Chapter Three
Entry One
Dear One but not only Friend,
Well what can I say? Sorry I haven't written to you in a while, but things have been very different for me the past week. No, not different like I grew another head, but different as in doing things I don't normally do. I actually have had plans every night this week. No sulking in my room wishing for a better life, no worrying about packing up and moving, not one worry at all. Things have actually been great. Me and Santana have just been taking our time, getting to know each other and having fun. I actually have gotten pretty close to Quinn and Rachel as well. I have to go though, Quinn's here and we're going over to pick Santana up. All of us are going bowling tonight. I haven't bowled since I was seven so look out everybody!
Yours truly,
Forever Relocated
Chapter Three
Scene One
"Brittana let's go!" Quinn called from my front foyer. She and the group decided to give me a nickname, well Santana and me a nickname. Apparently every couple in their group had one.
"I'm coming," I yelled back, hoping my grandfather wasn't around. He hated when we hollered throughout the house.
When I reached the door, Quinn snatched my hand in hers practically dragging me out the door. Laughing, I pushed her back telling her I would race her to her car. You guessed it, I won.
"No fair, you have extremely long legs," she complained, unlocking her new shiny midnight blue Mercedes. I swear her and Santana have the coolest lives. They own practically every new thing on the market like HD TVS, I-Pads, Mac Laptops. You name it, they have it. But Santana insisted that she's not spoiled. I beg to differ.
"So do you guys bowl often? I haven't bowled since I was seven. And I think I've managed to get a gutter ball every time," I said smiling when Quinn laughed.
That was what I liked about Santana's group. Although now I guess they're my group too now. But anyway, I like that they get my jokes.
"Don't worry nobody takes it seriously. Well accept maybe Finn. But Rachel slaps him in the head when he gets too rowdy so we're good," she said, pulling up Santana's long cobble stoned driveway.
It looked as if her parents were actually home. I've been to her house almost every day this week and each time no one was there but the two of us. Quinn looked a little hesitant to get out, but when I asked her what was up she just smiled and ushered me up the walkway. As we made our way further up, I could hear a distinct manly yell from inside. I looked to Quinn but she just put a hand on my back.
"Maybe you should wait in the car. I'll grab San and we can head out," she suggested as if I were a child, but I shook my head no.
The yelling increased as we got further up the driveway and I swear I heard a glass break. When we got to the front of the door, I could actually make out what the voice was saying and it wasn't good.
"You're a no good lying son of a bitch Santana. I told you to fill out those college applications. Didn't I? And now you're too late. What the fuck to you think you're going to do next year? Piddle around on that piano!" The voice screamed and I could see two shadowed figures in front of the door. One of them was grabbing the shirt of the other.
"Quinn what's going on?" I asked in a panic. I could see Santana struggling against what I guessed was her father right in front of me and Quinn. We were standing there as if we were watching an On Demand movie.
Quinn looked at me with sympathy. It was as if she expected this when we walked up. As if she'd seen this a million times before. Tired of witnessing my girlfriend getting attacked (verbally and physically) by her father, I did the only thing I could think of… I rang the doorbell.
The figures jumped apart immediately, her father pushing her at the door before walking away. I faintly heard him whisper to Santana what a loser she was before I was then face to face with her.
"Hey guys," she said, being her usual upbeat self. Her cheek was bright red. I stood there shocked. What was she doing? She obviously was just in an argument with her father and now she is acting as if it never happened.
"Hey ready to go?" Quinn asked.
Wait what? Was this the frigging twilight zone? I'll be damned if I act like nothing happened.
"What happened to your cheek San?" I nearly yelled, causing both of them to look behind to see if what's his name was in an ears reach.
"I ran into my bedroom door this morning. The thing's never open and I must of forgot because next thing I know, boom. I'm a bit of a klutz. You'll get use to it though," she joked and what the hell? Did she think I was a moron.
Quinn just playfully punched her arm and told us to come on. I stood there shocked for a moment before following them to Quinn's car. Santana opened the door for me before hopping in next to me.
"What am I your chauffeur now?" Quinn asked sarcastically.
"You bet your ass. Only the best for my Britty," she beamed, making me smile.
The car ride to the bowling alley was in complete silence. I think we were all in our own thoughts. Quinn obviously knew something was up with Santana and chose to ignore it. What kind of friend is that? And Santana was just staring out the window, her right hand playing with mine. The red on her cheek was slowly fading, but you could still tell it wasn't meant to be there. I didn't know what to think. Did this always happen or was Santana's dad just really pissed today or something. But the way Santana came up with that lie so fast told me she's had practice. Tonight after bowling, me and Santana were going to have a long talk….
Chapter Three
Scene Two
"Strike! Beat that suckers!" Finn cheered, flipping his cap around his head and walking proudly back to the end of the lane.
Everyone rolled their eyes including me. I was now a part of the no board game, sport, video game, basically anything you had to win club of Finn. He was so into this that the when they called my name to go, I nearly pissed myself from being nervous. But the cutest thing happened, Santana slowly snuck behind me and whispered in my ear "go get em tiger." And somehow that put my mind at ease. After a sly tap in the butt, she sat back down and grinned at the rest of his friends.
"Go Britt Britt!" Sugar yelled, cheering me on.
I lined my feet up with the dots like Santana showed me and kind of slid my feet up till I was at the stopping line at the end of the lane. Bringing my hand back, I threw the bright neon pink ball down the lane. I couldn't even bear to look so I turned away and began walking back to my seat when I heard everyone cheer. Turning around I saw that I knocked all the pins down. Santana nearly knocked me over, lifting me up and spinning around.
"I knew you could do it baby." And my mind went to mush. That was the first time anyone ever called me a pet name and I must say it felt good. Grabbing my hand, she brought us back to the connecting seats, making sure I sat on her lap. I couldn't help but smile.
"I thought you said you haven't bowled since you were seven?" she asked in a soft gentle voice, speaking so I only I could hear her.
"I was telling the truth. I guess it's just beginners luck," I said, turning to look in her chocolate eyes. That's what they reminded me of, chocolate or maybe it was coffee. Well whatever they reminded me of, I couldn't turn away from them.
"Beginners luck my aunt fanny. You're practically a pro," she teased, lightly tickling me, which caused me to squirm into a fit of giggles and then have everyone look our way.
"Can you two stop being so disgustingly cute?" Rachel joked, the rest nodding their heads in agreement.
Santana just shot her middle finger up, snuggling in closer to me. She placed a little kiss on my collar bone and that just sent shivers down my spine. I didn't get how she made me feel like this. All these years avoiding relationships and she broke through the barrier. How?
"What's going on in that pretty like head of yours hmm?" Santana mumbled against my neck where her lips were placing feather like kisses.
Santana seemed to get right away that a lot of the time I go off in my own little world. She calls it Britt Britt's World. But instead of mocking me like my mom and sister do, she just gently pulls me from my thoughts. Smiling, I snuggled up under her chin, lightly rubbing my hand up and down her arm.
"San can you break yourself away from lover girl for just a moment and give me just a bit of competition in this game?" Finn asked sarcastically, knowing Santana sucked at bowling.
"Fuck you Finnosense. I think all that drumming has permanently damaged your brain," Santana yelled. At first I thought she was joking, but when I turned and saw practically her whole head was red, I began to panic. I didn't understand what had her so worked up. She was fine a minute ago.
"You're one to talk. Why do you think your dad beats on you so much? There isn't one ounce of intelligence in that head of yours!" He fired back and before me or anyone could do anything; Santana had me off her lap in a flash, her body lounging at Finn's at warp speed. My mouth dropped at the sight of my girlfriend throwing punches at the boy nearly a foot taller than her.
"San get off!" Puck interfered, grabbing Santana who tackled Finn to the ground and was on top of him throwing fists left and right.
Santana was breathing heavily through her nose and a little blood was trickling from his lip where Finn accidentally hit her when he lifted his arm to protect his face. I tried making eye contact with Santana, but she wouldn't even look my way. I felt Quinn grab my hand, pulling me to sit back down.
"It's okay sweetie," she whispered, nodding at the sight before us.
The manager of the bowling alley came over with a pissed off look on his face. After suggesting in a not so polite way that we leave the bowling alley, I found myself here, back in Quinn's car on our way home. And just like before, it was complete silence.
Finn's words ran through my mind over and over again. 'Why do you think your dad beats on you so much?' I guess my suspicions were confirmed and I wasn't happy at all. I needed to talk to her about this. I mean how long has Santana been going through this? How bad is it? And there I go again. It's Britt Britt's World…
Chapter Three
Entry Two
Dear One but not only friend,
I'm sitting here writing to you in Santana's room. Quinn just dropped us off and Santana's parents left for the night. I still don't know how to approach the topic of what happened back at the bowling alley. Is it my business? She obviously is embarrassed by it otherwise she would tell me straight up that her dad hits her. But who would admit that anyway? Here I go rambling again. Ahhh! I don't know what to do. Great now she's pacing the floor. I don't even know if she wants me here. She hasn't said a word to me since the fight besides 'thanks baby' for holding the door for her. This is why relationships suck. This is why Brittany S. Pierce doesn't do relationships. I guess I better go.
Yours truly,
Forever Relocated
Chapter Three
Scene Three
"San what's going on?" I managed to get out. I felt so helpless and I didn't know if she would flip on me like Finn or what. Don't get me wrong. I don't think she would ever hurt me, but she does seem to have one mean temper.
Santana stopped mid pace to look at me. The look she gave makes me feel like I am the dumbest human being on the face of the earth.
"Nothing's wrong Brittany. Nothing at all. I just fucking bashed one of my best friend's boyfriend's face in and I am perfectly fine," she snarled in a sarcastic tone and I am shocked.
She had never shown this behavior with me ever. I guess my view of her being perfect was an understatement. Not having the energy or the comeback, I took the opportunity to escape. As soon as my finger's grazed the doorknob, I heard my name.
"Britt wait. I'm sorry. I'm being an asshole to you and you have been nothing but a sweetheart to me since I opened the door this afternoon. Please don't go. I promise I won't act like this anymore," she said with the most perfect puppy dog pout I've seen to date.
I didn't get this girl. One minute she's a ball of sunshine, the next she's one big anger machine, and the next she's like a five year old girl wanting to buy gummy bears at the candy shop. Following my instincts, I let go of the handle and turned back to where Santana was sitting. Taking a seat next to her, I gently grabbed her hand.
I know I know. Who would have thought I take charge, but being with Santana has given me a confidence I never knew existed in me.
"San you don't have to put on a happy face for me when you're upset. I thought we were in a relationship. You know being there for one another through the good and the bad. Well you never let me see the bad. I just want to be there for you. You can tell me anything," I told her and for the first time, she didn't meet my eyes.
"I have a hard time dealing with the bad things I guess. I'm a joy to be around when I'm happy. I guess I just try to be happy all the time so people don't have to deal with the way I am when I'm not. I'm sorry you saw what you did this morning. And I apologize for what I did at the bowling alley. I guess I'm no better than him," she said, whispering the last part more to herself then me.
I felt her hand begin to caress mine and I couldn't help but smile. Even though she was having a hell of a time trying to express herself, she was still thinking of me. She began rubbing my hand to calm my nerves and I don't think I could ask for a better girlfriend.
"San. Does your dad hit you a lot? I mean does your mom know?" I got out. I saw her wince at the words and I immediately feel bad. I shouldn't have asked that. What was I thinking?
Scooting back on the bed, she gently guided me back so we were both lying down. With her on her back and me with my head resting on her chest I wished we were lying like this under better circumstances. Her hand continued to rub up and down my back and we must have sat there for five minutes before she spoke again. I could tell she needed a moment to get the words out.
"My parents are known as Lima's happiest couple. They've been together since high school and they went to the same college. My mother's a good woman Britt. She's… She's just a good woman. I know she would do something if she could. But this is the way it's always been. Dad's upset from work and he takes it out on his kids. Dad's stock went bankrupt, he takes it out on his kids. Dad's shoes aren't placed next to the door in the spot 'their supposed to be in' dad takes it out on his kids. I'm the youngest of five and we've all been through it. I'm just taking my turn Britt. The man will never change," she told me and her voice was a shaky mess towards the end.
I could feel tears welding up in my eyes and I couldn't help but try and get even closer to Santana. I was practically on top of her just hugging the crap out of her and whispering that I'm here for her in her ear. She's such a strong person for dealing with this, for admitting it. Her hands continued to rub up and down my back and again she's the one soothing me. Why can't I soothe her? I just want to make her feel better and I don't think I'm accomplishing it.
"Don't get the wrong idea Britt. It's not that bad. He's just got a temper and unfortunately I've inherited it. I just do my best to avoid him and I only get into it with him every once and a while. It was worse when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I can fight back. Don't let this worry you baby. I'm use to it and I know how to take care of it," she whispered reassuringly into my ear, her words spoken to me as if she were dealing with a piece of precious glass.
"You shouldn't be use to it San. You shouldn't have to deal with it at all. I wish we could just run away together. I could get away from my sorry excuse of a mother and you could escape your father. I just want you to be happy Santana. Not the fake happy you were putting on before for all you friends. Real happy," I yelled and I'm not yelling at her. I'm just yelling at how angered this is making me feel.
Santana smiled. How could she be smiling at a time like this? She held my head up between her hands and gently rubbed her thumbs against my cheeks.
"You make me happy Brittany. 'Real' happy. As long as you're by my side, I don't even worry about all this other bullshit. You're all that matters," she whispered, rising off her pillows to place a tender kiss against my lips.
Her eyes once again reeled me in. I can't believe how much I feel for her. I've never cared about anything till I met Santana. I never had anything to care about. I was just a lonely girl dragged in her mother's footsteps. But Santana made me whole again. She made me want to live.
I didn't know how to respond to what she just told me so I just placed my lips back over hers. When all else fails, kiss. Santana smiled against my lips and I think it's because she knew that I'm touched by what she had said. That's what I like about her. I don't have to say everything. She just knew. But on the contrary, I needed her to say what she felt or what she was thinking. I didn't have the 'talent' of just knowing. I needed the play by play.
Anyway, her hold on me began to tighten as her tongue swiped against my bottom lip. I had definitely improved in this department. Santana said so herself the other night. That thought alone made me smile which in turn made her smile. This was nice. It felt good to be like this after the serious talk we had just moments earlier. But at least now she knows I'm in this for the long run and she can come to me with her problems. She doesn't need to put up a front with me.
My eyes flew open when I felt her gently push me off her and roll me over so now she was on top of me. The kiss never broke and as soon as I was safely back on the bed, my eyes slid closed. Things were going good until I felt her begin to push her hips against mine, a tiny grunt escaping her lips. A grunt. I haven't heard a grunt yet and I was bit weirded out.
Why does life have to be so complicated. Yup you guessed it. We haven't done this yet. It's been strictly kissing. So do I stop her? Is this really that bad? With all these thoughts running through my head I didn't even notice that Santana stopped kissing me and was looking down at me worriedly.
"Are you okay?" she aseds, her eyes showing concern.
"Sorry. I'm just. I just… I've never done this before. I mean I've done it before. Just not with anyone else," I admit stupidly and it only made her laugh.
"Baby if I'm making you uncomfortable I'll stop. I just thought you were into it. That's all," she told me sweetly, her hand once again stroking my cheek.
"I didn't say I wanted you to stop. I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck it up," I whispered and my self confidence was once again sky rocketing south of the border.
"Britt you think too much. I'm not going to laugh at you. I care about you and you care about me. We are going to see each other at our finest and at our worst. You've already seen me in a situation I was embarrassed about. You can't be perfect all the time. So don't worry about what happens when we do stuff like this. Sometimes it's going to be great, sometimes it's going to be shitty. But the thing that will always remain are the feelings we have for one another. If you're not ready that's one thing, but if you're just scared of what I think, that's where you have to turn off the thoughts in your head and just go with what you feel. Because the chances are that I'm feeling what you are. Okay," she whispered, her lips touching mine again.
I slid my eyes closed as my head nodded to her response. I placed my lips right back where they belong, on hers. All my thoughts and worries were put at ease just by her voice, her words, her touch. Her hips pressed back into mine and I knew why god made me wait so long for all this. He wanted me to find Santana Lopez. My soul mate…