All of the Shinsengumi members gather at the room for a meeting, seated down on the floor of the Shinsengumi headquarter. They all quiet down when Hijikata begun to speak. "Alright, everyone. There's an ongoing problem that been going on for a while now. Now normally, I would have ignore if it was nothing serious at all... However... this issue is far more serious than I thought it was and i'm not going to by anymore as this has gone too far now." Hijikata said before he puff a long whis of smoke. There was a few moment of silent... before Hijikata suddenly jumped up from the floor as he pulled out his sword and pointed it at everyone with an angry-looking face as he shouted it. "WHO BEEN FUCKING STEALING MY GODDAMN MAYONNAISE EVERY SINGEL DAMN NIGHT AND WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT!"
There was no reply from everyone in the room as they all give a blank look to the Demonic Vice-Commander before Okita spoke up as he point out a rather obivous flaw."Hijikata-san, all of us don't even like you dog food."
"OI, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Hijikata said angrily as he then pointed his sword at Okita's face, who just remained blank face at this. "REMEMBER REGULATION 11: DON'T FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSONAL STUFF OR COMMIT SEPPUKU! I CAN FORCE YOU TO COMMIT SEPPUKU IF YOU'RE THE ONE BEEN STEALING THEM, YOU SADIST!"
There was another beat of silent in the room until Kondo then cough up and decide to tell Hijikata something important. "Uh, Hijikata..."
"What?"
"Regulation 11 is now invalid."
"WHAT?! WHY?!"
"By the order of Yamatoakane (大和茜), since he believe it is unnecessary waste of officers."
"WHO?!"
"Yamatoakane Oda, you know him, right?"
"WHAT?! NO! NO, I DIDN'T HEARD OF HIM! WHO THE HELL IS HE?!"
"He's one of the Shogun's advisor/comissoner/retainer and one of the many descendents of Nobunaga Oda himself."
"HUH?! HOW COME I HAVEN'T HEARD OF HIM?!"
"He'd just been mention now." Okita answered.
"WHEN?!"
"Now."
"NOW WHEN?!"
"This chapter."
"WHAT?! HE'S SOUND LIKE A OOC CREATED BY THE LAZYASS AUTHOR OR SOMETHING!"
"That's because he is a OOC created by the lazyass author for this fanfiction."
"THEN WHY- You know what? Never mind, i'm getting a huge headache." Hijikata said as he rub his templer for a moment in annoyance at this and took a quick breather to calm down his stressout mind. After taking a deep breath before sighing, Mayon-sama resume the meeting. "Alright, if not one of you are not stealing my mayonnaise, who the hell is?"
"I don't know Vice-commander, but does it maybe have to do with the abandon creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it next door?" Okita asked as he pointed out to the open slide door with his thumb to the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it, next door to the Shinsengumi headquarter.
"What the-?! WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY AN ABANDONED CREEPY CASTLE WITH SPOOKY CLOUDS OVER IT NEXT DOOR TO US?!"
"What are you talking about? It's always been there."
"WHEN?!"
"Just now."
"JUST NOW WHEN?!"
"This chapter."
"HOW?!"
"Because the author is too lazy to put it somewhere else in Edo."
"WHAT?!"
Later that night...
Yorozuya were standing right at the front door of the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it with the classically scary piano music playing in the background. It was already night and crap as trick 'n' treaters were running from house to house to get candy from people in their house, running over old men's lawn, and getting lure in by your friendly neighborhood resident clown into candy van for free candy. Seriously, this is the main reason why Zee Captein never shared straws after the incident we see in the flashback that we got. Morality of the story? Never shared with anyone, not even your own goddamn blood-related family members and bond-made-by-fire friends because screw them and they all just can go dead and rot in hell! :D
"OI! THAT'S SERIOUS A FUCK-UP MORALITY! Isn't that right, guys?"
Weiss, Gintoki, and Kagura then hissed loudly at the hobo right in front of them as they then tighten their hold on their own straws because its their straws, causing the hobo slump and walk away sadly.
"T-T-This p-place i-is s-sure s-scary g-guys." Shin... Shin... Shin... Shin Shishi Hokodan? Yeah. I'll go with that. Shin Shishi Hokodan said nerviously as he was scared of this. Actually. I think there's a better word for it. Let me see... let me see... let see me... tatata... nope, not that... not the right one right now... ah! There we go! He was absolutely fucking terrified of this. "OI! MY NAME IS NOT SHIN SHISHI HOKODAN! IT'S-"
"Don't worry. Don't be depress about being in a demoted role now. You'll be too scared to even think of being depress right now when we inside of the castle itself." Gintoki said as he patted on Shin Shishi Hokodan's shoulder with his right hand... before he begun to prick his nose with his pinky. "Beside, i'm not scared at all."
"THAT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT! I'M NOT DEPRESSED AND THAT IS NOT REASSURING AT ALL! AND MY NAME IS STILL NOT SHIN SHISHI HOKODAN! IT'S-"
"Quit fucking complaining about your role being just a fucking extra, I can't fucking think what is the foods inside of the fucking castle." Kagura said, telling Shin Shishi Hokodan to shut the fuck up right now, as she thought about what kind of foods are in the fridge of the castle as she ate her seaweed pickle. "Mmmm, I would love to have some candies right about now. What you think the kind of foods are in the castle, Shin Shishi Hokodan?"
"OI! DON'T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S FOODS! AND MY NAME IS NOT-"
"Well, the request came from the Tax Revenue Robbers. Dirty money grubbing Tax Revenue Robbers. Tried to rob me right out of my money! But joke on them! I have no money on me!" Weiss said.
"OI! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"
"Huh? You mean the Shinsengumi?" Gintoki asked.
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Because we'll get big amount of yens from them if we find out who's been stealing Hijikata's dog foods." Weiss answered. An random shout of "FUCK YOU!" from Hijikata himself can be heard in the background.
"OI! ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"
"So look like we have a mystery at our hands." Weiss said as she turned toward the door of the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it, suddenly dressing like Sherlock Homes from the 2009 movie version.
"Oi, wrong clothing for reference." Gintoki told the ice queen as he continue to prick his nose with his deadpan look while looking at the abandoned creepy castle with spooky clouds right over it. "Big money, huh? My main question is...; How are we going to get in?"
Weiss and Kagura answered Gintoki's question... by jump and threw themselves through the walls on both sides of the door itself, breaking into the castle and making a few holes in the walls. "OI! DON'T BREAK INTO A CASTLE THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT!" Shin Shishi Hokodan shouted at the two, terrifying at being someone's focus of anger on.
"Don't be depressed about that." Gintoki said as he patted him on the back.
"I'M NOT DEPRESS-"
Gintoki grab Shin Shishi Hokodan by back of his head and used his said head to smash into the door as a makeshift battering ram, making a hole in the front door of the abandoned creepy castle in the process. He then pull Shin Shishi Hokodan's head out of the hole and put his arm in it before he found the locks and open the door and then with a kick, slam the door open, much to Shin Shishi Hokodan's terror.
"GIN-SAN! THIS IS NOT STEALTHY AT ALL! WE GOING TO GET WHOEVER OWN THIS CASTLE'S ATTENTION!"
Gintoki just ignored Shin Shishi Hokodan as he still has his deadpan face on before he walked into the castle, much to Shin Shishi Hokodan's horror. When he walk in, he see that Weiss and Kagura were still laying face-flat on the floor of the abandoned creepy castle when they the holes in the walls. "Oi, get off of the floor." Gintoki said as he begun pricking his nose again.
Weiss and Kagura immediately pick themselves up from the floor and dusted off their cloths by themselves. When Yorozuya then shifted their attention on the inside of the abandoned creepy castle. They see that the inside of the castle was like a old gothic European castle-type inside look from those found in old horror films.
"WAIT A MINUTE! ISN'T THE INSIDE OF THE CASTLE A EUROPEAN-TYPE INSIDE LOOK?!"
"Yeah."
"BUT OUTSIDE OF THE CASTLE LOOK LIKE A TYPICAL JAPANESE-STYLE CASTLE!"
"So?"
"IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO DIFFERENT STYLES OF CASTLES!"
"Just shut it. You're not stealthy too by shouting. Beside, this is just a chapter of a humor. So nobodies really cared." Gintoki said as he continue to prick his nose with a deadpan look on his look before he saw a mirror and said to himself. "Oh, why hello there."
"Yeah, shut the fuck up, Shin Shishi Hokodan!" Weiss said.
"Yeah, shut the fuck up!" Kagura said before both Weiss and she turned their attention on the same mirror that Gintoki is looking himself in and shouted together as they give the mirror the flipping bird. "AND FUCK YOU TOO, OTHER US!"
Shin Shishi Hokodan just whimper in sadness.
"OI!" Yorozuya turned their confused attention up on top of the staircase... only to see a man with a tall and strong figure with very lean and well-toned muscles, a very manly looking face with a circle beard, dark eyes, a long black hair, and a flawless smooth and fair skin, dressed in a night robe, and holding a cup of coffee in his right hand, and looking down at them in annoyance up top on the staircase. All of this almost make him look like a younger version of Housen. That was when he spoke in his low and gravel. "The hell are you doing in my house?" He ask, revealing his 4 sharp canine teeths, revealing he's a vampire. His similiarity to Housen and the revealing of his 4 fangs, realizing he might be a vampire, caused Shin Shishi Hokodan to immediately screamed like a little girl and fainted in a beat, before he fell backward.
Gintoki, Weiss, and Kagura took one look at the vampire with blank expression on all of their faces and immediately run into two different directions; with Gintoki taking the hall on the vampire's left while Weiss and Kagura took the hall on the vampire's right. All while running for their lives while their expression remain deadpan as they ran in the different hallway.
Meanwhile... where Gintoki is...
Gintoki was running in the hallway that he took for his life, wondering if there a vampire, are there any ghosts in this castle. "Oi, author. I'm not thinking that." Yeah, right Gintoki. That's complete bullshit. Anyway, he was so deep in his thought of about staying home and reading Weekly Shōnen Jump that he didn't notice where he was going and hit something against his face, which bounced his face off, causing him to stumble as he heard someone say "OH!". Once he got his surround and look of what he hit, he saw that it was a blank white ghost...
... Of a hot sexy lady draw in AkuOreo's own art style with a massive blossom on her chest that Gintoki hit his face on. The Albino former samurai and the incredible hot ghost just stared at each other in silent while Gintoki mentally debate whether he should scream in fear and turn to the other direction or just stay still and be aroused by the image of the ghost, all with the same dead fish eyes expression of his...
Meanwhile... where Weiss and Kagura are...
Weiss and Kagura were running down the hallway they took while still having the same blank expression on their faces before the Yato girl spoke to the Ice queen. "Hey, Weiss?"
"Hmm?"
"Should we turn our head around to make sure that fucking vampire is not running after us?"
"Of course, not. If we keep our head straight of where we're running, then we don't run into him. Like those sterotypical horror films."
"Good point."
Weiss and Kagura keep running before they then came to a speeching stop when they see someone standing in the middle of the hall right in front of them... who was none other than Freddy Kruger himself! "Little girls shouldn't run..." He said with a grin... before revealing his five razor sharp metal-clawed brown leather glove on his right hand with an shine on one of the claws. "BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY RUN INTO!" He laugh at his own joke that was seriously shitty.
"Hey, look Kagura. It's a fucking grumpy old lady who's having a coughing fit.'
"Wait, WHAT?!"
"Oh yeah, it is a old lady judging by the winkle on her fucking face. But where's her cane?
"THEY'RE GODDAMN SCAR BURNS!"
"I guess she might have cut it down accidentally with her claws."
"I'M NOT A OLD LADY, YOU STUPID BITCHES!"
"Okay, so is that why she is yelling so fucking loudly indistincstly?"
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME, YOU IDIOTS!"
"She's fucking yelling just because she's just a motherfucking cranky old mummy."
"Yeah, she's just a motherfucking cranky old mummy."
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME AT ALL?!"
"You think a old lady would be fucking scary, Weiss?"
"No, they're only scary if they're motherfucking witches."
"Okay, but what about them being molester?"
"Nah, a male molester would be far more fucking scary."
"Good point."
Freddy was just baffled and dumbfounded by their lack of reaction to him and not scared of him at all.
That was when some random guy dressed in black clothings and wearing a pumpkin mask suddenly skit into the hall right in front of two girls and start dancing to the Spooky Scary Skeleton (Remix) song while the song itself begun playing.
That immediately scared Weiss and Kagura as they screamed in terror before they turned to the other direction of the hallway and immediately ran toward it as if their lives depend on it.
Freddy was just shocked that they wasn't scared of him, but were scared more by this guy in the pumpkin mask dancing to the Spooky Scary Skeleton (Remix), before he then just growl in annoyance and decide to "Fuck it" and he return back to the dream world, with the guy in the pumpkin mask still dancing to the ironic halloween song.
Meanwhile... back to where Gintoki is...
Gintoki and the hot ghost continue to stared in silent at each other while the albino former samurai was still debating in his mind... when Weiss and Kagura suddenly running down the hall for their lives as they scream in horror and terror before they both knock Gintoki down by ramming their arms into him and immediately dragged him down the hall along the floor by his collar as they continue to run, gagging him.
"WEISS!"
"WHAT?!"
"IS THE FUCKING PUMPKIN GUY AND THE FUCKING VAMPIRE GUY RIGHT BEHIND US?!"
"I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF WE CONTINUE RUNNING DOWN THIS MOTHERFUCKING HALL UNTIL WE'LL BE DEAD TIRED, AT THAT POINT THEY'LL BE SO DAMN FUCKING TIRED OUT THAT THEY'LL FUCKING GIVE UP CHASING US AND DO SOMETHING ELSE!"
"GOOD FUCKING IDEA!"
"L-LET GO OF MY COLLAR, YOU FUCKING CRAZY GIRLS!" Gintoki gagged while Weiss and Kagura continue to drag the former samurai down the hall as they ran.
12 hours later...
Weiss and Kagura were heavily breathing, taking in some deep breaths, from all that running down the hall. "Do-do you think we lost him?" Kagura asked in between her breaths.
"I think so." Weiss answered.
That was when Gintoki got up from the floor and spoke. "Oi. Next time, warn me before you two come charging in like a out of control freight train and drag along the floor by my collar." He said as he rub his poor neck.
"Oh shut the fuck up."
"Oi." The Yorozuya turned their attention... to see the vampire himself, sitting in a chair and reading a newspaper on the table with a fridge in the room and still holding a cup of coffee in his right hand. The three and the vampire just stared at each other in silent for a moment or two before the vampire took a sip of his coffee.
"... WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO APPEAR WHEN WE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK?!" Kagura yelled terrfied, as she didn't want her blood to be suck up dried because she was just a cute little rabbit.
"That's because you three were just running in circle around my house. I wasn't interest in trying to catch you, so I decide to go to my kitchen and taking my nice breakfeast... before you ended up here anyway." The vampire said.
"Ok, okay. That's make sense." Gintoki.
That was when Weiss and Kagura notice the curtain in the kitchen of the castle and instantly walk over to it before grabbing the clothing on each side. "Vampire..." Weiss said before she and Kagura pulled down the curtain, revealing the morning sunlight to the vampire. "MEET YOUR DEMISE!"
When the sunlight strike upon the vampire... it does absolutely nothing to him. There was a moment of silent at this before Kagura then shouted in confusion at this. "WHAT THE HELL?! WHY THE SUN ISN'T TURNING YOU INTO ASHES?!"
Gintoki and Weiss quickly put it together. "Ah, he's the Bram Stroker novel version kind of vampire."
"Yeah, which I can do this." The vampire said as he snap his two finger together, summoning a cloud with sparking lightning striking the floor, causing a lit of fire, before suddenly raining on it, putting it out, before with another snap, disperse immediately, as the vampire resume speaking. "Beside; I have utterly zero interest in drinking your blood."
"You're not?"
"No. I have standards. Which remind me..." The vampire said to himself before he could a bite out of his gaelic bread and chew it for a bit before he swallowed it. "Then again, I am also weaken by the sunlight."
"Why?"
"Because i'm a member of the Yato race. You know, like one of the protagonist of Gintama."
The Yorozuya quickly sunk that information down into the little tiny space they called their own brains. "Oh, a vampire Yato. That far much more worse than normal one."
"Yes. But luckly, i'm able to control my bloodlust. And the fact i'm wearing sun screen." The vampire said before he remember something. "Oh yeah. I forgot to introduce myself to you three and the reader reading this chapter. My name is Nagiyoru (凪夜)." The vampire, who have introduce to the Yorozuya as Nagiyoru, as he stood up from his chair and bow down to them in respect. "I am the sercertary to Yamatoakane Oda. It's a pleasure to meet you."
The Yorozuya were silent before they took a quick look up at the first section of the chapter and look back at Nagiyoru. "You mean the same guy who's introduce yet is not shown in this chapter?" Gintoki said.
"Yes. That's correct. Beside, I only drink those who are acceptable targets, one of them being molesters."
"Oh, okay." They all said.
"So you were the one who was taking the chain-smoker's dogfood?" Kagura asked Nagiyoru, with a shout of "OI, THEY'RE NOT DOGFOOD!" and a shout of "Yeah, they are" along with the battlecry of anger was heard.
"What? No. I'm allergic to mayonnaise."
"Huh? Then who...?" Weiss ask.
"That's possible the traditional-style vampire neighbor living in the abandon castle next door to me."
"WHAT?! THERE'S A VAMPIRE IN ANOTHER ABANDON CASTLE?!"
Later...
There was silent in a single room where the coffin of the traditional-style vampire neighbor was sleeping in the another abandon castle before Yorozuya snuck into the room and open up the coffin, causing the traditional-style vampire neighbor to wake up and rise up from his coffin... before Weiss and Gintoki pull down the curtains. "RISE AND SHINE, MOTHERFUCKER!"
The former samurai and the former heiress pulled down the drapes at the same time, causing sunlight to fill the room itself. The traditional-style vampire neighbor the screamed in pain at the sunlight of touching upon his pale skin as sun itself burning him, before his body turned to ashes.
"HERE YOUR BUCKET OF CANDY!" Kagura shouted as she smashed the bucket of candy into the body remains of traditional-style vampire neighbor, collapsing the remain of the vampire and it was blow into the wind.
"YAY! FREE MONEY!" The Yorozuya cheer as they jump in celebration.
They got their money and this chapter is fucking done. Today, it's Halloween and it is fucking time to fucking celebrate. Now; It's time for the THRILLER! HIT IT WEISS! (Look at A3O for the singing lyrics).
A/N: Yeah, both Yamatoakane Oda and Nagiyoru are both OOC that I'd created for this stupid fanfic that I've made. And other stuffs that I can't really remember.
Anyway, here my new plan; every two (or one, really depends) chapters that I do for The Sky Is the Limit, i'll do either a chapter for Weiss-Tama or Meet Your Monstie, Lute (because I forget it exist sometimes).
Now... HALLY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!