Chapter 3: The lost generation

[Timeline: 1968 – Da Nang]

A few days after the suicide of the Navy Seal, Murdock resigned from the CIA. He couldn't stomach the brutal and violent acts of intimidation and terrorism tactics that his counterparts seemed all too happy to carry out. They were nothing more than a bunch of ARVN deserters and VC turncoats and criminals. He had decided that he didn't want anything more to do with Operation Phoenix.

So he was transferred to the 101 Airborne Division at Da Nang. It was back to the old familiar territory of flying million dollar aircrafts at 150 MPH, with the enemy taking pot shots at him.

But he still couldn't get away from the pain and destruction of the war. His crew mostly consisted of young 18 and 19 year olds, who became men purely out of the selfless heroism they performed on a daily basis. Most of them were killed before they reached their 21st birthdays.

The missions were many and varied with not too much sleep in between. Even the mundane Ash & Trash missions usually ended in some sort of combat assault.

The problem was, there was nearly always someone that got left behind. Even though Murdock's Huey would be groaning reluctantly as it was laden to well over its weight capacity, there would still be the unlucky few who didn't quite make it out.

The haunted look on their faces would be the last thing Murdock would see as he airlifted his bird from the Landing Zone. He knew they didn't stand a chance against Charlie, who would have already over-run the area before Murdock had even got a chance to reach tree-top level.

There was nothing he could do to save them – he knew that. But it didn't stop that familiar feeling of sorrow and helplessness from plaguing his thoughts.

But seeing his comrades falling like dominoes around him was only half the story. Because the real casualties of this war were the innocent South Vietnam people.

Okay, some knuckleheads might argue that it was impossible to tell who the enemy was, as they mingled discretely amongst the innocent local civilians. After all, it wasn't like the VC were going to supply you with their names, addresses and telephone numbers!

So now every man, woman and child had become the enemy. The American planes and helicopters bombed hospitals, schools and villages. Toxic chemicals and defoliants were dropped along with the dreaded napalm bombs. Murdock was told that the chemicals wouldn't harm the people as they destroyed the forests that had kept the VC hidden, but he had already seen the side effects that would contradict that statement.

Villages were burned and women and children were herded into camps surrounded by barbed wire. Husbands and sons were killed and very few that went into battle ever came back. Children became orphans, beggars and thieves.

In the past Murdock and his fellow-Americans had always been made welcome by the villagers. They would bring candy for the children and food and medicine to the poor and sick. However, as the war dragged on claiming more innocent lives, all Murdock could see was fear and anger on their faces.

"Why do you come and destroy everything?" they would scream at him in Vietnamese. "Our children have no fathers. A whole generation has been killed."

Murdock couldn't answer their questions, because he had been asking himself the very same thing. Those words would come back and fill him with torment and anguish time and time again.

He was choked up with unfathomable grief, but still the tears wouldn't fall. After all, it wasn't all his fault.

Just like it wasn't his fault that he had to leave his helpless comrades behind.

Or had helped the American Seal commit suicide.

Or had condemned hundreds of people to death.

Or had caused his Grandparent's car-crash.

It was getting pretty crowded in the dark recess of Murdock's mind.

[OMG this is so hard – I think I've bitten off more than I can chew here! I have come to the conclusion that angst really isn't my thing. May try and attempt another two chapters, but it might be a long wait! Please review if you have formed any sort of opinion.]

[Ash & Trash missions were non-combat duties (ie. cargo lifts, delivery flights, VIP flights.]