Unrequited Love…. Perhaps?

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#Sorry for bad grammar or tenses#

Disclaimer : I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE

Chapter 3 Confusion

The days after that hectic day fly so fast, and without me realizing it, calculus class is my next class for today.

"Hotaru! Are you going or not?"

"Just relax, Idiot. It's still early."

Ah, I forgot to tell you that the next day after I moved my class, Hotaru suddenly told me that she is in the same class as me now. I want to glomp her and hugged her in a really right embrace, but she threatened to shoot me until I was unconscious if I dare to step further. She is so totally mean, but I'm more than glad that she will accompany me to the new class.

"It's almost 10 o'clock." I retorted in an annoyed voice.

"Your clock is too early. I know that it's still 9 o'clock."

"What?"

"Baka. I tinker with your watch so it is 1 hour earlier."

"What for?" I asked in disbelief.

"Because you are always late, stupid."

"But it's not necessary to make me go 1 hour earlier!"

"It's better early than late, right?"

I grumbled some non coherent words as I follow my really kind best friend's fast pace.

Because we are still early, we decide to grab some breakfast first in the cafeteria, with me paying Hotaru's food. She said that it's all because of me she has to wake unbelievably early, so I have to pay her breakfast. Sigh.

"Hotaru.." I called for my best friend's attention who is busy with her crab stick and crab soup.

Hotaru looked up and stared at me for a while before gave out a cold 'what' to me.

"Why…. Do you think that he is here?" I softly asked, looking down to my salad which was being stabbed continuously and mercilessly by my fork.

Hotaru is silent for a moment before answered, "If only I knew. But I know I would find out his motive later on. I got a feeling that he came here because of you."

I looked up to my purple eyed best friend in horror. "That is so not going to happen."

"It's possible, Mikan. Try to observe his behavior last week."

"Last week? He is a total jerk! He intended to bully me from the start." I am fuming in anger now.

"To get your attention." Hotaru continue my words while taking a spoonful of crab soup.

I frowned. "That's totally impossible. Why does he need to get my attention when all females that have met him gave all their love solely for him?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes. "Obviously because he likes you."

I scoffed. "Like I would believe that. You are the one who said that he is a playboy bastard, and he is married to Luna-sensei, doesn't he?"

"Everybody could get divorce, and I did say that he is a playboy, but does that mean he won't like you?"

My heart started to increase it beats as my brain trying to comprehend the idea of him liking me.

"Alright, you got me." I sighed in frustration. "But I don't want to have a playboy boyfriend!"

"Who said that you would date that jerk? I totally don't recommend him to be your suitor."

"Hotaru! Stop playing words with me." I whined desperately.

I need answer, and here I am consulting with the genius Hotaru Imai who would only answer my question with another question.

Hotaru smirked. "Well, if you expect to get a right answer then ask a right question, not some dumb question."

I pouted. "Are you saying that my questions before are dumb?"

"Yes." She replied with expressionless face.

Okay, that was so straight forward. Ouch.

"You could elaborate with another answer, Hotaru, not a straight forward answer like that. You hurt my feelings." I put my hand over my heart dramatically.

Hotaru looked at me with bored expression. "Cut it off, Mikan. I know that won't hurt your feelings. Do you want to ask or not? If you dare to ask another dumb question, I would hit you with my bazooka baka gun."

I gulped. I don't want to taste the wrath of Hotaru's baka gun. Moreover it's the bazooka type one. It will surely hurt so much.

"So… what do you think I should do, Hotaru?" I asked carefully as I'm afraid that she would pull out her gun and shoot me.

"Do you love him?" Hotaru slowly asked back.

I stay silent for a while.

Do I still love him?

All this time I always said that I hate him to the core, but deep down, I know that my heart still beats for him. It shows by the way he always peaked my interest, and how much effort I put just to avoid him because I know, that if he shows me another unfaithfulness – although I'm not his girlfriend or whatever it is – I would be hurt, deeply.

"I think I would say yes to your question." I muttered softly.

"You think?" Hotaru arched her left eyebrow.

"No, I mean, yes I still love him."

"If you still love him, what will you do then? Knowing that there is a possibility for him to like you, and he is a total playboy, jerk, bastard or anything that is qualified to be kicked out to the moon."

"I'm still not sure about your theory, Hotaru. But I really don't want to be hurt again just because some unfaithful bastard."

"My theory? About him liking you?"

I nodded. "Yes, that."

"I will find a way to convince you about that. About you don't want to be hurt again, well, this world need struggle. If you want something, you must fight for it, Mikan. Nothing comes free. Everything comes with price, and you must pay it."

Just for information, when Hotaru calls me Mikan, it means that she is in serious mode.

Okay, so she is really serious now.

"I know about that Hotaru, but is it really worth it for me to struggle for Natsume? He even doesn't want me anymore." I replied bitterly, playing with my salad again. "I don't want to pay price for someone who doesn't appreciate me."

"It's your choice. I just want to state fact. But if you ask about my opinion, it's not worth it. You can have a better life if you would just move on and find another man who would appreciate you as a woman."

When I heard what Hotaru said, it feels like a knife pierce through my heart. It's like the reality hit me with its weight.

"Looking at your face now, I know that you don't want to give up. You want to fight." Hotaru commented nonchalantly. "All of your answer about you thinking it's not worth it is just your defense, because you are scared of hurting again."

I chomp on my salad, finally taking some bite from the unrecognizable veggies while thinking about all that Hotaru has said.

"Is it a stupid decision if I choose to take the risk of hurting again?" I asked her, looking straight into her emotionless eyes.

"It is stupid." Hotaru replied, deadpanned.

I sighed. "So if it's stupid why didn't you prevent me from doing that?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes, annoyance clearly shown on her face. "I already did that, baka. I said that it's stupid, and I said that it's better for you to find another man. But you are my best friend, I want you to pursue your own happiness. That, if he makes you happy."

It took me one full minute to process that Hotaru has just said that I am her best friend.

"Hotaruu, you called me your best friend." I got teary eyed when I finally sure that she called me that.

Hotaru put her hand on my face in attempt to prevent me from hugging her and got her expensive clothes covered in my snot. "Stop it, baka. I will really shoot you this time." She threatened me in a menacing voice.

I quickly scrambled away and wipe away my tears and snot using tissue which was given by Hotaru.

"But what if he done something that will hurt me again? You won't regret that you support my decision?"

Hotaru shrugged. "I will just find a way to torture him. That's easy. So you won't be alone in regretting your decision."

That's scary.

My best friend's answer is really frightening.

"Oh, and by the way, I didn't support your stupid decision. I just do nothing to prevent you from doing some stupid action." She said again while standing up, putting away her empty bowls, plates, and glass, and pick up her bag.

I pouted. "You are so mean, Hotaru!"

"I am not. I give you some advice, didn't I?"

"But still, your answer is mean."

"Whatever. Just hurry up, baka. We will be late." She walked away gracefully with books on her hand and bag on her back.

"Wait for me!" I scrambled up and quickly pick up my bag, running to catch up with Hotaru's fast pace.

I know that Hotaru isn't the kindest person in the whole world, well everybody know that she is totally a cold hearted one. But she is the best of all friends I ever have, my ice queen.

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