The Malfoy Manual

Enjoy the chapter. Sorry for the late update, been busy making beaded accessories. Very addictive.

III.

Hermione had expected him to be late, but to her surprise, he was even ten minutes early.

He was impeccably dressed in a crisp black outfit, which made him stand out all the more. Okay, who was she kidding? He looked absolutely fucking amazing.

'Hermione, this is Malfoy we're talking about here.' She scolded herself.

But she remembered the roses he sent her and decided to compliment him. Not because she thought he was hot or anything, it was just to reciprocate his act of thoughtfulness.

Not that she had thought the flowers were his way of being thoughtful. It was part of their deal, after all. This was just…being polite. Yeah, that was it. It never hurt to be polite, even to your enemies.

'Okay. Here goes nothing!'

"You look good." She heard herself say. The words floated in the air for a few moments, and there was an awkward pause.

Draco finally opened his mouth to speak.

"You'd look good too, if you actually tried." He said.

Hermione did not like the emphasis on the word 'tried'.

'The nerve of this stinkin' ferret!'

Here she was, thinking he looked goo—no, being polite and paying him a complime—no, it was not a compliment, it was just a formality. Being polite. Yeah, that was it. Here she was, being polite, and that rude idiot had the nerve not to…be polite back!

'As if I could ever think that Malfoy was hot.' She thought, although it was much easier to think about if she wasn't looking at him.

"So." She said loudly, deciding to ignore his comment. "Let's get going."

They walked in silence across the hall. A group of girls were gathered at the entrance of the castle, and they got excited when they saw Draco.

'They're actually swooning, for crying out loud.' Hermione thought irritably. 'What in the world?'

Draco winked at one of them as he walked through the door. The girl actually fainted. Hermione glanced at her disgustedly.

'What is this?' She thought grumpily, folding her arms over her chest. 'An Axe commercial?'

Granted, he was a bit good-looking…no. Just decent-looking. But even so, he was still the most obnoxious man within the range of three hundred galaxies. There was just no way he could still seem attractive after knowing that.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when Draco draped his arm around her shoulders. She glanced at him in shock and then threw his arm off so violently that he had to take a few moments to regain his composure.

"What are you doing, Granger?" He said, sounding very annoyed.

"Rule number 299 clearly states that you are not allowed to touch me unless you asked permission!" Hermione hissed angrily. Draco just stared at her.

"Who has time to read your stupid rule book anyway?" He asked irritably. "Besides, where have you ever found two people who are going out and aren't allowed to touch each other?"

"We're an exception because we're just doing this for pretend!" Hermione replied vehemently.

"What is this? 1989?" Draco muttered. "This is why I never date old-fashioned, goody-goody little nerds like you."

"Well girls like me are too good for you anyway!" Hermione snapped, walking away from him. Draco watched her go, a bit stunned. No girl had ever told him that she was too good for Draco Malfoy. It was always Draco Malfoy that was too good for them.

He felt his lips form into a smirk.

It had taken more than ten minutes to console Hermione, owing to the fact that Draco would not—would never apologize to anyone, much less someone who came from the Harry Potter trio. Thankfully, she was able to calm herself down and then sped off to the Three Broomsticks, where she knew Harry was taking Cho. Draco had followed suit.

"Why would anyone want to date a scumbag like you?" She muttered under her breath.

Draco heard her and merely smirked. "Well, Granger, I'll tell you why. 99 of the people who want to date me are dying to get shagged. And then there's the 1." He looked at her pointedly. "A.K.A., you." He waved the manual in her face for emphasis.

"Put that away!" Hermione hissed. "Harry might see it!"

As if on cue, Harry walked up to their table with a frown on his face.

"Cho went to the bathroom to freshen up." He said. He looked at Hermione and she felt like he was trying to read what she was thinking. She wanted to wipe the stupid, all-knowing smirk off Draco's face, which was distracting her badly.

"Did you want to entertain us, Potter?" Draco said in his leisurely drawl, wrapping one arm around Hermione and giving her a peck on the cheek. Hermione flushed from head to toe out of anger—or so, she tried to make herself believe.

'The nerve of this stinking ferret!' She thought furiously. 'I just freakin' told him about Rule #299!'

Harry frowned at them and was about to open his mouth to speak when Cho came back and linked her arm around Harry. She kissed him on the cheek in greeting.

"I promised Cho that we'd visit the sweets shop." Harry said stiffly.

"I can't wait to see the new delicious things they have for sale." Cho said sweetly, unaware of the tension in her immediate environment. "I'll see you guys later!"

She was smiling at them as she waved goodbye, her other hand held tightly by Harry. They were gone in a few moments.

"I bet 500 galleons that her kiss affected you more than my kiss affected Potty." Draco said confidently. Hermione didn't reply.

She didn't have 500 galleons to lose.

As soon as Harry and Cho had headed towards the sweets shop, Hermione and Draco proceeded to the library to initiate Plan B for the day.

Hermione was leafing through Draco's collection of love letters from his previous and not-so-previous affairs.

"I can't believe you keep them all!" Hermione said incredulously. "And arranged alphabetically by sender too!"

"Yeah, for reference purposes." Draco replied. "I don't quite remember every single girl I've ever slept with, so they make for an easy reference."

Hermione picked up a particularly pink and scented one.

Dear Dracokins,

All day and all night long, I dream of you and me--

Hermione turned bright red.

"Do you have any, uh, non-X-rated ones?" She asked quickly, still pink from the letter that she had read. Draco merely shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't exactly memorize them." He replied. Hermione sighed.

Finally, she came across one that was decent. It was simple and sweet. She looked at the name at the bottom of the page.

"Myrtle?! As in Moaning Myrtle?" She asked incredulously. Draco looked bored.

"I have no idea, okay? Just hurry up so I can go." He was really getting anxious to leave.

Hermione sighed again.

"Okay, fine. I'll choose this." She said, handing him the letter. Draco copied it by hand quickly and practically shoved it in her hands.

"There. Can I go now?" He asked, a bit hesitantly. Hermione nodded absent-mindedly.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow night during our rounds." She said, quickly scanning the note that Draco copied off the original letter. It looked okay enough…

When she looked up, Draco was already gone. She frowned.

'Useless, gorgeous git.' She thought. It took her a full minute to realize what had just crossed her mind.

"What the hell was I thinking?" She said out loud. One student raised his head up from his book and looked at her oddly.

'That obnoxious prick is not hot.' She thought, angry at herself. 'He is an arrogant bastard who just happens to be really nice-looking.'

She mentally slapped herself.

'Maybe I'm just tired.' She thought. Yeah. That was it. She was just tired. She was already imagining things.

'You know you have a C-R-U-S-H on him.' A little voice inside her head said. Hermione forced herself to ignore it.

Later that evening, Hermione pretended to let the piece of paper slip out of her pocket, making sure that it was within Harry's line of vision. She saw him look at it quizzically as she stretched her arms.

"Hermione—" He started.

"I'm going to go to bed now, Harry." Hermione said, being careful not to look at the piece of parchment. It was enchanted with a spell that made whoever lay eyes on it want to read it, at all costs.

"Goodnight!"

She practically raced off to the girls' dormitories, leaving Harry stunned with his mouth slightly open.

Okay. What was that?

His eyes fell on the piece of parchment that had accidentally slipped out of Hermione's pocket. He was curious, but he also wanted to respect Hermione's privacy.

There was just something about it that made him want to read it.

He reached out to pick it up and saw that it was addressed to her. He couldn't resist it. He couldn't explain why he really wanted to read the note, but he just felt that he had to.

Weird. He wasn't always like this about his friends' stuff.

He unfolded the piece of paper and scanned it quickly. With each line, he felt his face grow harder.

He was not happy about this. Not one bit.

Review me. I know you want to. – The Malfoy Manual, Chapter 3