I was relatively surprised that Alex had agreed, I definitely wasn't expecting her to. I did feel a little antsy. "Wait. Seriously?" A little nervousness set in, what if Aaron was still searching for me? She nodded.
"Yeah, you can't wear my clothes for ever," she took a bite of egg, "Besides if I remember correctly isn't Urban Outfitters more your thing." My face grew warm and I internally cringed.
"That was a long time ago. It's not like you're one to talk anyway." I smirked my nervousness temporarily forgotten. "Excuse me?" She feigned shock. "You used and often still wear all black, eyeliner and red lipstick." I pointed at her hand, "Black nail polish, I rest my case." Her laughter was warm as she pulled her hand away.
"Wow Pipes, my pride has been wounded." I smiled. "Maybe you oughta go shopping today too, add some color to your wardrobe" I'd missed her more than I realized. I loved being around her. She rolled her eyes, finished her food and put her plate in the sink. "I'm gonna get ready." She got up, "Call me if you need me," and disappeared into the bathroom. As I finished my breakfast I could hear the shower running, for second I thought I heard talking but it was fleeting. Maybe she was talk to herself. The simplest things made me realize how long it had been since I felt anything close to security, but did I even deserve it? I shook my head and finished my breakfast. Today would be a good day. I went to the bedroom and picked some of Alex's clothes to wear for the day. A black t-shirt, jeans, and a faded grey sweatshirt, they smelled like her, a little more like cigarettes now. Even though Alex had redecorated everything about this seemed familiar, down to our shared banter.
"Pipes?" I jumped. I hadn't heard the shower cut off or the door open. "Hey are you alright?" Her voice reflected genuine concern. "I didn't mean to scare you." Her hand brushed my shoulder and I calmed quite a bit.
"I'm alright." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it briefly before letting go again. "I'm gonna get ready, okay?" I turned towards her eyes scanned mine for any fear. I smiled in an effort to reassure her. I hurriedly showered and got dressed in the clothes I had chosen. Alex was now dressed as well, she was wearing a white t-shirt with skull pattern under a black leather jacket. Despite how she'd changed it gave the same air of alluring mystery she'd had when we'd first met. Except with the blue, still she was dazzling with even trying. She was wearing make for the first time in a few day, her trademark winged eyeliner and red lipstick. "So we it's my lips that caught your attention this time huh?" My face grew warm, I was truly guilty this time. I stumbled over my words.
"It's just that um…" I hesitated, "It's been a–"
"Save it Pipes, you sound like a a 12 year old about to ask me to dance," I blushed furiously, that wasn't a fair comparison I sounded at least 13.
"Alex–" "Don't 'Alex' me, do you want to get going or not?" She said in a playful tone, captivating.
"Whatever, I guess" I rolled my eyes but I was smiling. As we walked down the hallway she interlaced her fingers with mine. Being outside the apartment for the first time in days made me nervous but I was excited too. We made our way to the mall commenting on the things we passed. It'd been a while since I'd been on this side town. The nice side, with bright lights coming from the shops on either side of the road. People were window shopping and laughing not a care in the world. I remember being that innocent and naivë. She pulled into a parking spot on the side of the road.
"Does this work?" I nodded and she turned of the car, I realized I'd been curling into fists, I uncurled revealing tiny white crescents where my fingernails were. Alex rubbed my hand with her thumb then squeezed it. "Hey, look at me." Her voice was soft but sure, when I looked at her there was confidence. "It's gonna be okay, no matter what I'll make sure you're okay," her eyes begged me to believe her and I did.
"I trust you Alex." I squeezed her hand back and smiled. "Shall we go?" She nodded and we got out. By the time we got to the first clothing store my left wrist was an irritated red, she glanced at the clothing in the window.
"Do you like any of that?"
"You can't really judge a store by the windows." I said eagerly. "Let's go in!" I opened the door and ventured into the store, there was clothing of all shapes and colors I naturally drifted towards the pastel colored tank tops tank tops but hesitated, maybe I should ask Alex. "What's wrong? Do you like those?"
"Well yeah, but do you?" She half scoffed half laughed. Her laughter made me feel warm, bubbly.
"Yeah, on you Pipes, but my opinion is kind of irrelevant. If you like them, you should wear them." I hesitated. "I could care less what you wear Pipes, whatever makes you happy."
"Can I try them on then?" She scoffed. "You don't have to ask Pipes." She crossed her arms and followed me to the dressing rooms. I spent what felt like hours trying on clothes and looking into the mirror, I looked, like me, but that was scary. What if I didn- What if she didn't like who I truly was? I don't think I could take another rejection. There were a few soft knocks on the door. Her voice came through the closed door, hesitant, uncertain, it didn't fit her.
"Pipes, you okay in there?" "Uh yeah, I- I'm-" I stumbled over my words. "Do you want to see?" "Er- Sure, are you sure you're okay?" I opened the door, biting my lip. Her eyes scanned me from the bottom up, I looked for any reaction.
"I like that on you." She met my eyes. I smiled, feeling a sort childish pride.
"Thanks." she fidgeted reaching for her elbow and then placing her hand by her side. "You're welcome, if everything else fits, we can check it out, unless you want to look for more?"
"No, I'm ready," I smiled at her, genuinely. She payed for my clothes, and we walked down the street bags in tow, hand in hand, visiting several more stores. My confidence growing with each one by the time we finished, it was dark and I was hungry. We had made our way back to the car before she finally said anything. "I'm hungry, do you wanna get something to eat?" She put the bags she was holding in the trunk and tucked her hair behind her ear. I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm kinda hungry."
"I know a good place near here, it has bar so if you don-" I know he was trying to be considerate but it felt like she was stepping on eggshells.
"I can handle it, let's go." She hesitated.
"Are you sure?" I wasn't sure, but I nodded anyway, I didn't want her to be disappointed. "Okay..." She led me to a dimly lit restaurant a few blocks away. It was buzzing, but we were seated almost immediately. Alex and I talked about anything and everything, nothing could pull me away from her except-
"She just disappeared, nobody knows where she went, unless they were FUCKING lying!" His words were slurred, even worse, I had to get away from him, I had to hide. Alex recognized the change in my tone immediately.
"Pipes? What's wrong?" She reached for my hand and I pulled away standing quickly.
"I- I have to go," I left our table and headed towards the back of the restaurant. I just had to get away from him. He would hurt me.
"Pipes?" she called after me as I walked past her, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in, but I'd caught someone else's attention. No, no, no.
"Piper? Is that you?" Aaron called out from the bar, I heard the stool scrape across the ground as I locked myself in the bathroom. I cured myself I'd fucked it up, and he was going to take it all away, take her away. I 'd trapped myself, I'd left Alex. He would kill her, I choked down a sob. I was going to die in here, was going to die out there. He started banging in the door, and I really broke down I buried my head in my hands crying into them. "Not again, not again." Eventually the banging stopped but the yelling did not. I squeezed my legs closer to me as one more solid thud hit the door He was gonna kill me. Where is Alex? I'm dead. The door creaked and my head snapped up, I held my arms up to protect my face.
"Pipes? Hey I'm okay, you're okay. I need you to breathe. You're gonna be okay."