"You're tutoring people? Are you okay?" Yumi asked, placing the back of her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.
I removed her hand from my forehead; seriously, the boisterousness of my best friend sometimes gets the best of me.
"Girl, ask Ms. Dracula's Sis that," I said, scribbling on the notebook again. A minute passed, and when I looked up, she was creepily staring at me instead of doing her homework.
"Eek!" I screeched, completely creeped out.
"I'm not that bad looking..." She pouted at me.
"You look like a cow high on cocaine," I said, laughing, and she arched her eyebrow as if to say 'seriously, dude?'.
I squinted my eyes to give the alien look, and she giggled, "Why am I best friends with you?"
"Because you're even weirder than me, dork," I flicked her nose.
"Ow! Don't do that, jerk!" she over-dramatically cried, and I gave her a 'WTF' look and got back to my homework.
Seeing the trigonometric problems, printed on the white paper, my head hurt. Why did math even exist?
I mean, it might be a little important somewhere, but algebra and trigonometry? Why even?
It's not like 'Hey, the world has been invaded by zombies and in order to fight back, you need to square tan theta'. Just no.
After a minute of concentrating on the problems, I lifted my head and cried out, "It's been eighty four years!"
Yumi looked at me weirdly and continued doing her equations.
"Seriously, dude, you don't even know math, yet you're doing stuff. The hell is happening?" I peeked at her notebook, and what I saw was her drawing flowers on the margins.
"Expected," I stated, slowly clapping.
"Hashtag exposed!" she said, trying to form a hashtag with her fingers and failing miserably.
"Yeah, but I need to submit this tomorrow. What do I even do?" I said, wishing to eat up the math book and gulp it down so I didn't have to see those problems ever again.
"You said you're tutoring Namjoon and his friends, right?" Yumi asked, and I nodded.
"He's rumored to be really smart at math and chemistry, so try asking him?" she suggested.
I thought over it for a moment. Namjoon wasn't that bad a companion, judging from those five minutes of detention I had with them. Sure, Taehyung and Jungkook could be a handful, but what was the harm in asking Namjoon? Plus, I even had his number.
I checked my phone to search for the piece of paper on which he had written his number, and when I drew it out from my back pocket, Yumi wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Don't give me that look, human," I warned her, dialing Namjoon's number on my phone.
About three rings later, he picked up his phone, and said in a voice deeper than usual, "Hello?"
"Yo, man, wassup?" I casually asked.
"Nothing much, but who the hell are you?"
"It's the pizza delivery girl, calling from 'The Pizza Junction'," I started, "Just wanted to update you with our new offers."
"...Go on."
"Get your girlfriend and get a side dish free. Get your wife and get a pizza free. Get both of them together and your hospital bill will be paid by us."
Yumi tried to stifle her laughter, but burst out laughing anyway.
"The heck?!"
"Sorry, Joonie, it's me."
"And who is me?"
"You are Namjoon. By the way, the grammar was wrong."
I heard a defeated sigh come from the other end, "You're making my head ache."
"Well, then, Lisa to the rescue!" I excitedly said.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Sorry, that was a bad joke."
"That's okay, but what's up with you calling me? Am I that attractive that you couldn't wait a day to talk to me, hm?"
"Ooh, yeah, I'm so enamored of you. I mean, I can't wait to kiss you!" I made a kissy sound on the phone, and he stayed silent.
"I hope you understood that was sarcasm," I clarified.
"I ship you guys!" Yumi yelled in the background.
"Wait, Joonie, hold on a second," I spoke on the phone, and then keeping a hand to block my voice from going the other end, I stabbed her elbow lightly with a pen. She screamed, and I said, "And I ship you and the pen. See, you guys just kissed!"
With that, I returned to the call, "Hey, so I wanted to ask you for help."
"For finding a boyfriend? Forget it, no one wants a girl who kills bees with tables and chairs."
"Haha, and by the way, that hurt."
He laughed.
"Oh, come on, let me get to the point," I whined.
"Is there even a point to this conversation?"
"Oh, no, I just wanted to hear your lovely voice!" I said sarcastically, faking enthusiasm, "Boy, nah."
"Now you hurt my feelings."
"So I'm supposed to feel guilty?"
"Yeah, you are. Oh, wait, no, that feeling is meant for humans, not aliens."
"Oh, my god; you are so funny, I just died laughing," I monotonously said.
"Just love the spirit!" he cheered.
"Dude, okay, I have something important to talk about."
"Don't say that's you're gonna confess your love for me!"
"Love? What's that? Is it a type of sandwich?"
"Police need to take this hungry elephant who's talking to me, back to the zoo."
"Boy, you sure watched a hell lot of Disney."
"Are we done dissing each other?"
"Thank God! I thought this conversation was never going to end!"
"I'm just so interesting to talk to, right?"
"No, you're a chicken."
Both of us laughed at my poor attempt at making a joke, and then I stopped midway and said, "Joonie! I'm in a life crisis!"
"What happened?"
"I have to submit this trigonometry homework, and these things are just bouncers."
"Bouncers?"
"Bounce over my head."
"Oh," He stopped for a second, "I might know how to solve them."
"That's why I called you, egg," I said, "Help me, please?"
"Come over, then."