"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." - James M. Barrie
Chapter 3: Castle of Rust
Time's face went ashen as he turned to her. "We must get you to the Chronosphere immediately."
Alice nodded and followed him as he hurried down the corridor. They came out to the main chamber, and Time proceeded onto one of the walkways and climbed up some stairs to a viewing platform. His eyes darted from left to right, scanning the vast area.
"I don't think that's excess steam," Alice pointed out as she joined him. She could just barely make out the various clockwork parts that kept the whole place ticking. Only the light of the Grand Clock stood out in the fog. It gave out a golden hue amongst the grey. Instinctively, Alice reached into her pocket and clutched her pocket watch. Something definitely wasn't right.
"I cannot see her. Come on," Time beckoned. He stopped short halfway down the stairs, clutching his head with both hands. Judging by his facial expression, it looked to be quite an intense pain.
"You didn't have those headaches before you left this castle, did you?" Alice asked, clearing her throat.
Time shook his head as he rubbed his temples. The pain had disappeared as quickly as it had come. "No. Are you experiencing them as well?"
"Yes," Alice said. He knitted his brows as she observed the grand interior carefully. "The only thing that's different about this place is that there is fog everywhere. So, I think it must be the fog that's doing it."
"And what is it doing to us?"
"Well," Alice began. "Along with the headaches, I think it's affecting the both of us. I've noticed -"
"Actually, it doesn't matter," Time stated impatiently with a wave of his hand. "We're wasting me."
Case in point, Alice thought bitterly. He started up again and led the way as Alice silently trailed behind him.
After a few minutes of walking, they finally ascended the staircase that would take them to the Grand Clock. But when they reached the top, they spotted a figure in front of the massive structure with their back turned. Motionless on the floor beside them, was the remnants of a fallen Minute.
"I don't like to be kept waiting. I've done too much of it for one lifetime," Chaos said, spinning around to face them. Alice could hear some of Time's gears grind to a halt.
Chaos' cloaked frame was engulfed by the sheer enormity of the clock's face. Its golden glow illuminated her outline, but painted her in deep shadow.
Time quickly stepped in front of Alice and turned his back to Chaos. "Go," he whispered. "I will stay here and distract her long enough for you to take the Chronosphere. Once you have it, make your way to the throne room. There will be a pool of water waiting to take you back to your -"
Before he could finish, he grunted in pain. He clawed at his hat and yanked it off. It made a loud thunk as it fell to the floor.
"Are you all right?" Alice asked with a sharp gasp.
"Fetch the Chronosphere and leave now. I will not ask you twice," Time commanded.
"But -"
"Now, Alice!" Time felt his voice raise involuntarily and winced. It should have been the last thing on his mind, but becoming like his former dearest invaded his thoughts. Her quick rise to anger was something he despised - even though he loved her dearly. Then, like a clock striking the next hour with a loud wail, it clicked. Perhaps Alice was right. Perhaps something was affecting him… Or someone.
Before he could express his delayed revelation, Alice had already begun to move cautiously towards the Grand Clock. She passed by Chaos, whose golden eyes never left Time. Thankful for that, Alice reached one of the tiny arches underneath the clock without resistance and looked back. Time wasn't meeting Chaos' menacing gaze. He had his head hung low.
Alice sighed. It was too late for a goodbye, so she would have to treat their earlier farewell to each other as their final one. She squeezed through the arch and out of sight.
"Once I have dealt with you, I will deal with her too. There is nowhere she can go where I cannot find her," Chaos sneered.
Time's eyes were alight as he finally looked up from his boots. He had once said that to Alice. And yet, Alice had proved him wrong.
XXX
The past seemed to be blending with the present for Alice. Here she was, once again, leaning against the metal railing, steeling herself to leap across a bottomless pit and latch onto a large swinging pendulum. All this effort in the hopes of snatching up the Chronosphere and leaving Underland in one piece.
She took a deep breath and jumped.
One foot met thin air as she landed, causing her to slip off the pendulum. As she fell, her hands flung out just in time to grab hold of the circular base.
"Oh dear," Alice gasped. Her legs dangled uselessly underneath her as she held on for dear life.
She steadied her breathing, gathering the strength needed to pull herself up. When she finally did manage to get her footing on the base, her muscles felt like they had been torn clean off of her bones.
Right. One pendulum down, five to go…
XXX
"You used my own seeds of life against me in your escape."
Time's moustache twitched. "And you have been manipulating my emotions."
"Not manipulating, just augmenting them. Everything that you felt was already inside of you," Chaos explained, matter-of-factly. "You see, when I first emerged from my prison, the Underlings did not warm up to me very well. I released my fog upon them in an attempt to draw out their love for their new ruler… but it only made things worse."
"So instead you have forced them to be your mindless puppets?" Time said in disgust.
Ignoring him, Chaos continued. "They hate me. To them, I am a burden on their lives. I am an unspeakable evil. They think this even after everything that I have done for them! I gave them life!"
"You cannot make someone love you," Time stated quietly.
Chaos shook her head in bewilderment. "But they love you. You thrust upon them a part of yourself, and in turn, they are a slave to you."
Time snorted. "They do not love me either. They thought they had to race me. They thought that I was a thief - that I take, and never give. They feared me! And the few that did not? They wished to use me for their personal gain! I am as much alone as you are."
"Then they all must die."
"Certainly not!" Time exclaimed, giving her an exasperated look. "No one deserves to have their time stolen from them."
"Never mind what they deserve. Do you know what we deserve? Their respect."
Time pinched the bridge of his nose. It was like he had hopped into the Chronosphere and travelled all the way back to when he had last confronted her. The conversation had boiled down to too much order, and not enough respect.
"Do you not agree?" Chaos prodded.
"…yes, I agree."
"Then why do you defend them if I am right?"
"A broken clock is bound to be correct - even if it is only for a minute. Yes, we deserve their respect. But I agree with you only on that. We are not here to rule, we are here to simply keep the universe ticking," Time stated.
Disappointed, Chaos shook her head. "You have always been a fool, settling for less."
"And you have always been delusional, expecting more than you deserve."
XXX
Landing on the slowly turning gear, Alice made her way to the centre. She was within arm's reach of the glowing orb that was responsible for powering the universe when she paused.
This was it. From this moment onwards, there was no turning back.
Alice inhaled deeply. Then, much to her heart's protests, she extended her hand over the furiously spinning Chronosphere. The heat generated was enough to almost burn her palm as she snatched it up. A mournful bell chimed, and one last bolt of energy shot down the centre of the gear and into the bowels of the enormous clockwork.
XXX
Time fell to his knees, clutching his chest as an electric current ran through him.
"Giving up already? We haven't even begun yet," Chaos jeered. Behind her, the Grand Clock went into a frenzy.
Through his laboured breaths, he let out a hearty chuckle. "Your time is up."
XXX
As Alice ran along the walkway, she could see from across the gigantic interior the light of the Grand Clock dimming. One of the face's glass panes had also fractured. There were no Seconds left to keep it going now, meaning Alice had little time to make her escape. But even with that daunting thought, Alice found that she couldn't tear her gaze away. Her gut twisted into knots as she spotted Chaos in front of the Grand Clock. She was the only one left standing.
Time had fallen.
Chaos peered down at Time, who knelt at her feet with his chin resting on his chest. Suddenly, she bent over to grab Time's jaw. She anchored his head so he was gazing up at her. But their eyes did not meet. Instead, Time's eyes widened as they locked on to a now unmoving Alice.
Chaos snapped something inaudible at Time, then followed his line of sight.
Alice felt a chill run down her spine as Chaos' hungry eyes landed on her. Even though she was across the gigantic room, there was no mistaking that devious smile.
Shoving Time to the floor, Chaos extended her arms away from her body and craned her head upwards. Her pupils dilated outwards, consuming her eyes until they were pitch black. While she held her position, all the fog in the room began to stir as if a breeze had started up. It started to cluster around Chaos and swirl upwards. The fog went from grey to black as it picked up speed, circulating higher and higher above the deity.
Then, it stopped.
Alice stole a quick glance around her. She could now clearly see the vast interior of the castle. But what on earth was that great big ball of gas that now hovered menacingly in the air above Chaos?
Before Alice could even finish that thought, it plunged downwards as a stream, and straight into Chaos' open mouth. Smoke began to overflow, obscuring her face, then her entire body.
Alice let out a sharp gasp. It was probably time to run.
She bolted down the rest of the walkway, refusing to look behind her. As she hit a junction, she realised she hadn't the foggiest idea how to get back to the throne room. It was easy enough to find the Grand Clock; it stood out amongst the clockwork, walkways, and platforms that populated the cavernous room. But to find the rooms that were tucked away… that was something she needed time - and Time himself - for.
Come on, Alice. Think! Was it near the rooms with the pocket watches?
She roughly knew where that was - and it was her best bet.
Alice's footsteps echoed loudly around her as she ducked into a corridor. As she ran, out of the corner of her eye she spotted a dark trail of gas racing beside her. It zipped out past her and pooled up ahead. Alice stopped herself before she ran straight through it. As she began to backpedal, the gas lurched upwards, morphing into a human form.
Chaos had materialised directly in front of her.
"You have upheld your end of our arrangement, Alice. So it is only fair that I now deliver my promise to you."
Alice let the hand she held the Chronosphere with slide behind her back. "Stay away from me."
"The Chronosphere?" Chaos let out a bark of laughter. "Give that to me before you do something stupid."
"You cannot change the past," Alice warned, taking a few steps back.
Chaos scowled. "I know that, you silly child." She then took a few steps forwards. "But if you are planning on leaving, then you are forgetting something."
"What?"
"Me."
Alice had heard enough. She spun on her heel and took off in the opposite direction. But Chaos had already dissolved. The gas made its way in front of Alice and arranged itself into the outline of a person once more.
"It is rude to leave a conversation part-way through without excusing oneself first," Chaos' smoky form rasped.
"My apologies. Please, excuse me," Alice replied, sarcasm weaving its way through her voice. As she went to run, she found her boots to be quite heavy. It was as if they were filled to the brim with sand. She looked down and paled.
Some of the smoke that had passed her earlier was slowly seeping through the fabric of her boots and pants.
"During my conversation with Time, I realised something… I must start again. A new beginning… in a new world."
"A new world?" Alice repeated, struggling to keep the panic from her voice.
"Yes. Your old one. As much as I would enjoy killing you - and making that pathetic excuse of a being of time be witness to it - you continue to be useful to me, Alice. You will be the vessel that brings me to your world," Chaos explained, while her cold, dead eyes skimmed over Alice.
More smoke oozed out of her and onto the obsidian floor. Alice's eyes widened as it made its way towards her.
She's going to possess me!
The sickening thought was enough for her adrenaline to finally kick in. It surged through her veins, and Alice managed to get her limbs moving and pull away from the smoke.
The goal was to head in the general direction of the Underlandian's Living and Deceased rooms, but Chaos had made that task difficult. Alice's sense of direction had been jumbled up, and she found that there was no time to get her bearings. Her prime concern now was the wisps of black smoke nipping at her heels, like a venomous serpent relentlessly hunting its prey.
"You cannot run from me! There's a teeny tiny bit of me already inside of you now!" Chaos sung, her sickly-sweet voice echoing through the halls.
Alice struggled to breathe as she went down a familiar corridor. Even adrenaline couldn't hold off whatever Chaos was doing to her. Her limbs grew heavier and heavier as more smoke seeped into her. With the amount of effort moving took for Alice, she was surprised to find that she was not overheating. A bitter cold had a hold of her, strangling whatever warmth her body tried to produce.
Up ahead, a bright white light shone through one of the doorways. Even though it was not that far, it appeared to be miles away. Alice was now forced to do a sluggish hobble, closing the distance between her and the light inch by inch. And in what she felt to be a second of eternity, Alice could hear nothing but the sound of her heart keeping time with her feet.
My heart is slowing.
It should be beating much faster than this.
I'm not going to make it to the throne room.
Chaos will have me well before then.
As she got close to the light, the dreadful thoughts that bombarded her mind were silenced. An elated feeling began to bubble inside of her. There was no more icy chill either. She felt warm and fuzzy all over - something she hadn't experienced since -
I call this the Room of Remembrance, Time's voice rang inside her head. If you or any other Underling were to step inside, you would be lost deep within your own pleasant memories.
Alice stopped just outside of the room, blinking rapidly to get her eyes adjusted to the brightness. As she stared into the empty whiteness, she realised that she didn't care that her limbs now felt like dead weight. She didn't care that the last of the smoke was now soaking into her, working its way through her body to find and seize her heart. At that very moment, all she cared about was being happy. But as of late, it was difficult to feel anything even remotely close to happiness. Alice was always exhausted. Sleepless nights haunted her each day, marking her with dark circles and bloodshot eyes. Whenever she did manage to find sleep, it came after a hefty amount of tossing and turning, wondering, contemplating, and producing what-ifs in her mind. She thought up scenarios that always led to happy endings to make up for her dreamless nights. For three years, she endured this self-inflicted torture. Fantasies and the off-chance of returning to Underland were the only things keeping her afloat. The former, Alice knew, was what it was: just a fantasy. The dead could never be brought back. But Underland wasn't a fantasy, it was her last crutch - her last source of happiness - and now it too would be taken from her.
At least now, she could take one last indulgence in happiness before her mind and body were ripped away from her forever.
I'm sorry, Alice mentally apologised to Time, then to everyone else in Underland. She scrunched her eyes tightly, and, with her last remaining strength, threw herself into the white room.
It was as if a great weight had been lifted from her. She had almost forgotten what that felt like.
Somewhere along the floor ahead of her, Alice heard the clattering of some metallic items. In her dive, the Chronosphere must have fallen out of her pocket. But she paid no mind to the fact that it did not morph into a large time-machine. Instead, she beamed at the whiteness around her, relishing in its comfort. As she picked herself up from the floor and looked back, she found that the door she had entered from was no longer there. In its place was what looked to be a very old, winter-ridden tree. It stood alone, and towered over Alice as she approached it. Before she could graze her hand over the grey bark, a small voice echoed from behind her.
"Alice! Are you even listening to me?"
Alice swung around to find herself eye-level with a young girl. She was dressed in a neat puffy-sleeved dress and let her long golden hair fall onto her back. A freshly-picked rose also jutted out from behind her ear. Past the girl was a riverbank and grey sky that had replaced the empty white.
"You were ignoring me again, weren't you?" her sister Margaret said. With arms tightly crossed, and one hand hanging onto an open book, Margaret gave her a nasty scowl. Alice realised she must have drowned out her sister while reading her boring book aloud.
"Girls! Come along now, it's going to rain! I don't want either of you to catch a cold!" a distant voice that sounded very much like her mother called. Margaret reached up to pull out the rose that was in her hair and used the stem as a bookmark. She then scuttled off, but Alice did not follow. Instead, she opted to watch the clouds slowly roll in. Observing a storm was something she loved to do. She always wondered what it would be like to be one. Could she be as loud as thunder? Could she be as fast as the wind? As Alice daydreamed, from across the lake appeared a very distressed man. Alice's eyes immediately landed upon him, and she cocked her head slightly. The man was dressed in blacks and greys, and what he wore was very peculiar indeed. He had shoulder pads as large as she was tall, making him look like an hour glass. His black hair was also tightly wound in a bun.
The mysterious man quickly rounded the lake and approached her.
"Is your name Alice?" he asked, kneeling down to be eye level. Alice nodded vigorously. It was always a delight when people wanted to speak with her. Everyone at school thought her to be odd, and as such, no one ever wanted to talk or be friends. Perhaps this man was one of her father's business friends?
"Your clothes are pretty, but too dark. You can't have both. Or can you? I must ask my sister," rattled Alice.
"Alice! Alice?" Her mother was now battling the whistling winds to be heard.
"Alice, listen to me carefully. This is a memory that you are reliving. You must take my hand, and come with me."
Out of the corner of Alice's eye, Margaret came bounding back over a shallow hill. "Alice! I'm telling mother you ignored me!" she teased.
"I have to go," Alice mumbled in annoyance. "I don't want to get into trouble again."
"No! Wait!" Time began, but Alice had already run off.
XXX
Alice stopped skipping. Ahead was a clearing, and a very large table. On the ornate plates were all sorts of colourful cakes and delicious treats. Her stomach rumbled at the sight. She had been peckish all day, and had refused to eat the gigantic mushrooms she encountered in these strange woods. The mushrooms made her grow tiny and large, and were quite disgusting.
As she got closer, she realised there was company seated. A dormouse lay sleeping in a very small chair that was stacked atop many books, which sat on a normal-sized wooden chair. Across from her was a very nerve-wracked rabbit, examining the saucer and cup in front of him with only his frantic eyes. Finally, seated at the head of the table in a very tall, cushiony armchair, was a rather strangely-dressed man. It was only fitting though, that the person who sat in the tallest seat was the one who wore the tallest hat. He hummed a tune that Alice wasn't familiar with, but stopped when he saw her walking towards the table.
"Hello," Alice greeted. "Are you having a tea party?"
The hatted man's green eyes lit up with curiosity, but he didn't move an inch.
"We most certainly are! Would you like to join us?" he replied with a toothy grin.
"Oh, yes please! I'm quite hungry, actually."
"Of course you are," he nodded, watching with an expectant stare as Alice slid into a cushiony seat at the far end of the table. Once seated, she reached for a nearby pastry and hungrily munched on it.
"What is your name?" He almost sounded hesitant to ask.
"Alice," she replied between mouthfuls. Even though the pastry was quite stale, it still hit the spot.
"Alice? Alice! The Alice!?" he cried, much to her shock. Why would he be so excited about her name? Had they met before? She watched as he cautiously lifted himself off of his chair, expecting something terrible to happen. When nothing did, his lips formed into a wide smile. "Yippee! Mally, old girl! Wake up! Thackery, old chum! Up we hop now! We can move again! We're free! We're free!"
"Wasstha?" the dormouse mumbled, still half asleep.
"Oh dear…" Alice muttered as the hatted man leapt up onto the table and pranced over to where she was sitting. With each step he took, cups and saucers clanged together, and bits and pieces of food flew off of their platters.
"Time said that until you join us, it will always be one minute to tea-time!" He then bounced off the table and plopped himself in the seat next to her. "But you're here now!"
"Tea-time! Forever no more!" the rabbit cheered, rocking back and forth in his seat. "Now, who wants some tea? It is tea-time, after all."
"Who might you all be, then?" Alice inquired, letting the puzzling statements made fly over her head.
"Oh, pardon me! I seem to have let my manners slip with Time," he chortled. Both the dormouse and rabbit gave him a wicked glare. The hatted man then promptly spun around to point at them. "That rabbit there is Thackery Earwicket, and that dormouse there is Mallymkun."
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," said Alice, parroting what she had heard her parents say whenever they met new people. She gave a polite smile to the mouse and rabbit, then turned her attention back to the man. "And who are you?"
"He's Tarrant Hightopp, of course! But you can call him the Hatter if you really want." The rabbit then leant in with such intensity to stage whisper to her. "Be careful though, he's a bit… mad."
The Hatter, seemingly outraged, slammed his fists on the table, causing more saucers and cups to fly in the air. He then pointed an accusatory finger at Thackery. "Not as mad as you are!"
"Oh yes! Very mad we are!" Thackery giggled, then sat back down to pour tea into his already filled cup.
What strange company, Alice thought. Although, she didn't mind really. They were much more entertaining than anyone else she had ever met at a tea party.
After a few minutes observing the three stuffing their faces like there was no tomorrow, Alice mustered up the courage to ask a burning question. "So, where am I?"
"My mill of a house," Thackery replied.
"No, what is this place called?" Alice asked, shaking her head and pointing to the colourful flora around her.
"The Tulgey Woods?" Mallymkun answered.
Alice shook her head again, this time more vigorously. "I've grown really tall, and shrunk really small. I've seen a grin with no cat, and I've made a sea with my own tears. Animals talk, and wear pretty clothes. What crazy, mad world am I in?"
"Oh! You're in Underland, of course!" Hatter exclaimed.
"Wonderland? What a peculiar name."
Alice may have misheard the name, but the Hatter was not about to correct her anytime soon. Instead, he beamed. "Yes, yes. I suppose it is a bit of a wondrous place!"
She then examined all the food on the table, deciding what to pick next. However, her eyes landed on a flower arrangement filled with decaying roses. Along with the stale food, she thought it quite odd indeed. Why would a tea party have stale food and yucky flowers?
"And… how long has this tea party been going on for?" Alice finally inquired.
Everyone abruptly stopped what they were doing. A cup even hit its saucer a bit too harshly. The three all exchanged nervous glances. Hatter took the mouse's shrug and the rabbit's ear-pulling as a satisfactory answer and turned to Alice.
"We're not quite sure, actually. It could be years for all we know!" he exclaimed.
The party all simultaneously erupted into a laughing fit. Alice wanted to be part of whatever joke he made too, so giggled along.
Suddenly, Thackery let out a shriek of pure terror as he pointed to the tree line. "It's him! He's back! He's back!"
They all swung around on their seats to see a newcomer step out into the clearing.
"Stay back, blighter! Or I'll have ya!" Mallymkun roared, drawing a sharp blade from her belt. Thackery dove under the table, and the Hatter stood abruptly from his seat. He rushed over to Alice just as the man approached the tea party.
"Alice! Please, do not be alarmed. You must come with me. Quickly now!" the stranger beckoned to her.
"She most certainly will not come with you!" the Hatter declared. He then turned to Alice, fear filling his maddening eyes. "Run, before Time traps you in a never ending loop!"
"Excuse me?" Time blurted. A look of bewilderment crossed his weary face as his eyes glided over the tea-party.
"Is he gone yet? I can't hear anything," came Thackery's muffled voice from somewhere underneath the table.
"Oh, I remember now," Time said sheepishly. "No, I am not here to cause trouble. I came for -"
Something nagged at her to stay put. To listen to what the man had to say. But fear had gotten the better of her. Alice darted away into the woods, glancing over her shoulder to catch one last glimpse at the most interesting tea party she had ever attended.
"Alice? Alice!"
XXX
Alice came to a halt, huffing and puffing. She gave herself one last check and straightened the corset that threatened to crush her lungs. Perhaps it wasn't the brightest idea to run while wearing it, but she was going to be late otherwise. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out from the hedge maze, taking care not to step on the roses by the entrance. Thankfully, she had arrived just in time, as Lord Ascot was about to make a toast. He had always made delightful toasts, and was perhaps the only friendly face here.
Every year, the Ascots would throw a garden party. And for the past couple of years, Alice would be pestered by men at the party believing themselves to be worthy of the Kingsleigh name. She had just turned 18 - a prime age to accept proposals should they come her way. At least, that's what her mother had told her. Marry young and marry well, she had said, and you'll certainly live a happy life.
We're so different from each other, we even have different definitions of 'happy', Alice thought bitterly. She wanted to say that during the carriage ride over, as her mother had said a version of the marry well speech, but she was in no mood to argue. So, as soon as the carriage doors opened, Alice had stormed out. But she knew she had to return eventually to the gathering.
Alice quietly ducked over to the table her mother and sister were sat at. She took her seat, avoiding Helen's acidic glare as she directed her attention to the Ascots' table. The toast was made to commemorate the success of the Ascots' business, as well as the coming of age of their son, Hamish. Once that was done, Lord Ascot had prompted everyone to commence dancing. Alice stayed seated at her table however, and soon enough, the pestering began.
During a one-sided conversation with a man her mother had introduced her to, Alice's eyes wandered around the party. They landed on a rather tall man by the dancing couples, who was dressed in clothes Alice had never seen before. He also sported a moustache and bushy mutton chops, along with having his dark hair in a bun. Alice abruptly excused herself from whatever boring tale was being told to her to approach the uniquely dressed patron.
"Pardon me, but that's quite the outfit, sir," Alice remarked. To Time's surprise, the comment was not made in mockery, but with a hint of awe.
He bowed. "Thank you."
"It's much more interesting than what everyone else is wearing."
"Are you Alice?" Time asked, although the question had no substance to it.
"It seems as if you already know the answer to that," Alice said with a smile. It quickly faded, however, when she noticed her mother frantically apologising to the man she had left. "I assume you must know me because of my mother. You see, she's on a quest to find me a husband."
"A husband? Now why would you of all people need one of those?" Time observed Alice's stunned expression with amusement. He had no idea of the workings of her world, but nonetheless, he would try the more subtle approach of calmly conversing with her. Hopefully it would triumph over his more urgent method.
"I've been told it's not proper otherwise. That, and apparently you will suffer a fate similar to my Aunt Imogene," Alice explained with a huff. Time grimaced. He did not want to press her further. It was all a bit too confusing for him, anyway. He turned his attention back to the dancers. In this moment, they were nothing but colours swaying and twirling, moving in time to the soft melody in the air. He itched to join them, as he had not danced in forever. But this was a memory, conjured by a slowly fading consciousness. Somehow, he had to get to the point without scaring her off again.
"Do you know who I am?"
"I'm terribly sorry, but I don't. I - I feel as if I should, though."
"My name is -"
"Alice? There you are!" Helen exclaimed, making a beeline for her. "I've been looking everywhere for you! I have news. Hamish has taken quite interest in you as of late -"
"Mother, I'm speaking to this gentleman here. He was about to introduce himself," Alice cut in, gesturing to Time. Helen gave him a look of disdain as she fell silent.
Time was oblivious to her reaction as he resumed his introduction. "I am Time. The infinite and immortal."
Helen blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"I am a being that resides in a void of infinity. In a castle of -"
"Come, Alice. You don't need any more silly ideas in your head," Helen snapped, and grabbed Alice by the arm.
Not willing to let Alice slip away from her again, Time quickly jumped in. "We are in the Room of Remembrance, Alice."
Alice's brows furrowed. "A room? But we're outside -"
"No, we are in a castle in Underland. Where Chaos -"
"We really should be going now," Helen interrupted once more. She tugged at Alice's arm, but her daughter stayed rooted to the spot.
Underland is lost, Alice. There is only one thing left to do.
Alice flinched. Was that a voice in her head? It certainly wasn't her own. Did this voice have a name? She looked at the strange man in front of her. Was it his name?
"I-I…" was all she could say. Something began to gnaw at her brain. An image forced its way to her eyes, but was too blurry to discern. A stream of words sat on the tip of her tongue, but were unable to be said. What was happening to her?
"Please. All I ask is for a moment to explain," he pleaded.
A moment can be fleeting, or can be everlasting. Which will it be?
Her breath hitched in her throat. It was definitely his voice in her head. They had most certainly met before, but where?
"Alice, are you really trusting this - this ridiculously dressed man?" her mother said while shaking her head in disbelief. Alice turned her attention back to Helen, and a strange feeling came over her. She felt something that wasn't there before, but… what was it? There was a tightening of her lungs. Tears threatening to stream down her cheeks. A twinge in her heart.
You see, all things eventually come to an end.
Her mother's lips were moving, but Alice couldn't hear her anymore. Instead, she gazed intently at Helen's face, as if there was a possibility of never seeing it again. She noted every wrinkle on her skin, every greying strand of hair on her head, and every shade of red in her cheeks. But as she finally reached her mother's eyes… her mother's cold, dead eyes…
"Alice? Are you alright?" Helen asked, slightly panicked. She moved to grab her daughter's hands, but as her bony fingers made contact, Alice pulled away.
"You're not my mother," Alice managed.
Helen looked as if she had just been slapped. "Excuse me?"
"You're not Helen Kingsleigh. You're not my mother!" Alice yelled, stepping away from her. Helen immediately latched onto her wrists.
"How dare you!"
Alice cried out as Helen's grip tightened. Her mother's hands were as cold as metal. If she didn't know any better, she could have very well mistaken them for chains cutting off her circulation.
"Stop - " Time began but found himself unable to move.
"You're not real," Alice croaked. "I only see my mother when my eyes are closed."
Helen's face twisted into a hideous look of hatred. "You killed me, Alice! It was all your fault! You killed me!"
Alice's heart stopped.
Over and over, her mother continued to repeat the sentence, and each time she said it, it felt like Alice was being whipped with a searing hot lash.
"Don't listen! Ali-" Time was cut off. Alice tried to see if he was alright, but found that he had disappeared. Helen had also vanished into thin air.
Suddenly, the light of the sky went out - and was replaced by swirling blacks and greys. Heavy rain fell, as if the heavens themselves had opened up and poured out every single tear shed for its inhabitants. Alice was immediately flung forwards, and managed to grab onto a thick wooden railing that had appeared in front of her. A bolt of lightning ripped through the sky, lighting up the shroud of darkness. For a moment, Alice could see her surroundings clearly. She was on the Wonder.
"No…" she breathed. Her knuckles whitened as she clutched the slippery wood. "This isn't real. This isn't real…"
The shouts and cries of the crew were swallowed by the roar of thunder above, and by the waves hammering relentlessly against the ship's hull. But one frantic voice managed to come through.
"Alice, I must insist that you come inside."
Alice spun around to see her mother emerge from within the cabin. She had not even been out a second and she was already drenched from head to toe.
This was her mother - her real mother - and this was the last time she saw her.
Before Alice could even get a word in, her own voice rung loudly in her ears. Mother, this ship won't survive the night if I hide away in my cabin. The crew needs me out here.
"No!" Alice desperately tried to drown out the voice with her own words. "Mother, please stay inside. Promise me that you will!"
Helen continued, as if she didn't hear her. "This is the worst storm I've seen yet. The crew are scared out of their wits! Please, Alice. I just want you to be safe."
No one is ever safe. Now, I must ensure that we come out of this storm in one piece. Go back inside.
"Don't listen! I'm coming inside, so just stay in the cabin," Alice begged. Oh, why did she have to foolishly feel like her captaincy was threatened by her own mother?
Helen stormed past Alice, moving away from the cabin doors and marching up the stairs to the quarter-deck. It looked as if she was chasing a ghost. "Alice! Get back here this instant! Don't walk away from your mother!"
Go back inside!
"What kind of mother would I be if I couldn't keep you safe? At least let me help out here!"
You're too old for this, mother. Now that I think of it, I shouldn't have brought you on this journey. You would have been better off behind a desk back in -
"Brace yourselves!" the first mate bellowed. The shadowy figures around Alice had scrambled to latch themselves onto a fixed object. Helen, however, was still on the stairs, gobsmacked at what had been said to her.
Mother!
"Mother!" Alice screamed. A gigantic wave had slammed straight into the side of the ship. The wash towered high into the air, and came crashing down onto the deck with the force of a thousand angry Gods.
When the water finally cleared, Helen Kingsleigh was gone.
Alice ran a shaky hand through her soaked hair.
She'd fallen off.
The gaping hole in Alice's heart had grown even wider. Tears began to blend in with the rain streaming down her face. She didn't even feel her knees hit the wooden floor as she hugged herself and started to wail.
It's true. She's gone and it's all because of me. It's all my fault.
"There is nothing left for you. Not in your world, and not in Underland," Chaos whispered into her ear. "But, you and I… we could start anew in your world. There would be no more worries, no more struggles, and most importantly," Chaos moved to stand in front of Alice and placed a hand on her wet cheek. "No more tears."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Alice cried. Trembling, she managed to look up at Chaos' shadowy face.
"I may have a hold of your physical body, but I am simply a visitor in your dwindling mind. You must let down your guard completely to allow me in," Chaos explained. "With all of these memories, you would not think of it as an issue. But alas, there are still walls to break down. Make this easy for me, Alice. Embrace me, and you will never have to feel anything ever again. I promise you this."
Alice wanted nothing more than to accept the offer. After all, Chaos was right. She had truly lost everything, and it was all her fault. She had abandoned her friends, and she had been responsible for her own mother's death. What was even more sickening was that she had mentally blocked out the latter.
How can I go on, when I know that I will never be happy again? Alice thought miserably.
A momentary break in the clouds let the moon shine through, making the wet deck glisten. Alice was on the verge of giving her consent when the moonlight hit something metallic on the ground. Her eyes were automatically drawn to it, and she began to crawl towards the shiny object.
It was her own pocket watch.
Gingerly, she picked it up and opened it. The glass face bore a large crack that was similar to a spider's web, but the hands still seemed to tick on underneath.
You never did tell me what happened to your father's watch. I thought you said you were going to have it fixed?
Alice's breath hitched. It was her mother's voice. Not surprisingly, she was battling to be heard through all the turmoil in her mind.
"I passed it on to a friend of mine," Alice replied, deciding to talk along with the memory. She smiled through her tears as she did so. "It's in good hands now."
Speaking of good hands, the Wonder is still in fabulous shape - and has even managed to touch almost every corner of the globe without major incident. Your father would be so proud of you, Alice. Just as I am.
"He'd be proud of the both of us. We've accomplished so much together, mother." Even as Alice plucked those words from her memory, she still spoke it with conviction.
We have indeed. But, I would never have even dreamed of doing such a thing if it wasn't for you.
"Oh, surely not?"
I'm serious. Don't ever change, Alice. I want you to go off and change the world instead - just as you have changed me. I love you, dear, and I always will.
"I'll always love you too, mother. I won't let you down," Alice breathed, clutching the pocket watch tightly against her chest.
That conversation - Alice remembered very clearly - was had aboard the Wonder in the Captain's quarters. Sunlight streamed in through the large windows at the stern of the ship while the pair had morning tea. Alice went to check her watch for the time, prompting Helen's remark about her father's watch. Then, as Helen gleefully and sincerely rambled on, Alice began to fill up with pride. Her mother had changed so much from when Alice was a young woman. In the end, she had believed in Alice when no one else did.
A fire began to start in her heart as the Mad Tea Party flickered before her eyes.
No, that wasn't quite true. In her own world, her mother was the only one who believed in her. In Underland, her friends all believed in her. They thought she could slay a dragon, and they thought she could turn back the hands of time and save the Mad Hatter and his family. She thought it impossible at first, but they were right.
She couldn't give up on them now.
"Who were you speaking to just then?" Chaos asked with slight amusement.
"My mother."
Chaos let out a dry chuckle. "Denial. It is truly a fickle of a thing. It only protects you for so long before the walls come tumbling down. Your mother is dead. Your precious Underland is lost. These are both facts. So, let us wrap this up quickly. Say yes, and I will save you from those crumbling walls."
Alice looked Chaos directly in the eye as she stood up. "No. I don't need to be saved. I was a fool to let grief consume me for so long. I was also a fool to let you take advantage of that."
"Grief? My dear, you have guilt and grief all mixed up. Guilt is a killer - something that you and it have in common."
Alice shook her head. "Never again will I allow myself to forget what happened that night. It was a grave mistake. But, I will not let it rule over me. Mother wouldn't have wanted that. She would have wanted me to go on and live out a long and happy life."
"Don't be so foolish. The past will not be kind to you, and it will never be done with you," Chaos warned.
"Time can be kind as well as cruel. I understand that the past might not be done with me yet, but right now, I need to be done with it. For myself, for my friends, and for Underland. So let. Me. Go," Alice growled. Her whole body felt like it was on fire as she forced those last words out of her mouth.
"What?! No!" Chaos shrieked, her voice piercing through Alice's skull.
The swirling clouds and hammering rain quickly disappeared. The booming clap of the waves and the roaring thunder became silent. The Wonder was long gone, and Alice found herself surrounded by stark white once more. Her legs buckled and she collapsed to the floor. She looked down in time to see the last of the dark smoke seep out of her body and pool in front of her.
"No…" Chaos' meek voice came from the clump of smoke as it started to reform into a human shape. Cloudy black gas turned to pale white skin, and Chaos spun around frantically. "Where is the exit? Please! I cannot stay in here!"
Her eyes then landed on the Chronosphere, which was a short distance away. She immediately scrambled for it.
She's going to use it to escape, was the one thought that managed to overcome the intense pounding inside of Alice's head.
Chaos' movements became sluggish as she grasped the golden orb and stood up. Her arm twitched, but did not arc to throw the Chronosphere. Instead, she stiffened, then slowly turned around to face Alice. A look of pure terror had seized the deity. But the fear in her eyes faded away as they began to glaze over.
"Don't leave me here alone in the abyss again," she whimpered, before her mind passed into oblivion.
Almost all of her memories would be of the abyss, Alice realised. Not very pleasant at all.
Alice's legs felt like toothpicks as she stood upright to search for the exit. It was probably best to get moving, as she didn't know how long she had until she delved into her own memories again. With each step she took, the pounding in her head grew louder, making her feel dizzy. Finally, her legs gave out. But the ground did not rush up to meet her. A firm hand had grabbed Alice's arm, while another shot out in front of her to keep her upright. It took all of her strength to look up and see who had caught her.
"Are you all right?" Time asked, examining her closely.
Alice's head lolled in an attempt to nod.
He gave her a look of concern as he removed his hand from her chest and clutched her wrist. tightly. With his other hand still on her arm, he guided her towards the door. Alice's light-headedness immediately got worse when her eyes readjusted to the dimly lit corridor. Time steadied her, then led her towards the wall opposite. There, he let her go and turned on his heel.
"I'll be right back," he promised and entered the Room of Remembrance once more.
Woozily, Alice leant against the wall and slid down to a sitting position. She followed Time with heavy eyes, watching as he approached Chaos with caution. She stood in a trance, and as he got closer, she appeared to be unfazed by his footsteps. The image of the prophetic scroll came to mind as Time finally came to a halt beside Chaos. His shoulders sagged slightly as he gently pried the Chronosphere from Chaos' paralysed hand. Leaning in, he then whispered something into her ear. They were just out of earshot, but judging from the pained look on his face, Alice could only guess he had said something along the lines of a long goodbye. As Time spun around and made his way back, he spotted something on the ground and picked it up. He then continued forwards just as Alice's eyes began to droop.
XXX
A warmth caressing Alice's exposed skin was the first thing she felt when she came to. She opened her eyes to see a fireplace with flames dancing gently to a silent tune. Her arms were draped over leather armrests, and her head was supported by the firm backrest. Her feet were also propped out close to the fireplace, with the heels of her boots resting against the carpet.
Alice's fingers dug into the armrests as she sat upright.
Was this another memory? Where was Chaos?
A million thoughts raced through her mind as her eyes darted around the cosy room. They landed on the empty chair across from her. She was alone in Time's sitting room.
Alice took a deep breath and focused on her still trembling hands. What had happened in the Room of Remembrance came back to her. Underland was finally free from Chaos' clutches. She was safe, but what of her friends..?
The door behind her creaked open, and Time entered. Seeing her upright and alert, he immediately rounded the tall armchair to face her.
"You're awake," he said. "I'm sorry, I needed to step out and tend to the Grand Clock."
"It's okay," Alice assured him.
Time knelt in front of her, worry lining his features. "You do not look well, Alice."
"I'm fine. I just need a moment."
"You know my views on the definition of a moment, yes?"
Alice cracked a smile. But he did not return the gesture. Instead, he lowered his gaze.
"I must apologise for how I behaved. I am beside myself about how harsh I was to you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
Alice had to stop her jaw from dropping. "There's really no need for it. It was Chaos' doing, after all. I came under her influence too."
"I understand. But regardless, there is no excuse for bad behaviour," Time said with a frown.
"You know, I should be the one apologising. I followed you into Underland when I should have stayed put like you asked me to. I put your whole plan at risk, and I even put my own world at risk too!"
"You did what you thought was right. My plan was simply a mercy upon the Underlings. But you believed we could do more than that. Even when Chaos was moments away from victory, you sacrificed yourself for a chance at defeating her," he remarked with admiration.
"When I entered the Room of Remembrance, I wasn't thinking about sacrificing myself," Alice admitted with a heavy sigh. "I was being selfish. I did the one thing that I didn't think I was capable of…"
Time cocked his head to the side. "And what would that be?"
"I gave up. I just wanted to be happy one last time, that's all."
Time pursed his lips at her words. She expected him to dismiss her confession, or to even say she was being too hard on herself, but he did neither of those things.
"At first, that may have been true. But from where I was standing, it did not appear to be the case for long."
"Thank you for that, by the way. You helped me a great deal in there."
"You would have been lost forever if I did not intervene," he said grimly.
"It's funny you mention that. You said to me if someone were to step inside that room, they would be lost deep within their own pleasant memories."
"Yes, what of it?"
"Well, they weren't all pleasant memories."
Time paused for a moment. "Perhaps it was whatever those memories needed to be for you, if not pleasant." A brief look of remembrance crossed his face, and his hand flew to his breast pocket. "I believe you dropped this."
In his hand was her pocket watch. Hesitantly, Alice took it.
"Thank you."
"Is something troubling you? Is it the watch? I can fix it if -"
"No, no," Alice quickly stopped him. "It's… I let myself forget something rather terrible."
"Oh." Time, watching Alice graze her thumb over the crack in the glass, was lost for words.
"This will help me make sure that never happens again," she said quietly.
Time coughed awkwardly. "After all this turmoil, I understand you probably want to return home. Come on, I will take you to the throne room," he offered, standing up and heading towards the door. Alice sighed, and went to follow him.
XXX
They entered the throne room to find a large circular pool of water. Alice cautiously wandered up to it, peering down into its dark depths. Suddenly, a pair of ethereal blue eyes appeared in the reflection, and Alice turned to see Time standing next to her.
So it was him in the water looking up at me, Alice noted.
"It may look unwelcoming, but you must keep swimming downwards. You will find that you will break water soon and be back in your world," Time explained.
"I see..." Alice murmured.
"The longer you stay here, the harder it will be to leave," he gently reminded her.
"But that is exactly what I want. If I go back, I will be alone. I have been for quite some time now. But here…" Alice turned around to look at him. "Here, I have people that care for me and understand me. People that believe in me. The last person that felt that way in my world passed away three years ago."
Time frowned. He understood her dilemma perfectly. Before Iracebeth, loneliness was all he ever knew. Walking along the empty corridors. Having no one to talk to. His miniscule artisans that he crafted had kept him preoccupied him for a while, but even then, they were not true company. But unlike her, he could not look towards the Underlandians he watched over. They were either ignorant of his existence, or were too frightened to pursue what tales they had heard of the personification of time itself. Time longed to change that, but sadly, he knew he could not stay in Underland for long to try.
"My dear, you cannot stay and spend the rest of your days in Underland," Time said with a pained look.
"Why not?"
"Because I do not have a watch for you, nor can I make you one."
Alice dove into her pocket and pulled out her pocket-watch.
"But what about this?" she asked, holding it out for him.
He didn't even look at it as he shook his head. "I'm afraid it will not do. Time passes differently here. You say it has been fifteen years since you last saw me?"
"Yes, that's right."
"For me, it has been one hundred."
"Y-you have been alone for a hundred years?" Alice blurted.
"Yes. Fifteen years is nothing. Yet, you have aged considerably. I dare not think about the next fifteen, or the fifteen after that."
"I'm sorry, is that why you were looking at me oddly when you first brought me here?"
"…Yes."
"Right," Alice said. Well, I got the answer in the end.
"Without a proper watch, you will not be attuned to our universe's flow of time," he explained with a sigh.
"So I will die long before anyone else?"
He nodded sadly, fixated on the glistening obsidian floor below him. A few silent moments passed between them, before Alice spoke.
"I don't care."
Time's eyes widened slightly as he lifted them to meet Alice's.
"I don't care," she repeated with more conviction. "As long as I'm with the people I love, my short time here will feel like an eternity."
Time gave a proud smile. "Well, if you're sure… Then I suppose you should go and see if everyone is still ticking, breathing, moving - whatever it is you Underlings prefer to do in your spare time."
"So… I can stay?"
"If you promise to be amusing -" Time began, but Alice shot him a glare. He quickly covered his pause up with a cough. "Which, you have proven to be, of course."
"Will you come with me, then?"
"No. I have much work to do. It is without end."
Alice nodded in understanding; he did have to keep the universe ticking, after all.
XXX
At the Red Queen's old entrance, Time stopped just short of the door and turned to her. "Before you depart, promise me something."
"Anything."
"Will you spare me a thought, every now and again?" he asked, hands folding repeatedly in front of him.
Alice was taken aback for a moment. Did he really think she was going to leave and forget about him all in an instant?
"I can do you one better," Alice offered. "I'll come and visit, if you'd like."
Time's face lit up with joy. "Really?"
"Of course! Well, only if you want me to, that is."
"I would very much like that," Time confirmed.
Alice lingered at the door while Time waited politely. She peered into the room's dark depths before spinning around to face him again. "Do you recall saying that you would always remember me?"
"I do," he said. "And I will stay true to that remark until the end."
"Well, I've decided that I don't think I could ever forget you either - no matter how hard I may try," Alice poked with a grin.
Time chuckled. "I do not know about that. Time escapes even myself sometimes…"
After laughing along with him, Alice cleared her throat. "Farewell, then."
"Until next time," Time said with a warm smile. "Thank you, Alice."
Alice waved goodbye and entered the dark room. She passed through the glass door, and stepped out into Underland. Giving one last glance back at the old cottage she had emerged from, she set off into the woods, knowing she would be hopelessly lost. Despite her current predicament, however, a serenity fell over Alice.
For the first time in her life, she had made the choice to stay.
A/N: Hi, all! Hope you enjoyed this story! I may tack on an epilogue if i can write it properly, so stay tuned for that. As always, comments/feedback are always welcome! :)