A New Road

by jemlou

The work of one man had destroyed everything they had, everything they loved. After losing what they had worked so hard to keep, the group have to find a new path to follow in the world. (BOOK TWO) -HIATUS-

3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

There was a long, awkward moment of silence after we had all initially encountered each other. A lot of staring and down right gawping was done - mostly on our end. Andrea's figure was hard not to stare at, in our defence. Just taking in our friend's stature was enough to stun us.

Her figure had hunched over slightly, her right arm in a sling similar to Rick's. She took the aid of a walking stick to balance herself though her body still seemed to shake. Taking in her face, the right side of it was scarred horrifically, seemingly from a burn. A bandage was wrapped around her head, covering her right eye slightly, her skin seemed red raw. She had been through the wars it seemed, but she was alive. Standing right before us, breathing and all. It was a kick in the teeth to our assumption of her demise.

Sasha looked in a lot better health. Apart from a few bruises and bandages wrapped around her forearms, nothing else seemed different from her. My eyes lingered on the bandages and I couldn't help but make assumptions of my own about their suspicious location. My thoughts immediately jumped to her deceased brother and I swallowed back the pain, my sympathy passing towards my friend before me.

It was Sasha who broke the tension, stalking forward and wrapping her arms around me. She never said a word but held me tight and I responded quickly, glad to see she was alright. Wordlessly, she let go and repeated the act with Grimes boys, who both accepted her embrace as I had. Andrea stood back and didn't approach. Though I gathered her state rendered her incapable of copying Sasha's lead. Instead she smiled big when I met her gaze and even from a distance away, I saw the tears glazing her eyes. Quietly, Sasha turned and asked Martinez if we could have some privacy. The man responded saying he'd rather stay, though told the other Woodbury men to leave them be after telling them to bring over a set of chairs and a table for us to sit at.

Carl, Rick and I sat on one side of the table, and after Sasha had helped Andrea over, the pair sat opposite us with Martinez leaning on the wall a little bit away. I couldn't help but share a quick glance with Rick at the odd situation - so very formal, it seemed - but neither of us voiced our curiosity.

"The meeting commences." Martinez breathed under his breath, chuckling lowly. I eyed him out the corner of my eye, not able to shake off how his comment and attitude reminded me of Merle - though I supposed the two were comrades once upon a time. The two women before us sent a set of glares towards the man, though they were too friendly to be taken seriously and caused Martinez to chuckle again. Another glance was shared between Rick and I.

"Y'know, we were starting to believe we were the only ones left from the prison." Sasha began, letting out a shaky breath. "I can't believe you guys are still alive."

"We were thinking the same thing." Rick muttered, his eyes lingering on Andrea. The woman winced a bitter chuckle.

"It's not a pretty sight, is it?" She grimaced, leaning heavily against the table in front of us for support. I gathered the table was more for Andrea's benefit than anything else. "They're my battle wounds."

"How did-" I began, struggling to voice my thoughts. "I thought- we thought you'd died." Andrea smiled weakly and we regarded each other for a moment, taking in each other like long-time friends. That's exactly what we were.

"So did I." She admitted with an attempt of a shrug. I couldn't quite grasp the idea that Andrea was here, alive and talking. It was as if I was looking at a ghost and was glad everyone else could see her too - a brief thought had passed through my mind that I too was hallucinating now. "I guess there were impossible odds for my survival, but I apparently beat them." She glanced towards Sasha and her eyes lingered on Martinez before Andrea turned her attention back to the three of us before her. "I remember hearing your voice, Rick, telling me to get the hell out of the tower. So I did. I ran for my life down, knowing that my mistake had truly fucked up a lot of things, but I didn't have a long time to regret much." A pause as she began to cough. Martinez left the room briefly to bring the woman a glass of water, which she took with a grateful thanks. Rick's and my gaze met again and Andrea continued. "Then there came the noise. I mean, I didn't really remember a lot of what it looked like to be in a building that blew up, but the noise I do remember. It was fucking loud. I can't even describe it to you really. After, of course, I blacked out."

"You couldn't have survived something like that." Rick cut in suddenly, shaking his head. "I was stood right beside it when it happened and there was no way you could have. And I didn't see you get out in time either." Andrea smiled weakly before shrugging again.

"I'm living proof before you now that you can survive." She countered. "Like I said, the odds were impossible, but I some how proved them wrong." Andrea glanced at me for a long time before continuing. "Before the outbreak, I remember watching this thing on TV about '911'. It was about survivors of that day and there was this part about these fire-fighters who went into the towers to rescue people." I was confused at where she was leading with this, but I didn't interrupt. Andrea paused to wheeze a breath before continuing again. "There was this one group that were inside, when the towers came down, that got trapped on the stairwell when it happened. Somehow they survived. Something about the position they were in when the floors came in on them and some other science variables explained how." Another paused. "But they beat the impossible and survived." A shrug. "I guess something similar must have happened to me too."

"What happened after you blacked out?" Carl asked, breaking the moment's silence after Andrea had finished. She turned to the boy briefly to smile at him.

"I was unconscious for a long time after that, I couldn't tell you how long exactly." She carried on. "I don't really remember anything too vivid, just some brief moments when I was pulled out the rubble and carried out to safety."

"Who saved you?" Carl implored. Andrea didn't provide a verbal answer and instead turned her gaze towards the man that remained standing. I was taken back by this revelation and found myself raising an eyebrow. Martinez had saved her?

"Try not to look too surprised, princess." Martinez muttered, eyeing me with a narrowed gaze.

"Hard to believe, really." I replied, matching his frown. "You don't seem to have a history in saving people, do you?" Martinez stared me down for a moment before shaking his head once and exhaling deeply.

"When the fighting started up again after the explosion, I kinda baled." He began his version of the tale. "No one saw me as they were all a little preoccupied."

"And exactly why did you leave?" I cut in, before he could continue on some more. Martinez's expression softened a little and the man sighed once more.

"After that second attack, things were starting to come loose in the Governor. Sure, I guess I always knew he was a bit fucked in the head, but I put that down to everything that happened to his little girl." Martinez paused. "But after that attack and after you guys came to Woodbury and fucked him over, the guy just lost it. I always had my doubts about the man and his motives. I mean, after the kidnapping and what happened with you and your friend, princess-" Martinez trailed off, meeting my gaze and grimacing. "He wasn't the man I wanted to follow; he'd changed. And I didn't like the new Governor. So I opted out the fight, end of story."

"Your epiphany came a little late." Rick muttered, bitterly. Martinez eyed him silently before nodding, slowly.

"Yeah, I got that, man." He replied, quietly, seemingly eyeing him with sympathy. Beside me, Rick tensed under the expression and I felt the urge to reach out and give the man's hand a squeeze of reassurance. I knew my attempts of comfort would be met with a harsh return though - our friendship wasn't the same anymore - so I held myself back.

"But you came back." Carl interrupted, eyeing solely Martinez. "You came back for Andrea." Martinez shifted uncomfortably under the boy's gaze for a moment.

"Not exactly. I ran into Sasha." He gestured unnecessarily to the woman. "She was nearly overwhelmed by some biters when I got to her. Helped her out and told her to come with me to Woodbury, where it was safe." Martinez shrugged. "To me, that was when I forgot about 'sides' completely. I didn't care who she was." A sigh from the man. "But the woman didn't wanna go."

"I told him to go back." Sasha piped in. "To see if anyone else was alive." She paused for a moment and her gaze glazed over for a minute. Her hands rubbed her bandaged forearms absently and my heart saddened at the sight of the woman before me, her thoughts, without a doubt, on her brother. "When we got there though, there didn't seem to be anything left. There was no more gun firing anymore, no more cries, no one alive it looked like. Everyone was long gone by the time we got there. I thought everyone was dead."

"We saw the Governor's body being chewed on by a group of biters." Martinez added before shuddering. "There was a lot of the Woodbury lot dead, as a matter of a fact too. Can't say we saw many bodies on your side." A deafening pause. The glance between Sasha and Martinez spoke full volumes.

"Did you," Rick began, his voice shaking. "Did you see them?" He sounded so defeated, so ready to break. The expression that Sasha turned to him with only seemed to make the man shake more.

"Rick, Carl, I'm so sorry." Sasha breathed, shaking her head.

"Was she one of them?" Rick asked before anyone could display anymore sympathy. Sasha frowned in confusion. "Did they turn?" Sasha's eyes widened with understanding before she hesitantly turned to Martinez. "Tell me." Martinez paused before sighing.

"I dealt with it, man." Was his only reply, though it was enough for Rick. The man nodded once to Martinez and sent him a look of gratitude. Martinez shied away, uncomfortably as Rick lowered his head to stare at the hands in his lap. Glancing across the man's bowed head, I eyed Carl. The boy nodded at the revelation before raising his eyes to mine. I tried to provide the boy a marginal comfort with my expression and Carl smiled weakly back.

"Carry on with what you were telling us." I prompted weakly. Sasha nodded firmly and cleared her throat.

"Martinez insisted we leave after we found nothing; head to Woodbury." She continued, glancing awkwardly at the father and son beside me. "But I saw something in the rubble from the explosion."

"When we pulled Andrea out, she was barely alive." Martinez carried on for her. "We took one of the Woodbury trucks and headed back. I sent for Doc Stevens to look after her, then told Milton what had happened. Later that evening a few of my boys came back, somehow they'd survived it all. Some of them had had the same idea as me." The man pushed away from the wall he leant on and paced a little. "In the last two months, we've patched up Woodbury. We lost a lot of people that day, just like you, but we made things work. It's different from when the Governor ruled it, we have no leader. Everything is better now-"

"How come you didn't try looking for anyone?" Rick piped, his sudden furious gaze on Andrea and Sasha. The women shared a look of confusion. "Did you not think to try and find any of the group or were you too busy soaking up paradise to care?"

"Rick-?!"

"I was recovering!" Andrea cut me off, a deep frown on her face. Rick only glared at her, then shifted his eyes to Sasha.

"And what's your excuse, huh?" He demanded. "Because you look fine to me." Sasha blanched back.

"She just lost her brother!" Andrea tried to defend the woman, but it only fuelled Rick more.

"And I lost my wife and daughter!" He screamed, sending the room silent.

I glanced over to Carl, the pair of us stunned by this sudden turn of anger from the man between us. Carl only returned a wide eyed expression that showed his confusion. Between us, the man was seething with anger, his breaths heavy and his body shaking. I considered reaching out to attempt to calm and comfort him, though I reminded myself again of the bad air between us both and how that would no doubt just anger him more.

"Rick," Andrea began, calmly this time. "We would have tried looking if we could." Rick's response was just a steady glare and I sighed deeply.

"Andrea's right, Rick." I tried. "Look how long it took us to recover. I mean, it's been two months and we've only started looking now."

"And who's faults that." Carl muttered under his breath, audible for everyone. Rick glanced briefly at his son before turning his wide gaze to me.

"What did you tell him?" He asked and I frowned.

"I didn't tell him anything." I countered, not liking his accusing tone. Rick's face showed his disbelief, which ignited the anger within me. "He's referring to all that time we had to wait for you when you were out 'looking'."

"And did you tell him why I was looking?!" Rick demanded. I glared at him.

"No, I did not!" I hissed.

"What were you looking for?" Carl butted in before Rick could, cutting the man short.

"Nothing to concern yourself with." Rick muttered, running a hand through his hair. The other three in the room regarded the exchange between us silently, in bafflement no doubt. It wasn't hard to pick out the tension between our trio, which would surely come as a surprise to the other women in the room. As Rick turned away, his expression seething, I turned back to the women opposite us and attempted to smile when I met Sasha's gaze. The woman smiled weakly back, but I could see it was forced. Andrea eyed Rick with a frown.

"So," Martinez picked through the awkwardness. "Why don't you tell us what happened to you guys that day?"

Neither of us replied for a long moment, unsure which of us would begin or where to even start. In the end, Rick took his rightful turn as leader and began.

"After the explosion, I told Ruby to go get Lori and the kids, to get them to safety." He began in a blank tone. "There were complications and they ended up having to cut through the yard-"

"Walkers cut us off from the garage." Carl made his input, ignoring the look he got from his father. "When we tried leaving the prison, a Woodbury man cut us off. He was about to kill Ruby when Merle saved us. When we got outside, he left us though to find Daryl." Carl glanced awkwardly at me and I smiled, encouragingly.

"We saw Rick across the yard and made a run for it, Merle had told us which way to get out before he left." I continued from Carl, memories of that day running fresh through my memory all of a sudden. "Carl reached Rick first and the pair headed to the exit, I followed on from Lori." I paused, knowing what was coming next, but unsure what else to say on it. Meeting Rick's gaze, I attempted to show my confliction and for the first time in what seemed like a long time, the man smiled properly at me. It stunned me for the moment and I couldn't help but feel comforted by this brief glimpse into our previous friendship. I grasped hold of the contact quickly.

"That's when they got Lori and Judith." Rick concluded for me, not meeting anyone's gaze and turning his attention to the table top. That didn't stop sympathetic expression falling on the other three. "I got shot twice when I tried to escape. Carl and I got out first, Ruby caught up with us later on." He paused, drumming his fingers on the surface top before glancing at me. "You better finish off, because my memory is a bit hazy." I smiled briefly and nodded.

"We got walking until we found a road, then we decided to follow it away from Woodbury." I ignored the other three's expressions. "Later on we came across a car, hotwired it and drove it until we reached a town. We found a house to hold-up in and have been there since, waiting for Rick to recover so we could come back to find the rest of the group."

"Looks like you're doing pretty well." Martinez noted.

"Woodbury wasn't exactly on the route though." Rick muttered. "We intended to avoid this place."

"Bet you're glad you hadn't now." Martinez countered, attempting to smile. Rick didn't respond, merely stared blankly back at the man. "Gotta love story time." The man continued, attempting to lighten the mood. It didn't work too well.

After we had each shared information, Martinez informed us that he would go muster up some food for us, after he guessed we must be hungry. In his absence, we moved into the room that Sasha and Andrea had vacated earlier when Andrea insisted she wanted to move around a little. It appeared to once be an office and Sasha told us that it was now being used to stock take all the food, weapons, ammo and even people of Woodbury. I met Carl's eyes at this and the pair of us couldn't help but smirk to ourselves.

"We're trying to get things organised around here," Andrea told us. "We want this place to be more of a community, now the Governor's gone."

"After the attack on the prison, Woodbury lost a lot of its people so security is pretty thin now." Sasha continued. "But a lot of the older children are being taught how to use weapons, so that should bring an improvement. I think Martinez has just started up a programme for shooting lessons actually."

"The barriers around the town are checked constantly for an gaps." Andrea leant herself against the desk, wheezing a little as she did. "There's not as many guards on the wall as there was before, but it's manageable. A lot more people are stepping up to help."

"We have a pretty decent stock supply as well." Sasha held up a list of meaningless pieces of paper to us. "There are supply groups going out all the time and sometimes they bring back survivors so we have to keep on top of food and stock. Thankfully we have plenty of room to house people, so space isn't an issue yet."

"Of course, when things finally get sorted out regarding security and such, I think there is plans to start up different systems, such as schooling." Andrea almost beamed at us, though I don't think it was returned. "Milton has talked of turning some of the buildings into schools, churches, perhaps even a library. We have so many plans for improvement."

When Andrea finished, the room trailed off into silence. The way the pair stared at us, it seemed they were expecting a response. Judging by their bright expressions, they were expecting an eager response. Though personally I found no joy in any of the plans and 'great things' they were telling us. This wasn't the reunion I had expected when I thought of meeting up with the others. Sasha and Andrea stood before us, alive and well, though it didn't feel right. It didn't feel the same as it had done two months ago, the pair seemed different. Perhaps the stretch of two months had changed a lot of things regarding friendships altogether, not just Rick's and mine. It certainly didn't feel like we were talking to friends right now. I had noticed vaguely that Carl's hand hadn't left go of the gun on his belt, despite being in the company of the two women right now. And strangely, I couldn't find myself disagreeing with his decision.

"Sounds like you've certainly made yourselves at home." Rick noted, bluntly. His words drew the smiles from their faces. "Gotten pretty comfortable, I imagine."

"Woodbury offers us sanctuary, Rick." Sasha tried to explain. "It offers us a life. Much more than what the prison did."

"We're tired of being scared all the time." Andrea sighed. "Being on the road-" She trailed off, shaking her head. "I'm done. I've seen too much, been through too much, lived through too much. Isn't safety what we've been trying to look for anyway? Well, Woodbury has that."

"What are you saying?" I asked, slowly. Andrea met my gaze, sadly, before shaking her head.

"Woodbury is our home now." She told me, a sense of finality to her tone. "We're not leaving."

Her confession sent us into silence again and I couldn't help but glance over at Rick, noting the way his unslinged hand was clenched tightly, his jaw line firm. I half expected the man to argue with her, but he remained silent, regarding the pair with a cold stare. Under his gaze, Sasha rubbed her forearms unconsciously and Andrea shifted a little before clearing her throat, harshly.

"You're all welcome to stay too, y'know." Andrea offered and I couldn't help but shake my head and turn away from her.

The idea of staying in Woodbury, in this Godforsaken place, made my stomach churn. The memories of my previous visits hit me then and I ran a shaky hand through my hair to attempt to clear my head. The dingy room, the cries and groans from the room next door, the intense beatings, the Governor's breath, his touch-

"We can't stay." Surprisingly, it was Carl who spoke up. "We have to keep looking for the others." I met the boy's gaze then and he smiled wide at me. "I mean, Daryl will be looking for us, won't he, Ruby? And he'll be with Sophia and the others. We have to find them." I smiled weakly at Carl's light tone, his words uplifting me as the images of the others took the place of my horrific memories. Sophia's grinning face, Daryl's warm embrace-

"But afterwards," Sasha tried again. My stomach began to churn. "After you find them. You could all come back here. Where it's safe."

"No." Rick stated, bluntly, before they could try sell Woodbury anymore.

"But-"

"We will not stay here." Rick hissed, sending a glare at the two women. "After everything that has happened here, after everything that has happened with that man-" He shook his head, glancing back at me and I felt comforted in the encouraging nod he sent my way. "Our intention was to steer well clear of Woodbury and that still stands. No matter how brilliant you think it is here, I'm afraid your opinions seem a little delusional to us."

"At least stay the night?" Another voice interrupted us. Martinez strolled into the room, eyeing us all calmly. "There's a couple rooms in the girls' building that are free that you can use to rest up. We can bring your food up to you and I can even get Doc Stevens to take a look at your wounds. I mean, you did say you'd been shot twice. You may be a tough son of a bitch, but it's best to be safe." He nodded to Rick. "In the morning, we can give you some gas and some extra supplies."

"Why would you do that?" I asked, suspious of his offerings. Martinez sighed.

"I guess I'm trying to attempt to repent my sins with good deeds." He shrugged, chuckling lightly. "It's the least we can do and I'm sure the girls would appreciate it, after not seeing you for two months."

I glanced at Andrea and Sasha, then back to Martinez, unsure how far to trust the man. The Woodbury air still made me uneasy and I couldn't shake off Martinez's place beside the Governor, despite the latter being dead. Though Andrea and Sasha trusted him and the town, and that eased my tension slightly. The atmosphere may not feel right between us all, but they were part of the group and friends. That had to count for something? My gaze ran over Rick and his injured form. Martinez offered him medical treatment and I couldn't ignore that. While the man may be up on his feet, my care for him couldn't be completely trusted and the offer was far too tempting. A professional eye would sure be beneficial and would definitely ease my worrying at the very least.

"I think we'll pass-"

"Rick, wait." I quickly cut the man off from his denial of the offer and earned myself a confused look from the man. Rick glanced at the others before taking the strides towards me so he could just address me.

"You're considering accepting the offer?" He asked, baffled. He spoke in a tone quiet enough only for me to hear. "You trust them?"

"Andrea and Sasha were our friends." I pointed out and Rick shook his head.

"Yes, were our friends." Rick hissed under his breath. "Things are different now. Look where we are!"

"But they wouldn't hurt us." I countered, silencing the man quickly. "It's one night, Rick. They're giving us gas, that we need, and more supplies. You also need medical attention." Rick sighed, though I continued before he could argue anymore. "Look, I don't like this place anymore than you do, you know that. But I think we have to bit the bullet tonight and just accept the offer. We won't let our guard down and we'll leave if anything gets weird. It's just one night and we can handle that."

Rick eyed me silently, taking in my argument and contemplating it with his own. Despite our ruined friendship, Rick still seemed more than happy to take advice from me with regards to planning and our next move. I was glad I still provided some influence in the man's life and hoped that this would be a step in the right direction in mending the rest of our camaraderie. With one final sigh, I watched as Rick nodded slowly and as he turned to address the others once more, accepting the offer they had provided to us.

We were led out the office building to another down the street, where Andrea and Sasha apparently lived. It was a large, two-storied home with an almost idealistic feel to it. The girls told us they were able to choose where to live and liked the look of this place the most as it seemed very much like a home. At this remark, I found myself blanching and caught a deep frown on Rick's face too. Martinez provided us with two rooms opposite each other - one for Rick and Carl, the other for myself. The rooms were basic inside, but seemed very homely. At first, Rick seemed uneasy about the splitting up of our trio but I quickly assured the man that it was fine, not without being reassured that the man still cared by his worrying. Carl whispered to me briefly to sleep with a gun under my pillow, to which I replied that I always did.

We were to eat downstairs altogether, though Rick, Carl and I were given the option of showering before we did. At this offer, the three of us were stunned for a moment. In all the time we had spent together, showering had been none existence and the thought of it now sent us all into a complete daze. With only one bathroom, we took it in turns to shower and the boys insisted that I took the first turn. I didn't say no.

The feeling of being clean was indescribable and I was pleasantly surprised to find that either Andrea or Sasha had left a pile of clean clothes outside the door for me to change into after I'd done. With a clean body, clean hair and a set of clean clothes, I felt so different, so much lighter. I couldn't help but leave the bathroom with a smile on my face, making Carl snort as he passed by me to go next.

"I can't even tell you how good it feels to be clean, Rick. Just wait till-" I stopped my ravings as I made my way into Rick's room, stopping at the scene.

Rick sat on the bed, the phone from the bedside table on his lap, the receiver held up to his ear. I had known from my previous examinations and just plain common sense that the phone did not work and yet I had most certainly heard Rick talk into it as I entered. I had expected maybe Andrea or Sasha was in here with him, but the room was empty. Just Rick and the telephone. The man stared back at me now, silent, with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked, slowly. Rick's grip on the phone tightened. "Who are you talking to?"

"I'm-" Rick stuttered, looking strangely lost. "I'm- I can hear her voice, Ruby. Clear as I hear you. I can hear her!" I didn't need elaboration on who the 'her' was. I swallowed hard.

"What the hell are you doing, Rick?!" I hissed, suddenly angry. "What would you have done if Carl walked in here now, huh?" The man shook his head, wordlessly. "How were you going to explain to him that you're talking to his dead mother down the end of a telephone that doesn't work?"

"I need to talk to her!" Rick replied, his voice shaky. "Don't you understand?! I need to hear her voice again, I need to tell her all the things I couldn't do before. Let me do this!"

"She's not real, Rick-"

"I know!" Rick sighed, lowering the receiver from his ear and staring down at the item with a longing expression. "I know she isn't real, Ruby. Lord, I know that. But-" He swallowed, thickly. "But I'm just not ready to let her go yet." Slowly, Rick raised his gaze to mine and held it firmly. Exhaling deeply, I nodded despite my better judgement.

"It's not good for you." I tried, quietly. "You can't bring her back with a broken telephone and your son certainly doesn't need to see you like this." Rick nodded, understandingly. I sighed once more. "Do what you need to do, Rick, but please be careful." With one last sad smile, I left the man alone, making sure I shut the door as I left. Confining Rick with his darkness.

Once Rick had taken his shower after Carl, the three of us headed downstairs to meet the others for food. Andrea, Sasha and surprisingly Milton greeted us at the table. I was stunned by Milton's appearance and the man smiled in greeting, declaring that it was good to see me. I was taken back at first, but saw the sincerity in the man's words and expression and found myself returning the gesture. Martinez joined us soon after with food and the seven of us tucked into a somewhat odd dinner. Despite the odd mismatching, it was almost comforting to be sat around the table together like we were. Milton spoke lengthily with Rick and I, attempting to catch up with what had happened on that day two months ago and eager to hear what it was like on the outside. Rick seemed strangely at ease now in talking, whether it be the addition to the company or whether his pre-dinner activities had relaxed him was unsure.

"How do you intend to find the others?" Andrea asked, her question genuine. "Where do you think they've gone?"

"East." Rick replied, shortly. "We're heading back towards the prison." This earned a few raised eyebrows. "We judged the exit of the garage and where it led out to. We intend to find Glenn and that lot somewhere East, hoping that's the way they were heading." Rick ate quickly, almost as if he was afraid the food would get taken from him. Considering it, I realised this was a meal worth a week's worth that we had been living on. I couldn't help but wolf my own portion down too, Carl doing the same. No one else around the table commented on this though.

"Plus they'll be looking for us too." Carl added, happily. "Daryl will be especially and he's good at finding people. Isn't he, Ruby?" Surprised at the confirmation the boy sought in me, I found myself nodding slowly.

"And you think Daryl would be with Glenn and the others?" Sasha asked, curiously.

"I asked him, if the prison fell, that he'd find Sophia for me. Make sure she was safe." I explained quickly. "Like Carl said, Daryl's good at finding people. I don't doubt that he succeeded in finding her." I paused. "If he made it." My comment sent the room into silence and I tensed at the prospect of my words.

I had always tried to remain optimistic for the well-being of the others and my conversations with Rick and Carl about them kept me going. We weren't going to give up hope and never once had we assumed we were the only ones left standing. Though now, sat with everyone around the table, it seemed more likely that hope would be fuelled more as we had found more survivors. But strangely enough, I felt a heavy feeling in my gut as I listened to Carl's happy words and his clear optimism. Perhaps seeing the others again had maybe enlightened us on the fact that while some had made it out that day, others had not. Tyreese blared to mind immediately and there was no getting away from his memories every time I looked Sasha's way now. He hadn't made it out. And maybe he wasn't the only one?

I thought of Rick's question before to Andrea and Sasha, how he had demanded why they hadn't searched for the others, for any survivors. While we had the intention to, we hadn't actually put the plan in motion until now and I couldn't help but resent the man beside me because of that. Rick had kept us stationary at that house, he had kept us from searching for our friends. What if we were too late? What if our delay had cost their lives? Would that be on Rick?

Though it was me that hadn't been strong enough to argue with the man. I hadn't been brave enough to stand up to him and urge that we move on sooner. I should have done something earlier, I realised. We shouldn't have only started looking now, we could have found them already if we'd set out earlier. Maybe it was on me too?

The hunter's face buzzed into my mind, sending painful waves to my heart and head. It seemed so long since I'd properly thought of just him, truly him. Guilt, confusion, shame. I recalled my nightmares and remembered the countless times I'd stood over Daryl's body, heard his dying cry. What if that was real? What if Daryl hadn't survived, despite all the times we'd assured ourselves that they - he - had? I had left things between him and I hanging and as I thought of all that was left unsaid, I felt my heart clench. I had been the coward who was too scared to say anything to him and now I could have lost him forever. Maybe we were too foolish to see things to optimistically? Maybe we shouldn't be expecting to find everyone so safe and sound? Because maybe not everyone would be alive.

I mean, Lori, Judith and Tyreese sure weren't coming back.

"I'm sorry, I suddenly don't feel very hungry." I muttered, pushing away from the table. Conversation had passed in my inner mulling, though it stopped at my actions. "Excuse me." Rick, who was seated beside me, grabbed my arm before I could truly leave. I eyed the man cautiously, tense under his grasp.

"You alright?" He asked, quietly, studying me with a frown. I nodded, wordlessly, though knew I wasn't convincing him. Rick loosened his grip and allowed me to leave, though the frown still remained firmly on his face. I left though, without another word and headed up to my designated room, aware of the silence that followed me.

I cared about Daryl. That statement felt so true. A blatant fact. The happy times with the hunter, the sad times, any time with him brought me pain because it may be the only time with him I'd ever have now. I couldn't bear to think of the possibilities, yet they still overwhelmed me as I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling above the bed. Was Daryl still alive? Had he found Sophia and the others? Was he safe? Had he even made it out of the prison? Or was he another we had lost that day? I already began to mourn the man, my breath hitching into sobs as I tried to control myself. It seemed, while I had been worried for so long for Carl to be the one to explode in his bottled up emotions, I had forgotten to worry about myself. I had done the same as Carl; put on a brave face and tried to push away the pain. But my cracks were breaking now, just as they had with Carl.

Too many memories, too many feelings, too much pain-

"Ruby?" My breath held as I almost thought it was hisvoice. Almost. I eyed the door, carefully, hoping that another person stood on the other side of it and I wasn't about to fall into my own darkness, as Rick had done. When a hesitant knock struck the wood, I let out a sigh of relief. "Can I come in?" Andrea.

"Sure." I pushed myself into a sitting position, facing the door. Quickly, I wiped the evidence from my face and the door swung open to reveal my crippled friend. She returned my smile and stumbled in, shutting the door behind her.

"You mind if I join you on there? It's just, I don't think I can stand for very long." She asked, smiling sheepishly. I shuffled along the bed to make room and the blonde ambled over, easing herself down onto the space beside me with the use of her stick. After moving to get herself comfortable, Andrea studied me in silence for a long moment before sighing deeply. I in return, examined her battered face with a frown. It was still Andrea beneath the scars, but that didn't make them any less terrifying to look at. "It's different between us, isn't it?" Stunned slightly, I swallowed hard, unsure how to approach the answer to her question. "Two months is longer than I thought it was."

"A lot can happen in two months, I guess." I replied with a shrug. Andrea nodded in agreement.

"Do you still trust us though? Do you trust me?" I thought long and hard before answering.

"I trust you and I trust Sasha." I told her, firmly. "But I don't trust this town and anyone in it. After what happened to Michonne and I when we were here-" I trailed off, shaking my head. Andrea nodded again, slowly, her expression of understanding. "It's not very nice to be back here, Andrea. I can still remember everything that happened to me, everything that he did." I shook my head. "For me, that's why staying here isn't an option."

"For Rick too, I can imagine." Andrea added, surprisingly understanding of my reasons. "You three have become quite a unit, I'm guessing." I tensed at her comment before chuckling bitterly.

"I wouldn't exactly call us that." I muttered. "It's not just our friendship that's changed, Andrea, I can assure you of that." She studied me with a frown. "You no doubt picked up on it before?" She nodded, wordlessly.

"Rick seems colder." She observed.

"I fucked up." I admitted with a shrug. "I fucked up and Rick hates me for it."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you-"

"I put his son's life in danger." I insisted.

"What did you do?" Andrea asked carefully, studying me with a tilt of the head.

"I let Carl go out alone. On supply runs. When Rick was unconscious and recovering." I began. "I thought I was doing was the right thing, letting Carl have his freedom, let him have the chance to prove himself. Carl wanted to go, he insisted on going. But I guess I didn't consider the situation and how that would affect Rick after what happened with Lori and Judith. Plus I lied to him about it too, which no doubt screwed things up even more than they already were." I ran a shaky hand through my hair. "Nothing's been the same between Rick and I since. There are moments when I think we can fix things, but then he goes cold again and reminds me of what I've done." Andrea shook her head.

"I won't begin to understand what you three have been through since that day." She began. "But I can guarantee you'll come back from this. You've just got to give it time and as long as you keep working on it, it'll all work out in the end." I nodded slowly, taking in her advice and wondering if I could truly allow myself to believe her. Another thought crossed my mind then and I let myself smile.

"This doesn't feel different between us." I pointed out. "Now, this feels like old times." Andrea grinned too, as much as her battered face would let her.

"Old times? It's only been two months, but it feels like a lifetime away, doesn't it?"

"Sure does." We let the silence simmer for a while, each of us contemplating our thoughts.

"You don't," Andrea began, pausing to choose her words. "You don't resent me for wanting to stay here, do you?" I eyed her carefully at her question. "I know that Woodbury isn't exactly paradise and after everything that's happened, I can get why you'd be angry. It's just, I'm so scared, Ruby. And," She waved an arm over herself. "Look at me! I'm not capable of surviving out there anymore."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Andrea." I tried, shaking my head. "I get it, I may not like it, but I get it."

"I wanted to go out and look for you all." She continued, pleading almost. "I really did, but I've been unconscious for a long time, I could barely walk when I finally was awake-"

"Andrea, you don't-"

"No, I want to." She smiled, sadly. "I know Rick thinks that Sasha and I are selfish for choosing to stay here but I at least wanted you to understand. If I could, I'd come with you to find the others. No matter how scared I have ever been, I've always followed the group. But after the attack, after what happened to me." She shook her head. "Like I said before, I'm done. Woodbury is the end of the line for me." I nodded slowly.

"And Sasha?" I felt the need to ask. The woman had no overwhelming physical injuries it seemed.

"After what happened to Tyreese she's never been the same." Andrea admitted. "Which is understandable. He was all she had left, all she had to keep her strong. But now he's gone and I guess she feels lost. Of course, the fact we thought we were the only survivors didn't help much either." Andrea paused and thought for a moment, studying me briefly before talking again in quieter tones. "She tried to kill herself when they first brought her here. I guess it all got too much for her and she opted out." Andrea smiled sadly. "I was unconscious when she did it so I couldn't be there to help her, but I think Martinez stepped up. When I did eventually wake up and he told me, I decided to tell Sasha about Amy, about what I went through. I guess you understand too, Ruby, about the loss of a sibling." I nodded, wordlessly, thinking briefly about Jessica. "She's recovering, but it'll take time. But I think Woodbury will help her get back on her feet, now she has something to focus on." I mulled over this piece of information, realising that my suspicions about Sasha were correct. It didn't make the news any easier to hear.

"I am sorry to hear about that." I told Andrea. "And I know Rick would be too, if he knew. He wouldn't have been so hard on you both." Andrea smiled bitterly but didn't respond. Basking in another dose of silence, I found myself reliving that fateful day again. "I was there, y'know." I began, frowning to myself. "I was right there when Lori and Judith got hit." I saw Andrea tense but I continued on regardless. "I was running behind Lori, her pace was slow and I didn't want her to fall behind. Rick wanted to wait for her to catch up, but she wanted him to go ahead to be with Carl. That's when it happened." I met Andrea's gaze and smiled weakly. "Lori was shot by a single bullet. It split through her torso and hit Judith too. They fell right in front of me." A pause. "I checked to see if they were still alive, but the sight of them just made it worse. I won't ever forget that. Even watching as the Governor got devoured by walkers didn't get rid of the images."

"I am sorry to hear about that." Andrea told me, softly, and I breathed a bitter chuckle.

"I have no idea if everyone made it out or not." I began, frowning, a slight pain in my chest now. "I think Glenn, Herschel, Maggie and Sophia got out. Though we can't be sure. And then there's Merle, Michonne-" I swallowed hard. "Daryl."

"They would have gotten out." Andrea tried. "If I made it out, then surely they did."

"Yeah." I muttered though both of us knew I wasn't so convinced now, my previous bitterness still lingered there. "It's been hard, Andrea. Just the three of us." Out of the corner of my eye, I noted Andrea listening with a tilted head. "When Rick was unconscious, when it was just Carl and I; everything was just so overwhelming. I tried to make the right decisions for us all, to keep us alive. But-" I chuckled bitterly. "Well, you've seen how Rick is, we don't need to go into how I messed up again." Andrea smiled sadly at me and I continued. "With Carl though, having to cope with the loss of his mother and sister was a lot for someone his age to take in. He shut himself from me, from everything. He ignored Lori and Judith and every mention of their deaths." I met Andrea's gaze. "In the space of that short period Carl and I had together, I witnessed the boy grow up too soon before his time. He's become fixated on ideas that I just can't seem to understand, to grasp from him." I swallowed hard. "And if I didn't know better, I'd say he hates Rick for what happened to Lori and Judith, to everyone."

"He can't hate Rick, he's his father." Andrea pointed out, weakly, a deep frown on her face. I nodded sadly and shrugged.

"You haven't seen what I've seen." I merely stated before sighing. "A lot of things have been broken and I'm struggling to see them mending. Not just with Rick and I, but with everyone." Andrea shifted uncomfortably, but didn't deny my observation. Hers and my friendship was another example too. "And I worry now about finding the others, what will happen then. Surely we'd just come across the same thing?" A thoughtful pause as I pondered over my next idea. "Everyone has their coping strategies in times of pain and tragedy. From my time with Rick and Carl, I've become adapted to both of theirs." I took a moment to consider the pair; Rick and his delusions, Carl and his grown up ideas. "And mine? Well, I guess I'm kinda similar to Carl in the sense I've pushed the pain away so I don't have to face it."

"And there's nothing wrong with that." Andrea stated, cutting off my pain filled monologue. I met her gaze, my eyes glazing over with tears.

"Isn't there?" I challenged, taking Andrea back. I bit my lip for a moment, considering the thoughts in my head. "I didn't- I didn't-" I stuttered, trying to form the right words. "I didn't try hard enough." Andrea frowned.

"What do you mean?" Swallowing hard, I decided to voice my previous inner thoughts to the blonde before me.

"I should have fought harder to make us leave. I should have fought harder with Rick-" I muttered, trailing off. While I knew Andrea wanted to know what I was talking about, I couldn't tell her. It definitely wasn't my business to say. "We've been holding out hope for so long that others got out and I've been trying to keep a brave face for Carl but I don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm feeling very hopeful anymore."

"Sasha and I got out." Andrea reminded me, gently. And the fact alone should have brought me hope, I knew that, but all it did was drive away the hope that already existed and bring back painful memories. Andrea's scars were like windows peeking back to that day.

"Tyreese didn't." I countered, a little bitterly. "Lori and Judith didn't. You barely did. And it's possible that the others didn't either. Herschel was shot. How do we know he even survived from it?" All the hope that had been keeping me going in that house with Rick and Carl was slowly fading and there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't even sure what I was arguing for anymore. I just felt lost and confused, a heavy feeling weighing me down. I felt guilty for some reason. Irrational maybe, but the feeling was so intense. Stupidly, I took hold of that feeling. "They died right in front of me, Andrea." She tensed at my comment and I knew I didn't need to elaborate on who the 'they' were. "And I didn't do anything-"

"There was nothing you could have done." Andrea rushed, quickly. Her denial made the tightening in my chest more painful.

"Rick was counting on me to take care of them. To get them to safety." I frowned to myself, Judith's crying echoing in the background of my mind. "But I failed him. I failed them all." Andrea shook her head but I carried on talking. "Rick hates me for how I handled his son when he was unconscious. Though maybe he should hate me for what happened to Judith and Lori too."

"But he doesn't." Andrea insisted, firmly. "He doesn't blame you for what happened to them and you shouldn't forget that. It's not your fault. You said it yourself, they were taken down by one bullet when they were running to safety. You can't take any blame from that." I didn't speak for a moment, just mulling in my thoughts. The guilt I felt for their deaths was brewing over now, though Andrea was right. Rick didn't blame me. He may hate me for other reasons, but he had never once hinted to pointing the finger in my direction. The thought calmed me, only slightly.

"I see them in my nightmares. Every night." I confessed. "All I can hear is gunfire and screaming and-" I swallowed the lump in my throat down hard. "And Judith crying. It's always the same sort of thing. I'm at the prison and everything is so loud and yet I can't find or see anyone at first. But then Sophia will come and Lori and Daryl and-" Another pause. "Then the Governor would appear and he'd kill someone right in front of me. And I can't do anything but watch everything happen around me. But then the others, they ask why I couldn't save them. Sophia, Lori- they blame me for killing them."

"It's only a dream-"

"And I relive it every night." I shrugged, carelessly. Andrea remained silent for a moment, studying me thoughtfully. I took her silence as another opening. "We've been telling ourselves that everything is going to be alright and I was happy to believe it for a moment. But what if it won't be? How will we ever come back from this?"

"By keeping the faith. By carrying on." She offered, smiling weakly. "Sasha and I, we didn't hold out much hope for anyone surviving that day after she and Martinez went back to check. I guess we should have been more optimistic but it was too painful for us both to hold out hope, not when we couldn't really do much about it. Neither of us were capable of going out to look for you guys." She gazed around the room, her eyes a little dazed. "We didn't keep the faith, but we carried on. We focused on the people here in Woodbury. We're helping to rebuild things for them. I guess in a way, we're trying to start again." Andrea shrugged. "But that's how we're going to come back from it. We're going to carry on." She titled her head, smiling and meeting my gaze. "You, Rick and Carl, you're capable of doing what Sasha and I couldn't do."

"And what's that?" I asked, gently.

"Keeping the faith." She replied, easily. I sighed and Andrea immediately picked up on my uncertainty. "I know you're tired and wary of holding out hope but you have to keep pushing forward. If not for yourself, then for Carl and Rick." I smiled, weakly. "Should I take a guess and say that was what you left the table for before?" Andrea asked after a pause. I thought for a moment.

"Pretty much, but mostly for one individual." I muttered, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. Eyeing Andrea, I saw the slight smile that touched her lips, one reminiscent to her once familiar smirks.

"One individual being Daryl, right?" She chuckled weakly and I eyed her with a scowl. The teasing was one thing I sure hadn't missed. Andrea laughed harder at my expression before shaking her head. Slowly, her smile fell down into a thoughtful frown. "Do you love him?" If I had been drinking, the contents would have surely been sprayed everywhere at Andrea's spontaneous question. My breath caught in my throat. Love? That was surely an emotion I hadn't considered with Daryl. Were my feelings for him that strong yet? Of course, the bitterness of the fact Daryl might not even be alive caught up on me then but I tried to push it aside and answer the question.

"I don't think so." I muttered, trying to laugh the question off. "Jesus, we'd never had a proper conversation on what was going on between us anyway." Andrea seemed less amused by my attempt to brush the topic away lightly.

"Just because the pair of you don't have a relationship as certain as Maggie and Glenn doesn't mean you can't care for each other as strongly." She countered, shaking her head. "I've seen how the pair of you are with each other and believe me, I wouldn't be asking this question if I wasn't serious." I raised an eyebrow at the blonde before exhaling deeply, trying to focus my thoughts.

"I don't know." I admitted finally, no hint of laughter on my face anymore. "He may not even be alive, Andrea." She smiled sadly before nodding.

"Keeping the faith, remember?" She muttered before sighing. "Keep faith for Daryl. For everyone." A pause as she thought for a moment. "Perhaps things will clear when you see him again?" If was left unspoken.

Andrea soon drifted away, telling me she wished to rest up for the night and quickly outlined the whereabouts of her room incase I needed anything. I bid the woman goodnight and my room fell into silence in her absence. My mind raced over everything we spoke about, though I had little time to consider much on my own as a knock soon rapped on my door.

"Come in." I muttered from my lounged position on the bed. The door opened and two figures came in. The bed creaked a little as Carl heaved his weight onto it, bouncing a little more than necessary.

"It's cool to have actual beds again." The boy observed. "The floor was pretty uncomfortable." I grinned in agreement before eyeing his father as the man closed the door and positioned the single chair in my room beside the bed. "Your room is smaller than ours though."

"That's because there's only one of me." I pointed out, before turning my full attention to Rick, who was studying me thoughtfully. "So, is this a group meeting or something?" Rick almost cracked a smile.

"Something like that." Rick replied before nodding once at Carl. The boy in turn, produced a backpack, I hadn't noticed he had, and plonked it down on the bed beside me. I raised an eyebrow. "Martinez gave us some supplies before, thought you'd wanna take a look at what he gave us. No food yet, he said he'd give us that and fuel tomorrow." Opening the bag, I found a vast selection of items inside. Torches, spare batteries, cooking utensils, medical supplies. I paused at one item before taking it out to examine. A pair of binoculars. Carl grinned in turn.

"Cool, aren't they?" He took the item from me and leaped off the bed to try them out by the window. Rick and I shared an amused glance before I continued my rummaging.

"Gun wise; Carl has his handgun, I have my revolver. Martinez gave me another handgun to give to you; now we all have one. We've got your sniper rifle and that shotgun you found." Rick listed off. "Martinez gave us a top up of ammo for each of those. And also these," My eyes widened when the man then produced two light-looking machine guns. My gun knowledge was limited so I had no official names for the weapons but I could still admire them. Rick chuckled at my admiration before handing me one. "One for me, one for you, he said." I raised an eyebrow, eyeing the weapon on my lap. "We got ourselves a couple of machetes and knives too."

"Jesus, it's never ending!" I cried. Rick smiled.

"Woodbury has its own armoury." He told me. "Martinez told me they looted a lot of the stuff from a military group they came across a while back. Those grenade launchers were no doubt part of the collection."

"They're just short of a Goddamn tank and this place is complete." I muttered and Rick hummed in amused agreement. A thought occurred to me. "I forgot to tell you though, I already have a handgun." Reaching under my pillow, I pulled the item out and handed it to Rick. I hesitated as the man studied it with a frown, tense at what his reaction was going to be.

"It's Lori's." He murmured, raising to meet my gaze.

"She gave it to me." I told him, gently, and Rick nodded. "Do you want it back?" Rick studied it in silence for a moment before shaking his head and handing the gun back.

"Keep it. We've got the extra one as a spare." I nodded, replacing the item back under my pillow, a heavy feeling in my chest.

"Hey Ruby, look what Martinez gave me too." Carl suddenly announced, sitting back on the bed again. I raised an eyebrow in question and the boy rummaged through the bag until he pulled out the desired item. "It's a slingshot!" I laughed a little.

"You gonna take walkers out with that?" I ignored Rick's tense stature out the corner of my eye as Carl grinned animatedly.

"That would be awesome!" I smiled back, finding it odd how childlike Carl seemed right now, despite the grim nature of the topic.

"We'll head out first thing in the morning." Rick piped in, turning the conversation serious again. "Gives us a full day on the road. Martinez said he'd fill up the tank of gas so that should keep us going more than enough." The room fell silent as the three of us were left in a thoughtful ponder.

"You reckon we'll find them tomorrow?" Carl asked, quietly. His question indirect though I found myself unable to answer. His question made me tense as I took in the hopeful tone in his voice. Keep the faith for Carl and Rick, that's what Andrea had said. I eyed his father as the man ran a tired hand through his messy hair, his eyes soft. He met his son's gaze and gave Carl a brief smile. I noticed he didn't seem to hold the same enthusiasm as his son and I swallowed hard at the knowledge.

"Maybe."

The morning came far too quickly and soon we had left the comforts of beds and warm food, finding ourselves on the snow covered streets of Woodbury as we prepared to leave. Martinez had gone to retrieve our car and fill it with the promised fuel, so we remained waiting in the cold with Milton, Sasha and Andrea. With his journal in hand, Milton thanked us for our help, though I was unsure what help we had actually provided. Instead of voicing my confusion, I merely nodded and smiled when the 'weedy' man looked my way.

"You sure we can't change your mind in staying?" Sasha asked, weakly. She wore a jacket now, that hid the bandages on her arm, that hid her darkness. Though the woman did not know I knew of her struggles, I smiled sympathetically when Sasha looked my way.

"I'm afraid not." Rick replied, his voice a lot gentler than I had expected. Maybe the proper medical examination and comfortable night's rest the man had, had changed his angered attitudes towards the situation.

"Well, if you ever find yourselves lost, we'll welcome you gladly." Sasha smiled. "You have friends here if you ever need them." The woman stepped forward and embraced each of us warmly, placing kisses on each of our cheeks. Carl grumbled when the woman pulled away, wiping his face comically that made Sasha beam and the rest of us chuckle. When Martinez pulled up with our car, the man joined us, holding his hand out towards Rick.

"Well, I guess this has certainly been an odd gathering." The man began, smiling as Rick took his hand. "But I wish you all luck out there, man."

"Thank you for your hospitability." Rick replied, his tone genuine. Martinez shook his head once.

"No need, you're welcome back into Woodbury whenever you wish." He ruffled his hand through Carl's hair, which the boy didn't approve of, before turning to me. A sheepish expression fell on the man's face. "I guess there's a lot of things I should apologise for, but I know you won't accept any of it, princess." Hesitantly, he held out hand. "I hope perhaps in the future, you will forgive me for all I did to you. And your dog." Swallowing back the bid to push Martinez's hand away, I grasped his hand in mine and bit the bullet.

"I hope so too." I muttered in response, before letting the man's hand drop. With one last person to say goodbye too, the finality of the moment hit me. This was perhaps the last time we'd truly see our friends again. Andrea seemed to read my mind and smiled bitterly.

"God, I suck at all this sentimental bullshit." The blonde muttered, eyeing the three of us. "I can't believe that this is it now. I know I can dream that you'll all come back to Woodbury, but I'm not an idiot to believe it. Just," She paused. "Be careful out there." I smiled sadly.

"You too." I embraced the blonde, firmly, taking in her familiar warmth for the last time.

"Promise me something, Ruby." Andrea breathed quietly. "Don't ever be ashamed of yourself. Please." Fighting against the tears, I could only nod into Andrea's shoulder. "And when you find the others, please tell that idiot hillbilly how you feel about him. Properly this time though. The pair of you are killing me here!" I found myself laughing at the last request and pulled away from the blonde to wipe away the tears.

"I'll try." I admitted, though Andrea smiled warmly when she sensed my hesitation to agree.

"I promise you, Ruby, when you see him again, that's a when, not an if!" She paused. "You'll know." Unsure about her optimism, I shrugged in response and Andrea turned to say goodbye to Rick and Carl.

"Guess I'm the last Atlanta woman standing now, huh?" She muttered, after embracing Rick in an awkwardly hesitant hug - due to the pair's injuries. "Standing being the incorrect term of course." She raised her walking stick vaguely in emphasis. Rick smiled weakly.

"Take care of yourself, Andrea." Rick murmured. Andrea studied the man in silence for a long moment before turning her attention to Carl. The boy flinched away slightly, expecting either another kiss on the cheek or a ruffled hair, no doubt. Andrea chuckled before holding her hand out to him instead.

"Good luck, little man." She told him, shaking his hand when the boy took hers. Carl stared up at her with wide eyes for a moment before nodding firmly.

And that was it.

I took the drivers seat again, Rick in the passenger and Carl in the back. With the car loaded up with supplies that Woodbury had given us, we headed down the street towards the exit. I eyed the four figures in the rear view mirror that were waving at our departure and felt my stomach churn as they drifted further and further away. When the doors shut after us, rendering the town from view, I found myself sighed deeply.

"Goodbye Woodbury." I muttered, finality itching against my words. At for the first time, I felt as if that was truly the last time we'd ever see the dreaded place again.

A relieved smile lifted my lips at the thought. Finally, it felt like the Governor was dead. The world I had been living in for so long had changed now that he was no longer chasing me. I was unsure how I was supposed to feel now. Happy? Relieved? Angry perhaps? I felt all those things and more at the thought. Though the Governor was finally gone, he'd taken a lot down with him, and left a lot broken in his trail. He may be gone physically but the damage he had left surely had not.

The chase was finally over, but the rebuilding and mending was still on-going.That was the thought that drew the smile off my lips.

Rick navigated us the way, though I was unsure how exactly the man was getting his bearings. All I could see was the same looking road, trees on either side, nothing unusual or different. Meeting Carl's gaze in the rear view mirror, I knew the boy was equally as confused. When we came to a crossroad, Rick told me to stop the car for a moment so he could work something out. Frowning, I eyed the road around us as he thought.

"I say we go left." Carl announced in the back. Immediately, Rick shook his head.

"No, no, no! We can't go left." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow.

"Why not left?" I asked.

"Because the prison is to the left of us and we don't want to go there." He replied. I grimaced a nod. That was most definitely right. "I'm just trying to work out which way would be the best way to go from here if we're heaving east." Carl rolled his eyes and leant back in his seat, letting his father get on with it. Smiling slightly, I shook my head and turned to stare out the window, following the boy's lead. Finally, Rick decided that straight ahead was the chosen direction, which sent a muttered response into Carl. I chuckled heartedly and obliged in driving the car straight on, heeding to Rick's navigation.

"I swear if you get us lost, I'm gonna be pissed." I stated after a few of Rick's choices took us in a full circle.

"I second that." Carl muttered from the back. Rick frowned at us both before changing his tactic.

"We'll go right then instead." He said and I smirked before obliging. "I'd like to see either of you do better."

"A blind chicken could do better!" Carl cried and I couldn't help the giggles that erupted from my lips. "You've always sucked at directions, you can't even read a Goddamn map! Jesus, you used to get lost on the way to Wall-Mart!"

"That's not true!" Rick spluttered, face flushed. I shook my head, smiling at the amused atmosphere. It certainly was a change. I just hoped it lasted. After driving on further and still yet to come across any different other than trees, Carl decided to announce the urgency of his bladder.

"Are you serious?" I muttered, shaking my head.

"Actually, I could do with a piss too." Rick admitted, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes before bringing the car to a stop.

"I'll wait in the car." I sighed as the two males got out. As they approached the wooded side of the road, I quickly rolled down my window. "Where are you going?" The pair stared at me in confusion.

"To pee." Carl stated, blankly.

"Why don't you just do it here?" I asked, gesturing to the side of the road. "Turn your backs, it's no big deal. I'm not going to look, am I!" Carl scrunched his nose at the thought.

"No thanks." He muttered before striding away. Rick sent me an amused look before following after his son.

"We'll be right back." Rick called over his shoulder and I shook my head, muttering 'men' under my breath. In my wait, I stared out the front windscreen, my arms folded carefully across my chest. I was unsure how much progress we were making, but it felt good to be out looking now. I was trying to heed to Andrea's words after all. The plan was to find a structured area, such as a town, as that seemed the most likely bet to finding the others. So far, our luck wasn't in our favour, but it perhaps may have been down to Rick's directional skills. Or lack of.

I found myself smiling in amusement at the easy atmosphere that the three of us had found ourselves in. Like old times, almost. I only prayed that it lasted, though knew my hopes were futile. My smile still lingered though as I thought of Carl teasing his father in such an easy manner, that I knew uplifted Rick too.

My smile faded though when I saw Rick and Carl return. They weren't alone though.

"What the-" I muttered, getting out the car. I eyed Rick's angered expression and the way he pointed his gun at the young man - boy perhaps? - with them. I studied the stranger before finding myself moving towards Carl, taking the boy's shoulder and pushing him behind me slightly. The stranger caught my gaze and attempted to smile.

"Hey there, lady!" He tried, though Rick jutted the gun into the back of his head.

"What the hell is this?" I hissed, eyeing Rick.

"We caught him watching us out there." Rick answered and the kid shook his head frantically.

"No, no! I wasn't watching, sir! I was just passing by." He stuttered. I studied him thoughtfully. He looked terrified, but I wondered in looks could be deceiving. "I didn't mean to cause any alarm, I'm just trying to find my way."

"What's your name?" Rick demanded, quietly. The kid stuttered a little, eyes searching mine then Carl's. This only angered Rick. "What is your name!?" He screamed, pressing the gun firmer into his forehead.

"Randall!" The kid finally spoke. "My name's Randall! I'm sorry, sir, I meant no harm on you or your family."

"What are you doing out here?" Rick asked next, not missing a beat. The kid - Randall - was wiser not to stutter over this question.

"I'm just trying to find a safe place to stay, that's all." He replied, attempting to smile. "Aren't we all?" His eyes scanned the three of us before falling on Carl. Randall attempted to grin. "Hey, that's a nice hat, little man. Where'd you find that?"

"Hey!" Rick hissed. "You keep your eyes away from him, you understand?" Randall nodded frantically. "Now, where's your group?" At this, Randall's eyes widened a little.

"Group?" He asked, his eyes shifted a little too much for me to feel comfortable with. "Sir, I don't have a group. I'm all alone." He eased a grin again. "We can't all be lucky to have ourselves a group out in this world."

"Where's your stuff then?" I asked, eyeing the man with a frown. Randall's eyes turned to me. "You're travelling light, so that must mean you have a camp somewhere." Somewhere being a town perhaps?

"Um-" He glanced between Rick and myself. "I left my stuff back in this house that I'm holding up in." His words just screamed lies. "Hey, look, if you're trying to steal my supplies then I'm afraid I ain't got a right lot for you to take."

"We ain't interested in your supplies." Rick hissed. "I'm a little more interested in why the hell you were watching us. Have you been following us?"

"No!" Randall cried. "I ain't done nothing, sir! I promise, all I was doing was passing by, I just happened to come across you and your boy. I didn't mean anything by it." Rick sneered, shaking his head.

"Oh yeah?" He muttered. "Then, why don't I believe you?" Roughly, Rick threw Randall to the floor and pointed his pistol back at his head. "Now, I'll ask you again. Are you travelling alone?" Randall shied away in fear, his head turning to Carl and I again before back to Rick. Finally, the boy shook his head frantically. Rick exhaled deeply, meeting my gaze once. "How many of there are you?" Randall stuttered again. "How many?!"

"I'm not sure anymore!" Randall finally said. "There was about a couple dozen of us, but we got ambushed a while back. I don't know how many we lost." At this, Rick frowned. My stomach churned a little at this development. Moregroups, more threats.

"Ambushed by the dead or the living?" Rick asked, his voice holding strong. I could imagine he was good interrogating criminals in his time as a cop.

"The living." Randall told us. "There wasn't many of them though, just this Asian guy and this pretty girl - she was quite familiar actually. She looked like this girl I went to school with; Maggie Greene was her name. Can't be sure it was the same girl though." During the kid's rambling, I knew the three of us had stopped short at his words.

Asian guy. Maggie Greene.

When Rick met my gaze, I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We'd found them. The faded hope flickered back in me and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Perhaps Andrea was right about keeping the faith? Randall hadn't seemed to notice the exchange between Rick and I, and carried on his ramblings regardless.

"-we're not sure where they're holding up." He continued. "They ambushed us in this small town up the road. Nothing fancy there, just a couple of rundown shops. All looted. We were passing by and they were coming out of some pharmacy. They opened fire on us, killed a lot of our men, before bailing out. We've not seen them since, don't know where they're holding up." Randall eyed Rick silently before glancing at Carl and myself. "Hey, we could work together, if you want? If you guys are looking for somewhere safe then we've got plenty to offer. We'll take real good care of your son and missus, sir." There was something about Randall's last comment, that sent the air dark again. Rick didn't bother correcting Randall on his miscalculation of his and my relationship, and instead turned to Carl.

"I want you to watch him for a minute." Rick told Carl, firmly. "Keep your gun on him, don't take your eye off him." Carl nodded in return and stepped forward. Without a moment's hesitation, the boy took out his gun and aimed it at Randall's head. The kid blanched back at this, though seemed smart enough not to say anything about it. With a jut of his head, Rick gestured me off to the side. I followed obediently.

"Glenn and Maggie." I gushed when we were a distance away. Rick nodded firmly.

"I know." He muttered.

"And that town he described," I carried on. "It sounds a hell of a lot like the town Maggie and I went to, to get pharmacy supplies. You remember?" Rick nodded again.

"I know." Rick repeated, glancing over towards the car again and the figures beside it. "I think I know where the others are." I raised an eyebrow in eagerness. "The farm." The farm?

"You think they'd go back there?" I asked, frowning in thought.

"Maggie would." Rick nodded. "With Herschel injured, she'd want to treat him somewhere and the farm had the means to do so." It made sense.

"You think you can find your way to the farm?" I asked, a light teasing nature to my tone. Rick smiled a little.

"I can try." He retorted before eyeing the car again. "We're going to have to kill him."

"What?" I hissed. "Rick, is that really necessary-"

"He knows Maggie, Ruby!" Rick turned back to me, eyes wide. "If we let him go, he may follow us back to the farm and find the others there."

"He said they didn't know where Glenn and the others were and we can't be sure he'd follow us." I tried, unsure I was happy about killing the unusual stranger. Rick's eyes softened slightly.

"After all that's happened to us," He shook his head. "I don't want to take that chance." I studied the man before me, taking in his stance and expression. I paused, wondering how readily the old Rick would take the life of someone without true reason. A lot of things had changed, I reminded myself. Not to mention, his words were true. After everything we had lost, a lot of trust in strangers had been lost and I knew it would be a great gamble if we let Randall go.

"Are we not going to question him more, see what else he knows?" I asked. Rick shook his head before sighing.

"We're trying to find the others and he's provided us with the information we need." He began. "The longer we stay here, the bigger the chance the rest of his group will find us. Plus we're losing daylight and if they don't turn out to be at the farm, we're gonna need to find a place to hold up for the night. We need to go now." We need to kill him now. I winced a little at the sudden turn of events. Literally minutes ago, the thought of killing the kid hadn't crossed my mind. I felt sick. "Please, Ruby, I need you with me on this." Rick's tone surprised me and I turned to eye the man calmly. His gaze pleaded with me and screamed nothing but vulnerability. "I don't like this anymore than you do, but you know we need to do this. I can't lose anyone else because of easy mistakes."

Easy mistakes? Was that what that was back at the prison? Was Tyreese dying an easy mistake? Was Lori's and Judith's deaths? Were their deaths faults of my own? Judging Rick's expression, I recalled what Andrea had said once more - Rick didn't blame me. And right now, he was staring back at me with no blame in his gaze. She was right it seemed, but the guilt still lingered. Without much else to say, I felt resigned to arguing and nodded slowly. Rick seemed relieved by this action.

"What's your plan?" I asked, weakly, not able to look at the man before me.

"You and Carl wait in the car, I'll take Randall back out into the forest and do it." Do it - such a simple phrasing for the dark deed Rick was about to do.

When we approached the car again, Randall continued his ramblings to Carl. The boy didn't seemed phased by the stranger's words though and hadn't appeared to have moved an inch since we left him. The pair raised their gazes at our approach and I swallowed back the lump in my throat as Rick told Carl to lower his gun.

"I want you to take me to your group." Rick began, staring down at Randall. "I want to talk about a negotiation." Randall frowned in confusion, reluctance to agree all over his face.

"Negotiation?" He asked, hesitantly. Rick nodded.

"Those people that attacked you; we know them." My eyes widened at Rick's admittance. Why was he telling Randall this? "They've wronged us in the past, killed many of our own. I believe we have common ground in our need for revenge against these people. We could help each other." At Rick's words, Randall grinned wide. Rick returned it, part of the story he had built, and offered his hand to the boy. "You understand our harsh treatment towards you? We believed you were part of their group too."

"Oh, sir, it's no bother!" Randall quickly gushed. "I understand that completely and I reckon my group will be highly interested in working together against these people."

"Great." Rick nodded, grinning at the boy. "Show me the way." Randall staggered forwards, toward the tree line and Rick followed afterwards. Glancing over his shoulder, Randall frowned in Carl's and my direction.

"What about your family?" Randall asked, a slight suspicious undertone to his voice.

"They're going to stay with the car." Rick replied, smoothly. "I'll come get them when I've spoken with your group. I just want to be safe first." Randall paused for a moment, studying us silently, before nodding.

"Alright, sir. This way!" And with that, Randall and Rick disappeared into the tree line, leaving Carl and myself stood watching them go. Swallowing hard, I glanced briefly at Carl before heading to the driver's side.

"C'mon. Get in." I muttered, climbing into the car. Carl followed afterwards and for a long time we sat in complete silence. I tried to push aside the knowledge of what was going to happen, but it was difficult.

"It was the right thing to do." Carl spoke up suddenly, startling me out of my trance. I glanced back at him.

"What?"

"Killing him. It was the right thing to do."

"I did what I had to do."

I felt sick to the core at Carl's cold words. How could he think that killing someone was right? My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as I tried to control my breathing. This was all so wrong. When the passenger door opened again and Rick climbed inside the car, I found myself unable to look at him. Though I knew for certain, he and I would have to sit down and talk about Carl. I needed to tell him about the day Carl had killed that boy. Thinking on it briefly, there seemed to be a lot that Rick and I needed to sit down and talk about.

"Drive." Rick muttered, his voice deathly quiet. For now though, it would all have to wait. The farm was our next destination.

I started the car up and obliged to Rick's commands. The atmosphere in the car so different to how it had been the last time we were in it. Despite the fact we were closing in on finding the others, the death that loomed over the car overrode this happiness and we were all lapsed into silence. No more teasing or jokes were made as we carried on our journey towards the farm, the place we had abandoned all the time ago. It seemed fate had brought us back into a full circle.

"So, where we going now?" Carl asked from the back. Neither Rick nor I answered for a moment.

"Back to Herschel's farm." Rick replied thankfully, as I could not find my voice to answer the boy. There was a thoughtful pause.

"You think the others are there?" Carl prodded. I heard Rick exhale deeply before answering.

"Maybe." He replied, tightly. Glancing briefly in the mirror, I noted Carl nodding slowly.

"I can't wait to see everyone again." The boy said, simply. Swallowing hard, I felt myself tense. The prospect of seeing some of the others again was daunting but then I thought of Sophia's face. While some of my hope had been diminished, now that we knew Maggie and Glenn had definitely made it out, I focused on the fact that it was likely I'd see her again. And that thought alone made me stop and smile at Carl's statement.

"Me neither." Rick sighed and we fell back into silence once more.

---

(Author's Note): So there has been a few adaptions in this chapter than the first time it was uploaded. And because of that, there will be a few interactions altered in later chapters too. It's mostly Ruby's and Andrea's conversation together. I've focused a lot in this chapter about Ruby losing faith in finding the others and blaming herself for what happened to Lori and Judith and blaming herself for not starting the search earlier. This is a change from the first time around when Ruby spoke about cutting herself off from her feelings and not thinking about the others during the separation - it was something I didn't like when I thought about it. Nothing action wise has been changed, but like I said, interactions have. This WILL have an impact on later chapters but nothing will change too dramatically. If it does, I'll put it here.

On another note - did everyone enjoy the finale of season 4?

Thanks again for everyone's patience. I'll have next upload up ASAP.