Welcome to the Jungle

When Grimmjow woke up he was woozy and nauseous as shit. Every square centimeter of his skin burned. His core felt frozen solid. He shivered. There weren't enough buckets in the world to hold all the vomit he heaved up. Or would have heaved up, if his body had any fluids to expel.

He rolled over. Rubbed his forehead. Realized - hey - he was still tied the fuck up. And he was alone.

He felt different; mismatched; skin sparking and numbing in patches all over. Another dry heave.

"Fuck me," he hissed into the ground. No, it was floor. He was on a wood floor, judging by the friction and sound his cheek made. Cheek? His right cheek? Why was his right cheek rubbing on the floor? Where was his mask? Grimmjow rolled on his stomach and pushed up with his knees.

"The fuck?" Too tired to say anything else.

Sound of an opening door.

"Ah, our speedy little Arrancar is awake!" Kisuke's voice said.

"Rise and shine, blue balls," a second, shriller voice joined. Little boy, he thought.

"What…" he tried. "What did you do to me?"

"How do you feel? Tired? Sick? Homicidal?"

"Moreso now that you're here."

"Do you feel any different from usual?"

Actually, yes. He felt like he was on the verge of death. "What did you do?"

"Oh the process is far too complicated to explain. You put up quite the struggle, so we had to tweak it. Just a tad. Involved a few binding kido and a large hammer. That's what's causing your nausea. Have a headache?"

"Stop talking."

"That's a "yes". Ururu, jot that down," he said to a tiny girl at his side. She scribbled on a clipboard. The red-headed boy on Kisuke's other side brandished a bat.

"What are you doing?"

"You're a brand new man, Grimmjow! I have to take notes or I can't replicate the experiment. Now are you feeling any joint pain?"

"I'm going to kill you!" Grimmjow rushed him. Didn't have a plan, didn't have a hand free; maybe he would've headbutted the guy, but his mind was so rage-blank there wasn't any room for lucid fighting sense.

Face full of pain.

Hitting the floor hard on his bare cheek.

Red behind his eyes.

Sight fading at the edges.

The kid. The kid had hit him. With a bat.

"I wouldn't advise it, punk!" the angry red-head said. "Now sit down and shut up!"

"I hate you," Grimmjow said into the floor.

"Good shot, Jinta. Ururu, check-off joint pain," Kisuke said.

"What did you do to me?" Grimmjow asked. It came out as more of a whimper.

"Didn't we say? You're a human now!" Kisuke said. "Isn't it weird how no one's ever tried stuffing an Arrancar into an empty body before? Arrancar are advanced Hollows, which are just souls gone bad. So at your most basic level, you guys belong in bodies like the rest of us!"

WhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatTHEFUCK?!

"For a while it was just a harebrained theory of mine. I'm glad you made it to the human world so I could try it out!"

No. Nonononononono.

"So thank you, Grimmjow. This is all possible because of you!"

This is not happening. This is not fucking happening.

"Your wardens are just outside - you've got quite a few volunteers. They're excited to meet you."

He went to the door and slid it open.

"Captain Byakuya Kuchiki and Lieutenant Renji Abarai of squad six, Rukia Kuchiki of squad thirteen, and two of my personal friends: Chad Yasutora and Uryuu Ishida."

Grimmjow didn't bother looking.

"I don't give a shit about your friends."

"Now, your living arrangement is a bit improvised. We'll have to keep you in a warehouse nearby, just in case that seal on you breaks. I don't want to have to repaint the basement again."

"So it's a seal, huh?" Grimmjow said, grin spreading across his face. "All I've gotta do is break it and you're all dead."

"Oh no. The seal is permanent. It's binding you to that gigai, yes, but it's also giving you stability. It's complicated but the gist is: you break it, you'll probably explode. Not that I would mind that. We'd get some great data," Kisuke said. "But I don't think you'd like that very much, would you, Grimmjow?"

"I'm going to kill you. Every single one of you."

"Now why would you want to do that? We're giving you what you want!"

"What kind of twisted shit-"

"The way I see it," Urahara interrupted, "you've been brought down to normal. No powers to speak of. Well, maybe a bit; we're not sure yet."

"What-"

"The point is, for all intents and purposes, you're human now. Remind you of anyone?"

"What the fuck are you-"

"You're just like Ichigo! You guys can fight on equal footing again!"

"Kisuke," a shorty from the line-up said. "Every time Ichigo and Grimmjow have fought they almost killed each other. Maybe we shouldn't be putting ideas in his head-"

"Hey, shut up, kid, the grown-ups are talking," Grimmjow said.

"Excuse me, did you just disrespect my sister?" the pretty black-haired guy asked. He had weird shit on his head, like porcelain cornrows.

"I can defend myself, brother," the girl replied. "Grimmjow, do you recognize me?"

"Not really."

"Maybe this will jog your memory." She drew her sword. "Dance: Sode no Shirayuki!" The blade turned ice white and a wave of cold rushed over him.

She walked forward and put the tip under his chin. Everyone else stood there and let her, trusting that she wouldn't do anything rash. Or fearing that she'd turn on them if they tried to stop her.

Damn. Every girl Grimmjow met was either a twelve-year-old or a bitch. And this one was both.

"All of us are here because you've hurt us or someone close to us. I swear, so long as it is within my power to stop you, you shall never harm another living thing on this or any other plane of existence for the rest of time. By any means necessary. Is that clear?"

He remembered her now.

"Is that clear?" she repeated.

He nodded.

"Good."

She'd come a long way since he'd put a hand through her stomach.

Actually no. She'd stayed the same and Grimmjow had gone backwards. He chewed on that fact while she sheathed her sword.

"You guys will get along great! And Grimmjow, think about what I said," Kisuke said and booted him out the door.

"Okay, we're gonna set some ground rules," the spiky-haired tattoo guy said as he cut Grimmjow's ties. "You respect us, I won't put my foot up your ass."

"Get bent."

Renji kicked him into the concrete.

"Cause, effect. Get it?"

Grimmjow's heavy breathing echoed in the empty warehouse. He spat blood on the red guy's robe.

"Fuck's sake!"

Grimmjow hissed at him.

"Renji," the brown guy said, "anyone in Grimmjow's position would mouth off. Maybe we should go easy on him." Brown guy was way too mellow for Grimmjow's taste but he made an excellent point.

"I have to agree," four-eyes added. "Urahara did say he's human now. He's far more delicate than he used to be."

"Bullshit!" Grimmjow said.

"Silence, fool!" the twelve-year-old bitch shouted.

"Make me!"

"That doesn't make sense," four-eyes said.

"You don't make sense, glass-face," Grimmjow said.

"I will take the first shift," the quiet guy with hair decor said.

"Brother, are you sure?"

"I am. The rest of you return to Kisuke Urahara."

"You're going to stay here by yourself? That seems like a bad idea," brown guy said.

"On the contrary. This is the most efficient use of our resources. If this Arrancar came to Karakura with minimal effort then some could follow him. I will stay, the rest of you will patrol the city," the brother said.

"Hold on a second! Who put you in charge?" four-eyes protested.

"Do you disagree with my deduction?"

"Well, no-"

"Ishida, let's go," the little sister said.

"I'm a Quincy. I don't abide by your chain of command."

"Uryuu, if you have a better plan I'm sure the Captain would like to hear it," brown guy said.

Four-eyes Uryuu got stumped by that one. He shut his trap and everyone except the fancy-pants Captain left. Grimmjow liked them. They were dumb enough to leave this guy alone with him.

The Captain, meanwhile, stood there and watched him.

"What are you doing?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"You're just going to stand there? You didn't bring a book or something?"

He said nothing.

"Well you're boring."

Grimmjow leaned back against the wall. "So what are you here for? You hate me? Want me dead?"

"No. I do not care about you," Captain Fancy said.

"Aah I get it. You're worried about your baby sister! Think I'm going to move her bowels again?"

Fancy didn't answer, so Grimmjow knew he hit the nail on the head.

"That's too bad. Turns out you're just as sentimental as the rest of them."

"I'm surprised you know the meaning of the word," Fancy said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forgive me, I would have thought words greater than three syllables were beyond you. It appears I was mistaken."

"Tch," Grimmjow said. "So what's his long game?"

"To whom do you refer?"

"Dork-hat mcFuckity pants. If I'm his experiment or whatever, what does he want me to do? Sit around with my thumb up my ass until I croak?"

"I imagine he will perform a series of increasingly difficult and punishing procedures to test the limits of your mental and physical fortitude."

"Hah. Good luck getting me to do those."

"I also imagine he is securing a means of ensuring your compliance. A chain for the rabid dog, if you will," Fancy said.

First off, it's cat, and I'm not rabid, just opinionated.

"You got quite the imagination, Kuchiki."

"I do not."

"I bet you imagine a lot of things. In the dark of the night, when the shadows creep over your bed and you can't keep the fear away. You imagine your tough little sister, watch as her strength dies - watch me take it from her-"

Cold tip.

Metal under his chin.

Sword at his throat - Kuchiki's sword.

Grimmjow had blinked. Bad idea around this guy.

Kuchiki glared down at him.

"You. Will not speak of her."

"Won't I?" Grimmjow smiled. "I'm Kisuke's precious little lab rat."

"He has a spare."

Fuck. I forgot about that dumb bitch Arashi…

"As far as I am concerned, you are disposable. And I am prepared for the consequences that killing you entail. Are you?"

Grimmjow swallowed. Truth be told, he wasn't.