I has a job! And I got offered to write someone's biography because apparently they want their life published. But do not fear! Behold, I shall continue this story to completion! Sorry it's a little late, I just started school today, but it's the longest chapter so far :)
Disclaimer: I am not Marvel, I do not own the Avengers. BUT I AM Levram and I DO own the Sregneva! 8D
Tony instantly jumped back, smacking his pounding skull against the headboard. He winced and rolled off the bed, moving near the door in case a quick escape was required. The watchful green eyes followed his every move, which just made them all the more creepy. When the fog floating inside the billionaire's brain finally cleared, he started to process everything that had happened so far. Once the task was complete he froze and stared at the floating pair of eyes. There was an odd glint in them, one of...glee? Yep, Stark decided, definitely mirth. "Don't be stupid Tony, floating peepers can't show emotion..." he thought to himself. Suddenly the eyes disappeared, and the playboy blinked in confusion. "Where...?"
"Good morning Stark," a hazy voice whispered in his ear, the words smooth like honey.
The genius whipped around, and saw...nothing. He turned in a full circle, knitting his eyebrows together. Finding nothing Tony groaned and rubbed furiously at his face, trying to fully wake himself up. A hot breath was suddenly on his ear and Stark went rigid, quickly glancing over his shoulder, nothing. A laugh sounded from across the room and suddenly Loki appeared, sitting casually on the bed with his legs crossed. Before Tony could open his mouth the god evaporated, the mist from where he been began spreading around the room. When it cleared standing in front of Tony was...Clint. The archer laughed and threw a bowl of purple face paint at him, and then jumped straight up and vanished into the vent that Stark thought he had securely glued shut. Natasha appeared upside down with a camera clasped in her hands, apparently Barton was holding onto her legs. How that was a possible feat in a vertical vent the genius didn't know. A flash of light blinded him temporarily and pounding in his head subsided to a dull throb both assassins were gone.
Stark heaved a sigh and headed to the adjoining washroom, scrubbing as much of the purple off his face as possible, then left to look for some advil. Being pranked by both Loki and the agents in the same time frame could not be a coincidence. Swallowing three pills to exterminate his hangover Tony decided to skip breakfast and look for the captain. He wasn't hard to find considering Steve always sat in the living room with a coffee and newspaper in the morning. The inventor threw himself down on the couch next to their leader and cleared his throat loudly to gain attention.
"Yes Stark?" the soldier didn't even glance up.
"So, uh...what actually happened last night? I got this awful hangover but I don't even remember drinking that much."
Steve looked over the top of his newspaper, "You didn't. That's not a hangover, though I don't doubt it feels like one, it's just a really bad headache. That tattooed man from the club last night, he hit you over the head with a rum bottle."
"Oh."
That taken care of the genius stood up and stretched, going to look for the assassins. He ended up searching for only five minutes before he gave up and stuck his head into the nearest air duct, "Barton! Natasha!" he received no response and huffed grumpily, "Jarvis, where is Robin hood and the itsy bitsy spider?"
"In the living room sir," was the immediate reply.
"WHAT? I just came from there!" Stark stormed back into the living room where both agents where calmly sitting on the loveseat, sipping coffee. Steve was still there, though he had put down his newspaper and was making polite smalltalk with Clint. The playboy stood in front of them, tapping his foot while they continued to ignore his presence.
The archer finally finished his conversation with the good captain and turned his attention to the agitated man, "What's up Tony?"
"How did you get in my room? I super glued that vent shut."
"Did you really think that would deter us?" Natasha asked, her face betraying no emotion whilst Barton's flickered with mischief.
"Yes. But I suppose I'll have to think of something else, I am called a genius after all."
Romanoff remained unimpressed and Clint snorted, "If you say so. That aside, why was there smoke in your room? I mean sure it was a good cover for me to drop down unnoticed, but I didn't think you would have anything explosive in your room."
"Wait," Tony frowned, "you mean you didn't plan this with Loki?"
Both the archer and Natasha turned to each other, clearly confused. The deadlier of the two shook her head, "No. We haven't seen him since the kitchen incident. Why was he in your room?"
"I woke up and saw a pair of floating eyeballs in front of me, I almost crapped my pants. It was him alright, his voice, laugh, everything. And the smoke, he did that too right when he disappeared. Then you dropped in and I just thought..." the inventor trailed off, not needing to say anymore.
"That's certainly odd," the two men jumped, they had completely forgotten about Steve. Natasha looked slightly amused at their little freak out, but snapped back into her stoic expression almost as soon as the mirth had come, leaving the others to wonder if they had just imagined it.
"It's nothing, no harm done," Stark shrugged it off as the soldier went back to reading his newspaper. Out of the corner of his eye Tony noticed Natasha deftly pull out her camera and aim it at Rogers. Clint sat on the edge of the couch, and the billionaire turned around to watch the show. Soon Steve's face turned bright red, it looked so hot Stark vaguely pondered cooking an egg on it. Romanoff quickly snapped a picture and sprinted to a corner of the room, pulling back the carpet edge to hop down into a vent in the floor.
"How ghastly!" the soldier shouted, "Have they no shame? Writing something like this in a newspaper!"
At the look on Tony's face the archer leaned in and whispered, "We sabotaged Cap's newspaper, one of the articles is a little...revealing."
The inventor threw back his head and laughed, watching as Rogers crumpled the paper and stomped out. Barton grinned and raced across the room, vaulting off a nearby recliner and doing a perfect swan dive, he vanished headfirst into the vent, no doubt to find Natasha. Stark huffed at what was clearly just Clint showing off, and stalked off to find Bruce.
"MY FRIENDS! HURRY! MY BROTHER IS TRAPPED IN THE SCREEN THAT DISPLAYS MOVING PICTURES!" Thor's bellow echoed through the tower, startling the two scientists from their work.
"Good to know we don't have to teach Thor how to use the intercom. He's loud enough to be heard without it," Banner comment dryly.
Soon the Avengers had all gathered in the common room, staring with annoyance at the thunderer who was panicked.
"LOOK MY FRIENDS!" Thor wailed, "MY BROTHER CANNOT ESCAPE!"
Tony let out an exasperated puff of air, "They're simply showing a picture of him on the news so that civilians know to call the police if they see him. Your brother's not actually in the TV buddy."
Thor sighed in relief and everyone silently sent prayers of thanks to the genius. Everything was fine...until Loki stepped out of the screen.
"You simply would not believe how boring it is in there," the god said dramatically, putting a hand to his chest in exaggeration. The Avengers all stared, jaws on the floor, except for Thor, who jumped up and quickly flung his arms around his brother, catching the trickster off guard.
"Brother! You are safe once more! Who put you in that dreadful place?"
"Let go of me you oaf!" screeched Loki, futilely pushing against the thunderer's chest.
"Nay brother!" Thor cried, "Let us celebrate your return! BEHOLD! I am expressing great joy at your victory over the evil screen!"
The other god simply smirked, relaxing into the future king and reaching his arms up to wind them around Thor's neck. The elder's face lit up like a light bulb, thinking the trickster was finally accepting his family again. What he didn't see was Loki's hands glowing green and turning his hair a bright neon pink. When the thunderer let go his brother stepped back and smirked, barely contained laughter bubbling in his throat. Natasha took advantage of the situation and snapped a photo of a still smiling Thor. With a wave, Loki disappeared, leaving a magical sparkly pink cloud behind.
"He really does have a thing for pink eh?" Tony commented.
"It is very uncommon see pink on Asgard, I suppose my brother finds it amusing to prank us with such a feminine colour," Thor replied.
The playboy smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Indeed he does." The god smiled and patted Stark on the back, knocking the wind out of him, he then proceeded to leave the room, the others still staring.
"Do you think we should tell him?" Natasha asked.
Everyone thought for a minute, "Nah."
"Wait a minute," Clint said suddenly, "When did Thor get here?"
The genius was sitting on the couch, watching Bruce run around and search for a screwdriver, "Honestly Tony! You have all this fancy tech equipment and three different labs, and yet no screwdrivers?!"
Stark shrugged, "I do have some, you just can't find them."
"Well would you help me for once?" Banner glared and crossed his arms.
"No. But Jarvis will. Jarvis?"
"Yes sir?" was the AI's immediate response.
"Scan the tower for a screwdriver would ya?"
"Of course sir, right away."
Tony watched as his friend sighed, aggravated, and walked off to look somewhere else. The billionaire brushed it off and opened his journal.
May 11, 2012
I am so awesome that today I will not write an intro, because I do not know what to say. Even though writing a beginning is crucial, screw the rules I have money.
Fact 1: My dear pupils, remember that no matter how educated you are, how much equipment you have, or how complex your prison for him is, the villain known as Mr. Screwdriver will always escape. This is because he is a talented escape artist and can elude you by cloaking himself with invisibility.
Fact 2: Loki likes pink, therefore he must be a fag. Don't worry I'm kidding. I said I'm kidding. I'M KIDDING THOR! *the sentences after are too covered in blood to be properly read. Tony tried to salvage what he could.*
Fact 3: Clint used to do ballet. He told me so after I asked him how he did a swan dive into an air duct. He said that it was part of SHIELD basic training, they had to learn how to swim, and apparently, dance. I can just picture Fury on his tiptoes in a nice pink tutu now...
Fact 4: Do not show or talk to Thor about Star Wars because he wants to hire some Jedi now. He thinks that they would be able to help us and detain his brother, telling him they are fictional have no effect. I don't think he really understands.
Fact 5: If you hang up on Fury, he will dump ALL the Avengers paperwork on you. This happened to a certain individual (shut up Spangles it was totally not me). But I am still more afraid of Natasha than eye patch guy.
Fact 6: Seeing floating eyeballs does not mean you are drunk or hallucinating, it just means that Loki's in the room. How unfortunate for the victim. But great news for the person conveniently hanging upside down with a camera.
Fact 7: Thor can be really dense sometimes, but other days really reasonable. I don't know how he switches between the two. Does he wake up in the morning and be all like, 'should I be smart or an idiot today? I can't decide so let's go with my default which is thickheaded and clueless.' He just showed up today, he probably timed it to so he could freak out as soon as he got here and scare the living crap out of us. When did he get here anyway?
Fact 8: Capsicle and I have yet to stay at a club for the promised hour. Which is really lame if you think about it, all our experiences so far have gone bad. He should be on the floor by now kissing my feet and begging me to take him out again tonight. He should also have hooked up with someone by now.
Tony put his pen down and sighed, watching as Banner walked past again, having not yet found the elusive screwdriver, even with Jarvis scanning the tower. The inventor frowned and looked up at the time, it was 5:30...he really should eat.
"You really should eat," Clint pointed out.
Stark jumped three feet into the air, "Where the heck did you come from?!" He looked up and saw a conveniently placed vent right over the spot on the couch where Barton was sitting.
The archer's brows furrowed, "I walked in through the door."
Tony did his first epic face palm of the day.
Stark walked onto the balcony where Natasha was reading in the fading daylight. He hopped up and splatted down on the loveseat next to her. The playboy leaned over, trying to get a glimpse of her book but the agent gave him a single irritated flash of her eyes and he paled, backing away a bit.
"Hey," he tried, and was pointedly ignored, "Tashaaa," no response, "Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaashaaaa," Tony poked her side and she shifted away from him a little, a brief tinge of laughter dancing across her face before it was wiped out. But the damage was done, the inventor had seen it. He grinned and poked her again, and this time she set her book down and turned to him, trying to look annoyed but failing.
"What is it Stark?"
Tony smiled like a Cheshire cat, an evil glint in his eye, "You're ticklish." It was not a question.
Romanoff tried to object anyways, a frown laced with, was it worry? And perhaps slight nervousness, evident in her expression, "No. Of course not, I am a trained assassin, and am immune to such childish tactics."
"Yeah an assassin trained in ballet, very deadly," the playboy snorted. He suddenly sprung, getting close to the agent and attacking her sides. Natasha began to break down into laughter, tears forming in her eyes. Apparently she was very sensitive. He continued and watched as she squirmed, trying to wriggle away from him.
Tony was just starting to enjoy himself when the loud booming of Thor's voice reached their ears, "MY FRIENDS! COME LOOK, BEHOLD IT IS TRAGIC!" Using that opportunity, the redhead raced from the room, snatching her book and straightening her clothes on the way. Stark took a little longer, flopping face first onto the couch and groaning, he had been so close.
Thor was in the hallway, looking into the mirror at his newly coloured pink hair, and seemed very upset. He waited until all the Avengers were gathered before expressing his displeasure, "My friends! Which of you has done this awful deed?"
"None of us Thor," Bruce sighed, "It was Loki."
"That cannot be!" the thunderer exclaimed sharply, "He has decided to give up his evil ways."
"Did you actually hear him say that?" Steve deadpanned.
The god looked sheepish, "Well no, but it could not have been him."
"Thor," Natasha tried to reason, "You know Loki has an unhealthy obsession with pink at the moment, besides, we're you're comrades, why would we do it?"
He frowned in confusion, "You and the eye of hawk have been pulling pranks on everyone all day though no?" He looked pointedly at Clint, who was rolling on the floor clutching his sides. He couldn't help it, every time he looked at Thor he cracked up again.
"Barton you're not helping," Natasha kicked the archer lightly in the ribs, "Still, we aren't on a pink frenzy like your brother at the moment."
"I fail to see the connection." the thunderer said stubbornly.
Cue Tony's second epic face palm.
Happy pulled up at a club downtown, a really low-class one. There were drunk people as far as the eye could see, apparently the club was celebrating their ten year anniversary of being open. A sign advertised free drinks all night long, and the inventor drooled at the sight of it. Of course he could pay for any amount of drinks, but free was good in his opinion, so he wasn't about to complain. Steve sniffed unhappily at the heavy scent of smoke and weed in the air. He tried to ignore all the leering gazes of many women, some who were already hanging off a man.
"Ok, we are actually going to stay an hour this time," Stark said.
The captain inwardly groaned, he would have rather spent four hours at the Devu Shar than one here, "Joy."
Tony grinned, his face shaded from the light making him look downright evil. As per usual, the genius stalked right up to the bar, and ordered a tequila. Rogers followed more slowly, trying to shake off the feeling of being stared at. He was almost to Stark when the man was flocked by ladies, and he stopped, at a loss of what to do. Spinning around, the soldier noticed women gathering around him, it seemed to be a preplanned idea as they had created a full circle, leaving no space for escape. The girls were moving in sync, smirks pasted on their faces. Steve froze, panic bubbling up inside him and threatening to burst out of his throat. He let it, releasing a high pitched (and very manly) squeal.
Tony was sweet talking some woman whose name he didn't know when a sudden thought hit him. He turned around, "Where's Capsicle?"Then he noticed a group of, very drunk, ladies drifting around, they seemed to be searching for something. "Or someone..." The billionaire excused himself, blowing a goodbye kiss to the women around him and went off the search for the captain. He walked around for quite a while, but Rogers was nowhere to be found. Then he looked up, and his jaw dropped.
If anyone gets the reference I made in Tony's journal you get a free cybercookie. Leave a review please! Tell me if you want to see more of a certain character or if you want me to do some of the chapters in Steve's POV, right now I've mostly been doing Tony's. Until next time! :}