Here is Clare's paper! Whooo!
Clare Edwards
Mrs. Dawes
October 19, 2010
What Made Me, Me.
A Compellation of Heartbreak
Who am I? I don't really know, I guess. It isn't what I normally think about. I guess I know I'm not exactly being myself lately, but maybe this is the new me. I guess you could say that I am a compellation of heartbreak. With my home life, the breakup with K.C., or the viscous rumor someone I used to be so close to started to spread. Basically, I'm a mess.
My parents have always been there for me, aside from lately. They were the perfect married couple, they both have strong religious beliefs. Religion has always been a big part our lives, all four of us, well who knows what Darcy is into now. Anyway, back to my parents, they were great until Darcy left over the summer. They started fighting, a lot when school started, now its always. In fact, as I was writing my heading, my new English partner instant messaged me, asking if I had started. I told him I had just began, and he told me to use flashbacks as a more specific way to show the little things that have made me, I hate to admit it but it is a rather genius idea.
Flashback
The ball falls through the hoop, everyone screams, including me. I run from my seat in the bleachers, making my way to K.C.
"K.C." Jenna squeals, wrapping her arms around his neck, he hugs her tight, spinning her around.
"That's my name, don't wear it out," he says, smiling brightly. I can feel the excitement rushing from his body.
"I want a hug and twirl too," I interject, "Or at least a kiss," I rise onto my toes as he leans closer, I expect his lips to land on my own when they hit my cheek.
End Flashback
I suppose that's when my heart started to crack, or at least when I knew something bad was about to happed with K.C. and I.
Flashback
K.C. and I walk with Jenna outside we were all working the carwash, Jenna told us her brother was bringing his truck after he was mudding all weekend. She asks about his family, and he tenses up a bit so I mention that he has me, but he reacts differently than I had hoped for him to. He just smiled lightly, I had hoped for a hug, kiss, something.
She explains what "mudding" exactly is, then invites K.C. His smile widens, mine dies. We reach a big pick-up truck covered in mud, so much I can't tell the actual color.
"Kyle, uh, these are my friends Clare and K.C." Jenna smiles and point to us, introducing us to her big brother, Kyle.
"Oh,, you're K.C., the man, the legend. Mucho chatter about you in our house lately," he says innocently,
"Shut up, Kyle." she says through clenched teeth, cheeks turning red with embarrassment, yet the cheerleader smile never dissolves. Coach Carson pulls up with a woman, and gives the basketball team their team jackets, which K.C. couldn't afford. He turns to Jenna and I, grabbing a sudsy sponge and flings soapy water at me, then Jenna and I retaliate. K.C. turns to me, joking with some soap on his face, as I go to wipe it off, she sprays him with a hose, dragging his attention from me, until I confront him. We argue a bit, then she once again drags his away by "Losing a contact". They are both crouched down looking for it when I take a stand.
"Jenna, your butt-crack is showing." I say, loud enough for the area around us to hear.
Later the same evening.
I answer the door and see K.C. standing there.
"What are you doing here," I ask curiously.
"Just tell me what happened at the carwash," he counters.
"You really don't know," I step out side, crossing my arms, then facing him.
"We were all having fun, then you just lost your mind," he pauses, "What's up with you," he asks, sounding honestly concerned with me.
"Jenna's trying to edge me out, and you're letting her," I say softly, pushing the pain aside. He steps forward, but not much.
"Clare, no one is edging anyone out, I am allowed to be friends with other girls, you know," I feel as if I could cry, right now.
"And flirt with them too!" I exclaim, I walk to the steps and sit down, putting my head in my hands. He sits down beside me.
"You know, coach thinks its normal to look at other girls." he says trying to be sincere and honest, I don't buy into it.
"Really, do you do everything the coach says?" I say starting to overcome the upset feeling turning to into anger.
"No, but we just make each other mad," he says countering me.
"What do you mean?" I ask feeling defeated, shaking my head slightly.
"If we can't be happy maybe we shouldn't be together." he states.
"So we're breaking up?" I ask, dumbfounded, yet I had a feeling it was coming.
"Yeah, I guess we are," I look away, "I'm sorry,"
End Flashback.
I think this was my first, real, heartbreak. Not only did it hurt, but it changed me. The next bug thing that changed me was when Jenna started a rumor that I got breast implants, when I really had laser eye surgery. We had a short chat in the gym one afternoon, which I also played a big part of who I am. Seeing the person who causes my first heartbreak squirm, put some of my broken pieced back together. Yesterday was only a day ago, but I feel like a whole different person.
Flashback.
I'm talking with Alli, and I see the culprit, alone. I unzip my pink hoodie and approach her, smiling.
"Hey, Jenna, notice anything?" I ask cheerfully, trying not to laugh.
"So, its true, you went through with the surgery," her eyes bug our, as she nods, shocked.
"Yeah, I kept hearing some crazy rumor about that," I say acting like I'm brushing it off calmly.
"Obviously it's not a rumor,: she says with attitude. "I always thought more highly of you, you know?" she continues to sound like an idiot to my ears.
"And that's changed," I play along acting shocked.
"It's desperate, it's slutty, and I'm starting to think that it's all a part of some crazy plan to get K.C. back." she starts to get defensive, I laugh, receiving a look from her.
"Wow," I laugh, "You are so insecure,"
"I'm not the one who got a boob job," she counters me.
"Neither am I, Jenna," I pull the socks that I previously stuffed in my bra out, ' I got laser eye surgery, see no glasses,"
"Oh," she says, looking ridiculously embarrassed.
"Uh-huh." I laugh lightly.
"Opps?" she says questioningly.
"If I wanted K.C. back, I wouldn't need fake boobs to get him," I turn away, making sure I smile at K.C. before walking away.
End Flashback.
Finally my parents are the final leg of who I am, for now at least, I think I will just describe it. Just a bit ago more fighting started, they walk in on me as I was starting to write this paper, just after Eli let me go to do this. I am not sure what they were fighting about, but they were. I know inside their marriage won't last, but I am entitled to me hope.
So, this is who I am. I am not just me, but I am a part of everyone else.