Title: My Performance
Author: The Newest Message (Call me Nessa!)
Rating: M- violence, language, m/m, disturbing psycho, disturbing situations, peril...
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing.
Summary: Elliot gets herself a stalker who promptly finds himself jealous of JD and messes the kid up. Dr. Cox feels guilty and upset and whatnot, and more bad stuff happens that is... really bad. I don't want to tell you it all now! Just read!
Warnings: JDA, DCA (Torture in the somewhat near future). And I love cliffhangers!
Pairings: JD/Cox. And Turla by default.
A/N: Dear God, I think I'm in love. This is already the most amazing fandom I've dipped into. Sure, I get several reviews for my other stories, but none like these. You guys... not only do you bother to review, but you give me feedback. Very good feedback! All of you. And maybe it's just one sentence, or maybe it's paragraphs, but you all tell me your specific thoughts! You people really make me conscious about what I'm doing. Awesome job, thank you so much, and keep it up! You guys are astonishingly motivating! loves you all
REVIEWER REVIEWS
Piyopi- Hey! You win the 'first reviewer' prize!
Oh, yes. Turk is going to become very involved, though I don't know yet how I'm going to tip him. Cox is probably going to bark the information at him with self-hatred, or JD will spill it at a particularly vulnerable moment. Either way, I'm very much sure that I'm going to get the other characters as involved as possible- I mean, JD and Cox are important to them, and they're all always together. So we'll see what happens there! Thanks so much for your second review- I totally love you for keeping up!
Oracle Thunder- Yo! Thanks for the stalker information (and sorry you have it!)! I will certainly ask you if I have something I want to know!
Anyhow (I say that too much), thank you. I'm really very determined to make sure JD doesn't come off too oblivious or too wimpy. I really want to make sure he comes off as a guy, despite Cox's belief! So please tell me if I ever do anything that opposes that!
Yes, I really should have waited to introduce Lynch. Still, I was impatient and I felt like I wouldn't be able to stall. Anyway, thanks for the input on that!
Seven crashes... is probably too many. I'll have to look that one up, too! XD
Subtle means to antagonize Elliot. Got it. Makes sense to me. He's pretty straightforward as of now, but I'm pretty sure he thinks they're married. Don't worry- I have a story.
Well, thank you so much for your review! I hope to hear from you again!!
Taura Calisto- Eee! Another lengthy review! Thank you! You win best review, stranger!
Let me say first that what you've said about the research is awesome. You're completely right. (Ha, right now I'm struggling not to spew my big excuse at you). And thank you for saying my assumptions are alright. I think seven crashes was a bit ridiculous, though! Anyway... I can't believe I missed that bit about the fluid in his lung! I never even thought of a chest tube! I just assumed that surgery was the only fix. I'm a dumby! Okay, I'll look into fixing that one, but it may not work out (in such a case it would be addressed in the AN). Thank you very much for the mention- it's very helpful. And I'll definitely look some things up!
Yeah, the idea of Cox setting JD up was really iffy for me, and it came in a sudden, inexplicable flash, so it probably wasn't the best idea to just shove it in there without too much thought. Still, I've concocted several different reasons and motives. Unfortunately, I think I already set myself up for the strangest one. Ah, well, well see what happens.
Thanks a billion for this amazing review! Eye-opener! I so wish to hear from you here for chapter three!
Wolfbane17- Hey! My first-ever Scrubs reviewer! You reviewed again! loves you
Thanks, I'm glad to hear you think I'm doing well! And, boy, I'm really mean to JD. He's my favorite, but I just can't help myself. Still, I promise you, some good will come of this!
Hazel in Despair- I remember you! I love your fics! Also, thanks for coming back!!
I know! I can't believe he set him up either, and I wrote it! Still, he'll be really, really guilty, I promise. And I'm going to give him the tiniest break and tell you all his reasons soon!
Thanks a million for reviewing! It means so much since I love your work! You've gotta update soon, too! Thanks, thanks, thanks! loves you
Spartan08- Hey, you reviewed my last time, too! Thanks for devoting yourself enough to review this chapter, too! It means so much!
I know! Dr. Cox is such a jerk sometimes! But, yes, he does have a reason for his actions, and, yes, you guys are going to know about it soon! But that doesn't make everything alright! Thanks again! And again, and again! love
Insanity Talisman- Another long one! I could detonate in glee! (I won't...)
Oh my goodness!! You love cliffhangers, too!? We're like... cousins! Oh, I don't know. Still, I like cliffhangers, they make me so excited as well as annoyed. I'm glad someone out there understands my feelings!!
Oh, you like my frantic moments? Thank you! I really weird myself out in those moments, and the character and I both get more and more incoherent. You know, like JD at the end of chapter one. It's just nonsense at a certain point, but it has good effect. There'll be plenty of that in the future. Still, thanks so much for being specific! It helps me improve and bring in what I know you guys like!
Haha, I know! I just stumbled across the Scrubs fandom a few weeks ago. At first I thought it was pretty fucked up, but I gave it a chance because I love Scrubs. So I took some fics to my room, read them... here I am. Drawing Scrubs, reading it, writing it, watching it. It's like a disease and I love it. Still, JDA is so terrible! But as they say, tragedy attracts us all!
Thank you, Tali, for your awesome review! ILU!
Raven2547- Hey! I haven't heard from you before, have I? Awesome!
Well, thank you so much for your review! I'm really glad to have your opinion- I need them to know what you guys want me to do! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope so dearly to hear from you again!
Sock Fiend- You're so awesome, man!! Thanks for reviewing! From the bottom of my heart! I sincerely hope to hear from you again this time around!
Athena Alpha- Ooh, a long review!! Joy!!
Haha, the ending confused you!? Well, your review confused me, so we're even! I think the 'x' you're referring to is Raymond, right? As Elliot's ex. Well, guess what! Raymond isn't anyone's ex! He's just criminally insane and thinks he and Elliot are married! Just wishful thinking on his part, poor fellow! Anyhow, thank you a million for your review! It makes me glow with happy! Especial thanks for specifically addressing JD's character! I was worried about keeping him in character! bow Thank you, thank you! I hope so much to hear from you again!!
According to Mel- Woah, awesome review. For serious.
Any-dang-way, thanks! I know there are several of you who are worried about Cox's involvement, so hearing that some of you are excited about it is good. I find myself iffy about it, actually. I doubt I meditated it enough.
Perspectives are apparently going to be all over. I'll try to keep it main characters' POV for continuity and keep-up, but minor characters and third-person sentient will be about. Thanks for the input- handy!
This story has good perspectives. The reviewers are amazing and supportive and Scrubs is constant for me- I can always watch and appreciate. Also, this story will not be dry to write- I'm going to plan out and make sure each chapter has something significant or dramatic, so I'll have as much fun as you guys do. Often, failed stories are because the writer's material is run out or their ideas aren't as upbeat and accessible as previously thought. Right?
Oh, man, do I love you for bringing up character. No reason why, I guess, but keeping people in character is my big worry. I mean, it will not be a good read if the characters aren't themselves. Can I rely on you to whip me into line if I ever have problems in the future? Please?
Well, either way, thanks for your opinion on it now- I really loved to hear that. I hope I hear more from you, and you continue to like the story as much as you seem to now!
Black-Eyed Wicca- Review!! A review!!
Ho, you're awesome! I loved hearing you liked it- I have to know this stuff!
Man, of course there's more! So much more... bwahaha. Well, anyway, thank you billions for reviewing, I hope you decide to do so again this time around!
Thank you all so much- you're wonderful.
start/
My Performance
Chapter Three (Cox)
"This is a Disaster"
JD has never, ever done anything to me. At least, not intentionally. Not a thing, and yet here I was making his life as hard as I could, setting him up for meetings with psychos every once in a while for effect.
And, no, I wasn't told specifically that there would be a gun, blood, and crashing involved, but did I need to be? The guy was crazy, and I should have known all he wanted to do with JD was kill him. Fuck him up, at least. I knew that, and yet I didn't even let a second thought pass through my mind when I agreed with the creep. I just conceded that I would get as drunk as possible as soon as possible. Which I did, regrettably so. Maybe I could've kept JD from getting hurt if I were sober.
As soon as the door of JD's hospital room is closed behind me my stomach heaves and my breath catches. Two separate urges grasp me at once. I need to run back in there and be as close to him at possible, but at the same time I need to run as far away as possible. I can't handle the dichotomy, and my body shakes. I throw up, which is dumb. Real dumb, but I can always blame the alcohol.
"Oh, Perry, is it that bad?" Jordan was not, in fact, sympathetic. She was teasing me.
I stand straight again and wipe my mouth across my arm, "Eh," is my choice of words. I don't know how I want to express myself. Do I get mad and push Jordan into line? Or do I bicker back? I can't say I feel like doing either. I start to stalk off, but I just want to run back to Newbie's room and sit in my chair.
"Seriously Per-Bear, what's up?"
She follows me a bit, and so I spin around and grimace, "I'm just a bit drunk."
She crosses her arms as I do, and we've engaged. We're in this now.
She cocks her head and puts on a smirk, "Oh, but you're always drunk, Per-Bear! Doesn't usually make you... barf," she waves a hand at the mess I had decided to leave at the door. I glance at it, briefly, and find myself a bit offended. How dare it shoot out of me at such a moment of vulnerability?
"Perry," she's somewhat serious, I see. The middle area. So if I tell her 'what's up' she'll get serious and stop acting ten. Not that I ever minded her acting ten. I do it too. And misery loves company.
"Okay, Jordan, I'll let you in on something..." I stop. No, I won't let her in on something. I don't want to. I don't have to. She has nothing to do with this. This is me and Newbie. Lynch, too, if I ever manage to get my hands around his neck again.
I spin around, and stalk off again, this time mumbling to myself about God knows what.
Her bony hand grabs my elbow and she wheels me around, "Perry, cut it out. How the hell is he?"
I don't even understand why she's here. It's, what, three in the morning? And who called her? Who thought she actually cared? Because she didn't.
She frowns, "Don't do that. I care about the kid, too."
My lips draw back, tight, because I feel like she's lying but I'm too tired to say so.
"How the hell do you think he is, Jordan?" I snap bitingly. She doesn't hear me, and waits for an actual answer. "...I don't know," I finally say, and shrug, "He got shot. Ask Barbie or something."
Come on, Jordan. You know me. You know I can't do this right now.
We share a gaze. I, or rather my eyes, tell her it's bad. She, or rather her eyes, tell me she's sorry. I ask her to stay with him. She says she will, but she's mad about it.
"I'll just ask DJ, then," she threatens, playing along. We can't let it be obviously known that we can get along. We'd rather pretend that we can't get along for a single moment.
"He's not awake yet," I warn, turning on my heel. We both know that this time I'll get away.
"I'll wait on him, then!" she's feigning stubbornness.
I pause as a final thought comes over me, "Who called you here?"
She turns to me, a strange look on her face, "No one. Check your watch, there, Per-Bear."
I check my watch. Oh, okay. It's been six hours. I guess I fell asleep or something in Newbie's room.
I go to the foyer. Turk and Carla are still there. I think Barbie's shift started.
I begin to make my way over to the couple, then I spot Kelso in the corner of my eye. He's coming for me, and I bristle by instinct. Again, I find myself with my legs apart and my arms crossed, "Need something there, Bob-o?"
He simply raises an eyebrow, "Is Dr. Dorian injured?"
I thought it was stupid that he would ask that. How could he not know? To my surprise I didn't even say anything about how stupid his question was, "He sure is."
Kelso sighs, "And?" he presses.
I shrug, and wonder why I'm in charge of playing informant for everyone tonight, "GSW." And then I leave. I go over to Carla and sit beside her; I don't know if she notices- her eyes are closed and she leans on her husband, clutching his hand tightly in her own. He looks at me with stupid, puppy dog eyes.
"He seemed... okay," I say, mostly to the wall on the other side of the room.
Gandhi, I see, wants to bolt out of the room. His eyes are wide, but he stays put, for his wife's sake, "He was awake?"
I shrug again, "Yeah..."
"Was he in a lot of pain...?" a small question, barely heard.
I think on this one, and shrug again.
"Oh, come on, Cox!"
I stare.
"Tell me the truth!"
I scream, "Fine! He was in so much pain he was choking on it!"
Gandhi stares at me in horror and disgust and I stare back with apathy.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he mutters, clutching Carla's hand tightly. She's conscious now, "What's wrong?" she asks with Turk.
I begin to think about this, actually. What the hell is wrong with me? Without the slightest warning, I throw up again, "I'm drunk," I manage to mumble before desperately staggering for the exit. Gandhi scoffs in disgust. Kelso watches in mild interest.
"Perry..." Carla.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wake up again and there's a very intrusive, uncomfortable feeling piercing my right side. I wriggle just a little and catch Dr. Wen's face above me.
"Hold your breath, Dr. Dorian..." he mutters. He's very concentrated, though I recognize this procedure to be a rather routine one. He's simply draining my lung. Of what, I have no idea (oh, I have every idea), but it's taking a bit of power to get. Must be something thick. Nothing normal. Okay, I know it's blood. Big deal.
It hurts, at one point. My lung is still injured, it seems, so this is just very inconvenient to say the least. My eyes close on their own accord and my back arches off of the bed, which just makes it all ten times worse. I basically scream in response, and I have to admit the sound even bothers me.
"Easy, there," Dr. Cox's hand on my shoulder suddenly. I search wildly before my eyes rest on him, and he just stares at the thin, wiry tube sticking out of my side, "Relax, Newbie, be still."
I had very mixed feelings about Perry's attendance. I mean (I admit it) I always feel safer with him around. And relief was my first reaction this time as well. However with his presence came the memory of the last time we spoke. Horrific. I frown grimly as I feel the blood leave my deflated lung, but not because of the discomfort or the pain.
"You... set... me... up," I rasp, mostly to myself. Dr. Cox may or may not have heard me. Either way, I don't care. He doesn't respond. Instead he looks up at Dr. Wen's (who I believe did hear, but didn't understand) determined expression and inquires, "When are you taking him in for surgery?"
The tube slips from my ribs and a cold pad is pressed to the new wound and taped down. Once Wen finishes bandaging me up, he steps back and sighs, "I don't know. Soon, maybe."
Dr. Cox snorts, determined to express how inadequate he finds Wen's response.
I close my eyes and wait for something else to happen, because I don't really know what to do with myself at the moment. I want to see Turk or Elliot or Carla. That would definitely make me feel better.
The door opens and closes. The blinds clack noisily against the glass and crash cruelly into my head. I feel awful. Almost like I have the worst bout influenza in history of the world. Plus the inability to breath properly and being partially paralyzed.
Suddenly, fear rushes through me. I try to sit up, no luck. Steadfastly, I ignore the pain burning away in my spine, "Dear God, can I walk?"
I find myself with no answer, and I look to Cox, who has merely lifted an eyebrow, "Just lie down, Jessica. No, you can't walk now, your spine was almost shot in two."
I don't know what to think of that. I change the subject, because I don't feel like hearing about permanent damage quite yet. I'd rather speculate.
"I feel better now," I let him know.
"We-hell, that's just great, Sylvia! 'Cause you don't look better," he says it, almost cruelly.
My eyes narrow. I so do not need this crap from him right now. My brief frustration catches him, I see, and he softens up.
"You said," and I'm elated, for I can talk with minimal trouble. It won't last, "you'd talk to me when I was doing better."
Cox raised an eyebrow, again. He does this often, "We're talking now."
Does he really think I was going to forget? "Come on, Perry."
He sighs and falls into the bedside chair, "Well, then, what's the question, Newbie?"
He's going to make this hard? I think I have a right to know this with no trouble. Whatever decision it is he made, I deserve to know about- I'm the one suffering for it. This is crap.
"Dr. Cox, please. Just tell me what you did. What happened?" I feel like I know. Hell, I do know. Dr. Cox set me up. What I don't know is why. And... there had to be a reason. He doesn't actually want me dead, right? No, he couldn't... he ran me here, didn't he?
He leans back and runs his hands over his face and back through his curls, "Alright, fine. You asked."
He waits a good amount of time before clasping his hands and leaning forward on his elbows. His amber eyes stare hard into my own blue ones and I find myself looking around constantly. I'm not really very good at this. At least, not right now.
"You know what happened? I found that psycho in the halls. And he said he hated you, and we argued. But I wasn't really listening, Newbie. I wasn't, because Jack was there. And I wasn't the one holding him," this statement of his is just too strange. My gaze shoots to his face, and his falls to the floor in the same second.
"I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just told him I'd have you at the bar around midnight. I just figured, I guess... that he was going to rough you up some. Just get in your face. I don't know, Newbie. He had Jack, and I couldn't have him doing stuff like that. I couldn't. I figured... give him what he wants, get out," I can tell his throat is sore. It has to be- I can almost see the horrible lump he has to talk around. His voice is so strained and half of his words are just choked out. Bitingly, he concludes his story, "I didn't think."
I don't know how to feel. I mean, the psycho had Jack. Of course Dr. Cox would do anything for him. But to sell my life away? He... didn't even hesitate. Didn't even try to find another way. What... does he even care? Could be an act- he's just defending himself by pretending he's sorry or something. I'm overanalyzing, which is dangerous, but there's nothing I can do about it.
As I re-enter the scene I find myself glaring. Dr. Cox gives me looks every once in a while, then becomes restless as he waits for me to pass a verdict.
...Guilty.
"Get... out."
He loosens instantly as the anticipation leaves him, and he rises to his feet, "Oh, come on, Newbie-!"
No excuses! My eyes shut tight and my stomach rolls. I point to the door and realize just how hard I had begun to shake. It's not grief or disbelief or anything like that. I'm mad. I'm pissed. Livid.
"JD-"
I scream. "GET OUT!"
Dear God, my chest.
"God, JD, think for once!" He can't ever just be sympathetic, can he? I glare at him as he feels my chest and opens my mouth to look for blood rising or anything else that's 'not good'.
And I don't know why now is the time I decide to be fed up with his attitude... maybe I'm just stressed. Whatever the reason, I hope it passes, because I really hate feeling this way. I hate feeling angry, and normally that keeps me from it.
"Out," I croak. I see a hint of grief in his murky eyes and he leaves.
"I'm sorry."
I don't think he wanted me to hear. He just wanted to be able to think he apologized.
"Woah, dude, what's going on in here!?" Turk is in here all of the sudden, and he's feeling my chest, searching vainly for the chest tube that isn't there (and, I assume, should be), "Dr. Cox!" he calls, but I know the borderline-alcoholic has already gone.
"Turk," I try to tell him, but all that comes up is blood and an amazing, light-headed feeling. I focus enough to try and see if Turk as drugged me, but he hasn't, he's rushing about trying to see what's wrong with me (since, apparently, there is something wrong with me), "Dr. Wen!" he half-screams, and I'm gone, gone, gone.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I had known that entering the room when Dr. Cox was still there wouldn't work. I knew I'd just be sent out, or not given a moment to speak. So, I settled to hide in wait for Mr. Surly Curly to leave, but it took a bit. There seemed to be lots of silence going on in JD's room and I have to say, I thought something nice was happening.
Then my man just... flails, like he wants to land himself a punch. He screams something, and I see Dr. Cox go at him, just a bit, and I'm gone around the corner, taking long strides for the room, ready to give Cox one to the back of his stupid, big head.
He runs in to me, and I grab him, "What the hell did you say to him?" is as daring as I go.
"I just told him why he was shot," he says, looking somewhere else. Looking back, I wonder if he wanted me to just kill him where we stood- I find it likely.
"What's that mean?"
"I just told him I set him up."
What can I say?
And so thus he rips free and almost sprints down the hallway. I hear bad stuff in JD's room and my heartbeat soars at record speed as my stomach drops all the way to my feet. God, what the hell? Cox didn't go in there to finish the guy off, did he? Is he really such a psycho?
I didn't have time to just stand there and think about it. I fly into the room and scream for Dr. Wen, for help.
He's here.
Come on, JD.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And I don't know why now is the time he decides to be fed up with my attitude... maybe he's just stressed. Whatever the reason, I hope it passes, because I really hate him feeling this way. Normally he keeps himself from the anger.
I guess this is different though. This time I didn't just humiliate him in front of everyone. This time I almost killed him, and I had no real excuse for it, and no visible compassion. He should be angry, and I shouldn't be angry that he's angry. I shouldn't be angry at all.
I grimace at how horrible am as I sit there on the couch, alone with my scotch. I don't even bother turning on the television because I know I won't be able to take in a second of what I see.
I wonder how he's doing- I'm sure they've got him in surgery now. I should be there. My body tries to move itself from the couch in desperacy, but I placate it by swiftly downing the rest of my scotch.
I remember that it was my night to watch Jack, but I absolutely cannot trust myself with the task. I couldn't even keep him from being carted off by a stranger.
Or... the people taking care of him couldn't... what the hell? They just let him be carried off by some strange guy?!
Maybe this wasn't all my fault after all.
Enraged and drunk, I shoot to my feet and exit the apartment. I need to smash some faces.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I arrive there at the hospital soon enough and in my rage it takes me about ten minutes to figure out how to get to the day care center. Subconsciously, I note to go check on JD after this- he's definitely out of surgery by now.
"I can get you fired!" I roar before I even find a caretaker to target.
A male nurse strides up to me, business-like. It's almost funny, he's almost half a foot shorter than I am, and he's even scrawnier than Newbie, "Can I help you, sir?"
I'm sure he realizes how drunk I am, even though I don't, and I sneer, "I don't think so! You couldn't help my four-year-old, so how could you help me!" Along with my sobriety, my clarity in speaking has gone out the window.
"Excuse me?" He turns his head a bit in a stupid semblance of confusion. His eyes are all squinty and I just want to punch him.
So, I do.
Two nurses cry out at once and come hurrying over, "Simon!" they squeak together.
His name is Simon? I sneer at him as he holds his face in astonishment. He begins to pull himself together and I sense a punch coming five seconds before it's even launched. I punch him again, and this time he hits the ground and the two nurses come at me, determined to keep me away from their Simon.
I shove them away mercilessly, and begin yelling nonsense. I see Kelso coming for me in the distance, which only manages to excite me further, and I shove a doctor off of me, and let loose a few swear words. Children are crying. This whole thing is a disaster, but I haven't realized it yet.
"Dr. Cox!" I wheel around, instinctively. I see Gandhi there.
Wheeling JD, who stares in suppressed horror.
Now I've realized it.
/end
A/N: Bit of a wait there, no? Sorry, I was trying to get some medical research done, and I couldn't fix things like I wanted. So medical stuff can now be considered inaccurate because I should have researched before I even started chapter two. Sorry, sorry.
Also, I feel as though the plot is suffering- I don't think I meditated Cox's involvement near enough. I'll fix that up as soon as possible.
This chapter just needed to be over- it didn't work out right at all by any means.
JD shouldn't be so angry... but it worked out better.
No more excuses!!
Love you guys, hope you liked it!!
-PEACE OUT
NESSA