What Makes Us Remember Chapter 3, a glee fanfic

AN:I tried to upload this yesterday but FF wouldn't let me!!! Thank you too all those who reviewed and added this story to your favorites or your alerts. You have no idea how happy it makes me whenever I get an email that tells me that someone else likes my work. So please continue being awesome! I do not own glee even though sometimes writing this it feels like these are my characters…but it's only a fantasy. I also don't own the song Rachel sings in the auditorium, that belong to Kelly Clarkson and the one that Puck and Rachel sing together is by Kenny Rogers and Whitney Duncan. Oh and the key for that goes like this:

BOLD-PUCK; Italics-Rachel; BOLD/Italics-Both

So, I'll stop rambling and enjoy this chapter!

Two weeks had passed since Rachel's party and she was happy that no one mentioned anything except the good parts. The only people that she would even talk to about her little breakdown with were Quinn and Kurt and because of that fact that they had seen her lying on her bed still in her skirt and blouse, soaking wet and crying. Quinn had been such a great friend that night but she was hoping that it would be enough. But unfortunately, the next day included Kurt rushing over immediately after breakfast to make sure everything was all right. Quinn and Kurt were really making a bigger deal out of everything than there needed to be. Both of them were constantly insisting that Rachel go and tell the boy who had her heart her feelings. But Rachel wasn't having it. Kurt had even deleted the 'getting over boys with Mohawks' play list from Rachel's itunes in an attempt to motivate her, but nothing was going to convince Rachel that it was a good idea. She may have pushed Puck away so that she could keep her heart in tact; however, the same fear kept her from telling him what she felt. She wasn't willing to risk what was left of her to be rejected, as Puck would choose Jessica, she was almost sure of it. Rachel felt that telling Puck that she had these feelings would do no good. The whole situation felt like the situation she found herself in almost a year ago with Finn. So much had changed but even though she had constantly made her feelings known to the tall quarterback, he constantly went back to Quinn. She knew now that was because Finn and Quinn belong together, but she couldn't do that again. She had grown in the last year, and by participating in the requested actions, Rachel would only be regressing her transformation. Rachel had made a decision within herself, that if Puck and Jessica were to break up, and the proper grieving time had elapsed, and Rachel still felt the way she did, she would tell him then. But until then she was focused on glee and school and becoming a star.

Rachel was spending most of her lunches actually in the lunchroom with her friends. The lunches she wasn't with the gleeks, she spent in the library catching up on some of the homework that she missed because Kurt called an emergency trip to the mall or Quinn needed girl time away from Finn. So today, Rachel opted to go to the auditorium during lunch for the first time since school started. Standing in the middle of the stage Rachel mentally flipped through the songs she had put on her list of songs that she wanted to sing. When she had chosen one that made her happy, she stood in the center of the stage, prepared to remember why she viewed singing as the best therapy there was.

Puck had just gotten situated in the wings of the auditorium when he heard someone walk in. Peaking slowly, Puck realized Rachel had made her way to the stage. He watched her for a moment, surprised to see her since he knew she hadn't been there since the beginning of the school year. He, however, had been sitting there everyday. Part of him sat there because Puck was hoping Rachel would come in and sing and he could have his sanctuary the way it should be. But even when he knew she wasn't coming, Puck came for the silence. It was that silence that made the noise inside his head less hectic, more manageable, sometimes.

Love can be a many splendid thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

Puck listened as Rachel's voice ran over him, hugging him like a blanket. They may not be together but the way her voice made him feel, he was sure, would never change. It had been a long summer without her voice. He remembered a time when he couldn't get her to shut up but for a long time he wanted nothing more than to hear her talk, even if it was a simple hello. That was all before he met Jessica at some random kid's party. Before Jessica, he would find himself thinking about that afternoon in the choir room, the day he told Rachel that he really hadn't cheated on her and the day she walked away anyway.

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Listening to Rachel sing now, Puck's head was stuck in the choir room. Rachel was kissing him and in his head, and a few of his dreams, she never left. Puck listened to the words of the song; Rachel always came to the auditorium to sing about her feelings when she thought it was the only way to express them, and Puck knew that so listening to her sing a song about heartache almost made him hopeful. Hopeful that she was missing him; then terrified to think that the song was about someone else. He was trying, for Jessica, to push Rachel from his mind. Jessica didn't deserve him to be holding on to these memories of Rachel. Puck knew in his head that Rachel wasn't coming back. She had made it perfectly clear that she couldn't trust him. And he couldn't hate Rachel for thinking that. He couldn't blame her after everything that happened for her just to turn and run.

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

He missed her. He missed her so bad sometimes he couldn't get a clear control of the feelings or if it's ever going to go away. He'd lashed out and Finn and Mike (especially Mike because of the time Mike was spending with Rachel) a few times for seemingly no reason. But the truth was he didn't know how to manage feelings, especially ones like this. But he kept remembering that Rachel doesn't want him and that Jessica does and that it is being with her that he needs to focus on. But Rachel was being so nice to him, and Jessica. She invited them both into her home at her end of summer party. But by the end of the night when she ran by, he had to fight an incredible urge he had to run after her. She was obviously upset at something, but Kurt had just come down and told everyone she was sick. Puck asked Quinn Monday at school what was up with Rachel and Quinn got really weird and just told him the same story Kurt had. When he pushed it, Quinn snapped at him to leave it alone.

Rachel finished singing, assured that her methods were true and singing was very good for the human mind. It wasn't that her tortured heart was cured, but she finally felt like she could breathe again, despite her conviction that it would only last a little while. She grabbed her bags as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and took off to meet with Quinn.

~~~~*~~~~

Wednesday was a horrible day for Rachel. She was late leaving for school and almost immediately, she was given a slushie facial. She took the note that the slushies from the hockey players felt larger slushie than the football players had as it dripped down her face. Lunch was spent talking about everyone's weekend plans. (Everyone, except Rachel, had a date). So she made vow then that with sectionals so close she would spend her weekend perfecting her solos. Or just the one solo she currently had. She would also watch West Side Story. It had been at least two weeks since the last time she viewed it. So when glee rolled around, Rachel was hoping for a little bit of a change in the pace of the day. It didn't come.

The first thing Mr. Shuester did when he walked in the room was hand out the final two songs he wanted them to perform at sectionals, 'Against All Odds' and 'Livin' on a Prayer'. Both were amazing songs and Rachel couldn't wait to sing them, until Mr. Shuester spoke.

"Alright, on both of these songs, I've elected Rachel to be the female lead, and Puck to be the male lead."

Everyone looked shocked, but the shock couldn't have been greater for Puck and Rachel. No one shocked that Rachel got the lead, but that Puck had gotten a lead on two songs. Puck remembered the time before regionals last year that he referred to Mr. Shuester as a masochist and noted that he was currently playing into that. Rachel thought about throwing a long unseen diva fit when Mr. Shuester was continuing his behavior the next week when he decided that he had one more song idea for sectionals that he wanted to have Puck and Rachel take the leads on. Never had Rachel not wanted a solo more in her life. But when Mr. Shuester called them both up to the front of the group, Rachel did what she needed to do. She looked at the music; she recognized only one of the names on the sheet, Kenny Rogers; which meant this was a country song. Rachel really wondered where Mr. Shuester was getting his music from but as Brad and the band started up, she looked at Puck who looked just as pleased as she did to be standing there. Puck mumbled something along the lines of this being a joke before he started singing.

I didn't look over my shoulder
I wasn't ready for this
Didn't see the signs on the horizon
I was so sure that you would never leave
But you did

So sweep away the sand and dry the ocean,
And just pack the moon and stars up in a cardboard box
And stop the clocks from chiming
Block the sun from shining
And paint the sky a deeper shade of blue
'Cause my world's over without you

I know I should just keep going
But I don't know where to start
I never thought I'd see the day when
You'd go and leave me here
With my broken heart but you did.

So sweep away the sand and dry the ocean

And just pack the moon and stars up in a cardboard box

Stop the clocks from chiming

Block the sun from shining

And paint the sky a deeper shade of blue

'Cause my world's over without you

Maybe some day all the pain will fade

Maybe this hurt will slowly slip away

Maybe some things will never change

And I'll still love you.

Stop the clocks from chiming
Block the sun from shining
And paint the sky a deeper shade of blue

'Cause my world's over without you
My world's over
My world's over without you
My world's over
Stop the clocks from chiming
And block the sun from shining
'Cause my world's over without you

The moment they were finished the room erupted in applause. There was never any doubt in Rachel's mind that she and Puck wouldn't be able to work together and make any song sound amazing. It was the number of songs that was becoming a concern for her. How the hell are you suppose to get over someone when his is holding your hand and singing right into your eyes every day of the week?

"While that was amazing guys," Mr. Shuester started, "I think I'm going to stick to the original songs I had planned for sectionals."

Rachel took a deep breath trying not to remember how every time she looked up and Puck was singing to her, she felt her stomach flip inside her, the band around her heart tightened and for the longest time she thought she wasn't even going to make it through the song. Both Puck and Rachel were happy when Mr. Shuester ended rehearsal after that.

~~~~*~~~~

After glee, Puck went over to Jessica's house. This was the first time he was there when her parents weren't home. They were laying on Jessica's couch, Jessica lying across his body, and in the middle of really hot make out session before she pulled away.

"What?" Puck asked confused as she moved to sit on the couch. Puck followed her movements.

"What are you doing two weeks from Saturday?" she asked.

"Uh, I don't know. Why?"

"Because I was thinking that since my parents are out of town that weekend that we could go out somewhere nice and then come back here afterwards."

'Finally' Puck thought, 'she's going to give it up' before immediately pushing the thoughts out of his mind. Well not, entirely. He was still a dude with needs, but he had moved past that whole part of him that was obsessed with getting laid. Wait, two weeks from Saturday…

"Oh wait," Puck verbalized, "I can't two weeks from Saturday that's the day of Sectionals. I don't know what time we'll be back but if you want to do something after I'm totally down."

"You know that glee club has taken up a lot of your time for the last three weeks? And a lot of your summer?"

"I know we've been working so hard. And now Mr. Shue has given me the lead on two songs," Puck paused to see the lack of interest on Jessica's face, "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you have to come to sectionals? You'd have to drive yourself there and back because I have to take the bus with everyone else but we can do something as soon as we get back."

"You want me to drive there and back alone and then sit by myself while I watch you dance and sing around a stage with your ex-girlfriend? I think I'll pass."

"Come on Jess. It's not going to be as boring as you make it. We're probably going to win."

"No, but I have another idea." she said leaning into kiss him softly.

"Really? And what is that?"

"You can sing for me, now."

"What do you want me to sing?"

Jessica leaned back to think, "My mom had this song on the other day that I really loved. I think it was called Sweet Caroline."

"No." the words flew out of Puck's mouth immediately.

"Why? It's a great song?"

"Just no."

"But Puck-"

"Jess just drop it!" he snapped getting up off the couch.

"Maybe you should go." Jessica said not moving.

Puck nodded and let himself out of her house. By the time he was in his truck, he had a text, from Jessica.

And only come back when Rachel Berry isn't going to come between us again.

Puck didn't have a response so he just closed his phone and threw it across the seat of his truck. He threw his truck into reverse, backed out of the driveway, and headed home.

When he walked in the front door of his house, he was immediately greeted by his little sister, Lily, who ran from where their mother was in the kitchen to wrap herself around him.

"Hi Noah!" she exclaimed.

"Hey Lil'," Puck said as he walked, with Lily close to him into the kitchen and sat himself down at the kitchen table where his mother had just served dinner.

Puck couldn't focus on eating; he was too busy thinking about Jessica's text.

"Noah you're not eating." Noah's mother stated as she watched his just move his food around.

"Sorry, mom. I'm just not that hungry."

"Noah, you're a teenage boy, you're never not hungry. What's wrong? Did something happen with Jessica? Did you get in a fight or something?"

"Something Mom."

"Well I'm sure everything will work itself out honey," she said as Puck went back to picking at his food, "Oh, I almost forgot. Rachel called. She would like you to call her back."

Puck dropped his fork to his plate, "Why can't she learn to call my cell phone first."

"We had a delightful conversation though,"

"I bet you did."

"Noah-"

"Don't even go there Mom. Rachel and I aren't together, and we aren't going to be again."

"But-"

"Mom, drop it please," Puck said removing himself from the table, tossing his plate into the sink and going up to his room.

Once inside he flopped down on his bed, pulled out his phone, found Rachel's number, and hit send waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" she answered.

"You need to stop calling my house when you want to talk to me Rachel."

"I'm sorry Noah. Honestly, it was an accident. I was being careless when going through the address book-"

"Whatever just don't do it again."

"Noah, I don't appreciate what sounds like misguided anger. I still wish that we are able to remain amicable despite our separation."

"Yeah well I can't really be 'amicable' when you have delightful conversations with my mother. I can't be amicable when my mother gives me that disappointed look that I'm no longer with the Jewish girlfriend she has always wished for me, thinking it's my fault that we aren't together, when it is very much your fault."

"Noah-"

"Why did you call Rachel?" the harshness in his voice startled Rachel a bit.

She was silent for a moment and Puck knew that she was trying to maintain composure and not start crying. Puck could hear her take a deep breathe through the phone, "I was calling to see when you were available to rehearse our numbers for sectionals. Despite whatever feelings remain or don't between us, I am still committed to glee club's success. However, I see that it was a mistake to call. And I apologize again for calling your home. I will see you at school Noah."

And then Rachel hung up. Puck picked up the pillow from behind his head and used it to muffle an angered yell. As if his day couldn't get any better he had just snapped on Rachel when it obviously wasn't her he was mad at. Or was it? Maybe part of it was. But he was angrier with the girlfriend that wanted him to sing Sweet Caroline and the mother who made her dislike for said girl and love for the one who wasn't there anymore perfectly obvious. In an attempt to ignore everything, Puck put his music on, loud. And he was sure his mother would complain but he turned it up anyway and turned on his X-box. If he couldn't get rid of the evils (were they really?) that surrounded his real life he was definitely determined to get rid of them in virtual reality. It didn't work. He never got past level two.

AN: So the entire last part of this chapter came out of nowhere. I love when that happens and I'm glad it did. It will help me with some of the other stuff I have coming up. Yeah So, I hope you liked it! Also gleeky moment of the day: Glee is coming to Chicago!!! For two shows…which means at some point in May I will be (pending any obstacles) in the same building as twelve of my favorite people! We're going to camp out in front of Carson's on Friday night because we are that devoted! Okay enough from me, R&R!!!

-Jen