"Really, Dad, I don't understand how you dress yourself sometimes. That suit was the completely wrong cut for you," Kurt criticized, chattering on while Burt nodded exasperatedly at his side before interrupting.

"Hey, isn't that your old teacher?" Burt asked, pointing just ahead of them to the couple with a stroller that was mingling at an aisle vendor.

"Oh, um, yeah. That's Mr. Smythe," Kurt responded, carefully manufacturing a calm and distant tone of voice.

"We should go say hi. He was one of your favorites, right?"

"I, uh—," Kurt squeaked in response to his dad advancing forward. Before Kurt could really protest, though, Sebastian looked up and their eyes locked. Seeing this, Burt headed over more confidently now, Kurt trailing next to him nervously.

"Hey, there, Mr. Smythe," Burt greeted genially.

"Mr. Hummel," Sebastian addressed him, a slight quiver to his voice that only Kurt could recognize. "Kurt. How are you two doing today?"

"Good, good," Burt replied. "Just doing a bit of shopping." Burt grimaced.

"He's got a big event to go to in D.C. next weekend," Kurt explained. "I've convinced him he's in need of a new suit."

Sebastian replied with a friendly smile, only the slightest bit strained. "We're just doing some shopping ourselves," he explained, gesturing a little towards his daughter and wife. "Oh! Um, this is my wife, by the way." His fingers grazed lightly over her wrist as he spoke. "This is Laura. Laura, this is one of my students from last year, Kurt, and his dad."

"Nice to meet you," Laura greeted with a kind smile, to which Burt and Kurt responded with similar greetings. Kurt could feel a physical weight from the guilt settling on his chest as he looked into her eyes. This is part of what made it all so hard. He had heard enough brief descriptions about Sebastian's wife to know she was incredibly trusting and generous and loving, and seeing her in person, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile, made him want to bury himself in the ground in remorse.

"I'm going to run and change Keira," Laura said, pressing a quick kiss to Sebastian's cheek. "I'll be back." She retreated with another smile in their direction.

"That's certainly something I don't miss," Burt said with a laugh. "God, next time I have to do that it'll be for grandkids." He clapped Kurt on the back roughly. Kurt smiled awkwardly, watching Sebastian's throat as he swallowed tightly, a hand moving to flatten his hair like Kurt knew he only did when extremely nervous.

"Well, we'd probably better get going. It was nice seeing you, Mr. Smythe," Kurt said formally.

"You, too, Kurt. Mr. Hummel." Sebastian nodded to them as Kurt wrapped his arm around his father's pulling him away and to the next store.

Sebastian dragged in a few ragged breaths, fighting the urge to break from the effort of the short conversation. It had been a full month since he'd seen Kurt, and even then it was from a distance as Kurt walked across the stage at graduation. The first month after Keira was born had been hell for him. Not only was he averaging one to two hours of sleep per night, he was emotionally exhausted with simultaneously trying to learn how to take care of a baby and taking care of his wife where he could. And if that wasn't enough, school became hell on earth when he had to face Kurt every single day like he was just another random student. He had to pass back his papers without allowing his eyes to linger, fought to resist the urge in calling on him randomly in class just to hear his voice.

It was bearable when they were…together. Sure, he faced many of the same dilemmas he did now, trying to act like everything was completely normal, nothing amiss, but before, at least he knew that they would get a few stolen moments together, whether it was behind the locked door of the classroom or at Kurt's house when his dad was away or even a couple hours away at some movie theater where they could pretend to be a normal couple (well, a gay couple, which many Ohioans didn't consider normal, but still, the point remains).

To say their relationship in the classroom became strained would be an understatement. They got through it, though. Day by day there were fewer lingering glances as they drew into themselves, like they grew a shield to protect themselves from each other's presence. When the final day of classes came it was a blessing and curse in one. Sebastian was relieved to finally stop being tortured with having Kurt in the same room, every day for an hour, watching him become stony and non-responsive, more irritable than before. The absence of that time, however, grew to be shockingly painful. Kurt plagued his mind more than ever as he spent day after day of the first month of summer vacation taking care of his daughter when his wife went back to work. Every night he'd go to bed, wishing he could wrap his arms around Kurt and fall asleep together just one more time, but he knew he didn't mean it. He didn't really want just one more time. He wanted an infinite number of nights with that boy in his arms and his heart crushed a tiny bit more every day when he knew that was never going to happen.

"You ready to get going?"

Sebastian jumped at his wife's voice in his hear, snapping from his reverie, and realizing he was standing alone and motionless, fixed at the point where she'd left him.

"Sure," he agreed, taking over to push the stroller for her.

Seeing Kurt, it was like a recovering drug addict who was shot up with heroin when he least expected it, and even though he knew he had to stay away, get clean again, he couldn't help the ever-growing pull to do it again, to see Kurt for what he convinced himself to be just one last time.

He caved. He gave in and later that night, when Laura was bathing Keira, he sent off a text: So I remember you saying your dad is in DC next weekend. Would you maybe want to hang out for a little bit and just talk?

Sebastian stared at his phone for a full fifteen minutes, willing it to buzz. Finally, when he was sure his concentration had reached a level where he'd be able to levitate the damn thing, it vibrated. He hesitated, not quite wanting to know what answer Kurt had given. Sebastian berated himself for possibly screwing things up even more. Steeling in a breath, he swiped his finger across the screen.

Yeah, okay. Saturday at like 3 alright?

Well.

He said yes.

Oh, god. Ohgod ohgod ohgod, Sebastian chanted to himself. What the hell was he doing? He had no idea how he was going to get through an entire afternoon with Kurt, alone, and just—what? Be friends? Could they do that? Maybe they could try, try to just care for each other platonically, in a way that didn't make Sebastian feel like the lowest scum of the earth or make Kurt feel like the wretched, evil mistress. Introspectively, Sebastian knew he was lying to himself. Spending any time at all with Kurt, even if they kept their hands strictly to themselves should really be considered cheating because there was so much involved, so much history and so much emotion that the word "platonic" was almost laughable. So, yes, Sebastian knew he was twisting the truth to justify his actions to himself, but he ignored it. He stamped the guilt down and texted back.

Okay.