Disclaimer: I don't, and I repeat, I DON'T own American Dad! as it's owned by FOX and Seth MacFarlane's Fuzzy Door Productions. This is a different use of media material being protected by the fair use of the U.S. copyright act of 1976. Enjoy!

AMERICAN DAD!: WILD ROGER WEST

Chapter 3: The Torture

STEVE: This is great. Now we're trapped! I mean why are we trapped? Tell me why?

STAN: Calm down, we're going to be okay, don't cry like you're a Francine.

FRANCINE: Hey!

STEVE: I'm crying like that because we're going to be tortured. And (as Roger disappears) where's Roger? How the hell did he get out?

(meanwhile, at the saloon in Langley Brothers)

ROGER: (dresses up as a cowboy that looks like Man With No Name) Why hello fellow um… everyones. I am called Cowboy Dick. I am no retard, but I don't have any personalities. So give me a beer, shaken, not… wait, that's how James Bond said. Ah, nevermind. Anyway… (Marie appears) Whoa, you're looking good. Name?

MARIE: Marie. Can I get you something?

ROGER: I know what I want, a sex on the beach. I know we don't clearly have a beach, but we can have sex.

MARIE: Um… I don't get it.

ROGER: I want to love every prostitute like you, so let's sex things up.

MARIE: (slaps Roger in the face) Freak!

ROGER: What? I thought you prostitutes like sex! You know what, the hell with it, I would like to—MARIE!

(Shineadong Liar comes to the bar as everyone gasps in fear)

ROGER: Wow, you look handsome. I never knew you would come in handy. This right here is for women only you know that?

SHINEADONG: I don't get it. I never will. So come along.

(scene cuts to the torture chamber of the West)

HAYLEY: Okay, what in god's name are you doing?

STAN: We want out you know that?

PICKY: That damn ol' Roger came to my bar and he told me about y'all.

STAN: Wait, Roger?

PICKY: Yes, that Roger.

STAN: Wow, just wow. You are good. Do you try Google Earth or something?

PICKY: We don't use internet in this bitch! We are in a mean, inspirited land with no care.

STEVE: Um, no offense, but you make a very bad impression of yourself.

PICKY: Now, to torture you with the most painful music in the world.

(Picky finds a record and plays Da Jodel-Rudel in the record)

STAN: Uh, I don't feel it.

PICKY: Huh? Nothing? Not at all? Okay, then I might torture by (wears the Burger King mask) Wearing this Burger King mask!

STAN: Okay, that's a bit scary.

FRANCINE: We got to get out of here and fast!

STAN: I know, but how are we gonna escape?

PICKY: THERE IS NO ESCAPE! AND THERE IS NO BATHROOM!

FRANCINE: Is it me, or is that a—

STAN: Kindergarten Cop reference.

FRANCINE: Yeah, just what I was about to say.