CHAPTER 3

"Woah! I have definitely seen you look prettier."

Shayera glared up at Helena, the woman meeting her at the League's grounded base of operations. The redhead rolled her eyes, Helena smirking and dropping her tray to sit with her friend.

Helena was often the jokester of the group, full of sarcasm and sultry seduction. It was part of the reason she and Shayera got on so well, along with the fact they just lived for kicking some good old-fashioned ass.

"Well, at least I am pretty."

Helena mockingly grabbed her chest in pain, causing Shay to chuckle while her companion sat down.

"You wound me, you wound me!" Helena replied with a giggle, grabbing some of her bread and going to town on her soup.

"So, what's hanging my winged friend? I figured you'd be tired of me after last night."

Shayera chuckled, picking at her food.

"You are a hell of a lot to handle, but you're never too much for me."

"Aww! Shayera, look at you, so warm and fuzzy now," the brunette replied with a tease, Shayera rolling her eyes in kind.

"I'm just full of surprises these days it seems," she muttered to her food, her face growing a little more sullen.

Helena eyed her quiet friend, the thought dawning on her that this was more of a needing to talk meeting and less of a goofing off meeting. While Helena was used to staying goofy and sassy, especially with her new group of friends including Shayera, Flash and her lover Black Canary, she also knew when to be serious, and it seemed as if something was deeply troubling Shayera.

"Alright Hawkgirl," she said, placing all food down and giving the woman her full attention.

"Spill. What is going on in that head of yours?"

Shayera continued to toy with her food.

"Honestly? That's the question I'm trying to answer."

Helena was a bit stunned, not used to seeing her friend this defeated, not in a long while.

"Hey," she began gently, placing a hand on Shayera's arm.

"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out… is it John and the Warhawk situation again?"

After the Roulette fighting ring incident and the start of Shayera's friendship with Huntress and Black Canary, she initially confided in her dark haired friend about her break up with John. After her trip to the past with John and Mari, and John's choice after that trip, Shayera leaned on her friend and told her all about the son from her future.

"It's not entirely that… I, well… I feel pressured."

"Pressured," Huntress replied gently. "Try to elaborate, how so?"

"It's just… I want to move on from John, and I finally feel like I have. My relationships with people in the League are all basically mended. I have great friendships in you, Dinah, Wally, even Bruce, Jo'on and Clark-"

"And now Diana," Huntress interrupted.

Shayera paused.

"R-Right… her too. A-Anyway, my point is, I rebuilt and regrouped myself and my life on this Earth. I want to put the past behind me, but it's like there's a trap, like I'm confined."

"Confined how?"

"Confined to end up with John and have this child."

There it was, the words Shayera had not known how to say. After learning about her son, she initially thought she and the Lantern would rekindle things, but once John made his choice, Shayera slowly began to let go and move on. It wasn't her love or interest in John that made her feel stuck, but rather, this pressure of the future, of their future child, like fate was mandating they be together somehow regardless.

"I just want to move on, but I feel like I don't have a choice in the matter."

"Hey, look at me girlfriend."

The redhead looked up into her friend's sympathetic and smiling face.

"You, my fierce Thanagarian thrasher, are a badass of epic proportions. There is nothing that can get in your way, and when it comes to this future crap, we all know that it can change."

She slid her hand down Shayera's forearm to gently cup her hand and squeeze.

"You do not have to do anything you do not want to. Maybe there is a son in a future world, or hell, even an alternate dimension. Just like with the Justice Lords, you don't know what's going to happen. But I know you deserve to be happy, and whatever is meant to happen in that future will happen. Maybe it just won't be in a way you expect."

Shayera took in everything her friend was saying, squeezing the hand back and looking at her friend.

"Thank you Helena."

"What are friends for girl?" she replied with a wink, the girls letting go of each other and going back to their food.

Shayera began chuckling to herself, the brunette meeting her gaze and giving her a humored and questioning look. Shayera finished chewing, waving her friend off.

"It's nothing, just, what you said earlier is very similar to what Diana said last night. Though she had it all worked out on how to bypass John."

"Bypass John? Like, to have a son?"

"Mmhmm," she replied, nodding her head. "She said I could just have him basically be a donor, have a kid the artificial way. I looked at her like she was crazy. As if John and I's awkward dynamic needs further drama or straining."

Helena watched the woman before her. Her perplexity grew, more so from the fact she confided in Diana such a personal detail, than from Diana's actual suggestion.

"Leave it to the Amazon to be blunt and simple," Helena joked, Shayera chuckling and nodding.

The brunette was intrigued now, wondering if there was more going on with Shayera and her new friend than she observed.

"Diana is pretty cool, I really like her. I'm glad you have a new friend you can open up to like that."

Shayera snorted in response.

"It was definitely not like that before. We used to be at each other's throats constantly. Now…" Shayera paused, her mind wandering.

"Now?"

The redhead glanced at her friend, realizing her lapse.

"We worked things out. She's… she's just not who I thought she was."

"Uh huh…" Helena said, looking at Shayera strangely.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, playing innocent, the impatient redhead growing annoyed.

"No, you're thinking something. Talk."

"No, nothing, I'm just happy to see you guys are total buds now, spending all this time together… it's a good thing! Plus, the concert? Flash and I are planning all sorts of fun things," Helena said, grinning mischievously.

Shayera rolled her eyes.

"Be gentle with her. Yes, she's an Amazon and strong and blah blah, but getting to know Diana on a deeper level, there's a lot of innocence there. She's very sweet, and so," Shayera said, pointing her fork at her friend. "No corrupting her or overwhelming her. At least not for her first big night out with us."

Shayera went back to eating, Helena's mind racing at what she just heard. Not only was the redhead confiding in Diana now, but defending her? And calling her sweet? Helena kept quiet, putting together her friend's actions of late. She mulled over the situation with John, things with Wonder Woman, how Shayera was feeling…

Helena's eyes widened in shock, looking at her friend.

"Is it possible…" she drifted off in her own head, wondering if the Thanagarian was unaware of the fact she may have already moved on from John and onto someone new.

"Say, Shayera, question for you."

"Go ahead, shoot."

"Remember our homophobia in the modern world lesson to Princess Hot Stuff last night?"

Shayera shot her a look, Helena internalizing a smirk as she noticed Shayera's feathers bristle slightly.

"Don't call her that, and yes I do, why?"

"Well, I was just wondering… what was Thanagar like? You didn't really mention your home planet, but I was curious if you had similar issues there too."

Shayera had to mull it over, Helena commenting further.

"I know you guys had more advanced technology and everything, but didn't know if it was culturally advanced too."

"No, that's a good question. It was a very taboo subject at points in our history, but by the time we developed peace to such a far extent within our society, thoughts of homophobia diminished. It still was not incredibly common, maybe the same as it is on Earth, but before it's destruction, Thanagar didn't really seem to care. We had bigger issues to deal with."

"It must seem pretty petty for you coming from an advanced race."

"Not petty, just, unnecessary. I don't have a tendency to give a crap what most people think of me, as you've noticed, and I don't waste my time getting involved in other people's business. I don't see why humans find the need to, but again, the attitude will evolve as the people evolve."

Helena nodded her head silently, biting her lip and trying to figure out what to say next.

"I'm glad it doesn't bother you. It might have made things awkward, being friends with Dinah and I and everything."

"Oh, I mean you two do disgust me, but that's just because you're so gross with one another," Shayera said seriously before a bread roll hit her head, making her laugh.

"Dinah and I are adorable and you are just jealous of our cuteness."

"Yea, yea."

Helena paused, and thought quickly, smirking as she knew where to steer the convo.

"And I guess it's good too, since you're now friends with Diana, her being an Amazon and all."

"Just because she's an Amazon doesn't mean she's gay," Shayera replied, rolling her eyes.

"Please! She spent how many years of her immortal life on an island of beautiful women? Yea, she may not be completely gay, but she's not completely straight either."

Shayera paused in her bite, eyes flitting to Helena, who caught the guilty look.

"Hah! See, you even know something!"

"It's not my business to discuss, so don't ask me."

"Uh huh. Well, this all just got far more interesting."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing… I just find it interesting that two women, both from very open-minded cultures, who are both beautiful and strong and JL members, happen to be single and forming an incredibly lovely relationship with one another."

Shayera was completely halted by the words, her mind finally catching up to what Helena was implying. Her mind raced, thinking back to last night, pinning Diana to the mat, their bodies touching, the heat emanating from her….

Shayera slammed her fork down and out of her mouth, shocked at where her brain was leading her.

"Woah, easy tiger."

"Why would you infer that?! It's not like that!" Shayera hissed, her cheeks flushing.

"I didn't say it was! I just said I thought it was interesting."

"You know what you meant."

"Shayera-" trying to halt her friend's words.

"Diana isn't even like that, she was with Bruce-"

"Shayera-" Helena hissed more insistently.

"We don't do that, Diana doesn't even look at me in that way."

"Diana doesn't look at you in which way?"

Shayera froze, not daring to turn around to respond to the very familiar voice of her very Amazonian friend. Diana had just finished a peace talk negotiation involving Kasnia at the UN, when she saw her friends eating lunch together, and thought she'd drop by to say hello. Walking upon the scene and catching the last sentence from Shayera, she became perplexed.

Shayera visibly paled, Helena realizing that her friend still had quite a bit to process on her own and was clearly not ready.

"Shayera was just talking about your sparring. She was saying that you don't see her as a very worthy opponent, 'not in that way,' if you catch my drift?" Helena said with complete confidence.

The Amazon's face dropped, walking around to stand in between the two at the table and look at Shayera, a sadness written on her face.

"Shayera, I'm… I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. You're a Thanagarian, you're strong and one hell of a fighter. When I suggested sparring together, I thought it would be better for both of us. Training with a stronger partner, well it does both people good. You're a worthy adversary, I'm sorry if I made you feel any differently."

Hawkgirl's head snapped up, guilt filling her stomach as she realized this little diversion genuinely made Diana worried and feel terrible.

"N-No! Stop, Diana… what I, um, meant… What I meant was that you don't see me as the toughest person you could compete with, and train with, so… so it must get boring for you," Shayera said, lying through her teeth.

"I don't feel that way Shayera. I really enjoy training with you, and you are stronger than an Earthling. I mean just last night you pinned me and held me down pretty well. I don't want you to think I don't enjoy spending time with you."

Shayera's mind raced back in time to that moment, back to the pinning, the bodies touching, the heat, Diana's lips inches away from hers. Her eyes flitted back up to the Amazon who was sporting a serious face, trying to show conviction in her truth that she genuinely enjoyed spending time with Shayera. The Thanagarian shook her head, pulling herself out of her swirl of thoughts.

"No, I don't think that you dislike it. I have come to accept the reality you are quite a skilled fighter and I just worry about boring you. But if you're not bored, and you enjoy the time spent, then I'm glad. I enjoy spending time with you too. I'm glad things have changed between us," Shayera said, speaking from her heart and being open with the woman before her, something she always felt nervous to do in the past.

Diana smiled in return, placing a hand on Shayera's shoulder and squeezing gently.

"I'm glad too. And I'm sorry about the cheap shot yesterday when this one and her girlfriend entered," Diana said nicely, gesturing to Helena, who now grew more confused at what exactly she had walked in on yesterday.

"It's fine, it startled us both. No broken ribs or pain."

"Good. I have to run and see Jo'on up at the Watch Tower. I'm so happy he's back, it's nice to see him, I try to at least once a week," Diana said, both girls nodding.

"Alright, well I hope you both enjoy your lunches. And Helena, you know you could always join us and spar too. Maybe the two of you at once won't bore me so much?"

Shayera's head whipped up and she saw Diana smirking at her, mirth in her eyes, the winged woman's eyebrow rising.

"Watch it princess. Getting a sense of humor might get you into trouble now."

Diana rolled her eyes and chuckled, waving goodbye to the pair. They watched her go, Helena taking in the scene she just witnessed. Shayera knew meeting her friend's gaze was a bad idea.

"I can feel you staring."

"Dude."

"Can you stop with the looking?"

"DUDE."

"Ugh, Helena, would you quit it?" Shayera said, growling at her friend who was looking at her with wide eyes.

"Holy crap! I don't know how I missed it until now, but it all makes total sense."

"There's nothing to make sense of."

"Except for the fact that you are totally into Wonder Woman and she's totally into you."

"Would you keep your voice down?! And we are not into each other! We just barely became friends!"

"Three months ago! And you both care what the other thinks, you got over John, in fact you WANT to be over John, and then… oh my god! Dinah and I walked in on you guys having a freaking moment last night, didn't we?"

Shayera went to speak, but blushed, her friend starting to bounce in her seat.

"No, NO, there was no moment! Quit it!"

"Fine, then answer me this. If there was no moment, why did Diana launch you off her like a grenade launcher? Because we 'startled' the strongest woman in the world who basically never gets startled?"

"She must get jumpy, what can I tell you," Shayera replied, faking seriousness, Helena shaking her head at her like she was crazy.

"Okay, sure, then explain this part, what would have happened had we not walked in?"

Shayera went to reply but had no response. She choked on her words, trying to formulate an answer. The only problem was, she didn't have one. Her mind wandered back to that moment quite a bit in the last 24 hours, and truth be told, if the girls had not entered, she could not say for certain something would not have transpired.

"Shayera… I'm not here to judge, I'm here to help. It's okay if you do have an attraction to Diana, hell, a lot of people do."

Shayera frowned and gritted her teeth, the thought of so many people fawning over the Amazon Princess. She felt a pang of rejection within that thought, the idea the gorgeous princess could really have anyone she desired, it making Shayera feel small in comparison.

"Shayera?"

"I need to go," she replied curtly, stunning Helena as she quickly stood and walked off.

"Shayera? Shayera!" Helena sat there bewildered.

She was worried about her friend, wondering if she should have treaded more lightly. She was unaware Shayera was going to be so sensitive to these new feelings. She let out a sigh, going to stand when she noticed her friend's tray on the table.

"Jeez, you could have at least picked up after yourself, but nooo," she mumbled to herself, taking the tray and going to leave the room.

It had been 3 days since she had seen or spoken to any of her friends, avoiding everyone she knew like the plague. She knew Wally had taken notice and would fly around the building trying to catch her, and whenever he was able to catch her, Shayera shut him down and made a hasty exit. And now, here she was on a Monday night, working out in the Watch Tower, boxing and trying to blow off some steam.

She was in all black, sports bra and spandex shorts, sweat pouring down her body. Nearly two hours in the gym and she felt fried. She walked over to the towel rack and grabbed herself one, along with some water. She let herself slide to the floor, leaning her back against one of the walls, taking her time to relax. The truth was, she was exhausted.

Ever since Helena's comments, she had been able to think of nothing other than her sparring partner, who she was supposed to see tomorrow night. Shayera knew she was going to be cancelling that meeting as well, not sure she could even see Wonder Woman in the flesh with everything stirring in her mind.

Shayera felt genuinely blindsided and confused by everything she was feeling at this point in time. She had not been prepared to have feelings for another person, especially not a woman.

It wasn't about homophobia, but Shayera was just shocked that she had come to be attracted to Diana after their history. Had she always been attracted to her? Is that why she used to give her such a hard time for being a princess? Shayera felt suddenly self-conscious, surprised she had been so unaware for so long that she actually liked Diana as a person, especially after getting to know her better.

It was mind-boggling to come to the realization you were deeply attracted to someone, someone who had been around you for so long yet had not gotten along with you too. Shayera's frustration was largely with herself. She saddened too at the reality Diana was probably not interested in her at all, thinking back to Helena's words and doubting there was mutuality in the attraction.

"A Princess from an island of the most beautiful women in the world… yea, she's into me," Shayera chuckled to herself, finding irony in the situation.

She knew she would need more time to deal with this, and as she stood, she grabbed her comm link to leave Diana a message she would receive upon her return tomorrow from her most recent mission, explaining she wasn't feeling well and she would see her on Thursday.

She made her way out of the gym and through the halls and elevators to get to her room. She took a long shower, trying to rinse the stress away, unsure of how she was going to proceed with these feelings and also make sure she did not hurt her new friend. It seemed like there was pressure from her past, present and future coming down on her, Shayera growing unsure as to what to do.

The redhead exited the shower, going to slip a negligee on and do some light stretching before passing out. As she began to work her muscles, she heard a light knock on the door. She paused in her movements before she heard a female voice call her name.

Shayera was confused by the voice, but went to the door and opened it, surprised to find Diana there.

"Diana? I thought you weren't going to be back in this galaxy until tomorrow?"

"Things finished early. I just got in and heard your message."

Shayera eyed the soup and bread she was holding, knowing it came from the cafeteria. She looked up and noticed the Amazon had zoned out, Shayera's voice pulling her from her reverie.

"Is that for me?"

"Oh, yes. When you said didn't feel well, I assumed sick, and I know soup and bread tend to do wonders for that," she replied, reaching to hand them over to Shayera.

"Thank you. Sorry, I'm just a little surprised, I wasn't expecting you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't realize you'd be waiting for someone."

"Waiting for someone?"

"Um, well, you look nice, and obviously, you were not expecting me."

"Oh, no, Diana, I just wasn't expecting anyone and since I thought you were away… Anyway, I'm glad it's you. And thank you again, this was really sweet."

Diana looked her up and down, noticing the tired expression on Shayera's face.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit off."

"I'm good, I promise."

"Helena left me a message too, saying she hasn't heard from you in three days and wasn't sure if this concert scenario was going to happen still. What's been eating at you?"

"It's really nothing, I promise, everything is fine. I just need to be alone for a while."

Diana studied the woman before her, keeping her eyes trained on Shayera's face and not letting them adventure lower to the lack of silk clothing adorning her body.

"Right. I should go. I will leave you to it."

Shayera's eyes picked up and noticed Diana glancing off to the side, her eyes coming to meet hers briefly and giving her a small smile. Shayera watched her begin to walk away, noticing the awkwardness and uncertainty in her step.

"Wait!"

Diana paused and turned to look at Shayera, eyebrows raised. The redhead came out into the hall to speak to her.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving actually."

"Go grab some food, come back here… I wouldn't mind the company."

Diana was surprised, but Shayera's smile melted her insides. She gave a brief nod and went to grab food. Shayera for her part had no idea what she was doing. All she knew was that she felt better having Diana there than being alone and thinking about her.

Shayera shook her head, realizing she just put herself in a precarious situation.

;)