Would just like to mention that the person I contacted about beta-reading for me is not responding, and I have problems with tenses too. Please contact me about any wrong things in other languages.
FAIL
DEFINITION: When something is not a "win", it is this. For more information, look up "win".
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WIN
DEFINITION: When something that is not a "fail", it is this. For more information, look up "fail".
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The "walking up stairs together" plan suggested by Feliciano was, and still is the first word.
The gun-type thing Vash somehow put together with stuff from his and Lili's pockets was, and still is the second word, which is a one of the major reasons why the plan became what it is now, which is the first word.
Vash walks faster than the rest of the group, and Lili could only follow him. One day, as everybody else woke up on the stairs (for whatever reason "sleep" still exists besides the fact that it is comfortable), they were gone.
"Good thing they are, too." Commented Roderich. Elizabeta added a comment about never knowing Roderich was such a "snarker".
And the days went on, with a rather dull schedule of waking up, walking, and falling asleep.
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"You mean, we're just supposed to be doing this? Just this? Walking up glass sparkly stairs?"
Lovino waved his hands in the air, to make a point.
"No, Lovino, none of us mean anything. Why were you waving your hands, by the way, besides the fact that you can't talk if you don't?" Elizabeta decided to imitate her ex-husband's "snarkiness", and added a harmless smile for effect and originality.
"Dammit, it's all that useless bastard's fault! And I wave my hands because I want to make a point!" Angry fingers pointed at Feliciano, as Lovino's rant became a shout, and everybody decided to stop and listen to it, for some reason.
"Ve?! Big brother? Did I do something?"
"And why were you waving your hands while you were explaining that you wave your hands around to make points? Were you trying to make a point about making a point? Because that seems to be quite a pointless activity to become engaged in." Roderich expertly put in. He actually enjoys watching people argue, but does not enjoy actually taking part in the argument. Just some bits of encouragement here and there, to keep the show boring enough to send a cat off a roof, but interesting enough to make its way into a soap opera somehow.
"Fuck you aristocrat, I just do it, okay? So shut the hell up, and let me continue my hand waving! Where do these "heaven" guys keep their tomatoes?!" Still engaging in the pointless activity of waving his hand while talking, Lovino demanded.
"I've actually been wondering too, Lovi. I haven't seen any tomato trees around h-"
"Tomatoes do not grow on trees. They grow on tomato plants, you idiot Spaniard! Watch the credibility of your sentences before-"
"Ooh, Lovi, look at the unico-"
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT CREDIBILITY?"
"What about a unicorn?"
And suddenly there were even more intruders upon the happily arguing/watching-the-argument-with-idiotic-or-sadi stic-interest group of used-to-know-each-other people.
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"And what the fuck are you three doing here?"
"Ohonhon, what an interesting coincidence this is-"
"Okay, have you guys seen the book named 'The Situation'? 'Cause I, the HERO, was suggested by a friend to read it, and I ain't seen it anywhere!"
"'Ain't' is not a word, you dimwit. And I'm, not, your friend or a-anything! I-I just thought you were too pathetic."
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"¡Hola, Francis!"
"Antonio, mon ami! I see you are here too?"
"Yes! But as long as I am with my Lovi, I will make it through! Why are you here?"
"Same reason as you, ami."
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"Ah, isn't it the deserter Briton."
"What do you mean, deserter?"
"Left me on my own with that self-proclaimed Prussian."
"What are you talking ab-"
"All alone, in a rather muddy patch of land, I might add."
"I-I-I just wanted to beat the bloody hell out of that frog over there!"
"My new suit! You still owe me!"
"Wait-"
"I needed stitches afterwards! I couldn't sit for a month!"
"Roderich, what happened? Describe it to me in detail!"
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"Ve! I haven't found that book yet, but heaven must have a library!"
"Yeah, you're totally right! Me, the HERO and you, Feliciano, will go on an adventure to find 'The Situation' and read it!"
"Yay!"
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Occasionally Lovino Vargas couldn't help but wonder why Fate has left him alone, in a group of absolute morons. His first theory was that he offended the wrong person during his previous life. This theory was disproved by the fact that apparently the concepts of "previous life" and "afterlife" do not exist. His second theory, and his current one, is that he is just unlucky.
That is in fact, the truth.
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"Tell me, Roderich!"
"No, I-"
"I always helped you when you were weak! And I did so much cleaning for you when we were alive!"
"No, my room cleaned itself."
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Despite showing it often, Lovino rarely gets angry.
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ANGER
DEFINITION: The thing, when appearing in fiction, is a red haze above everything. That is total bullshit, which is why most people think they rarely feel anger. Technically, any sense of injustice you experience is anger. Some people may argue that they don't experience senses of injustice. They are expressing total bullshit, and have all taken back their comments. If they haven't yet, they will.
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Those who argued were all tortured with the concept of 'shitty edits about your face' and shot privately, their deaths covered up, and had complicated documents sent to them by insurance companies about editors threatening them with 'shitty edits about your mother' and claiming that the arguer does not exist and therefore will not receive anything, similarly to those who argued previously, and about everybody else who bought insurance in the Universe.
The designer of the Universe likes the insurance company in question's philosophy.
The only conclusion to draw out of this event, is that one should not argue with editors.
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"This weatherman is predicting 99% of a shitstorm, and it's coming right at you motherfuckers!" Screamed Lovino.
"Calm down, Lovi, where did you get those tomatoes?"
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MALLETSPACE
DEFINITION: An incredibly complex concept. Every time someone pulls something out of 'thin air', they are actually pulling it out of malletspace. The things one can pull out of malletspace is of an infinite amount, and usually those of no importance whatsoever to what is going on at the moment.
The way, to pull something out of malletspace, is that it happens at random. Your hand instinctively does a pulling motion, and you have the object.
There is no knack.
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"SHUT UP."
"Ooh, okay, the boss will shut up. Yes he will. Yes he is doing it. Fusosososo…"
"AND STOP TALKING FROM THE THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW."
This is when the entire group turned.
"Oi, you git. Only I am allowed to correct other people's English." Being the Brit of the group, and the one Roderich was acquainted with, Arthur Kirkland naturally felt a sense of injustice at this.
"Yeah, Artie's the only one out of you peoples-"
"GRAMMAR! 'People' is a plural in itself!"
"See? And-KYAAAAA!"
The shitstorm a certain weatherman predicted earlier has arrived.
Lovino was lucky in that the designer of the Universe was feeling nice, and sent him enough tomatoes to send everyone besides Antonio into a tomato-phobia.
No, the designer of the Universe is usually never nice.
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Arthur, Alfred and Francis walked in a row.
Lovino wanted to get to the front of the group. So he tried to walk alongside them.
As mentioned previously, the stairs were designed for exactly three people. Unfortunately nobody in the group knew that.
Lovino complained about falling off the side. After a sharp turn he almost actually fell off the side. Then he continued to complain about falling off the side.
Alfred thought that maybe life could be easier for everyone else if Lovino just fell off the side.
So he gave him a friendly shove, and because gravity was not disabled on the Stairway to Heaven-because or else, there will be no point to have stairs, down Lovino went.
"CHIGIIIIIIIIIII!"