" I so don't need this right now. I mean, seriously, I was hoping to clear my head for a bit, get away from all the stupid crap going on in my stupid life, but no. That's too much to ask. Of course it is. One day to myself without having to worry about all the stupid people in this stupid city who can't go one stupid day without nearly getting themselves killed – that was never going to happen!"

Ugh.

"But then again, this is all coming from the guy swinging from skyscrapers in skin-tight red and blue pyjamas. Doesn't exactly have 'quiet life' written all over it, does it? I don't know why I thought putting on the costume would be a good way to get some peace. But then I don't seem to get a lot of peace when I'm out of the costume, so I might as well get some fresh air and exercise, right? So instead of wasting time as Peter Parker, whom the world seems to hate, I'm out here as Spider-Man… whom the world seems to hate."

Ugh.

"And, just to top it all off and remind me how totally futile all my whinging is, I am now stuck in another load of superhero-crazy-stuff when most people my age would currently be moping around in their bedrooms listening to music and complaining about their messed up love lives to their friends. And, as pathetic as that sounds, I so wish I was doing that right now. Y'know, if I had any friends left in the world to complain to. Never date your best friend. Or, if you prefer, never date your ONLY friend. Or, if you prefer, never date your only friend and then drag her into a ton of stupid double-life superhero crap that keeps on screwing you over. Do other people have these problems? Or is it just me? (I bet Captain America doesn't go through all this.) So, yeah. That's what I'm not doing. What I am doing – while feeling totally empty and miserable and fed up with absolutely everything – is fighting some nut job who has taken the time to build himself an eight-foot mechanical rhino costume and is currently laying waste to Brooklyn while the police, or the army, or the freaking Avengers are nowhere to be seen."

UGH.

" I am not in the mood for this. But since when has that mattered, right? With great power comes a whole lot of ass-whupping and bad jokes. Or something like that." Spiderman says spotting the hulking grey suit of a man

"Hero time".

This Rhino is built like a tank and running right at me. The suit looks like it should weigh a fair few tons, so the speed he charges at is surprising. He's outrunning cars, tossing them aside with the horn on his head like they're softballs " Who builds a giant suit of battle armour and makes it look like a rhino? Seriously?".the suit's using some sort of AI hydraulics. And, that is just cool.

Spiderman jumps as Rhino gets ready to plough him down. Eight feet? What's that to a guy with spider powers? Spiderman just clears the horns and land on his back and sticking to the armour-plating. A Quick burst of the webshooters and Spidey has got a hold on his head by a couple of thick strands of webbing.

"Toro! Toro! Easy there, rhino boy!"

"GET OFF ME!" Ah, I see I'm dealing with a true poet here.

Well, maybe not, but unfortunately Spiderman is dealing with a man in a giant suit of armour. "Oh crud."

Rhino swings himself around. He moves fast, faster than Spiderman thinking. Before Spiderman knows what's happened, He's sailing through the air, there's a crash of glass all around and spiderman is lying on the floor of some office.

"Uuugh… um, ow."

Spiderman scramble to his feet. "Come on, Parker, shake it off. It's just your bones and your muscles and your organs. No big deal, right?"

There's a whole office full of people looking at Spiderman. probably wondering what the hell's going on. Its on the tv a news broadcast reads the giant rhino man fighting the red and blue spider guy in the street. Their expressions say they're wondering what the hell is going on.

"Um, hi," I say. "Anyone got a tin of spinach?"

Blank looks. I swear, in my head, I'm hilarious.

"Never mind," Spiderman mutters. "Nobody watches cartoons anymore. Geronimo!""

Spiderman leaps back out of the shattered window. " I wonder what it's like to be one of the people in that office. To have Spider-Man thrown through their window for a few seconds. Bet they're all going to be thinking their lives are getting way too weird, living in this city."

You have no idea.

"Excuse me!" Spiderman land behind tall, grey and gruesome. He turns to look at me. "Sorry, but I think I was just in the middle of stopping you before we were rudely interrupted by you throwing me through a window."

"Shut up, Spider! I AM RHINO! Rhinos crush spiders!"

"Rhinos crush spiders? HuhYou know, I'm going to take a wild guess based on the true wit and insight displayed in that remark and the sophistication of that suit and say… you're not the one who built that suit, are you?"

Rhino doesn't answer. Just roars. And then he charges at Spiderman. Again.

Spiderman shoots a web, which latches onto the Rhino's leg. Keeping hold of the other end, Spiderman runs at him, jumping when He's close. Spiderman lands on the wall of the building next to him And keeps running, pulling the web across Rhino, catching his other leg in it. Rhino trips and crashes into the ground, breaking the road as he lands. As soon as he's down, Spiderman jumps back onto his back.

"See, I would actually be impressed if you'd built this thing. I mean, this is a pretty snazzy high-tech suit you've got going on here." Spiderman's fingers stick to a central plate on the back and He rips it off. Underneath, He then spots the ring of blue light that is the suit's central reactor. "I mean, look at that. That is awesome. What is that? Is that an arc reactor? Please tell me Tony Stark is not building giant rhino suits now. And if he is, and you stole this from him, why is he not here dealing with you in one of his three billion Iron Man suits?"

Rhino roars again. That's not good. His fist slams into the ground and he bolts back up onto his feet. But Spiderman is ready.

As Rhino gets up, Spiderman somersaults from his back, onto the roof of a parked car – one of the ones he hasn't trashed yet. There's a manhole cover a few feet away. Spiderman uses a couple of webs to latch onto it.

"You die now, Spider!" yells Rhino. He charges.

Spiderman jump, pulling the manhole cover up with him by two web-lines. He swing it over his head and, as Rhino passes by beneath him , Spiderman then brings it down on the exposed section at the back of his suit.

There's a crash.

Spiderman lands in front of Rhino.

Light and sparks burst from his armour as the reactor breaks. The whole suit shudders and then falls flat on the ground. A second later, the back of the suit explodes, throwing up smoke and flame.

"Whoo. Whoa. Okay."

A crowd of onlookers is emerging in the street now, coming out of their hiding places.

"Everyone okay?" Spiderman says looking around. "We all good? I tell you what, how about everyone just takes five? I know I could use a break. Whoo."

Spiderman breathes out and relax. Rhino is down. The people are safe. All's good, right? Yeah, right.

Tyres screech on tarmac and three black SUVs are tearing down the street towards me. They stop and a series of guys in black uniforms, all carrying machine guns, file out. There's a woman in a suit too. Blonde, with a face like thunder. I've seen her before.

"Agent Carter," she says. "SHIELD."

"Oh, good, the cavalry has arrived," Spiderman say. "Where were you guys when my giant metal friend over there was destroying half the city?"

"What? Couldn't you handle it?"

"Is THAT how SHIELD operates? Who is this guy anyway? One of yours gone rogue? Guy who stole a suit of armour from you?"

"That's classified information."

"Of course it is. I mean, why should you tell me anything? I only saved everyone and stopped the bad guy, free of charge, for about the billionth time."

"I know it's annoying, kid, but you do this on your own. You get answers if and when Fury wants you on our team. As things are, you're lucky we're not arresting you."

"Well there's gratitude for you. You're welcome, by the way."

"We're going to need you to come in for questioning."

"You serious?"

"Fury's orders."

"Um… yeah. Sure. That'll happen."

A second later, Spiderman swinging away. And Agent Sharon Carter is probably swearing at him under her breath, but whatever. Spiderman wasn't not in the mood. Not today. I mean, it will probably be a cold day in Hell before He ever goes in for SHIELD questioning, but it is most definitely not happening today.

An hour later, Spiderman climbing into his bedroom through the window. So, getting out as Spidey for a while didn't help. Now He's just slightly bruised and upset. He checks the lock on the door, then pulls off his mask and throws it to the floor. Then collapses onto his bed. His eyes fall on the jacket draped over the back of my desk chair. It's not mine. It's Kitty's . She must have left it when she was last here.

Kitty...great. Now He's thinking about her again. And how totally useless it is to even try to do anything.

Peter turns over, and buries his face in his pillow.

Ugh.