Chapter 3

Six Months Later

Eric was panicked and frantic but held it in under that mask he was perfecting in such a short time. He had to out of self preservation, out of the need for survival. He should be worrying about himself right now. Worrying about how he could mask the Dauntless tendencies he knew were ruling him but also that he always had and would always have Erudite ones too. That was dangerous for him even more so given who his damn Aunt was and what she expected of him. He should be worried about the early aptitude test he would be given in a few months.

He should be worried about all that but all he could think about was Lilah. It had been four days and he hadn't seen her. He wondered if he was just missing her or he was worried for nothing at first. So he had hacked into the school attendance system and she hadn't been seen for a total of four days as well. Four days she had been absent and she had never been gone so long. He had seen her brother and that made him all the more worried.

He didn't like her brother just because he thought him a coward for allowing their fuck of a father to lay hands on her. How could a brother, a twin brother, not want to die before he allowed that? That was a matter and subject for another day. He had followed him home for two days hoping to catch a sight of her. Maybe she was just ill and couldn't go to school but he might see her in a window.

He had no such luck so today he was going to try a different avenue; her friends. They were Erudite and shared lunch with him. He was just waiting for them to get there and he would talk to them whether they liked it or not.

When they finally made their way in and had taken seats he stalked his way over quickly and sat down. They looked at him startled. Savannah had instantly went tense and glared at him. "What do you want Coulter?"

She wasn't in any mood for any of his shit he might want to start. Lilah was missing and they were worried as hell about her.

Alicia put her hand on Savannah's and shook her head slightly. Lilah as their very best friend so they knew that she had some kind of attraction to Eric. They also knew that he seemed to for her as well. What Savannah didn't know but she did was that Eric had even helped them a few times when sneaking Lilah into Erudite. She only knew that because she had caught him trying to do it discreetly. She hadn't said anything to him and knew by his look to her he didn't want her to either.

She had also had a feeling why he was at their table right now. "We don't know where she is Eric. We are just as worried. She has never missed this long before." Alicia said quietly as she moved her hand from Savannah and tried to act casual as she moved items around on her tray.

"How long is normal?" Eric hid his clenched fists under the table and kept his face an emotionless mask with his eyes cold and dead looking.

"A day maybe two at most." Savannah whispered strained and looking down.

Eric nodded stiffly. "I will find out what is going on. What can I expect?"

He was really asking what he needed to prepare for and they all knew it. Alicia took a breath and looked at him. "Prepare for anything Eric. Who knows what that man has done to her."

Savannah wanted to growl at her saying it out loud but she knew it was of no use. He had already known and if he was going to use it against her he would have just after he found out.

Eric nodded one more time and then pushed away from the table to stalk away. He had plans to make and supplies to obtain. It would mean raiding his parents personal stash and maybe even going to see them at the hospital. The ever loyal and attentive son paying his respects to his parents for an impromptu dinner. He didn't care if it got him the shit that might be needed to save Lilah's life.

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It wasn't even dawn and he had been waiting for at least an hour. He knew that Abnegation leaders were always up at the ass end of dawn to start handing out food before heading to The Hub and start their business day. He just had to wait for the fuck that called himself a father and then the brother to leave before he could make his way in.

When he finally saw both leaving he made his way. He had scouted it out over his last few times he had been here and watched both the brother and father make their way in. He had also obtained some grey clothing. It wasn't exactly like the Abnegation but it was what he could get in a pinch and for his frame.

The door wasn't locked. They never were here he was told. He looked around the first floor to start with. It was pristine and cold. There was no life only misery here. He was quiet when he made his way up the stairs. He knew which door was hers by it being closed while the others were open and by the soft whimpers coming from within.

He was torn. Whimpering meant she was still alive. It also meant she could be close to death or in a state he wasn't sure he could handle seeing her in. Seeing her in it and handling not going and making the man that did it to her suffer in every way he knew possible for as long as he could possibly make him suffer before he ended him.

He took a breath and opened the door quietly. She was laying on her stomach on the bed. He could already tell from the redness that stuck to the thin nightgown on her that her beating was severe. His face contorted in anger and pain at seeing her this way. He moved quickly to her not even thinking she might panic at being touched or that she might even in her pain try and fight back.

She tried to fight back but while whimpering the whole time. His heart clenched and he pushed down the anger boiling in him. "Shush Lil's. It's just me. I promise I won't hurt you baby."

He soothed her as he held her hands from trying to flail and rip open the gashes across her back. The gashes weren't as bad as he thought. What was bad was the massive bruising up and down her ribs, thighs and legs that he could see through the painfully thin nightgown.

Lilah frowned and focused on the voice and touch of who was near her. "Eric?" She whispered in a hoarse voice. Broken by her pain and the screams of rage from when she had fought back. Fought back and left a few of her own marks this time.

"It's me baby." He took a deep breath and knelt beside the bed so she could see him now that he knew she wouldn't try and move.

"Eric." She sighed when he came into view. Then her eyes got wide and she gasped. "Eric you have to go. You can't be here...she knows. She watches me." She gets panicked and tries to move from the bed, sitting up and trying to usher him out.

Eric shook his head scowling. "I'm not going anywhere Lilah not until I at least get you taken care of." She wasn't stopping from getting up so he rose enough to sit on the bed beside her and put his arms around her gently.

"You don't understand, Eric. Jeanine is watching my father and us." She looked at him with wild eyes and saw it dawn on him. He closed his eyes and let out a hiss of air.

Of course she would. She would want to get any bit of dirt on Marcus that she could. "Leaving wouldn't help if she has already seen me." He opens his eyes and firmly holds hers. "I'm not leaving until I get you taken care of baby."

The endearment washes over her and she sighs heavily then leans into him. "There isn't anything you can do, Eric. Tobias cleans everything as much as he can and treats it. We don't have much medicine and his back is worse than mine. I just have more injuries that are internal. If they don't heal then….they never will I guess."

Eric files away the part about her brother as he scowls at her. "You aren't giving up on me. Do you really think I wouldn't come here expecting something like this if not worse." His voice breaks a little at that because he had expected the worst. He expected to find her either dead, dying or vanished. Which would mean that she was truly gone and her father had done away with her body.

"I don't want to give up Eric." Lilah said simply as he pulled her to him in a gentle hug.

"Good because you aren't done yet. Not for a very, very long time if I have anything to say about it." Eric cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. "I brought medicine for you Lil's. Some of it I have to apply directly to the places it is needed. Then I have a few serums for you to drink. I promise they are all safe and I would n…."

Lilah pulls back and scoffs at him. "Eric, I trust you. Even before you did this I would have and did trust you."

Her words and conviction flood him with warmth and happiness and he can't help the smile that comes over his face. "Good. That's good." He clears his throat and looks at the bag by his feet. "Lilah, you are going to need to take off your nightgown and it would be better if we got you cleaned in the shower or something."

Lilah sighed and nodded. Tobias hadn't been able to do much for himself so he couldn't help her either. "Can you help me Eric?"

"Of course Lil's. I just want you to know I will only be helping you. You don't have to worry I will try something at all." Eric was blushing and avoiding looking at her.

She was blushing too but she took his hand. "I know Eric."

With a nod he took her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom that was attached to her room. He sat her on the toilet gently then moved to start the shower. She directed him to where she had another nightgown, where the towels were, her under things and then the washcloths.

He told her he had brought his own soap that was made for open wounds so he didn't need any of that. Something that told him that she must have had episodes where she was so hurt she could barely stand was a foldable shower chair. It was a walk in shower, small, but it would fit them both.

Decision made he set up the chair, made sure of the temperature and started to help her get undressed. He had her leave the underwear on for that moment and then he started to undress.

"What are you doing?" She asked not with fear but slight embarrassment in a tired voice. Just this much was taking her energy that she barely had to begin with.

"I can't clean you unless I am in there with you Lilah." His tone brooked no argument and he was relieved when she didn't seem to be about to give him any.

Without another word he lifted her gently again and put her in the chair then began working on her gently. He cleaned all of the gashes with the soap that would not only clean the wounds but would also numb the area slightly. It also had agents that worked to kill any infection that might be spreading. Some of them he had to reopen to be able to get to and he gritted his teeth with every muffled moan and sob she rarely allowed out.

As much as he was so very angry, beyond angry right now, he was also feeling so much pride in her. She fought when she could barely move. She refused to give up and she refused to give in to the screams of pain he knew had to be longing to tear through her. She was everything, even in his teenage years, that he could hope for finding in the girl of his dreams. She was made for him and he promised that he would find it in himself to see that they were together.

As he worked he talked to her to distract her but also to take this opportunity for her to get to know him. He told her about his studies or things he enjoyed. She asked questions here and there and he could tell his distraction was working by the small smile on her face. He could also tell the numbing agent was working. He didn't stop at just cleaning her back. He knew she had probably hadn't had a proper wash in days so he made sure to switch to the normal soap and gently cleaned the rest of her. He even went so far as to wash her hair for her.

She almost fell asleep on him at that part and had him chuckling a little. When he was done he got her wrapped in a towel and then allowed her to remove the old underwear. He dried himself off and shrugged at his own damp briefs. That didn't matter to him and he just pulled them off when she wasn't looking and shoved them into the bag he brought.

He dressed quickly and then carried her back to the bed.

"First you are going to drink these. Once you have that I will have you lay down and rub the gel into the open wounds. Then I am going to see about getting something in you. I didn't know what you had here so I brought some protein drinks and sandwiches. I hope that is ok."

Lilah nodded with heavy eyes. "It's perfect Eric. Thank you."

He smiled a little and kissed her head as he handed her the first vial of serum. She pulled a little face at the taste but otherwise she drank the first, second and third without complaint. When she was done he helped her to lay down. She was laid on her side with her back to him.

He probed a few of the wounds to make sure they weren't infected and they were properly numbed. When she just responded that she felt pressure he nodded and pulled out the syringe he would need.

He had been just going to rub in the gel but some of them were deep. He began to work quickly because the numbing wouldn't last long. When that was done he began to rub in some of the gel into the spots on her ribs, thighs and legs to help with the bruising. The serums would help with the internal injuries. It wouldn't make it all go away in the next day but it would heal much more quickly and allow her to breath properly as well as move around. He had planned on coming back but with his Aunt watching it might not be possible. The thought had him cursing her even more than he had been lately.

"Eric, what are you going to do if she saw you?" Lilah asks quietly. She was afraid for him. She didn't want to cause him trouble. Savannah and Alicia told her what was being said in Erudite about what was expected of him.

Jeanine would see this as a betrayal and it placed him in danger. Her father's drunken rants hinted at how much danger she could place Eric. Her father's rants also revealed how much danger she and her brother were really in.

"I will think of something baby. Don't worry about that right now. She is always disappointed in me these days anyways and I have a feeling it is going to get worse. Even before today it was going to get worse." He muttered a little bitterly.

He had finished and turned her back to face him. She was already looking better. With a smile to her he picked up the nightgown he had been waiting on to help her put on. She nodded with her own smile and let him once again pick her up so that she was sitting upright then dressed her patiently.

His hands were sure and gentle and she could see that his eyes were so focused that she knew he wasn't allowing himself to see her as a girl right now. She was an objective and he focused on a single task at a time. Her smile widened a little because she realized that was much the same way she could be.

When he was done getting her dressed he got them both settled onto the bed where she sat up to where he could hold her and she could eat. He started her out on just the protein drink and they talked as she sipped.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Eric asked finally after they had talked about simple things in each other's lives. As if they were getting to know each other but both feeling as if they already had known each other for much longer and deeper than they thought possible in the short amount of time they had together. Especially considering their complete polar opposite upbringings and the teachings of the factions they were born to.

Lilah sighed, looked to Eric and chewed on her lip in thought of what to tell him. "Jeanine told him what I had been doing. Sneaking into Erudite and that I was friends with two girls from Erudite. She told him some other things that I don't think had anything to do with Tobias or I but he would and can only focus on what we do wrong. Everything is always our fault but more so mine. I apparently offend him just by breathing the same air as he does. Regardless I was due for this. He would have found some excuse or another."

Eric took his hand in hers and fought back the murderous feelings he was having for both of the leaders. He would find some way to make them pay. "You don't plan on seeing your friends again."

It wasn't a question. He already knew the answer. She would fear for them and she should. Jeanine was going to find some way to make the two Erudite dependents pay for betraying their faction.

Lilah's eyes filled with tears and she nodded. "You know I have to do it. She is already going to find a way to hurt them but if we keep on she will make it worse. I can handle anything she does to me or what she can cause to happen to me. I can't handle what she might do to them…..or you Eric. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me."

Eric cupped her cheek and stroked his thumb lightly over it. They held eyes for long minutes. Neither spoke for a while until Lilah blushed and looked at him through her lashes shyly. "Eric, will you kiss me?" Her tone was soft and unsure.

He smirked a little at her and brushed his nose against hers. "I think that was my line, Lilah. Me asking if it would be alright to kiss you."

Lilah grinned impishly and gave a small giggle. "Far be it from me to steal your thunder then. Ask away."

Eric gave a small laugh and then pulled away just enough to see her eyes and turned serious. "Lilah, may I kiss you?" His just deepening voice was soft and while it wasn't a plea it felt much more than just him asking for a simple kiss.

Lilah let out a little sigh with the words 'yes please' but he was already moving in. It started sweet and gentle as his hands went to the sides of her face in the barest of touches. They began with small presses of their lips to each other's. Testing the feel and fit until they both felt the hunger start to build and Eric tentatively used his tongue to beg for permission to her mouth.

They both gave innocent moans into each other's mouths when contact was made. It was long minutes that they spent just kissing and exploring. Somewhere in all of that he had moved them to be laying side by side on the bed, with him raised above her.

When he realized what position they were in and where his hands had started to wander to he blushed and went to pull away.

Lilah stopped him though and looked at him with newly awakened desire but also an unspoken question. She wanted him and had known from her talks with Alicia and Savannah that first times should be shared with someone you cared about. She knew she wouldn't be able to see him after today. It would be too dangerous for them both. She also knew she wanted him to be her first and they may never get a chance like right now.

"Eric, I have never…." she stopped and swallowed as she met his eyes and saw he knew where she was going with this "...but I want it to be you." She finished softly but firmly.

The darkening of his eyes and the flaring of his nostrils sent shivers through her. She saw his obvious desire for her but also his debate and worry. She frowned at his expression as he seemed to be looking her over.

Maybe she wasn't attractive enough? Maybe even though he seemed to care he didn't want to get involved with a stiff in that way?

"Stop Lilah." Eric commanded her as he gripped her chin in his hand. He had seen the emotions passing over her eyes and it killed him to see that. "I would love nothing more baby. I was just worried about hurting you more. That and…" now it was his turn to stop and blush "...I have never either Lilah. I want it to be you too but I also want something else."

She felt a rush of pleasure at the fact that he not only wanted her but they would be each other's firsts. She smiled at him and her forehead furrowed with wondering at what else he needed to ask. "Tell me."

Eric took a breath before he kissed her softly once and then pulled back to look at her again. "I know we might not have more than today. At least not until choosing, Lilah. But I want to be able to consider you mine and me yours. I want us to promise each other that no matter what, when the time comes we be together after our choosing. That is what I want. If we do this today I want us to be together once we choose."

Lilah's eyes filled with tears because she wished with all her might that was possible. "Eric, I can't go to Erudite. I won't stay here of course but I have always known where I would be going. I know your Aunt has plans….."

Eric stops her with a growl and kisses her fiercely before he pulls back a little and holds her eyes. "You have to know I can't stay there either, Lilah. I can't be what they want me to be. I have always known where I was going too and we both know that is the same place you are going. I want us to promise each other, that not only will we have the courage to make that choice, but that it will be together."

She was lost for words but she smiled with tears in her eyes as she nodded. "Together."

Eric let out a relieved breath as he smiled before he claimed her mouth again. This time they let the passion, slightly awkward and new, take over them. He was still gentle and hesitant but only when moving Lilah around. There was a part of his mind that was telling him that if he really cared about her he would stop and let her heal. That was being drowned out by the selfish and primal desire that he needed to take this and her now. He couldn't and wouldn't risk letting her find someone else if they should be separated until their choosing in two years. This would seal them to each other and there was nothing that could stop either of them at this point.

Yet despite that base instinct to join together that felt urgent and primal he was still gentle and loving in their first time. It was Lilah who had drove them to a faster pace when she saw how much he was restraining himself once her pain of a first time passed.

They were a match in every way. Responding to the slightest touch of each other's unspoken wishes or wants. Their bodies picked up on each desire and adjusted accordingly while they held eyes in looks of intensity and feeling.

When the end of it came they clung together as Eric laid gentle kiss not only over her face but over every bruise, scar and wound.

"Beautiful" He whispered over and over. Not just because it was true but because he needed her to know and remember that at their worst they are at their most beautiful for each other. Because that is the real them. There would be no walls or hiding those parts of themselves from the other.

He let her see all of him. All that he hid even from himself sometimes. She did the same and they knew there was no other option but to be together in them end. There would never be anyone else in the world that could accept them for everything they were and everything they would never be.

They would never be truly good. Their pasts and the way they were raised almost prohibited it. They would never be fully bad either. For those same reasons they had an ingrained sense of justice. Even if that justice isn't what their society would deem correct or even remotely acceptable.

While Eric had no family he felt truly protective over and loved as Lilah loved Tobias he also had a deep desire for that. A desire for one of his own and with her. They also believed deeply that when they made it to their new home that they would look upon those of their faction as family. They might not love them as fiercely but they both knew they would protect them just as much.

All of this and more was shared without ever having to speak a word. Eric held her for as long as he could and they dared to. He got her to eat a bit more and then he went about erasing his presence from the home while making sure she was cleaned and mending.

It killed him leaving her. He wanted so badly to just scoop her up and say fuck it to the city and everyone in it then run away with her. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad, really bad, was on the horizon.

He could almost guarantee it with his Aunt if she did see him coming and going. Neither could have predicted what did happen in the end.