The floor creaked with every anxious step. Within an hour Gomez had gone through three cigars. He had just started his fourth when the library door slowly opened. He rushed over to a disheveled Uncle Fester. "Well? Did the potion work?"

"He's not pink anymore…"

"Fester, I knew you could do it!" he said with a congratulatory slap on his back.

"He's pink with stripes."

"What?!" Uncle Fester flinched at Gomez's sudden reaction. Gomez strode over to his desk and threw himself in the leathered swivel chair. "How did this happen, Fester?" He palmed his face. "What are we going to tell Morticia?"

"Tell Morticia?!" Uncle Fester's high-pitched voice rang through the library. "Are you nuts?! Why she'd - she'd kill us if she saw what we did to Kitty."

"Uncle Fester, we have to tell her. She'd find out eventually if we didn't."

"Gomez, I've still got a lot of living to do. I've got a whole other closet full of dynamite caps waiting to be blasted. Don't tell her yet. We can fix it."

Silence permeated the room as Gomez pondered Fester's plea. Then, with a shake of his head Gomez answered, "I don't like keeping things from Morticia."

"So, you'll have her worry herself sick over the party, Ophelia, AND Kitty? Some husband!"

Gomez opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out. Uncle Fester's words absorbed in his mind, causing him to envision a distressed Morticia. He knew his Querida well enough to know that she would indeed worry more than need be. The thought pained him. He didn't like to see her anything but ebullient and comfortable. As much as he despised the notion of hiding something from her, he hated to cause her grief… especially grief that could have been avoided.

He took a deep breath. "Shut the door. Do you have the empty shampoo bottles?"

Uncle Fester smiled and pulled them out of his sleeves. "Right here, Gomez."

He observed one of the empty plastic bottles. "Fester, this isn't shampoo. It's hair dye!"

He grabbed the bottle from Gomez's hand. "But I'm sure it's shampoo. I got it from Cousin Itt's room just like you told me too."

Gomez frowned. "Why would Cousin Itt have pink hair dye?"

"Must've been from his rebellious phase?"

Gomez rubbed his chin, "No wonder he hid in the chimney for a whole year… Fester, this sounds like a job for Dr. Mbogo, the family witch doctor."

"Oh boy, good thinking!"

"No, that won't work," Gomez was reaching for the phone but stopped himself. "No one has heard from Dr. Mbogo since that monsoon flooded his village. Who are we to end the fun?" He leaned back to think of a different plan.

Intent on finding a solution, he hardly noticed the tapping sounds coming from a golden box on his desk. At last, a disembodied hand sprang from the box to finally get the attention it had been wanting. "What is it, Thing?" Gomez asked.

Thing pointed to a phone book. Puzzled, Gomez handed it to him. He and Uncle Fester watched as the hand masterfully laid the book down and flipped through the pages. Once Thing found the right one, his fingers tip-toed up the listings and pointed at the pet groomer's section.

"Capitol idea!" Gomez grabbed the candlestick telephone and began dialing. "Hello, Gomez Addams here. I wish to schedule an appointment, today if possible, for my wife's Kitty… you don't provide services for cats?" He lowered the mouthpiece to his chest. "They don't do cats," he mimicked to Uncle Fester.

"What's that got to do with Kitty?"

Gomez shrugged and raised the mouthpiece back to his lips. "I believe I've misled you, ma'am. You see, Kitty is my wife's pet lion… yes, that's what I said. Now, I'd like his mane to be – hello? Hello?"

He placed the phone down. "Disconnected again," he sighed. "Telephone companies just aren't what they used to be. Well thanks for nothing, Thing. It was worth a try." Thing drooped back into his box, quietly shutting the lid.

"Commissioner Cornwallis," growled a voice from the doorway. Lurch pushed the round man into the dark library and shut the door. His eyes immediately took to Gomez's vast train tracks and then to the wide-eyed man with a lop-sided grin and cigar. He nervously began spilling out his rehearsed speech.

"Mr. Addams, on behalf of the city zoo I would like to thank you for all your generous donations you have given in the past. They have been put to good use and are appreciated, especially in times like these when donations are scarce." He paused to take a breath. Sweat was beading along his receding hairline.

"Think nothing of it Commissioner," Gomez gave him a hearty handshake. "We Addamses are fond of creatures – especially creatures of the night."

The man gulped at the look on Mr. Addams's face. Uncle Fester was suspiciously eyeing him, and Lurch stood uncomfortably close. The room suddenly had an eerie aura about it. Now he knew why the men at the office laughed when they assigned him with this strange looking family. He cleared his throat. "We are glad you enjoy them Mr. Addams, but we have noticed your donations have become uh, well – "

"Do you have lions at your zoo?" Uncle Fester butted in.

"Pardon me, sir?"

"Lions. You know, with a mane and teeth?"

"Um yes, we do. One male and one female, I believe."

"Oh goody! We'll take one – just to borrow of course."

The man's jaw dropped. "But you can't."

Uncle Fester ignored him and turned to Gomez. "Gomez, why don't we use a zoo lion for Kitty's party and keep Kitty downstairs? When the party's over we'll return the cat and Morticia will never know."

Gomez snapped his fingers. "Fester that's brilliant!" He pulled open the top drawer of his desk to reveal bundles of money. One by one, Gomez eagerly threw them on the mahogany surface, unaware of the man's astonished face. "Here's $10,000 Commissioner. What do you say?"

"Mr. Addams, I can't, we – you," he stammered.

"How about twenty?"

The man's beady eyes widened. "$20,000? In cash?"

"Alright, I'll make it $50,000 but I want a nice cage to go with it. We'll have the lion back in a few hours."

"But Mr. Addams, the zoo doesn't – "

"Commissioner Cornwallis, my beautiful wife is counting on this party to run smoothly and you are the man to make that happen." Gomez grabbed the money and started piling it on him.

The commissioner began to interject, but Gomez put an extra wad of cash in his pocket, silencing him. "Here's a tip, good fellow. Lurch, please show our guest out."

"Mr. Addams – "

"Have your men bring the lion around six tomorrow, but go through the cemetery." Gomez slammed the door shut, leaving the perplexed man in the hallway with Lurch and his arms full of cash.

Later that night, when his pin-striped suit had been exchanged for a maroon robe and his cigar had long since been gone, Gomez strolled through the empty hall as he reflected on the day's results. With the new orders he gave Lurch, all was well. Kitty was locked away in the cave, guarded by the dependable butler and Uncle Fester was to be on the lookout tomorrow for the zoo people. Not a word of the plan was uttered to anyone. Everything seemed to be working out. No worries, he thought to himself. But his musings quickly evaporated with the clicking of the bedroom door.

At once, any coherent thoughts vanished at the sight of a dark lady sitting at an antique vanity. He silently admired her from a distance, his eyes growing darker with every second, until her tantalizing perfume grabbed ahold of him and beckoned him swiftly to her side. "Oh Tish," he huskily growled as he knelt beside her, "you're intoxicating."

He gently pried the hair comb from her hands and began running his fingers through her dark tresses. His eyes were glued to her, savoring his elixir. "It feels as if it's been an eternity since we've been alone." He kissed her hair then swept it aside, exposing her lithe neck. He was about to shower it with affection, but she turned towards him instead.

"Oh Gomez, I am sorry about Kitty."

"Kitty…" His mind at first drew a blank, still too enamored by his wife, before he came back to reality. "Kitty?" he tensed. How did she find out?

"It was supposed to be a wonderful time together, the three of us." She took his hand and held it between hers, which were resting on her lap. "Thank you for taking care of everything. Thing told me you and Uncle Fester gave Kitty a bath. How did it go?"

"Oh, you know, the way bathing a lion should go…" Holding his breath, he nervously stood and walked over to the moonlit window.

"Marvelous!" she smiled. "Hmm, Ophelia must've been in worse shape than I thought."

"Oh?" He turned to face her.

"Yes, do you know she told me she saw Kitty Cat and that he was colored pink - with stripes?"

Gomez's eyes bulged. "She did?"

"Dear Ophelia," Morticia shook her head as she dabbed a drop of lotion on her hands. "I wouldn't even want to imagine Kitty in that ghastly shade."

Gomez gulped. His conscience was pulling on him with vengeance. He had to change the subject. And fast. Before he could think of anything to say, Morticia stood up, revealing to him the whole of her black negligee. "Cara mia!" he quietly gasped.

Morticia playfully cocked her head to one side and held out her arms. "Do you remember this nightgown, Gomez? I wore it on our third honeymoon to Transylvania."

His eyes raked over her body with newfound enthusiasm. "How could I forget?" With one defiant stride he had her in his arms. "Tish, let's go to the attic," he murmured.

"Mon cher," she purred as she wrapped her arms around his neck.