling secrets, deep secrets locked within his eyes like a great treasure.

He then ever-so-softly pressed their lips together.

Deidara did not pull away, but tilted his head back to give Sasori a better angle. It was simple and closed, nothing like Sasori would imagine his first kiss would be. Deidara probably didn't either. It wasn't awkward or messy, it was perfect, and Sasori could practically see the fireworks explode around his head. This time, he hadn't thought about it. He always thought about his next actions, planned them carefully, looking at them from every side. But no, this time, it was entirely spontaneous. Another thing he'd never thought he'd do, but willed into it by Deidara's hypnotizing gaze.

Finally, the Sasori stepped back, blushing darkly. His first kiss, and he was already 14 years old. It was a little late for his first kiss, but it was amazing, and he didn't care how wrong it was, how strange.

"S-sorry…!" He said quickly, looking down as not to see Deidara's face. He assumed the blonde was angry for kissing him without any warning, but he couldn't resist. His lips looked so soft and inviting, plump pillows on his angel face. Now, he realized what he had just done. He had just treaded on a nitch in Deidara's mind. He could have either smoothed it over, or chipped it deeper.

"T-that's okay, un…" Deidara said, and instead of furious, his expression was thoughtful. Sasori breathed out a sigh of relief, but then the calm, intrigued expression faded.

"D-Deidara…?" He swallowed nervously when he saw Deidara looking straight ahead, his visible eye blank and unseeing.

"They…put things down in my head, un, when I was eight, a-around November…" he whispered, and Sasori knew instantly he was talking about his parents. He listened intently, everything forgotten as he focused on Deidara's memory. "It's in my brain, un, and they wanted…they wanted me to be able to see and do things that normal people couldn't, un…but…it didn't work…I-it just makes me say this, un."

"It makes you say what?"

"Un, at the end of my sentences. I remember it hurting for weeks, un, and I can't stop saying it. I-I don't know exactly what they did...but they were mad, un. Mad that it didn't make me have...see-through vision or something...s-so...mad..." Sasori gulped down a scream of hatred as Deidara slowly faded back from his remembrance. The vague look was gone, but the color refused to fill out in his cheeks. He was ghostly pale.

"I'll take you home now," Sasori tried to sound calm as he scooped Deidara into his arms and headed home. He was anxious to call Konan and report what he now knew, but he wanted to make Deidara comfortable. He didn't think Deidara needed to be carried, but he was impatient. That wonderful kiss had somehow dissolved into unimportance after being followed by such a dark and serious event.

There's something that his parents installed in his brain that makes him involuntarily say "un" all the time… Sasori reflected quickly. But it didn't do what they wanted it to. To see and do things that normal people couldn't, and they were angry...can we take this out, or will it be there forever? He was infuriated with his parents even more now that he knew what else they had done to Deidara. It seemed like they hadn't cared about Deidara at all, if they were willing to test their freak experiments on him.

When they reached Sasori's apartment, he was biting his lip to keep from blurting out questions. Deidara didn't need to answer anything.

"Sasori, un, I didn't--" Deidara began, but Sasori shhed him.

"You look tired," he said coolly. "Sleep now."

"W-will you be here when I wake up, un?" Sasori could have fainted. It was sort of...nice, having someone depend on him, need him. He was afraid of all this responsibility, in a way, afraid he would someone mess up with Deidara leaning on him. That's why he didn't have friends, or wasn't particularly close to anyone. People were complex, even Sasori had his own cracks in his armor that he didn't understand and couldn't explain. Others were perhaps more complicated, perhaps less. But Sasori didn't know, and could never find out. Deidara was so full of mysteries, but mysteries he knew. Just couldn't remember.

"Y-yeah, I'll be here," he promised shakily.

"I can't sleep, un…" Sasori gazed kindheartedly at the blonde and sat down on the bed next to him, putting his hand on his damp forehead.

He rubbed Deidara's head soothingly until he started to drift off. Long after he had fallen asleep, Sasori kept massaging his temples until he was absolutely sure he'd be okay. Really, he stayed there for himself. To escape having to think.

Reluctantly, he left Deidara and hurriedly called Konan, almost bouncing with unease. Should he have just ran over, without calling? No...this wasn't such a huge emergencey, even if Sasori thought it was. It was better to let Deidara rest, to sleep off the fear of his memories.

"Sasori, what is it now?" Konan answered, and Sasori exploded into everything he had seen.

"We were at the park, and everything was okay, at first. But then all of a sudden he started remembering things. He said when he was eight, He said around November, his parents put something down his brain that was supposed to give him the ability to see and do things that other people couldn't, special powers, I guess. But it didn't work, it didn't do what they wanted, So instead, he says "un," because he can't stop it, the thing is making him do it! Why would they do that to him when he was just a child?!"

"Sasori, calm down," Konan interrupted. "I don't want him to come in today. Bring him in tomorrow, like I told you. Don't take him anywhere until noon tomorrow, keep him in bed, and then we'll think about it more...what did you do that made Deidara remember that?" Sasori blushed, quickly debating on whether or not to tell Konan what actually happened or make something up.

He couldn't risk lying about it.

"I-I kissed him," he mumbled, but to his surprise Konan didn't go on about it.

"I think there's things that trigger his memories," she said. "Maybe fear, pain, or love, or some other strong emotion. When Hidan examined his eye, he seemed terrified…" Sasori understood her musings, but what had Deidara felt when he had kissed him? Anger, or…something else?

"Is he sleeping now?"

"Uh huh."

"Take care of him, Sasori. He really needs you." She hung up without another word, and Sasori sank to the ground, his head spinning. The phone slipped from his hand and clattered onto the floor, the dial tone still loud.

"Deidara…" He shook his head sleepily; he hadn't realized just how tired he was until then. He let his eyes droop and his worries wash away into sleep.

He awoke later to the sound of the shower running, and he frantically looked at the clock.

"Damn it!" It was already eight am, he must have slept the entire night on the floor. He sprinted to the bathroom and flung open the door, breathing a sigh of relief, when Deidara greeted him.

"Sorry I didn't ask to use your shower, un," he said, the water muffling his voice. Sasori abruptly remebered when they first "met," when Sasori hadn't known if the eye could get wet. Obviously, it could. It must be pretty powerful to be such complicated metal technology and waterproof. "I didn't want to wake you, un."

"I'm sorry," Sasori corrected him, shamefaced. "How did you sleep?" He sat on the sink and folded his hands in his lap. He should have been there with Deidara, especially after yesterday, after he had promised he'd be there when he woke up. The redhead felt awful, like he had betrayed him. Anyone else, and he would have waved it off easily. But Deidara was different. He was special, and he meant a lot to Sasori, despite his better judgement.

"Fine, un. You?" He uncomfortably prodded a knot in his back.

"Okay."

The water shut off and Sasori awkwardly handed Deidara a towel.

"We have to go in today at noon," he informed the blonde, and he didn't need to mention "go in" meant they had to go back to the hospital. Deidara knew.

He stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Sasori hopped off the sink and hugged Deidara close to his chest. His wet body soaked through his shirt, but that just made him embrace him closer. It felt…right, not embarrassing. They were close now, no longer strangers. So much more.

"Deidara, I'm sorry," he said again, pressing his cheek to the blonde's ear. He was really taking what he had promised to heart; the last thing he wanted to do was break a promise he made to Deidara. Something so small was so big to Sasori.

"Sasori, un, it's no big deal…"

"It is to me…" They stood there for a couple minutes, until Sasori pulled away.

For the first time, he noticed Deidara was wearing a necklace, a choker really. The pendent was a simple, thin, gold rectangle hung by a black rope.

"What's that?" Sasori asked, gesturing at the necklace.

"I don't know, un." Sasori nodded his understanding, shuffling Deidara out of the bathroom to get dressed.

A/N: UGH! Another terrible chapter. I like this idea, I just wish I could write it better....oh well, sorry for the long delay, I'm getting around to it, I promise.
But...on the bright side, MORE MYSTERY!! The UN, the CHOKER. What could possibly come next?
You have to wait another five years or so...

~ The Cupcake Monster