Here's ch 3 ^^ I'm on a roll with this story. For anyone who is wondering yes I am still doing my sequel to better to have loved and lost, I plan to start it soon. Anyways, I own nothing, and enjoy

"Okay, let's see…Grell Sutcliff, we are ready for you now."

The doctor opened the door to the waiting room and flipped through his clipboard a bit before summoning the redheaded shinigami to follow him to the exam rooms in the back of the clinic. When the floor nurse had come to wake him that morning she had of course discovered what he had done. She pried him for information, namely where the object he had used was so she could confiscate it, and had gained a broken nose for her trouble.

Now Grell was the one in trouble; of course, to hit a lady was a very serious offense. But for now the focus of the staff was his arm; why he had done it and how they could stop it, because either he was a master at hiding things or knew of ways to use his environment to harm himself. Either way, they had to get to the bottom of it if he had any hope of recovery; first on the agenda however was getting him to cooperate.

He stood and followed the young black haired man, refusing to speak or acknowledge him at all, as was expected. He led Grell into the first room they came to and gestured to the chair across from the table that held all the basic medical supplies. "Have a seat Mr. Sutcliff."

Grell complied and plopped down into the chair, his arms folded across his chest and his eyes trained to the ground; he was determined to remain this way no matter what the doctor said. All he wanted was to retreat to the safety of his room and to never be bothered by these people again, but it would seem that wasn't going to happen.

The doctor tried to engage a conversation with the redhead by speaking of something light and neutral. "Alright Grell, how are you doing today? It's quite a beautiful day outside isn't it?"

Inwardly Grell scoffed; did this imbecile honestly thinking talking about the weather would suddenly bring him out of hiding? He must be a complete idiot. On the outside however the shinigami gave no sign of acknowledgement.

The man sighed, and patiently tried again. "Grell I know you don't want to be here and you don't want to talk to me; most of our new patients don't either. But you have to understand that you have a problem; you are ill, and your head is messed up due to the trauma you've suffered, and-"

"How the hell would you know anything about my trauma?" Grell snarled, breaking his vow to himself, but he couldn't listen to this man prattle on about something he knew nothing of; no one did, except for Grell. They didn't know, and they could never understand. So why would he waste his time talking to them?

Well, in Dr. Wallace's mind, this was some progress, so he continued. "I know your story Grell, and I know what you went through. I read your file-"

"Stop. Right now." Grell stood and balled his hands into tight fists, speaking through clenched teeth; it was actually a fairly menacing sight. "You think, just because you read a damn file that you know what I've been through? Because you wear that hideous white coat it qualifies you to judge me and make assumptions? What you better do is shut your damn mouth before I knock your teeth into your throat." Grell hissed, his eyes burning. Dr. Wallace stood and made one last attempt to calm the hotheaded man, but of course it was to no avail.

"Grell, do not speak that way or make threats like that, if you keep this up we will have to restrain you. Please just sit down and calm yourself; we can get through this together, you just have to let me in."

"Hah! What a laughable idea. You really have no clue what you're talking about."

"Grell, what happened to your mother was-"

And at that point Grell's fist made contact with the young doctor's face, causing him to stumble back and clutch his bleeding mouth.

"Don't you ever ever talk about her! You have absolutely no right! And don't come near me again or I swear I'll kill you!" Grell's eyes were utterly crazed by the time he'd finished speaking, and then he was running; unsure of where he was going exactly, but he knew somewhere far away from here. He ran out of the medical ward and down the hallway, into the portion of the building he believed his room was in; maybe if he shut the door and pushed all the furniture up against it they wouldn't be able to get to him.

Or maybe he should just lock himself in the bathroom and end it all.

He'd been unable to prevent tears from springing into his eyes much to his dismay and they blinded him as he ran; blinded him so that he couldn't see the young man he was about to crash into until it was too late and Grell was laying on top of him. It took him a minute to realize what had happened, disoriented as he was, but once he did he jumped off of the stranger and got to his feet, hiding his face in shame.

"Why don't you watch where you're going." He mumbled weakly, though he knew the collision had been entirely his fault.

However, the young man in front of him took no offense; rather he bowed and spoke gently to the redhead. "My apologies, it's just you were running so fast I didn't have time to move. I do hope you are not injured."

Now Grell couldn't help but look up; the man's voice was beautiful; deep yet melodic at the same time. Was that even possible? Anyway, he had to see what the man he'd rudely run into looked like; when he did he was taken, stunned into silence for a moment.

The young man in front of him was one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen; his slightly unkempt raven hair and bright golden eyes stood out perfectly against his flawless ivory skin; he wore dark rimmed glasses and dark slightly loose clothing. He seemed very thin and a little frail, which made Grell curious. Not that he cared of course. He shook his head to clear it, and then eyed the other boy suspiciously.

"No, I'm not injured, and you best be glad for that. Now I must be going, good day." Grell didn't want to walk away from the beautiful raven-haired boy, not at all, but he couldn't allow himself to become soft or lose sight of his goal; he turned to walk away and William didn't stop him, although he was a bit concerned and put off by the redhead's rude and standoffish behavior, not to mention that it was obvious he'd been crying. But William had his own problems to worry about and he wasn't a counselor, and in any case he didn't do too well with emotions, so he simply let it go and continued his trek down the hallway in search of his new room he had been assigned.

Back in his own room Grell slammed the door shut and flopped down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and screaming at the top of his lungs; he screamed until his throat was numb and his voice raspy, then he cried until he became exhausted and fell asleep.

William had finally located his new room; he knocked on the closed door softly, remembering that he had a roommate whom was already living here, and waited. When he got no response he slowly opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind him before looking around and taking in his surroundings; compared to his room at home of course this room was quite small and shabby, but he really didn't care much for such things, so he knew he would be comfortable here. Although he had to admit he would miss Alfred; his butler was more like a friend to him, and it would be hard to get through the day without him. His eyes scanned the other side of the room briefly at first, then honed in on his apparent roommate; the redheaded boy from before was sprawled out on his own bed, fast asleep. William felt a bit nervous now; that boy had not been nice at all, and it seemed he was a bit mentally unsound. Then again, he guessed they all were, otherwise why would they be here? And William remembered that he'd been crying; perhaps he was just having a bad day. Regardless, he had a feeling it was going to be hard to get along with him. He sighed and went to his own bed, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling, unsure of what to do; wait for the boy to wake up he supposed. He pulled a book out from one of his bags, having packed several of his favorites, then opened it and began reading, allowing it to transport him somewhere else, somewhere far away, somewhere safe and beautiful and magical.

Several hours later Grell woke with a start; sweat was pouring down his face and his breathing was labored. He sat up, clutching his head in his hand and trying to calm himself. "Fucking nightmare." He muttered to himself. He stood, a bit shaky, snatched the razor out from his mattress and stalked into the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door because no one was around; or so he thought.

When he emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, blood dripping from his arm, he looked up and nearly fell over, shock and panic evident on his face. There was another boy sitting on the bed on the other side of the room, watching him calmly, seemingly waiting for him to speak; not only that, it was the same boy he'd run into in the hallway earlier. He gaped for a moment before he regained his composure and gave the dark haired boy a look that could freeze hell. "What are you looking at? This isn't a show you know, so feel free to avert your fucking eyes."

"Why did you do that?" William couldn't help the words that spilled from his mouth, though he instantly regretted it, afraid his question would send the redhead into a frenzy.

Grell growled at him as was his usual response. "Why the hell would I tell you that?"

William recoiled a bit; he wasn't used to being spoken to like that. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"I don't care, so don't bother explaining." Grell sighed and turned away from William, taking his first aid kit out from under his bed. "Look, I suppose we will be roommates from now on, so just leave me alone and we'll get along fine; I have no desire to talk or be friends with you, and quite frankly I don't care why you're here. Just stay out of my way." Without waiting for a response Grell went back into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

Once inside, he slumped against the door and sunk to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and allowing a few tears to fall; he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. These dreams were happening more and more frequently and he couldn't get that man's voice out of his head; it played over and over, haunting him, unraveling his sanity.

"He was right, I'm worthless, and a filthy fag!"

He was disgusted with himself; his thoughts of ending it all returned.

"Why shouldn't I?" He stood and walked to the sink, turning the water on and running his arm under it, watching as the blood ran into the sink and stained the white porcelain; the crimson soothed him, it reminded him of her; if he closed his eyes he could almost feel her beside him, almost touch her silky red hair that he used to love running his fingers through.

He slumped against the cabinet now, allowing his head to slump forward and his eyes to close, willing himself to slip into a dream where his mother was still here, where she'd never been taken from him; where he could feel happiness, like a deep crimson sunset , setting his eyes and his heart ablaze with its warm peaceful glow.

Meh, I couldn't come up with anything better for the ending. What's wrong with me today?

Hetalia, that's what's wrong. I started watching it on a friend's suggestion and it is major addictive.

Anyway, I hope this chapter is alright; not much interaction between them yet, but that will change. I'm thinking William isn't going to have too hard of a time recovering, Grell of course will be another story.

Also, I am going to start the process of moving this story to . They invited me to join their writing team after reading my work here which was quite exciting to me :D I guess I will still post it here, but I would very much appreciate it if you would follow me there as well, and leave me a review. This weekend is con weekend for me, I'm cosplaying Grell, Pikachu and Ciel, and I'm very excited. So it may be a week or so before the next chapter goes up.

Thank you all for your continued support, any questions/comments/suggestions are always welcome.