A./N.: As promised I didn't make you wait for long for the next update. I asked my Beta, before starting on this chapter, if she preferred a detailed account of the events or if I should leave what happened up to the imagination of my readers. She voted for the detailed version and since this story is M I complied to her wishes. Please skip the second flashback, if you don't want to read and know.

I will appreaciate all reviews to this chapter, both positive and negative, and have no problems with altering this chapter if you so wish.

Thank you for reading, Faithful.

Making a Good Woman Cry

"Does this mean we are worthy of each other?"

Charles could easily see the insecurity in her eyes and he instinctively knew that whatever words he spoke she would still have some doubts left about his sincere feelings for her, her desirability to him, and her own worth despite this horrible event. He knew that it was time for the first touch of hopefully healing quality. Moving slowly, he came to stand in front of her once more and put one hand on her hip, gently tugging her closer to him, giving her the chance to resist. He wanted to make it abundantly clear how he felt without pressuring her. For him she was still the woman he loved and wanted to grow old with. He had just never thought he would find the courage to approach her and woo her properly. Now all that had been pushed faster ahead than he had ever intended. He still hadn't wooed her properly, but now they were already engaged to be married. Maybe if they sealed the deal, so to speak, her self-esteem would return.

"I love you, always have," he whispered as he leaned towards her, slowly closing the distance between their faces. In the split second before he closed his eyes, he saw Elsie's eyes hesitantly flutter shut. A small tremor went through her body, transported to him by the connection of his hand on her hip, but she didn't pull away from him, which gave him hope and an almost overwhelming feeling of protectiveness and responsibility. Gently, ever so gently as to not frighten her away, he lowered his lips onto hers. He had honestly intended the kiss to be chaste and really more like a peck on the lips, but he hadn't anticipated how the feeling of her lips would affect him. Almost immediately upon resting his lips on hers, Charles lost all ability to think. Tentatively his lips moved over hers, the hand on her hip drawing her just a little closer.

Elsie's arms went to his chest, but instead of pushing him away her hands grasped his lapels and clung to him, trying to remain on her feet. Her head was spinning and a strange tingling sensation was spreading throughout her body, making her light-headed. She was by no means an experienced kisser – in fact the only other man, who had ever kissed her, had been Joe Burns many years ago … until … he …

oOoOoOo

Elsie walked home from Downton Village after running some errands for Mrs Patmore. Again the cook had made last minute changes to the menu, and it was left to her to pick up the necessary ingredients. Unfortunately it was later then she had anticipated. In fact it was getting dark already and Elsie hastened home, not liking the thought of being out so late and the sight of the towering rainclouds gathering to the east.

Suddenly she heard a rustling noise to her left, coming directly out of the undergrowth on the side of the path. She froze, as though not moving might render her invisible. The man moved in front of her, cutting off her escape route. Elsie felt fear grip her heart, but still managed to stand tall and opened her mouth to order him out of her way. Before she had a chance to, he spoke first.

"Not so flirtatious now, are we?" he asked conversationally, sneering maliciously at her. Elsie didn't know that man and had no idea what he meant by that.

He drew back his arm and slapped her hard across the face, sending her sprawling to the ground. The blow made Elsie's eyes water and a cold shudder ran through her. The man saw that, and his smile broadened.

"I'll show Charlie. That should wipe that smug grin off his face," he said.

Elsie jerked back involuntarily, trying to scramble to her feet, but was brought up short by the man's hand around her neck while his other hand yanked open her coat. Her vision went dark for a moment, then cleared and found his face mere inches from her own, his breath hot on her skin.

He seized her chin in his hand and rubbed his face over hers, biting at her lips and rasping the stubble of his beard hard across her cheeks. Then he drew back, leaving her face wet with his saliva, pushed her flat to the ground, and climbed on top of her.

oOoOoOo

With a strangled gasp, Elsie sacked against Charles' frame. Tears were coming hot and fast, wetting her cheeks and Charles' in equal measure. Instantly she felt Charles slacken his embrace and his lips leaving hers. She whimpered – confused by her body's strange reaction to the man before her and the utter horror of what had been done to her by another. Instead of pushing away from Charles and seeking protection in separation and distance, Elsie felt the overpowering need to be close to him, protected by him as he had promised. Her whole body trembled from a combination of her feelings and her inability to put them into words. She wanted so desperately to be held, to not have to appear strong and as if she was dealing admirably with it all. A sob wrecked through her body, making her shudder against Charles as the memories rushed over her.

oOoOoOo

Elsie could clearly feel the violence in him, pulsing through him like blood and bleeding out to her. She knew that he was stronger than her and that she couldn't escape or prevent him from going through with what he intended – knew he would hurt her if given the slightest excuse. The only thing to do was to be still and endure it – it would at least spare her more pain.

She couldn't. She heaved under him and rolled to the side, trying to dislodge him. "Get off me!" she shouted even though she knew that no one was around. "Oh God, someone help me!" In a desperate attempt to fight back, fight him off, she brought her knee up as he pushed her skirts out of the way. It hit him – but unfortunately not where it was supposed to – in the thigh and he drew back his fist by reflex and punched her squarely in the face, bruising her cheekbone.

Pain exploded all over Elsie's face and she cried out in agony. The pain filled her head and blinded her momentarily, shocking her into immobility. For a second the fog around her mind lifted and she became aware of what she had unleashed. 'He is going to kill you now,' she thought calmly. Then the second blow landed. It struck her jaw and jolted her head back against the hard, unyielding ground. For the second time her vision went black and her body limb under him.

Suddenly he was kneeling astride her, punching and slapping, the blows falling heavy and remorselessly. Elsie sobbed, twisting, curling, bringing up her shoulder and trying to shield her face against the ground, and then his weight was gone.

He was standing over her, looming and menacing. He was kicking and cursing, panting and half-sobbing as his boot thudded into Elsie's sides and back and thighs. Elsie panted in short gasps, crying out in pain, begging him to let her be. Her body jerked and quivered with the relentless blows while she prayed for a hole to appear in the earth beneath her that would swallow her. Then it stopped and she could hear the man speak through heavy panting. "Goddamn … to Hell with him … I'll show him … show you … bitch … you'll learn not to … not to make fun of me … of Charles Grigg …"

Then he threw himself on her again. Once more he bunched up her skirts. Her legs free, she tried to kick him again, but she didn't have the energy to do so after the beating. He grabbed the top of her dress and tore it open, scattering buttons everywhere. One hand grabbed a fist full of her hair, which had come undone during their struggle, while the other tried to roughly fondle her breast through her corset. Elsie had her hands against his chest, trying to push him off her, but he was too heavy to budge. She felt him using his knees to force her legs apart. Her body was twisting and squirming under him as she fought to escape.

"Don't!" she screamed. "Stop it! Please stop it!"

He buried his face in her neck and she felt him snaking a hand between them. His hand went to her most intimate part, rubbing her through the slit in her underwear.

"Noooo … please … Stop!" she screamed as he mercilessly inserted a finger up inside her.

His mouth dropped to her breast and he viciously chewed on her nipple, sending waves of pain through her. He was undoing his trousers, pulling out his member. She felt the fear and frustration raging through her. She knew what would happen, and there was nothing she could do to stop him. She felt him pressing against her entrance. She dug her heels into the ground, trying to get enough leverage to throw him off. She twisted and turned, pushed against his chest, tried to move her hips away from him. Nothing worked.

"Oh, no! Oh, please NO!" she begged as she felt him forcing her open, felt him enter her. "No! Let GO! Get … get out of me!"

He was forcing his way into her, driving deeper with each thrust of his hips. She hadn't been ready, hadn't been with a man ever before, and the penetration was painful. Elsie felt as if her insides were being torn open as he pounded into her, again and again and again. Tears burned her cheeks and she bit down on her lips to keep her fruitless pleas for mercy in. All she hoped for now was that it would be over soon.

oOoOoOo

Charles had immediately felt the change in Elsie. The moment he registered her apprehension he had withdrawn from her, cursing himself inwardly for pushing her too far. His heart broke upon hearing her sob and he wanted nothing more than to drown himself for frightening her.

"Elsie …oh God, Elsie … I-I am so … I apologize," he stammered out, desperately trying to make himself understood around the suffocating lump in his throat. His arms dropped away from her and he hung his head.

"No …" Elsie felt cold, alone and so utterly vulnerable without his arms around her. While he was near her, she was safe – if he left her, if she was alone again, it could happen again.

Charles misunderstood her uttered word. He withdrew even further into himself, even stepping back from her, giving her space to breathe. He couldn't fathom that Elsie might need his strength and support to keep her upright, keep her together.

"Don't … no …" Elsie's thought were a maelstrom of confusing wishes and feelings. She couldn't make herself heard, she wasn't even sure what it was she wanted exactly. Again Charles misunderstood. His face showed true remorse and even self-hatred, if she deciphered his expression correctly, and she couldn't bear to see him like that. He was her rock and she needed him, but he retreated even more from her.

"I'm terribly sorry for my lack of judgement … I will get Her Ladyship …" Charles stammered awkwardly.

"No! Please!" Elsie wailed out.

A loud crash was heard as the double door to the drawing room burst open and Lord and Lady Grantham hastened through into the room.

"Carson, what is going on?" Lord Grantham asked wildly, his eyes going to and fro between Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes.

Lady Grantham didn't wait for an answer instead she strode over to Mrs Hughes' side. Her arms immediately went around her shaking frame and she put her body between the distraught housekeeper and the shocked butler as a barrier. The tears were still coming uncontrollably, causing Elsie's vision to blur. She wanted Charles' arms back around her, having already cried on Lady Grantham's shoulder weeks ago and having instead wished for his support all this time – Mrs Patmore's question turning over and over in her mind, "Would it be different if he had been your lover before?". An inarticulate sound escaped her lips and she pushed against Lady Grantham's arms, freeing herself from the protective embrace and stepping in front of Charles. She despised herself for the quiver in her voice and how small it sounded, but she rasped out her request, "Please, Charles, hold me …" It was nothing more than a hoarse whisper, but Charles heard her loud and clear. He stepped towards her, around Lady Grantham, completely forgetting her presence. "I need you … I'm afraid …"

Without any further hesitation on his part Charles wrapped both his arms around her and drew her close to his chest. Elsie's face buried in his chest, inhaling his scent, blocking out the disturbing memories and again feeling this sense of security.

She felt she had come home. At last.