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Thank you to my first and ONLY reviewer :TheBigBadWolfxTheOncomingStorm Darling , thank you.
She had admitted to herself a few things that night in the lion's den.
1) Her powers are a little wild.
2) There are just some feelings you can't control.
3) She can't control her feelings about Robin.
4) She's going to have to learn.
Raven was okay with that, her lions taught her to have peace with her feelings. If they had peace with being trapped in a cage for the rest of their lives, she could have peace with being trapped in her feelings. It was early morning when awoke, around 6. The staff wasn't surprised to see Raven there, they liked when she came around, the lions were a whole lot nicer.
"Good morning Raven!" Cornelia called out to her. Cornelia was natural red head, red like cherries, and Raven liked that, she also liked the big contrast in her eyes. One was so brown, almost black in color, the other was light brown, almost hazel. Cornelia was so interesting. Cornelia was also a human friend of Raven.
Cornelia knew Raven was an empath, so she always had her emotions under control. Cornelia also knew about Raven's feelings about Robin, and Robin and Starfire's relationship.
Cornelia liked Raven the same, her violet hair, her lilac eyes, very beautiful.
Raven knew about Cornelia's crush on her coworker Ethan. Cornelia wasn't dumb about it, she knew Ethan wasn't perfect. But, she still got the same rapid heartbeat whenever he came around, the same sweaty palms when he smiled at her, the same weak knees when laughed the lovely laugh of his.
Just how Raven wanted to be around Robin, but she couldn't not with her powers. However, like Robin, Ethan had a girlfriend, Trinity. Like Raven with Starfire, Cornelia didn't hate Trinity, she just wished that Ethan was hers.
"Hey Nellie." Raven yawned. Raven was the only person Cornelia let call her 'Nellie'. She arose to meet the cherry girl and gave her a wry smile.
"Hard week?" Cornelia asked taking in Raven's tired appearance.
"That's one way to put it."
"I understand, this week I accidentally dropped all my bird feed in the alligator habitat, now I'm on lion duty." She turned to Carolina. "Which isn't so bad is it? Is it Cara?"
"Ah. I guess I have to be getting back. Titans get worried when you're gone for more than a night." Raven muttered the last bit, and practically spat the word 'Titans'. Cornelia knew what she meant.
"You can stay, you know hang with lions for today, and hang at my place tonight." Raven heard tenderness in her voice, something she needed. She also heard Eminem blasting out of Cornelia's ear buds, that were draped around her neck.
"Okay, cool." Raven agreed.
Cornelia nodded and began giving the lions their food. "Yeah."
"Thanks." Raven mumbled.
"Anytime." Cornelia murmured back.
"Sorry if the place is a little dirty, haven't cleaned since, a while ago." Cornelia said opening the door for Raven and shutting it behind her.
Of course, to Cornelia, a little dirty is one dish in the sink. She wasn't a neat freak, she just liked the place clean.
"It's cool." Raven sat down on her couch. Cornelia's place was big for an apartment, 2 bedrooms, a nice size kitchen, 2 bathrooms. She was always a saver, not a spender, this where it got her.
"Just make yourself comfortable. You want something to drink? I have tea." Cornelia was the only person who knew how to make Raven's tea exactly how she liked it.
"Sure, thanks." Raven uneasily sat on her couch. She got up and turned on the kettle.
"Stop saying 'thanks'." Cornelia urged. "And 'cool'. Okay? I'm not being nice, I'm doing this because I want to." She came back with a cup of tea, and a Sierra Mist. Cornelia has a huge sweet tooth, soda and candy, you could count on her for that.
That was something else about her: she was blunt. About most everything, if she didn't like it, she said it, if she wanted something , she said it (this, of course, does not include Ethan). She set down the cup in front of Raven and popped open her soda.
"What's bugging you?" Raven raised a questioning eyebrow. "Usually you launch into my music and find something to listen to. You're all stiff and rocky. Is it Robin?" Blunt as can be.
"Yeah." Raven couldn't help but be truthful, Cornelia bring that out in you.
"But, you've had problems with him before, what's the difference now?"
Raven sighed. "Like, I got shot." Cornelia's eyes bugged. "Not bad, only caught my side. But, it brought back memories of one time when I got hurt, and I asked him about saving me or Starfire." Raven scoffed. "He would've given an argument about trying to save us both, but he would've saved Starfire, I just know it. So I told him I'd rather save myself."
"You lied. . ." Cornelia spoke.
"Yeah, I lied. Anyways, that kinda ripped out my heart and smashed it into tiny pieces. I left. But, I came back, I always come back. No matter how hard it is to see him with her, holding her, loving her. It hurts, bad." Raven admitted almost silently.
"I know. I run too, sometimes I don't wanna come back, but I always do. I just have to get away." Cornelia agreed.
"The bird feed in alligator habitat. . . that wasn't an accident, was it?" Raven asked.
"He was about to kiss her, he was holding her so warmly, something he would never do with me." Cornelia confessed. "I dropped it all over them, well her, and ran." She snickered, "I'm pretty sure they saw the flash of red hair taking off." Raven started chuckling. Cornelia ran a hand through her crimson locks. She laughed a little louder, as she realized they probably saw her.
"It's pretty hard to miss that scarlet forest you have over there." Raven laughed.
"Oh shut up!" Cornelia was clutching her sides. All was silenced by a knock on the door. "Coming!" She ran up to the door, unlocking it.
Cornelia swung the door wide open, and saw 6 foot 4 Ethan peering down on her 5 foot 4 frame. "Hey." She said simply.
"Hey," He replied digging in his hands in his jacket pockets. "So today, I found this on a rock, in the alligator site." Ethan produced a cerise ring that Cornelia usually wore on her middle finger.
He knows, She thought.
Cornelia began stuttering, looking for a response. "O-oh, um, er, w-well you see, I-I had lost this morning. B-by accident."
"Accidentally dropping all the bird feed in habitat this morning?" Ethan questioned.
"That wasn't me." Cornelia lied.
"Oh. Okay, I guess the burst of ruby hair I saw wasn't you either right?" Ethan raised an eyebrow.
"If it was me?" Cornelia tried.
"Then you saw something, something you didn't want to see, I'm guessing."
"Something that would've killed me to see." Cornelia said faintly. Ethan heard, but acted like he didn't.
"Well here." He dropped the ring in her open palm. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure what you think is wrong." Ethan said.
Do it, a voice said. Do what you've never been able to do. What I'll never be able to do. One of us should get our happy ending. Please. It pleaded. Please.
"Ethan." Cornelia called shakily, Ethan turned around and faced her. She took a deep breath. "It kills me. It kills me everyday to see you with her. To see you holding her, hugging her. Knowing that will never be me. Knowing that you don't love me like you love her. I want to hate you for making me feel this way, for making me so stupid, for breaking every single wall I've ever put up. But I can't, because I love you so much, too much. It hurts my heart when you're with her. When she's with you, knowing that she's yours and you're hers. It rips me to pieces when I see you kiss her. Seeing you kiss her like that, at the start of my day, would've killed me, so I had to. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm saying this, I needed to get it off my chest. I'm sorry." Cornelia could feel tears brimming her eyes, her mismatched eyes.
A warm hand took her chin and brought it up to meet two beautiful mahogany eyes. She was leaning up, he was bending down, "I love you." He whispered. He placed his lips on her, gripping her waist in one hand, bringing the other down to her lower back. He could taste the tears running down her face.
Raven finished her tea and left without a trace. Back to the tower, at 2:47 in the morning. She didn't teleport, she flew. She liked seeing the city lights at night, she almost felt like one of them, almost.
There was a single light on in the T-Tower, the kitchen light. She landed on the roof and entered quietly. She came downstairs and peered into the kitchen. Empty. Raven strode in, about to turn off the light. In the corner of her eye, she saw him sitting there. He wasn't sleeping, his breathing was uneven.
However, she still called out to him, as if she didn't know. "Robin?" The black shape shuffled.
"Yeah?" He answered, coming into the light.
"Why are up so late?" Raven asked, though she knew what her heart wanted ask instead. Were you waiting for me?
"Filling out some papers." Robin replied stretching, she saw the bags in his eyes.
"Oh, okay." Raven turned to go to her room, and try to get some rest.
"Raven, wait." Robin called out, seeking her again. Raven faced him again, taking in his tired, exhausted, appearance. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for going into your mind. That is your personal space, and I invaded it. Even as leader, it wasn't my place to be there."
"You didn't sleep." Raven spoke, not acknowledging his apology.
"I had a lot of work." He looked uneasily down at his boots.
"No, it only take about 4.5 hours at the max to finish case files. You finished them yesterday. You wanted to stay up," Raven inhaled. "I can smell the coffee on your breath." She walked closer to him. "Robin, why didn't you sleep?"
Robin sighed. "I was waiting for you." He disclosed.
"Why? I was fine."
"Yeah, well after the terms we left on, I wanted to make sure you were okay. That we were okay."
"We're fine." Raven stated.
"Why do you always say 'fine'? Stop it, 2 days ago you were mad and now you're 'fine'? You're always 'fine'. Like nothing bothers you. It does bother you and I know it, you don't always to be the strong one Raven. You may not know it, but I'm here for you. I know it bothered you when I saved Starfire, I know it bothered you when you got shot and I didn't protect you." Robin voiced.
It was happening, her walls were crumbling, he was consciously knocking them down, one by one. He stared at her, trying to get some kind of response or reaction. There was none. He backed up and turned to leave.
"Robin," She whispered. He twisted back and came to his original position in front of her. "I forgive you."
He knew what she meant.
He would take it, for now.
"Goodnight Rae." He said as he went to his room.
"Goodnight Robin." She almost smiled. Almost.
So . . . How was it?
Sucky? Good? Bad? Amazing? Review please!
Thanks again to my first reviewer : TheBigBadWolfxTheOncomingStorm
Excerpt from Chapter 4:
She needed him. She was ready to admit that. He needed to know, before he left, before it was too late, he needed to know.
"I need you Robin. So much. I've fallen in love with you. Damn it, I need to know I'm not in this alone!* Give me something! I need something to hold on to! Please!" Tears were streaming down her face. She fell to the ground.
There he was. Standing in front of her again.
"Raven, I. . . "