(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer)
When my eyes started to refocus, the wrong eyes were looking down at me, they were not Ian's, they were Mel's. I could hear two people in an argument and when I realized one of them was Ian, I quickly sat up but Mel pushed me back down.
" Wanda, are you ok? What happened? Don't get up yet, here have some water first." Mel handed me a bottle of water, I looked over in the direction the argument was coming from and saw Ian already running towards us. He hurled both arms around me and kissed me ever so gently on the forehead.
"You scared me half to death you know, don't ever do that again." Ian looked like he had tears in his eyes but I couldn't be sure.
"Who were you arguing with?" just then I saw Jared come up wiping the blood away from his nose.
"Ian! Why did you punch Jared?" I was mortified.
"Cos he's a dick, and cos he didn't stop when you asked him to, you obviously weren't feeling well, how are you feeling now? What happened? Do you want me to take you back to the caves?." He really was worried about me, which warmed my heart, but the fact that he resorted to violence made me a little angry.
"Ian I didn't faint because I wasn't feeling well, I fainted because of the way you were looking at me. And no I don't want to go back to the caves, I feel fine." I was blushing; I must have been as red as the blood that was still dripping from Jared's nose. I looked away, embarrassed because I just confessed the effect Ian has on me in front of everyone.
"Really? What do you mean? I don't understand, the way I was looking at you?" Ian was clearly confused.
"Ian, I…uh." I was still beet red.
"you can tell me, sweetheart I don't understand."
"I don't know, it was the way your eyes looked, like you could see right through me. The way you were looking at me, was like you were REALLY looking at ME, I dunno I just felt really lightheaded." Ian smiled at my babbling and kissed me like he's never kissed me before. I forgot where I was, who I was, Ian was everywhere, it was amazing. Just when I started to feel the familiar molten rock, Mel cleared her throat.
"um guys lets not go for round two ok."
"Oops sorry, how are you feeling Wanda?" Ian was still smiling and his beautiful sapphire eyes were almost smoldering, I almost did go for round two, so I had to look away.
"I uhh..Feel great! Really, there's nothing for you to worry about, I just needed some air." I still felt a little embarrassed.
Ian whispered in my ear, "Don't ever feel ashamed of telling me how you feel, cos I don't. You have no idea how happy I am right at this very moment, just to know that you love me."
Ian helped me up and we all unloaded the van together. I couldn't stop smiling and every time I stopped to look at Ian, he was doing the same. I still couldn't help but feel nervous. I had no idea how to be truly intimate with someone, it really scared me. What if Ian thought I wasn't good enough? Mel's memories of her first time with Jared went through my mind and I saw that she felt as I feel now. I had to talk to her as soon as we got to a hotel, otherwise I would never be able to sleep.
Once everything was packed into the moving truck, we said goodbye to Brandt and Aaron and the five of us went out onto the road again, with Burns in the driver's seat.
By the time we got to a hotel, I was too tired to talk to Mel, it had been a long day, but then I started thinking about being alone with Ian again and I was suddenly more alert than I had been all day. Burns and I got two rooms and I offered him the couch in mine and Ian's room, which I could see from Jared's reaction, was exactly what he was hoping for.
We were just getting settled into our room when there was a knock at the door. I knew it was either Jared or Mel because we made up our own secret knock, just incase anyone else were to ever knock on our door. Jared walked in, looking very annoyed.
"Wanda, Mel needs you in our room." Jared said as he collapsed into the arm chair and turned the TV on.
I knocked on Mel and Jared's door and she answered before I finished the secret knock.
"Bout time! Are you gonna tell me exactly what the hell happened before?"
"Promise you won't laugh?" I said suddenly self-conscious of the direction the conversation was heading.
"Wanda, we shared the same body for a whole year, there are no secrets between us, you can tell me anything, you know that." Mel started to look a little concerned.
"ok, it's a little awkward for me to talk about, but I'm a little nervous about being alone with Ian, we haven't really had the chance to be alone since I've been in this body, and well I think I'm freaking out!"
Mel burst out laughing. I was so horrified, that she would think this was funny that I started crying.
"Why the hell are you crying, I'm not laughing AT you silly, I just thought it was something really serious." Mel said still chuckling.
"you promised you wouldn't laugh, and anyway this is serious."
"Ok ok I'm sorry, your right it is serious, I just thought it was something, you know bad serious." Mel was still trying to concentrate on being more sympathetic but I could tell the only thing she wanted to do was roll around on the floor in hysterics.
"Just forget about it, I'll see tomorrow." I got up and started towards the door.
"Oh don't be like that Wanda, said I was sorry, come on I'll answer any questions you have, just don't be angry with me." All signs of laughter were completely gone so I turned around a sat down next her on the couch.
"Ok I know exactly how you feel Wanda, but you've got nothing to worry about. Ian absolutely adores you and he knows you don't have any experience with this sort of stuff. I'd bet that he would never even bring it up unless you did, why don't you just talk to him about it."
I know he wouldn't bring it up first, that's why I'm here talking to you, I want to, I just don't know how….and don't laugh!"
Mel put her arms up in defense, "I wasn't going to, I promise, but Wanda this sort of stuff comes naturally, its all about acting on impulse. What do you feel when Ian kisses you? "
I blushed, "um, lots of things, I always want more of him but we always stop or get interrupted."
Mel smiled and said, "see you don't really need my help, just go with your instincts, and he'll follow suit, I was scared the first time but once I knew that it was going to happen I just let go and went with the flow, so that's what you need to do. Don't think about what your doing, just do it!"
"Thanks for everything Mel, you really helped me a lot" I said as I gave her a hug.
"what are sisters for!" Mel said as she walked me to the door.
"Now go get Jared, all this sex talk has really got me in the mood, and I can tell he wants it too!" Mel was practically pushing me out the door.
I knocked on our door and Ian answered it with a mouth full of the left over sandwiches I picked up from a deli on our last stop. Jared quickly got up and practically ran out the door. "night guys." He called behind him as he closed the door. Ian hugged me and pulled me over to the couch. I couldn't shake the mental pictures I was having of Jared and Mel when Ian pulled me out of me reverie.
"Is everything alright, you were gone for a while." Ian said as he finished his sandwich.
"Everything is fine, Mel just needed to talk, you know girl stuff." I said smiling.
"Oh ok, I don't wanna know. Burns is just in the shower, I had one before. Did you wanna have one after him then head to bed, I'm pretty beat."
"Sure!" I probably sounded a little too enthusiastic but I don't think Ian noticed.
The hot shower loosened all the tension in my body, it felt so good I didn't want to get out. I took the time to think about everything Mel said and I felt a little better knowing that I didn't have to worry about not knowing what to do.
I got out and dried myself off and instead of putting on my usual tattered old pajamas, I just put on a pair of panties and a tight fitting tank top. When I walked out, I saw that Ian was already in bed, and his eyes practically bulged out of his head. I thought he didn't like what he saw, I suddenly felt extremely insecure about my body.
"What? You don't like it, I can change if you want" I tried so hard not to sound hurt but I wasn't fooling anyone.
"Wanderer, I've never seen you look more beautiful" he smiled as he lured me into the big king sized bed.
He kissed me softly and placed his hand on my bare skin on the small of my back, it felt incredible and I started feeling things I've never felt before. I finally found the courage to make the first move, I shakily guided his hand down over the lace of my panties and down my thigh. He instantly stopped kissing me.
"Ian why did you stop? Did I do something wrong?" I asked out of breath, I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins.
"Of course you didn't do anything wrong, I just wasn't expecting it that's all. He sounded a little edgy.
"Don't you….want me?" I could feel the tears building up but fought them really hard and actually won this time. But it was too late, Ian could see that he hurt my feelings.
"Wanderer, you have no idea exactly how much I want you, especially right now, I love you. I just don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with, look your shaking like a leaf" Ian pulled the blanket up over the both of us and hugged me.
"Ian I want to, the only reason I feel uncomfortable is because I've never done this before, I'm scared that I'd do it wrong and I don't want to disappoint you." I ran my hand down Ian's bare chest and he shivered uncontrollably.
"You could never disappoint me, even if you tried. See look what you've done to me, just by merely touching me, I'm crazy about you Wanda, you do everything right. But I don't want you to think that just because this is our first real alone time together that we have to jump into anything. We have the rest of our lives to look forward to, there's no rush. Right now I'm more than happy just to hold you." Ian's grip on me tightened and I couldn't help but yawn.
Ian chuckled, "get some sleep my love we can talk about it in the morning."
Ian was right, we didn't have to rush anything and I suppose it wouldn't be very romantic if our first time was in a hotel with Burns in the next room. I wanted our first time to be special and just when I was just about to doze off I smiled, because I knew no matter what, Ian and I would always be special.
I'm not very happy with this chapter, I think it could have been a lot better. But anyway let me know what your thoughts are.
Shar xoxo